I gave into the trend:
My name supposedly means...
Your natural charisma and charm makes you an influential figure able to inspire confidence in others. Material abundance and emotional contentment are seemingly drawn to you and satisfy your dreams of success. However being humanitarian you find that applying your talents and creative prowess to a worthwhile purpose is far more satisfying than material gain. Your courage, adaptability and determination overcome any obstacles.

The car search continues. I saw an adorable red Ford Escort coupe that looked good, until I sat inside and saw how dirty it was. The dude at the place said that there was a cleaner one that's exactly the same only maroon, and we should be able to check that out in a couple of days. Let me tell you, in general, I don't like Fords, but Escorts are reliable and the sport coupes are just so cute!

The AO party Thursday night was so fun. I'm so glad I went. It was great meeting more AO people, and it eased some of my nerves about college, which is nearly here... will be here the day after tomorrow.

Siegel won their first home game last night. Woot.

Oh yes, and it's my dad's birthday. This is the card I got him:



photo from SingAHappySong

Well, "work" is over. They didn't need us anymore after yesterday... they ran out of things for us to do... ha ha... plus the guidance office secretary is out of town today and tomorrow. So at least I earned a few extra dollars. So this cracked me up yesterday even more than the living room quote:

Rebecca (looking out the window of the guidance office, observing a girl talking to a guy): That guy looks scared!
*Someone opens the door to the office and we can hear the guy in the hallway*
Guy: Why do you keep talking to me? Get away from me! I don't know you!

Scary...

So who's going to the AO party tonight? I think I might be. Who's doing We-Haul? I haven't decided yet. Who's ready for college to just hurry up and start so we can get the beginning of the year over with? I definitely am! I'm just ready to be settled into college... but facing this new beginning will just make me stronger. God is showing more and more to not be afraid, and the importance of being brave.

Oh yes, and another question... is anyone free after 12:25 on MWF? We can hang out and eat lunch together! Let me know!

Oh, and I'm still waiting for that video camera and the group of folks to show up at my house...

I want to make music videos. TODAY. I want a group of you to show up at my house with a video camera and ready to go. NOW.

"Work" has been going well. I've been seeing some old friends which is cool. I helped Kelly with some of her guidance office grunt work stuffing mailboxes... fun times! I seriously need to take a picture of the closet room that we have been spending most of our time filing stuff. It's INSANE.

Well... sorry I have nothing real worthwhile to say. Just don't forget about the video camera... ha ha...

Quote of the day:
*Student walks in guidance office*
"They don't have a clock in the living room."
*We all stare at him*
"I mean... cafeteria."

So this evening on CNN they did a special on "Hollywood and Religion". It seems I missed the bit they did on Mel Gibson, but I saw Kirk Cameron (actor: Growing Pains, Left Behind) and Ralph Winter (producer: X-Men). They both seem very solid, and it is so awesome to see that in Hollywood. It's very refreshing to know that there are Christians in Hollywood surviving and thriving and making God known.

I'm so glad that AO is splitting up into different Sunday school classes... maybe this will make it more personal and less overwhelming, especially for the new students coming in. I'm definitely interested in the world religions class.

So, is it just me or is Phusebox slowing down? Is it because school is back, or does everyone else just have more of a life than I do? I just haven't received as many comments, and I'm noticing the same with the other daily users, and those seem to be decreasing as well.

That's about all I have to say here... I'm going to post an old journal entry about Bruce on my other Phusebox so check it out! I've decided to use it for old journal entries I want to share and devotions. I hope everyone has a marvelous day! I'm a working woman tomorrow! Whoo hoo!

From the game last night:



photo from SingAHappySong

Ah... being at a high school football game... it doesn't feel the same when you're not in high school anymore. I don't know it felt different. Maybe it felt different because Garrett was sitting with me instead of with the band. Maybe it felt different because... well I don't even know. Maybe it was just the new stadium. It was fun... but not the same. But that's a good thing. I don't want to go back. I want to move forward. Which is good... since that's my only option!

Anna and I did decide last night, however, that we should have been in band. It just looks like fun...

So I went to Starbucks with Aimee and Anna, and randomly ran into Lauren and Emily. That was pretty cool. I used my Starbucks coupon from the Bronx, so I got to drink a free grande java chip frappucino. That was nice.

Shopping is fun... if you're a girl that has trouble finding jeans, you may want to check out the new "curvy" (or "straight" if that describes you better) jeans at Gap. They fit me PERFECTLY and that's amazing. They're also super cute! If you try on a pair you get a free iTunes song... I'm trying to decide which song I want... oh the many choices...

One year without Bruce... it seems longer to me... it seems like a very distant memory...

Let me tell you... God truly rocks...

God has been teaching me for... well... YEARS to trust Him. He's been trying to tell me for a long time to not worry about my life; that He is in control. He's been teaching me that I just need to rely on Him, and He will handle it.

Well, guess who has a temp job next week, and wasn't even looking for it?!

So next week, I am returning to the hallways of Riverdale for a week of getting paid for filing. Just to think... I did that an hour everyday for a semester for free! Well, I did get credit and a 100... which is better than nothing! Anyhow, so I'm kinda excited about the chance to make some extra money. It'll feel weird going back to the school though...

So God's also been teaching me this: to not be afraid. I'm afraid of college, afraid I may be doing something wrong but not even be aware of it... and I just need to stop! If God could protect me in the Bronx at 1:00 AM, He can take care of me anywhere, anytime! He always does, even when I am not aware of it.

I also have no reason to fear other people- because they're just people. And also, I need to not be afraid to stand up for what I believe. Someone may persecute me for it, but that does not matter.

I heard the song "Brave" (by Nichole Nordeman) on the radio the other day, and it was the first time I really listened to the lryics. I won't post all of them, because I know it can be annoying to read out a whole song, but just consider the following lines:

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave

God is calling me to be brave... no matter what.

He was trying to speak to me, I just know it!

Have you ever been in a room with someone that was talking to a group of people, and though they're speaking English, you feel like they're actually speaking another language entirely, because what they are talking about is so foreign to you? You understand a few of their "foreign" words, like you may pick up bits and pieces of a Spanish conversation, but you're still not entirely sure what's going on? Yeah, I experienced that with the InDesign workshop today (the one that was supposed to happen on Monday).

And then, have you ever...

Been so emotionally attacked by Satan out of the blue and it just made you wonder, "where did that come from?" Have you ever just had a day where the smallest things just triggered you to tears? And yet you know that all that matters is God and what He wants, but that doesn't change your emotions? That happened yesterday, at least twice.

Have you ever...

Just felt so stuck, like nothing is moving forward, yet knowing that in just a week and a half, your whole life is going to change?

Hmmm...

Yay.

Garrett and I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It made me hungry for chocolate of course... ha ha... I loved it again, and Garrett enjoyed it as well.

Nothing else to say. We've been looking at a lot of cars, but the right one hasn't come along yet...

"I want to ask you about school... if you're late for the first day of school, will they kill you?" -Sally to Charlie Brown in a Peanuts cartoon

Well, while many of you returned to high school for your first full day of the new year, I actually went to my new school, though it has not started back yet. This semester I will be working with the Honors College's literary magazine staff, so I went to MTSU for an InDesign worskshop. I ate lunch with Mom at the KUC and got some books at Phillip's. (I didn't see Garrett or Robert, but I did see Justin.)

But anyhow, the guy who was supposed to be showing us how to use InDesign did not show up... go figure! But it was still neat to be at the university. I know some kids go to MTSU because that's their only choice, but that's not the case with me. I chose to go there, and I like it, and I can feel how right it is whenever I'm on campus.

I have had some concerns like Sally, however, like what if I'm late to a class because I have trouble finding it? But I know that God is in control, and it's all going to work out for His glory.

photo from SingAHappySong

Yesterday Garrett's dad turned 50, and I went to his birthday party last night. It was pretty fun. It was the first time I had played a real game of pool. I played against Hannah McKnight, who had also never played before. I lost because I sunk the 8 ball too soon. Oops. I stunk pretty bad at first but thankfully improved throughout the game. I'm definitely not that great though... Garrett's Uncle Ham nailed Chuck (Garrett's dad) in five minutes... Well I guess we'll see how well he does when HE'S the one turning 50... ha ha... ok, so 50's really not THAT old...

And just to think, sometimes I think 18 going on 19 is old. Well, not really old, but sometimes I feel like I've let the best years of my life slip past me. Wasn't high school supposed to totally rock? Well, I had a pretty good three years (I hated freshman year) but I think it's going to get better (but probably also harder) as God works through my life more and more.

And speaking of age... have you ever found yourself having to console someone older than you? It's a strange feeling. It makes you realize that growing up doesn't mean you'll always be confident or have all the answers. So that means that even on that first day of college when I feel oh so timid and not confident... that doesn't make me any less of a young woman... HOWEVER, I should rely on God, because He will take care of me!

So where are some good tennis shoes? I decided I wanted to take the Reeboks back... they're not my style... and I took back the pair of tennis shoes I had bought before those... I'm having a serious shoe crisis! I've been having a hard time finding shoes that fit me lately... odd... my old shoes still fit fine... so it can't be my feet... I don't think...

I went to Emily's bridal shower for a little while. That was kinda neat. I had never been to a bridal shower before today. It's the most I've gotten to talk to Sarah B. since she came home.

And last but not least, I have a theology bit for the day. Yes indeed... so my dad was talking about the sermon this morning and was saying something to me about how we can't come to God unless He calls to us, because we really can't come to Him on our own. So for a moment I was confused, but then I realized that this is very true. I'm not a Calvinist, but I believe in predestination. I also believe in free will. Contradiction? I don't think so. The Bible has verses about both. God predestines those He foreknew. Meaning, God knows who's going to believe in Him, and those He predestines. And those are the ones He calls to Him and accepts. We have the choice, but He knows how we will respond.

I clicked on the "what does your name mean" link on Drew's Phusebox and tried it out myself. The box was being stupid so I decided to just type it out what it said. I think it's quite hillarious:

AMY
A is Adventurous
M is for Mysterious
Y is for Yummy

To my PTT peeps... I got the Shawn McDonald CD! Now I can "na na" all the time!!!

I love to write. When I can write without stopping for quite a while, it's a good feeling for me. Now what can stink about writing, however, is that you can spend a long time doing it and by the end of it you realize that what you just finished pouring yourself into is a piece of crap that should be burned and never spoken of again. That was yesterday.

And then there's today. That's when you write a while, dream and plan of what you may write in the future, and realize that's it's pretty good. It's being inspired and seeing a vision in your mind. The only thing that stinks about today's writing is that I am totally ripping off Little Women and making it modern day and giving characters new names. I can't help it though. I truley believe that Little Women is the single greatest novel ever about young women and what they should be.

But I don't just want to write the story. I want to make it a movie

That, my friends, is one of many reasons why I am majoring in media production and minoring in English.

I get to see the greatest high school marching band in Tennessee perform tonight... at least they better still be the greatest! ;-)

It's so weird to read everyone's entries about going back to school today... It sounds like it went well for everyone. I hope I can say the same about my first day of college in appox. 18 days (too lazy to check my math). A girl I met at Customs from Chattanooga is moving here in 9 days for MTSU band camp, and I realize that many people are making this transition. And I have it pretty easy compared to most. I'm staying home this first year, and will have the convenience of being with my parents and having them here to help me.

In some ways... however... it makes me feel less grown up. But I know I'm doing the right thing, and sometimes as a grown up, you have to do what you know is right, even when it doesn't seem right.

I have all my books for school minus English now...

Since everyone's posting their school schedule, I decided I would post mine as well since I never did:

MWF:
Intro to Earth Science
Math for General Studies
W:
Intro to Earth Science lab
TR:
Theatre Appreciation Honors
Experience of Literature Honors
Understanding Mass Media Honors

I'm excited...

*EDIT*
Quote of the day: "Mmmm... trans fat."

"Everything you love is what makes a life worth living. Take a moment, set down the book, and make a list of all the things you love... Simply think of all the things you love."

I made a list. I'll share just a few things with you:
~Sunsets
~Photography
~Laughing
~Music
~Chocolate
~Autumn
~Daydreaming
~My friends and family
~God's love

"The heart is you. The deepest, truest you."

I am rereading Waking the Dead by John Eldrdge (where the quotes are from) and it is blowing me away once again. When you realize the reality of your life, that God wants you to live fully and radiate His glory... it's amazing. It's the same way when you realize that God wants to capture your heart, that it is the wellspring of your life, from where your desires and dreams flow... it's incredible.

"His [the Enemy's] plan from the beginning was to assault the heart... Of course your heart would be the object of a great and fierce battle. It is your most precious possession. Without your heart you cannot have God... without your heart you cannot have life."

I won't be at church tonight. I'm going with Garrett and his family to his Grandparents'. See y'all later...

Ok, I can never live in a house with stairs ever again. Either that, or I just need to learn how to walk.

Ok, so I am considering a couple of things:

1. Taking some graphic design classes in college for electives. I would do this through mass comm, however, for some strange reason I have to have 80 classes outside of mass comm, so I may actually be taking a couple of these classes through the ART department. I've never taken an art class in my life. I may have to take a couple of basic art classes before I move on to graphic design classes. Older college kids: do you know anything about the art department and the teachers? Will they smite me for having little drawing ability if I am forced to take Drawing 1?

I began to consider this as a result of the fun I had with Paint Shop Pro this morning:



photo from SingAHappySong

2. I am considering using my second Phusebox (UntilLater- which was created when I was having technical difficulties with my current username) as a place for me to post devotions. Nathan suggested this, and I had been considering the idea already. This consideration is highly possible, in fact, I might make my first devotional post on there later today or tomorrow.

Also, I am still thinking about and praying about what God has in store for me concerning youth and drama stuff. Thanks for all the encouragement guys... y'all rock my socks!

I'm almost finished with Between A Rock and A Hard Place... I just have to finish the last chapter... which is extremely long...

photo from SingAHappySong



photo from SingAHappySong



photo from SingAHappySong



photo from SingAHappySong

Seriously though...

God called me out this morning. I had a negative attitude about Sunday School (again). God spoke to me through the worship time as I prayed for a change of heart. It doesn't matter whether or not I like the music or the teaching or anything else, what matters is my heart. Is my heart in the right place? Am I there to worship God? Obviously I was not. But when God revealed that to me, it was a good class. I really enjoyed the teaching this morning... well as much as you can enjoy God totally calling you out...

Because I judge entirely too much. In James 4 we are instructed not to slander others. As a girl, I tend to gossip. As a human being, I tend to judge. As a Christian, I should be striving to overcome both. And just when I thought I was doing better... I realized I wasn't.

I'm sorry I've judged you. That's right, YOU. If you are reading this, if you know me, if you've spoken to me, if I've ever looked at you, I've judged you. Yes, it is human nature. And I'm sorry.

So Sunday School actually went well, and service was fine, and then during the ministry fair I couldn't find Mom, and I was hungry, and I just wanted to go away. And between some different conversations I realized that I really do not know where I am supposed to be heading.

The "something" I mentioned before NY was youth ministry. I talked to Chris today... and I'm definitely going to be doing something with youth. As of now, it doesn't look like a whole lot, but I'm going to keep praying about it. And then there's this new drama ministry... or revived drama ministry... and there's also the youth drama team I said I would help with but now... I don't know... I need prayer. Pray that God guides me.

That's the story of my life right now. And always really. God guiding me through everything: what kind of car to buy, what to do in college, what to do in church, my everyday choices in life...

I hope you know... I love you all.

Go to Garrett's tonight at 7 for a movie night! You know you want to!

I bought Reeboks today... which I've never had before... I think I like them... ha ha... they're super white right now which is kinda scary... I think they'll look better when they've been dirtied up...

I really don't have anything to say. How sad. Garrett and I swam earlier today, but it wasn't very long before the thunder started rumbling... oh well...

Car update: Though we're pretty much looking at Toyotas, Mom spotted a blue 2001 Cheverlot Prizim... not a bad canidate...

The Snuggle bear is becomming more and more scary...

College is approaching... excitment building!

"The glory of God is man fully alive." -Saint Irenaeus

"...that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live." -Deut. 30:6b

"See, I set before you today life and prosperity..." -from Deut 30:15

To be fully alive is to fully love God. When we fully love God, His glory is revealed. Therefore, to be fully alive is to reveal God's glory. When we follow Him and love Him, we fully live because He directs in our paths what it takes to live life fully for Him.

So...

Tonight is that swing music concert thing on the Square. Garrett and I are going... it should be fun! Also, we should all do something tomorrow night. Anna and I have been talking about it... any suggestions?

Mom said we might get a car for her and then I would get hers... that would be amazing. I love the 2000 black Toyota Camry with spoiler... But right now, anything decent and running would be nice...

Mom and Dad went and ate Chinese for lunch today. My Dad brought home a fortune cookie for me and this is what it said: "This is a good time to consider formally helping others."

Hmmm... interesting...

I seriously might FINALLY be getting a car soon!

When we wait for God, He will bless us. We may not like it or agree with His timing, but it always works out for the best. We may not understand it, but God has it under control.

"If there is no strain, there will be no strength." -Oswald Chambers

I think I may pursue this "something" that I mentioned before I left for NY... I'll keep y'all informed...

I *heart* iPods... they rock...

Is it just me, or are the groups on here getting dumber and dumber, not to mention somewhat hostile, by the second?

My heart's desires... mean something... God gave them to me for a reason... if I follow Him, He will lead me there...

Pray for my Mamaw. This morning my dad and I went over to where she and my Papaw live and she said she wasn't feeling well. Granted, the woman is nearly 90, but she's been in pretty good health her whole life...

Mom and I went shopping at Cool Springs yesterday. I got the most adorable jacket ever! I like it...

Congrats to the Girl Scouts I saw in the paper this morning... I was amazed by how many I knew...

Just some random musings for the day...

I'll see most of you tonight... have a great day!

I am finally home! As glad as I am to be home, my week at Paint The Town was incredibly awesome! I never knew what a blessing painting a school in the Bronx could be!

There were some fun times... like Belle Aire people hanging out in the Prayer Room... jamming out to the live version of "Take My Hand" by Shawn McDonald excessive times in the van... hanging out at the Bronx Starbucks... going to the Brooklyn Tabernacle and encountering God... There were some scary times... like getting lost at the Bronx at 1:30 in the morning... And there were some times I did not feel like serving, like at the Block Party and the last day of painting.

All in all though, it was a great week! I have so many stories and so much to say so I don't know what to specifically point out! Be sure to browse through my pictures and feel free to ask questions about my trip and I'll be glad to answer them in my next post. I think the greatest thing God revealed to me is that He has such awesome visions and plans for my life is I am willing to listen to Him for them! The whole week in NY and then on Sunday at The Point Church in NJ the speakers kept talking about Nehemiah and God's vision to us... I think God may be trying to tell me something here! I'm still praying about possible future opprtunities...

Here's a few of the new pictures you'll find in my photo box from this week:



photo from SingAHappySong



photo from SingAHappySong



photo from SingAHappySong

*EDIT* Ah yes, and I failed to mention the lack of air conditioning at the beginning of the week... but I am sure you will hear about that from the others... God definitely tested us at the beginning of it all... and it all worked out for His good...

photo from SingAHappySong

Well, I believe this shall be my last entry until Monday, August 1. *Tear* I shall miss you all, but I shall return... Please pray for this trip and that God really works through the whole group!

What's with me saying "shall"?!

Anyhow, for all of you to remember me by, I thought I would share a couple of funny stories:

1.) Yesterday, I was running up the stairs in my townhouse. For those of who do not know, I 1.) Have never lived in a house with stairs before this one and 2.) Am a complete klutz sometimes. And so, I am running up the stairs, I fall, and now I have this nasty bruise knot thing on my shin. It's very lovely indeed. As Garrett said last night when I told him the story: "Only you could fall up the stairs!" Too true...

2.) My mom and I went to Rafael's today, and they had this really stupid but funny show on called The 70's House. Apparently, it is this MTV reality show where they stick these people in a house and make them act like they're in the 70's. Slowly but surely, after rigorious competitions (like playing dodgeball against professional wrestlers) and such, contestants are elinminated. If you ever happen to be flipping through the channels and see a bunch of people wearing 70's getup on MTV, you might want to pause and just watch it for a few moments, just for a good laugh.

Don't forget... Starbucks at 7!!!

"God first seeks devotion to Him in the hidden place- worship when no one else is watching." -Matt Redman

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." -C.S. Lewis

"I've always known this wasn't home." -Bethany Dillon

I finished the little book I mentioned yesterday, and it turned out to be super awesome! It was a great way for me to connect with God when I wasn't really feeling anything at all.

Please be in prayer for me guys... well first off for my trip (I can't believe I leave the day after tomorrow...) but secondly for this: Last night Garrett randomly mentioned something to me, and told me that he thinks I should do it. Well, I had been thinking about it already, and hearing him say that out of no where just seemed to be further confirmation. So if y'all would please pray for everything to work out the way it's supposed to I would greatly appreciate it!

I love each and every one of you so much!!!

All the cool kids are going to Starbucks tomorrow night at 7. I'll be sure to remind you tomorrow as well... because you need to be there!

I spent some time today reading a few chapters in a random little book I found in our house called The Unquenchable Worshipper by Matt Redman. I don't know what in the universe made me start thinking back to Big Stuf... I guess just thinking about the awesome worship there made me think of it... and I thought about Louie and some of the things he said. As Christians, we're supposed to work as hard as we can to be the best at whatever we do, so that others will see the glory of God radiating through us.

That is a form of worship... that is worship... our lifestyle. What we do and how we live. So, I want to be involved with video production. Whether I work in Hollywood or make videos like the one we saw last night or do something with music videos in both the Christian and mainstream markets... I am to do it in a way that will honor God, please God, and radiate God.

I remember the relief I felt when Louie said that we can just chill out and be normal people... we don't have to push Jesus into people's faces in order to radiate Him. I don't have to tell everyone on a set about Jesus. Rather, I should strive to be the best producer, director, friend, employee, whatever I am to each person, that I possibly can be, and God will work through it.

I don't know what this has to do with anything. Maybe it's just encouragement before New York. Maybe God just wants me to know that if I am the best painter I can be on the trip, He will handle the rest and work through it.

"The glory of God is man fully alive." -Saint Ireneus