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Abide and Thrive

It's kind of funny how when you hear other people say some of the very things you've said yourself, you realize how silly it sounds, or at least you realize there's something wrong with the statement.

Over the weekend, I worked with 8th grade girls for One Weekend. And it really struck me Saturday night when they were talking about how they approach prayer, and what they talk to God about. And let me just preface my next sentence by saying that I am a terrible example of how a Christian's prayer life should be, but hearing what they said really hit me. While they were talking about what they talk to God about I asked them, "When y'all pray, do y'all do all the talking?"

"Well yeah," they replied, like what else was supposed to happen?

"Do y'all realize that prayer is a conversation with God, and you need to hear what He's saying?"

I could tell that resonated with the girls, and it resonated with me too, because I'm just the same as them. I rarely ever sit still long enough to listen to His voice. But it only makes sense that He would talk back to me, because a relationship does not fall on the shoulders of one individual.  

And you know, maybe if I took the time to actually carry a true conversation with God, I would realize some things so much sooner than I do. A perfect example would be the fact that I just had to back out of AO's Spring Break trip to New York, because I realized that I couldn't do that and so many other things I needed to plus maintain rest and communion with God. It was way too much and I've been wearing myself too thin as it is.

So I did as what Jerel calls, "laying the fleece out", and asked God that if I wasn't supposed to go, to please quickly find someone to take my place. So I told Hodge how I felt and boom - next day, I was replaced. Just like that. And while I paid like $200 and don't get to go, someone else gets to go for free, and to them, that may be a huge blessing. And just knowing that makes me feel better. If I had listened long ago, I wouldn't have been in this situation, but thank God I finally did listen, and thank God that someone else is being blessed. And it will be so nice to finally have a week to rest. 

Changing the subject, I've been to many Disciple Now events, whether it was Journey at my church in Houston or One Weekend at Belle Aire. I've gone to one every year since sixth grade, even during my college years since I've been a leader, totaling to ten of these things. The one that really truly sticks out in my mind more than any other is from my freshman year of high school.

That weekend we reflected on John 15, and how it is vital to abide in Christ. Our speaker for the weekend was Clayton King, and I remember him talking about how if we are to bear fruit for Christ, we have to be prunned (trimmed) and that can hurt! But it's so important. And I was able to mention that to my girls this weekend, and it was just neat to see what a resonating theme that is. As a Christian, we're going to go through fiery furnaces, and we may be rescued and we may not, but abiding is essential, and when we're focused on Christ and His purpose, then we are exactly where we need to be. It's easy to get comfortable where we are. But as I type, I can see out of the corner of my eye some pictures from M-Fuge this summer, and I remember that I'm not supposed to be comfortable in my set ways. I'm supposed to be glorifying Him. 

But you know what's really great about that? It doesn't mean I always have to go on mission trips, just as I'm learning this year. Sometimes it means resting in Him and hearing what He has to say. And I hope I don't miss that this next week.  

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School's Lame...

I forgot how busy 15 (technically 16) hours of school could be. But this semester is still better than last semester...

For that "one hour" I have in addition to the five classes I'm already taking, I am in the "tutorial" stage of my thesis/project that I am doing in order to graduate from the Honors College. My proposal for what I want to do is due this Friday, so I'm working on that and another paper this week. I have decided that for my project I am going to do a short film LOOSELY based off Crime and Punishment. I'm excited about the potential it has, but I'm sort of afraid I won't be able to pull it off, especially after having such a bad semester of Single Cam and the fact I will be out of practice once summer rolls around (which is when I plan to shoot). Hopefully, however, with help from talented friends and professional equipment from the school, I should be able to do a pretty good job. I hope, anyways. I'm going to try to make it as simple as possible, since it really is a character-driven story.

Anyhow, not much else to report on for now...  

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Something Extraordinary

I feel like I waste a lot of time.

I just sit around the house.

Doing absoluetly nothing that adds value to anyone's life.

But what am I supposed to be doing exactly?

I honestly don't know. 

Now I complain I have free time that I don't know what to do with, and soon I won't have any free time at all and be complaining about that.  

Today I have been admring the great photography of professionals.

Today I also thought back to what ol' MJ said about striving for a professional look when it came to creating videos, and not a prosumer.

But I feel like I will never achieve it.

I don't have any inspiration.

Or equipment.

Or any idea.

And college doesn't seem to be helping me much.

I don't know.

I guess I'll just get a job in marketing or something.

Or maybe just be a housewife and mother.

There's nothing wrong with that.

It's noble and great.

I want to be a great wife and mother.

But...

I don't know.

I suppose... 

I guess I've just always hoped that I was made for something quite extraordinary... 

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A New Year, A New Persepective

Well, the year 2007 has come and gone, and I for one am glad for a fresh, new start with a fresh, new year.

2007 was a pretty cruddy year for me. A lot of good things did happen, but it seems as if more bad happened (though I know that's not the case, three significant deaths sure makes it feel that way). I had a rough summer dealing with death, a rough semester dealing with a cruddy class, and some other situations along the way that have not made life any easier. I know it will all make me stronger though. At the end of the year I was finally looking to God in a way that I had neglected to do so during the fall semester. 

But I don't want to dwell on my past. I want to move on. I'm trusting that 2008 will a better year. I am going to make it a better year. Even when tough things come my way, by dwelling on Christ I can get through them.  I cannot let my circumstances define my attitude. While I do feel as if I handled the deaths over the summer pretty well, I definitely did not handle the stress from the fall very well. 

In November I wrote down a few goals, some fun and some serious, I had for 2008. That's pretty much all I have, no real resolutions. I just want to thrive in Christ and walk in His way. I know I have a lot of growing up to do this year as I will make the transition from college junior to college senior and begin thinking about jobs and other post-graduation things. I know I have a lot ahead of me, but I also know that through it all I will grow.

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. -Phil. 3:13b-14

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