Strange things happened today:

1. Even though I was stuck in Nashville for a good 20 minutes, I still made  a record Memphis/Cookeville trip at 3:12, logging 267 miles.

2. As I arrived in Cookeville, I turned on the radio to the line "walking in Memphis" from the song "Walking in Memphis."  That was weird.

3. I got all of my stuff out of my car, into my room, unpacked, put away, hooked up, etc. in 13 minutes.  That's about 50 lbs. of clothes, 40 lbs. of books, 5 lbs. of DVDs, and 50+ lbs. of computer stuff.

It seems to be a good day thus far.

Murphy Hall, 1:38 am

The residents of the Honors Dorm were, for the large part, asleep, when one William Wilhoite of room 209 felt a bit hungry.  In order to sate his hunger, he decided to melt some cheese (in his microwave) to go with some chips.  What next occured is lost to the annals of Murphy lore as Wilhoite will not confirm his whereabouts.  All that is known is that the cheese began to smoke vehemently and set off the fire alarm in Murphy Hall.
As students began to pour outside, young Paige Adkisson noted that her dashing, handsome lover, Jonathan Wood, had not yet exited the building.  As the minutes passed and his royal red-locked head never passed through the doors, she began to panic.  She dialed his room number on her cellular phone and waited an eternity for the answer.
Meanwhile, in Murphy 106, David Patton, playing a video game on his computer, ignored the fire alarm as it blared in the hallway as his roommate, the courageous Jonathan Wood, slept peacefully.  When the phone rang, Patton ignored it as well, leaving the newly awakened Jonathan to answer.  When Paige described the building as being on fire, Jonathan decided that his safest bet would be to wait out the inferno in his room, but, because of his great love and compassion for the panicked girl's plight of desperation, deigned it a suitable option to join the amassed throngs of residents outside of the dorm, dragging his sorry roommate with him.
As the temperatures outside plummetted to nearly -78K, the Murphy and Jobe residents waited patiently for nigh 15 minutes for the fire department to casually stroll in, poke around in the building for 10 minutes, then allow everyone back in, but not before Wilhoite's cheese was named the culprit in bringing us all out at 2 in the frigging morning.

I am not a happy camper!  I am also not a well-rested camper!  I want blood!

Just to add on: the day went downhill from there until about 2 pm.  It was unfun.

So I haven't posted in a few weeks.  What has happened since that time?  Well, Paige and I had our one month anniversary, an occasion neither of us actually remembered until a few days afterward.  I got to spend time with Josh, Liz, and Daniel, which was fun.  I also got to observe Daniel's daycare group for my Developmental Psych class, which was also very enjoyable.  We had the Freshman Retreats, which could have been better (naturally).  Lots of other stuff as well.  Lots of stuff...like seeking out Donald Rumsfeld's cell # for James.  That was a heck of a lot of fun.

So today I'm going to complain about people who try to be what they're not.  This group of people includes not only the pretenders, but also the self-important and those who actually believe they are something they are not. 

One particular young man I know desires to be at the existentially angsty Perry Model stage #5, so purposefully tries to depress himselfby reading such existentialist authors as Sartre and Camus.  I reccomended he read Nietzche so that he may at least read someone I consider intelligent, but he shot that down.  Nietzche may make him think, after all.  So now those around this particular young man have to deal with his general pissiness.  I have many other things to say about this particular case, but I don't have the time.  Rather, I'd just like not to dwell on it for too long.

Next, we have the self-important.  Take, for example, a girl I know who, because her family couldn't afford the art school she had desired to attend, comes to Tech.  I can sympathize with her not being able to attend the school of her choice because of financial concerns; my family deals with this as well.  Her problem, however, is that she looks with derision on those of us who attend Tech because, I don't know, we want to come here.  After all, it's obviously such a terrible school if it's affordable.  So every day, and I mean every single day, her remarks and condescending looks burn into my skull in a concentration of total discomfort on my part.  Luckily for me, though, she seems to be getting along well with the guy from the first case.

So yeah, I guess there's something else I'm complaining about.  It's sort of a guilty pleasure: I feel guilty, but it feels great at the same time.

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=2492984&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312

This is an article about some crazy dudes from Canadia (NOT CANADA, people!).  What they did was scan the Mona Lisa with a nifty color laser scanner in order to figure out what it was that Da Vinci did to make it so nifty (i.e. no visible brush strokes or fingerprints).  Read the article.  Look at the pictures.  You will not regret it.  Hopefully.

I've been having sinus crappiness going on lately.  I've also had sleep crappiness going on lately.  Tonight, they teamed up on me in the form of hallucinations.  I awoke around 2:15am being unable to breathe, but these polyps in my mind had me convinced that if I could just pronounce my French and Italian correctly, I'd be able to breathe again.  Naturally, I laid there for about half an hour struggling to breathe so that I could pronounce words correctly.  I was invariably wrong, but that's the way it goes.  Eventually, I hit a point where the floodgates of my nose opened and I realized that these polyps (which had surrounded me in a multitude of shapes and sizes); I then blew my nose and felt good for a few minutes.  I turned on some Andrea Bocelli to help me sleep, but the polyps returned, changing shape and color and size as Andrea's music changed; each time they'd change, I'd have to change my toes' directions, or else the polyps would stop my breathing again.  After a bit, I realized that the polyps were not real, but now it's a quarter after three.  I've taken 2 Tylenol and a sleeping pill, so maybe I can conk out and make it through the rest of the night.

You know how I was complaining the other day about the Muslims proving that they are peaceful by causing trouble?  I just read about how in Indonesia, Christian mobs are rioting and destroying Muslim businesses because of the execution of some Roman Catholic mob inciters.  It's so despicable that these people are trying to force their false religion onto others by rioting.  They should know that only Muslims know how to riot in the correct fashion.  Duh.

I'm sure most who read this post remember when Jesus said, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by the Word of God" or something similar to that (it's been a while, okay?).  I've eaten tons of bread this semester...so far about four loaves of dry bread, plus many bagels, rolls, biscuits, and other assorted bread products.  Granted, I've eaten other things, but if you were to diagram my food pyramid, there would be a humongous base for the carbohydrates and a couple blocks floating in the air for the other groups.  So, yeah, I'm almost living by bread alone.  Apparently that's as close as one can get.  ;)

I watched an incredible movie the other night: The Miracle Match, starring Gerard Butler (hot!), Wes Bentley, and Patrick Stewart.  In one of my favorite scenes, a Roman Catholic man refers to a "voodoo" man's prayers as sacreligious.  The "voodoo" man, John, tells the Catholic man, Geno, that sacreligious means "against religion."  He tells Geno that what he is doing is not sacreligious just because it's a different religion.  So you see?  I am not heretical in my comments; I'm sacreligious.

Stole that from a song I listened to a few days ago...that's not the entire line, but I didn't want a really long title.  I just feel great today; everything seems to be going well so far.  There's always music playing in the background of my head - today's songs are all upbeat and optimistic.  This is a very non-Jonathan day.

Anyway, I'm going to complain about the whole Pope/Muslim thing now.  As many who know me know, I think that people in general are stupid.  This opinion is supported by the actions being taken in response to what the Pope said in his speech.  Here is a sample dialogue:

Extremist Muslim 1: "Did you hear what the Pope said?  He said Muslims are evil and violent people!"
Extremist Muslim 2: "No!  He should not have said that!"
Me: "He was quoting someone else.  Maybe we should let it slide?"
Extremist Muslim 1: "Never!  He must know we're not violent or evil!"
Extremist Muslim 2: "Of course!  Let us burn statues of him and promise death and vengeance on him and the West!"

Seriously...where is the logic in this stuff?  It's kind of like this other dialogue:

Extremist Christian 1: "Jesus said we're supposed to love everyone."
Extremist Christian 2: "Yes, we should.  Don't you just hate those queers, though?  Living in sin.  They're all going to hell."
Me: "But shouldn't we love them anyway?  I mean, that's kind of what Jesus said..."
Extremist Christian 1: "No, that's not what he meant."
Extremist Christian 2: "Yeah, we love them by letting them know they're going to hell and not letting them near us.  It's the only way."

So yeah, stupid people irritate me.  I also kind of enjoy making up dialogues:

Stupid Non-Christian: "The DaVinci code disproves Christianity!"
Stupid Christian: "No!  It's evil lies!  Dan Brown is the devil!"
Me: "Actually, he says that the book is fiction.  It doesn't prove or disprove anything."
Stupic Non-Christian: "That's just what the Christians want you to think!  He is a prophet of the God that's not there!  Ha!  Beat that!"
Stupid Christian: "A prophet of SATAN, perhaps!"

*le sigh*

But I'm still happy today!  Hoorah!

I was thinking about the whole Theistic Anthropology thing I've been thinking about lately, which leads me to think about the dichotomy of grace and evil.  Not good/evil, but grace/evil.

For me, a dichotomy in this sense is a pair of ideas in which one can overpower the other just by being in existence.  The only thing that can defeat evil is grace, and the only thing that can impede or stop grace is evil, so they are the dichotomy.

Anyway, I was thinking about how remarkable it really is that for the two greatest ideas to exist (grace and love), we first needed the two worst ideas (sin and alienation).  So what's more important in this case?  The cause (sin) or the effect (grace)?  More to think about.

This is Action News Reporter Jonathan Wood coming at you live from Murfreesboro, TN.  This is just a quick post because I have a request: write a third verse, a bridge, or both for this song and either leave it as a reply or send it via pm to me:

Verse 1:
It's been so hard for me to figure out what it was that I had lost
And I never realized it was gone til I found you
You know you came to me, yeah I was hurting, alone, and weak
But you showed me what it meant to live, and I love you

Chorus:
All that I am is because of you
And you know tha tI need you by my side
You make me stronger than I thought possible
You know you've made me whole

Verse 2:
I fell so hard there was no way I could return
I knew there was no way you could ever love me
And I know that I'm not the man with whom you've always dreamed of spending your life
But I want you to know that I'll try

[Chorus]

Granted, these words will change a lot over time, but this is the first draft.

Thanks!

Well, I got back to Cookeville yesterday afternoon, and now I'm finishing up with my preparations for the retreat.  Whoopee!

I was seventeen seconds from running.  My bags are packed, and I could have them in the car, in 12 seconds.  5 then to get the car started.  I could have left, but I stayed because, well, where would I go?  I'm dying here...cramped into a small world when I need space.  I need to be able to move, to get up and go, to write and compose, to imagine and dream.  Maybe in a few weeks.

Here is my day:

1. I did laundry
2. I met Marlee and her boyfriend at my church and played all but one of my songs for them.  They enjoyed, but I'm not going too much on their opinions as neither of them is too musically inclined.  It is encouraging, though.
3. Saw a friend on the road and met her at her workplace to hang talk; I haven't seen her in months.
4. Found out that a guy I used to play soccer with died in a car wreck about a week ago.
5. Figured out a nifty, overused chord structure for a new song.  I think this one will be my duet piece I've been wanting to write.  We'll see.

I had this dream a week ago tonight where I had a terminal illness.  Since I was dying anyway, I threw all caution to the wind and enjoyed myself, followed up on opportunities, and just didn't care about embarassment or anything like that.  When I was at church last night, I was just hit with that feeling again, and it's stuck so far.  I've enjoyed myself for the past few days.  I even yelled in one of my songs without blushing - now that is an accomplishment.

Changing gears...

I just got a cool feeling that I haven't felt in over a year.  If anyone reading this has seen Collateral, it's the feeling you're supposed to get in the scene with the coyotes.  It's this feeling of "I'm here, right now, living a life that will never be relived."  It's the feeling I used to get when I was driving home at 2 or 3 in the morning, when there aren't any cars out and you can really think about things.
I have a calling, a purpose, but I don't know what it is.  Just sitting around has never helped me get anywhere, and it's certainly not going to help now.  I've got this urge in me to get out, to do something, but I don't know what to do.  This sucks.

I have 8 completed songs; granted, two of these are meant to go together as a two-part song...kind of like "We Will Rock You" and "We Are the Champions" but not as good and not about the same thing.  This makes me happy, as I am nearing my goal of 15 by next June; these 8 have been written since late last July, so I'm close to some sort of schedule.

Today, all of the official paperwork went through, and I am now the owner of a 3.56 GPA.  I believe that the term I am looking for here is "Boo-yah."  So there.  Boo-yah.

Nothing depressed or contemplative or complaining tonight.  Yet.

Assuming that effort truly is the indicator of future success, would the probability of fulfilling a dream or achieving a destiny if you endured all hardships and challenged your difficulties with incredibly enthusiasm not be 100%?  If the aforementioned assumption is correct, then that statement would be true, but the assumption is not valid.  Otherwise, all struggling young actors would come into their own and achieve great success while Drew Barrymore would have never been in a movie.  Now, since this is not the case, we must accept that terrible fact that in any sort of competitive environment, it takes more than drive and ability in order to succeed; in fact, succeeding in a competitive endeavor relies on what could easily be compared to winning the lottery.  So, basically, we who are in college are devoting a portion of life which we will never have returned to us in order to specialize in a particular area, however focused that area may be, so that we can enter our names into a raffle for a prestigious job in order to perpetuate the cycle by sending our children through the educational pathways which we have just recently vacated.  In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter whether or not we had the highest paying job as, at the end of things, we are still dead.  Forget about living on through your children and that sentimental garbage; the fact of the matter is that we all die and the world doesn't take notice unless we are mightily influential.

Now, let's look at those who were mightily influential.  A great percentage of them were influential, rich, important, and powerful because they had a goal and abandoned all to achieve it.  When that goal was achieved, they were able to enjoy the fruits of their labors. I've got to stop writing and start working.  I'll be back later.

It's always nice to pep yourself up.

That was the official name of our trip.  You can look up our route to see what you think:
Memphis, TN to Kilgore, TX
Kilgore, TX to Galveston, TX
Galveston, TX to San Antonio, TX
San Antonio, TX to Garland, TX
Garland, TX to Memphis, TN

That's for the last 8 days.  Fun stuff.  Here's what I learned on the trip: how to say goodbye.  I hit a nice emotional low a few nights ago, so I did a cell phone purge.  I took out all of the numbers of people who I'm in contact with every 6 months or so because I initiate the contact.  I understand that people have busy schedules, but seriously...if I've got a buddy who works 25 hours a week and isn't going to school or dating anyone, how hard is it really for him to call me within 6 months?  So I deleted some people who never deem it necessary to act as if they care about me.  I feel like a brat saying that and doing what I did, but seriously...without the contact information in there, I won't be able to contact them without going through a lot of trouble (which you know I don't do a whole lot of), so, in my way, I said goodbye to some "friends" I've held onto for the past several years.  It hurt and dropped me lower, but I feel better now about the whole thing.  I know I'm an introvert and a relative loner, but I still get lonely when people don't show interest.  Luckily, I've got a few people who do show interest and love.  Those others, though...the ones to whom I've given unrequitably...they're out.  I said my goodbyes to a ceiling in Garland.

Changing gears...

I keep myself in check very well.  Whenever I'm getting particularly spiritual/moral/whatever, I manage to find some trouble in which to place myself.  I keep myself from existing on any extremes, and this is something that drives me to irritation every day I live.  I desire so much to live an extreme, but my survivalist instinct reprimands me for such thought patterns.  In my heart is the desire to throw off the chains I willingly wear, the chains that hold me where I am.  I wish with all of my heart that I could break the chains, spread my wings, and fly.  But these desires are quickly squelched by any number of things: my lack of ability, my lack of confidence, fears, anxieties, others' opinions.  So the question I raise to myself is whether or not I will ever be able to achieve greatness.

Changing gears...

I was thinking the other day that everything a person does is part of an overall effort to be superior to others, however conscious or unconscious that desire of superiority may be.  Even team players strive the be the best team player.  It's insane how we want to excel to the detriment of others.  This is why I've come up with the crackpot idea that man's design is originally for a much smaller population size.  When God finished his creation, there was a man and a woman who were given the charge to subdue the earth.  This command still resonates within the breast of every man and woman on earth, and, in our efforts to so subdue the earth, we focus on the betterment of the individual rather than the betterment of society.  Is betterment a word?  With two people, the focus on the betterment of self could actually more fruitfully contribute to the betterment of the group, but when there are 6 billion people striving for the betterment of self, the group inevitably suffers.  Now, what kind of solution could solve such a dilemma?  No reasonable solutions have presented themselves to me, reasonable meaning practical with man in their current and future terrestrial states.  So I allow myself to detract from the good of society by better supporting my own individual interests.  Is this right?  Wrong?  Neither?  I'm not sure.  All I know is that my fears won't allow me to surrender fully to bettering myself or society; as usual, I have ideas, but I can't allow myself to follow through with them.

Changing gears...

Why do I always have these crazy dreams about who I want to be?  All I end up doing is convincing myself even further that I will never be able to achieve whatever it is that I hope to achieve.  For example - wanting to be a singer.  I have ability, but not enough.  So I end up spending my time depressing myself because, deep down, I know this dream will never come true.  These fears further detract from any chances which I may have to achieve my dream.  Since I know these fears detract from my chances, I devote less and less time to achieving it until it's just another memory of something I could never have done.
But what would happen if I abandoned all in order to follow a dream?  Would my devotion somehow will a success?  These are what have haunted my dreams for the past few nights.  Quitting college and working my ass off in order to fulfill a dream seems great while sleeping, but the cold reality hits when I awaken.  So I stay in school and allow myself to hate myself for not trying hard enough.  I'm sure other people go through the same things, but I'm the one whining right now.

And that's another entertaining look into my mind.

Humorous anecdote:

When I sang at the Baptist church a few weeks ago, the preacher was talking about heaven in his sermon.  He was saying that there wouldn't be any doctors in heaven since there would be no sickness.  That means all doctors go to hell.

Good night.

Tomorrow, I leave the state, so I shall not post another entry for a week at the least.  This means that what I post on here tonight will echo for a week.  I expect 1 remark, possibly 2, when I return.  I also expect 4 new friend entries, and a few photos.  No new requests will be made, but I might have a new message or two.  Anyway...

I live in fear of being good enough.  If I am good enough all of my life, I will not excel.  It's one of those "I'd rather be cold than lukewarm."  At least if I were a failure, I would be able to point at a trend and say "This is what I am."  I'd rather meet no requirements than just the minimum.

Anyway, I've got nothing to say.  I don't know why.

If I were to account for everything I had done so far in my life, there would not be much.  I've done a few things here and there, but have I ever truly lived?  Looking at myself, I see all sorts of missed chances and unfulfilled desires.  There are times, such as these, when I have a perspective on life that is conducive to fulfilling such desires, but, as luck would have it, these perspectives do not fit over my entire life, so while I may feel ready to take on the world at 1 am today, I probably won't at 7 when I get up.  And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

So I started writing scripts for the webcomic.  I figure, "Why not?  It'll give some way to divert my mind while allowing me to share experiences of my life with others!"  I've got 20 days worth, which equates to 10 weeks of my original 2/week plan.  Maybe I'll up that.  Probably not.  First things first: gotta get onto some HTML work for a comic site.  I've got a few ideas on how to run it using relatively little space on a few different servers.  We'll see how it goes.

I'm finding through time that there are more and more topics that I once could argue with anyone about for days on end without growing weary.  Nowadays, I can no longer do this on such a wide variety of topics.  It's not that I'm unprepared - I've had more time to do more research and have grown more educated on the topics.  The fact is, the arguments are worthless.  It is fruitless to argue with people.  While one out of every so many billion people may be convinced, it's a good chance that that person is not the one who wants to argue.  They're the ones who want to listen.  So instead of debating, I've been doing more of a monologuous expression of ideas which occur to me.  This leads to no frustration derived of confrontation and a chance to express what I want to express without being sidetracked by other issues.

By the way, I had some brief inspiration today and wrote a little bit of a chapter of a book that shall never be completed.  Read the excerpt anyway and let me know what you think of it.  http://zeal.i8.com is the website, and just click on the "001.doc" link to download.  It's only 3 pages, so that's not bad at all.

About 24 hours ago, I wrote about being a loner and not really being part of society in general.  Since then, I have listened to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack.  I always preferred the Phantom to Raoul.  I always identified with him better than with any other literary character.  Think of it this way - we are both very intelligent; fairly talented in multiple areas; desirous of an impossible, perfect love; shunned by a majority of society because of particularities that don't fit into the general consensus of normality; and reviled by some because of our persistence.  If you read this and wonder about some of the "similarities" just try to remember that you haven't lived my life, so there may be some things you don't know about.

Anyway, the Phantom could have at any time whisked Christine away to his little love nest swan bed, but instead trained her voice, respected her privacy, and worked behind the scenes to benefit her.  Raoul, on the other hand, wooed Christine when they were younger, then pops in from nowhere and carries her away on his little romantic adventure.  Raoul was a punk, whereas the Phantom (referred to hereafter as Erik) was respectful and took his time.  All of the things that Erik did in the work could have been avoided had Raoul not attempted his little sexual coup.  But, no, the irritating aggressive boy caused things to go awry.

Let's shift gears now to Pride and Prejudice, another favorite of mine.  Darcy at one point proclaims his love for Elizabeth, yet she does not believe him.  Darcy, working behind the scenes, ended up hooking Lizzie's sister up with her soulmate, Bingley, and saving the Bennett family from disgrace at the younger sister's elopement.  Darcy also stays behind the scenes, never coming out and saying "Hey, Lizzie-baby!  Lookie at what did!"  Others tell her, also mentioning that they weren't supposed to tell her.  He didn't want her to know; he was happy being able to show his love for her by protecting her family in unseen ways.  Now that's love.

Now, let's mix the two.  ErikDarcy does things for ChristineElizabeth, behind the scenes, to show his love for her, not necessarily to her, but in order to further her in her life.  Then some punk comes in and steals her away.

Now there's a story with which I can identify.