Here is my day:

1. I did laundry
2. I met Marlee and her boyfriend at my church and played all but one of my songs for them.  They enjoyed, but I'm not going too much on their opinions as neither of them is too musically inclined.  It is encouraging, though.
3. Saw a friend on the road and met her at her workplace to hang talk; I haven't seen her in months.
4. Found out that a guy I used to play soccer with died in a car wreck about a week ago.
5. Figured out a nifty, overused chord structure for a new song.  I think this one will be my duet piece I've been wanting to write.  We'll see.

I had this dream a week ago tonight where I had a terminal illness.  Since I was dying anyway, I threw all caution to the wind and enjoyed myself, followed up on opportunities, and just didn't care about embarassment or anything like that.  When I was at church last night, I was just hit with that feeling again, and it's stuck so far.  I've enjoyed myself for the past few days.  I even yelled in one of my songs without blushing - now that is an accomplishment.

Changing gears...

I just got a cool feeling that I haven't felt in over a year.  If anyone reading this has seen Collateral, it's the feeling you're supposed to get in the scene with the coyotes.  It's this feeling of "I'm here, right now, living a life that will never be relived."  It's the feeling I used to get when I was driving home at 2 or 3 in the morning, when there aren't any cars out and you can really think about things.
I have a calling, a purpose, but I don't know what it is.  Just sitting around has never helped me get anywhere, and it's certainly not going to help now.  I've got this urge in me to get out, to do something, but I don't know what to do.  This sucks.