Alright, fine. Job first. My interview was not so much the,

"Well tell me a little about yourself, Sarah. What will make you an asset to my company?"

and more the

"Thanks for coming out today, Sarah. Okay, what I want you to do today is blahblahblah... Christi can show you how."

*Mrs. Singletary leaves*

"Soooo, Christi. Think I got the job?"

"Uhhh... YEAH."

So I am employed. $6 an hour. Screen printing. Cleaning. Babysitting. Hanging out with a ton of good friends. It's all gravy, baby.

Now... Mark says WHAT? He's positively mad, I tell you. Mark [Raider Team CO, my company CO, and the object of my obsession hormonal desire] is setting up a rope bridge for the cadet freshies to play on tomorrow. At the AAR [After Action Review] today, Colonel asked if he wanted anyone specific to be assigned to him.

At first, it made sense. All very active Raiders. All people who had been on the team for years.

Jake Durant, Joseph Barron, and Amber Burgess.

He needed another girl to help the fresh-women to put their swiss seats on. Kristin Michaels [who is one of those hardcore Raider for two years people] volunteered to do it.

Oh, but no.

He says, "Aaaaaand... Vermillion."

*blink blink*

Mark says WHAT?

"Uhhh, honey? I don't know how to do anything with a rope bridge, I'm not on Raiders, remember."

"Then we'll have to teach you, won't we?"

*blink blink*

I don't know a swiss seat from the swiss alps. I am the ONLY person assigned to run the rope bridge tomorrow that is NOT a Raider.

PURE INSANITY, I tell you.

Now, I know what all my friends who want to keep my spirits up are thinking, "Aww, it's just because he likes you and he wants to see what you look like tied up."

But I know better... I know it's one of the following things: a. he's making a last ditch effort to recruit me for Raiders [has been trying for two years - not happening, I am the anti-raider] or b. he is trying to punish me for harassing him and giving him hell all week.

. . . or c. being outdoors all day having to listen to retarted freshmen has rotted the three brain cells he has left and he has gone truly mad.

That's right bitches. ^_^

Sarah's getting employed. Not like most of you aren't already employed or anything, just that... you know. Nobody actually thought I would ever get a job. [Honestly, I didn't either.]

Well, technically I don't have the job yet.

I have an interview at Action Designs tomorrow at 3 PM. I'm going to be beat as all hell and gone, so I'm hoping that Ms. Patty isn't all like "I hate you. Go away. No job for you."

But I've heard she interviews pretty easy. So I should be able to get the job and probably get straight to work right afterwords.


If I get a job there I will get to work with people like the wonderful Megan, Leah, Becky, and Brian. Neato burrito, huh?

SCIZZORE!

I win.

Soooo. Shopping. Not as bad as I thought. Unlike me, my aunt is not ashamed or embarassed or hesitant about anything. She kept saying "What about this? What about that stuff on the walls? We'll get someone to get it down for you."

I hate making the people get stuff off the walls.

But it totally paid off.

And the guy at Pac Sun who got stuff down for me and got me my dressing room was really awesome. He kept checking on me to see if I needed a different size or different color or whatever. Really put me at ease.

You guys... I swear... my shopping anxiety... is INSANE. I really don't see how anyone can find shopping relaxing.

NEWS FLASH: Feel free to call me a commercialist whore. I purchased not one, but three clothing items from American Eagle. Feel free to stone me to death now.

The final count: 2 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of kick-ass kakhis, 2 camisoles, 1 long sleeve shirt, 1 button-down overshirt/blouse/thingy.

This weekend: t-shirts and accessories. I know... the thought of me accessorizing is insane. But I'm going to give it a shot. Hopefully Jane will help me make it not-fugly. [Michacco too if he still wants to go with us.]

ANOTHER NEWS FLASH: I can hear again! Dr. Tuma said that I just managed to cram a bunch of chunks of hard wax up against my eardrum and it was preventing it from vibrating properly. He sprayed it out of my ear with warm water. That was THE MOST PECULIAR sensation in the world. A jet of warm water spraying your eardrum.

I won't tell you the exact details of what got sprayed out, because frankly, earwax is the single most disgusting substance in the known universe.

BUT I CAN HEAR! YAY!

For the first five or ten minutes I kept flinching at any semi-sharp or loud noise because I'd been almost half deaf for three days. I'm very very VERY relieved that there is no permanent damage.

ONE MORE NEWS FLASH: It's official. I'm everyone's favorite in JROTC. Except for Mark's. But that actually makes it kind of hilarious if you ask me.

[[He got kind of ticked off when he was trying to talk to me about what to do with the freshmen this week at mini camp and his ex-girlfriend waltzed over and sat herself right in my lap. *dies laughing* I love Amber.]]

Yeah, yeah, so I purposefully mispelled "the." Bite me.

The biggest problem with shopping? I have to do it to get stuff. Doesn't that suck? I don't mind getting new clothes or shoes or anything - that stuff's all fantastic. [I am a clothes whore, deep down in my heart of hearts.]

I just don't like the pain of realizing that you're a larger size than you thought you were, being too self concious to buy certain kinds of clothes or from certain stores, lusting after awesome clothes in stores that insist on making every size up to the size right below yours, finding stuff that actually fits but looks like crizzap, and just generally SUCKING at shopping.

I'm serious: I need girl lessons. Shopping, hair, makeup: in all of these areas I have either been a massive failure or had somewhat less than mediocre success.

ARGH.

But I've still got to do it sometime this week. Hopefully, with a faithful friend whom I can trust not to let me settle for anything fugly just because I'm discouraged, I can acutally manage to find some cool clothes. Jane has volunteered for this daunting task, bless her heart. I think Michacco is going to assist her. Godspeed to them. Don't be surprised if they come home with suspicious red stains on their hands and clothes and my body is found with shopping bags full of ugly clothes in a dumpster behind the mall.

Soooo yeah. Isn't sucking as much as I thought it would [everyone's still downstairs - minus Brian, Koren, and Becky who couldn't make it.]

We're actually having a good time. Although I'm not sure if there's a contest going on to see who breaks and cries first... I wasn't going to let it be me so I took a few minutes off and came up to my room.

I talked to my Grandpa. Mistake. I've always had an incredible amount of respect for my Grandpa, even if I'm not quite as close to him as I am to Granny. Mom and Vicki were talking about the funny things that Rob would say when he was on medicine that made him angry... Grandpa said [to me],

"I didn't think he would die. Even the morning that he died and Granny came in and said, 'You better go in and say goodbye to him, he's not going be much longer,' I didn't think he would die."

That morning was my Grandpa's 59th birthday.

I couldn't say anything to him without my voice cracking, so I turned around and pretended to listen something my Granny was saying.

My mom brought the photo albums. I'm gonna see if she'll let me borrow them and scan a bunch of the pictures. There's a bunch of me, my brothers, my cousins, aunts, uncles, old friends, relatives who have died. Some damn good pictures. I'll see about getting them on here.

My brother's birthday wasn't on Tuesday, it was on Friday. [Which I found out today.]

For those of you who don't read my xanga - I looked at my calendar on Tuesday and was like, "OMG IT'S ROBBIE'S BIRTHDAY." But it wasn't. Found out from my aunt and my dad today that YESTERDAY was his birthday.

Whoops, my bad. I've never been able to get that kid's birthday right.

Well, my family's coming over for his birthday tomorrow. Gonna be the first time in YEARS that my Dad's family and my mom and her family [which in this case justs consists of my mom's youngest sister - the other two live too far out of town] will have been together in AGES. We're gonna have soup, salad, sandwiches, and such.

We're gonna sit around and talk about Robbie.

I bet you five virtual dollars this is gonna suck.

My Aunt Vicki [Dad's sister] and my Mom have never gotten along. Part of that being that Vicki wishes she were our [mine and my brothers'] mom. And that Vicki got to kind of monopolize on Robbie's time because Mom had two other kids and a job to manage and the place we lived wasn't a healthy enough environment for Robbie to live with us.
[At the time we lived with my former step-father's parents and they had lots of animals and chain smoked constantly.]

Not to mention that it's just generally awkward.

Hell, it already sucks. I'm having to clean my ass off because these people are coming over tomorrow. And for some reason I can't get UN-TIRED so my ass has been dragging like you wouldn't believe. Must have taken me two hours to clean my bathroom.

Not to mention that mini camp starts next week and I can't quit thinking about it. . . God grant me the strength to not kill the people I cannot stand... the serenity to accept them for their sheer annoyingness... and the wisdom to know where to hide the bloody murder weapons [if the strength and the serenity don't work].

Bruce has cancer of the air compressor.

Hence, why my air conditioning decided to die [86% die anyways] in the hottest week of summer.

It costs about $1000 to replace the air compressor. Yeah, that's the right number of zeros.

That's how much we paid for the CAR.

My dad is ACTUALLY thinking about buying me another car.

He's also thinking about calling out a hit man on Phillip, the guy who sold us the car. The guy who assured us that the air conditioner worked just fine and just needed a freyon refill.

Crazy, crazy man.

*groan*

What if...

Oh lordy.

I just need to sleep on it and it'll be all better, right?

I swear, I'm happy about it.

Just... does it have to be such a mixed blessing?

[[HAHA! OBSERVE MY SUPER-POWERS OF VAGUENESS!!!]]

I saw this missing person report on my aunt's LJ. She dissappeared near Philidelphia, but that doesn't mean that she couldn't be somewhere around here.

Latoyia Figueroa, a 24-year-old pregnant mother of one has been missing since July 18.

On rare occasions* I will look at something I've written and think, "Hey, that's actually kind of clever."

And then I feel obliged to share it with you. Here you go:

"Angry xanga comments are about as equally effective as evangelistic bumper stickers."

Voila. Have a nice day!

*For some reason, my brain doesn't think this word is spelled right. To be honest, I don't really know. I'm a little sleep deprived and for all I know it could be something completely different than the word I intended to type. :p

OH, JESUS MUST LOVE YOU!

THAT WAS THE CRAZIEST MESS I'VE EVER SEEN!

COME ON, GIRL! I KNOW JESUS LOVES YOU!!!

Oh my word... *cries*

Don't belive the reviews. That movie is amazing. I saw in movie news that The Island bombed it's opening weekend and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory dominated again.

Trust me, this movie kicks Charlie's ass to the curb of next wednesday. And that's coming from a Burton / Depp fan. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johanson (did I spell her name right?) were absolutely fantastic.

I was pleasantly surprised - it was a LOT better than I thought it would be. And I was UNpleasantly surprised by the fact that it was 2.5 hours long... but that was only a problem because I had to pee... real bad.

Know what else made my day? Eating lunch with Jordan at Far East. Seeing Michael and Jamie and Carlton at the mall. Helping Jordan find John Lennon sunglasses at Target to match his new beard. Hanging with Cassie during the movie and afterwards at Logan's and after that at Eckerds [Tipton was working so we went to harrass him - that made my day too], and after that just cruising around town.

Sooo... pretty sure today was just a big bouncy ball of awesomeness. ^_^

Ciao, my darlings.

::edit::
And of course... I added a whole bunch of photos. Most of them are in fact, comic strips from my favorite webistes or LiveJournal icons. This would be because Sarah has no digital camera or scanner so she puts up crap that no one wants to see just so she can feel like she's not a total loser. :p Comment on them anyways!

Time for another lesson in life equations, boys and girls! Today's lesson is:

big toe + vaccum cleaner = BAD

For example, after I picked up the vacuum cleaner so the dusting hose could reach the back of the shelf, I [with my crippling spectrum-kid intellect] set the vacuum cleaner down on my right big toe. [For those of you who don't know, the brush still spins even when the hose is being used.]

Luckily, I escaped with my life and the only injuries I recieved were a small blood blister, a chipped toenail, and a great deal of soreness in the right-big-toe region of my body.

If I had not acted quickly and removed the vacuum from my toe as soon as I felt pain, I may have lost my entire toe - or perhaps my life! Even if I did survive the vacuum cleaner ripping my big toe off, I'd still have to relearn how to walk and never be able to wear flip flops again. You don't want to have to relearn to walk and to never be able to walk again, now do you, boys and girls?

So what might the moral to this story be? Hmm? Anyone?

Never clean your house. If you do - you will lose a toe, never be able to wear flip flops again, and die a slow, horrible, painful death.

---
Yay! Now my right big toe matches my left big toe [which I attempted to remove forcibly from my body with the clever use of running, flip flops, and asphalt not but three days ago.]

It always has something that reminds me of my friends.

Or myself, in this case. :p



Seriously, I laughed for about a minute straight.

::edit::

HOLY CRAP.

I am the worst friend. EVER.

Stephen's party... has been going on for at least an hour and a half... I totally forgot about it. DAMMIT.

I can't go now. My dad wants to turn our living room around. DAMNDAMNDAMNDAMN [etc., etc.]

::/edit::

Why aren't I asleep?

Why isn't my room clean? Why isn't my bathroom clean either?

Why isn't my summer homework done?

Why can't I just quit this stupid soda stuff?

The answers to these question and more... later today!

Okay, see all that stuff? [[points down]]

Scratch that.

See, told you I'm not a wallower. ;-)

Wound up being a very good thing that my dad and I didn't go to the concert - we were both in much better moods for it.

We wound up meeting Jane and Tara out at the movie theater, my dad wasn't feeling well so I hung back with them. [I did manage to injure my left big toe around this point in time. It hurts!] We ran back to Jane's, got Tara's siblings, and dragged them back to the theater. The doors were totally locked by the time we got there. And they totally let us in anyways. For free.

While Jane, Tara, and the munchkins went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I went off to see Batman Begins because I'm pretty sure that today was the last day of its theater run.

In the last 20 minutes of the movie, Michael came in to join me and he supplied me with a ride home after the movie was over (Jane and Tara had to take the munchkins back to Jane's after their movie was over). Pretty sure we were the last two customers to leave the theater.

I finally managed to get all of Tara's clothes back to her. Yay!

But she's leaving tomorrow. BOO!

Overall, my day didn't turn out too bad. Even if I did kind of suck at life today, at least I ended on a good note. ^_^

I think that sufficiently covers it.

I won't go on too long of a rant, because I can't stand it when people wallow. And even though I still do it on occasion, I don't like being a hippocrite.

Some of my more recent problems [in short]:

• I have ruddy skin.
  
• The object of my obsession affection is a dingbat.
  
• I lost count of the number of times today that I ran my car over a curb or accidentally almost caused it bodily harm.
  
• I have given myself at least 3 large bruises in the past week. Not from anything athletic or amazing - more like from walking into furniture and walls and such.
  
• I haven't done any of my summer homework.
  
• My friends don't like each other. Sometimes I wonder if I like them either.
  
• I am so incompetent of a [female] human being that I can neither comprehend nor execute the proper operation of simple objects such as a blow dryer, a hair clip, or an eyeliner pencil.
  
• I did not keep the promise I made to myself at the beginning of the summer - about quitting sodas, working out, getting a job, any of it.
  
• I'm not patient.
  
• At times I'm not very compassionate either.
  
• I get terribly upset about the stupidest things.
  
• I'm missing a really good band tonight. Because I'm currently too much of a bitch to enjoy myself and have a good time.
  

Well... that's not really short. But it's shorter than the paragraph-for-every-bullet long entry I could have written.

I totally just stayed out 'till 1:30 AM with my mom.

That's pretty damn cool, if you ask me.

Had a good day today. How 'bout you?

Dad and Vicki are done with the wine tasting.

Do I really have to go pick them up?

Can't I just leave them on the other side of town?

PLEASE?

I don't want to be around people right now. I want to have the house to myself. I don't even want my dad roaming around downstairs.

Why am I so tired and cranky today?

It is rather lame, if I do say so myself.

Holy crizzap, you guys.

First of all.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:. Oompa-loompa songs = RAAAAAH! That was awesome. Know what else was awesome? I totally talked Mark into going to see it with me and Tara. He brought Joseph too. Despite the fact that they're [Mark and Joseph] retarted - it was really fun.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Thank you, JKR. Please, rub a little more salt and lemon juice into my wounds, won't you?

Have any of you finished it? I feel stupid. I totally should have been able to guess who the "Prince" was. And do any of you know who "R.A.B." is?

I DO. I don't know how it occurred to me, I stared at the initials for about 5 mintues straight and then - I dropped the book.

Bitch, PLEASE. I know they just didn't... O-M-G.

Lemme know if you've finished the book... we'll talk. Maybe I'll even divulge my little R.A.B. secret to you. [[wink]]

To whatever higher power out there that is responsible for this... THANK YOU.

No seriously, it made my day. My week, even.

Hah... unfortunately there is still a chance for it to be severely unmade.

Lets hope it goes well.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**wink wink wink**

Yeah, Cassie - I'm serious.

::edit::

Nevermind.

Algebra is Satan. Well, today it is anyways.

He has to go tutor a friend who's not doing well in algebra. So none of that lovely stuff *points up*. But I did something totally awesome.

In the middle of our last phone conversation, he said, "I'll see you later."

And I said, "No. Don't tell me that you'll 'see me later' when I don't even know when you're NOT working. When are you next NOT working?"

I mean, I got all firm and forceful and everything. I was like... You are not making plans with me and then not rescheduling them, BITCH.

Haha... still need to name that street after him.

Anyways - looks like we've got one more for Fazoli's next Tuesday. ^_^

I win.
Even though algebra says I lose.
I made myself win anyways.