Time for another lesson in life equations, boys and girls! Today's lesson is:

big toe + vaccum cleaner = BAD

For example, after I picked up the vacuum cleaner so the dusting hose could reach the back of the shelf, I [with my crippling spectrum-kid intellect] set the vacuum cleaner down on my right big toe. [For those of you who don't know, the brush still spins even when the hose is being used.]

Luckily, I escaped with my life and the only injuries I recieved were a small blood blister, a chipped toenail, and a great deal of soreness in the right-big-toe region of my body.

If I had not acted quickly and removed the vacuum from my toe as soon as I felt pain, I may have lost my entire toe - or perhaps my life! Even if I did survive the vacuum cleaner ripping my big toe off, I'd still have to relearn how to walk and never be able to wear flip flops again. You don't want to have to relearn to walk and to never be able to walk again, now do you, boys and girls?

So what might the moral to this story be? Hmm? Anyone?

Never clean your house. If you do - you will lose a toe, never be able to wear flip flops again, and die a slow, horrible, painful death.

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Yay! Now my right big toe matches my left big toe [which I attempted to remove forcibly from my body with the clever use of running, flip flops, and asphalt not but three days ago.]