dear phusebox...

dear phusebox:

i am cheating on you with Facebook. it's not that i don't love you; you were my first love. but i just feel that i am in a place in my life where i need to branch out and meet other people...so let's just be friends, ok? thanks, babe...

   love, Cari

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i was hopin' the train was my big number...

so wow. All-State was last Thursday-Saturday, and it was freakin amazing. i couldn't believe how much fun i had! granted, i thought my legs were going to have to be amputated, but it was worth it! firstly, our conductor, Dr. Snow, was fantastic. she was one of the nicest women i've ever met. secondly, everyone was really awesome, especially the Siegel kids i met. i honestly thought that i would end up hating them, but they were all so much fun! (although apparently, i am quite the harlot for going to get ice cream with two guys at night....ha.) but yeah. we got to go see the symphony at the Schermerhorn, along with other performances like that, and to top it all off, we got to do our big performance in the Schermerhorn as well! Let me tell you, it was amazing! The acoustics were out of this world, and our choir definitely sounded the best! (not that i'm biased or anything...) i mean, like, we got a standing ovation in the middle of our performance!

anyways. yeah. things are kind tough right now, and i realize that a lot of it is my own doing, but that doesn't really make it suck less. but governor's school is like, 6 or 7 weeks away, which is definitely a good thing. also, i have my voice recital coming up on May 3rd! yay rah! i'm singing two songs from Wicked, and i hope that they'll be ok. also, i found out yesterday that i have to go to the Awards Banquet for some award, but i don't know what it's for...weird.

so right now i'm in the process of attempting to break away from an extremely deep friendship, but i'm not really telling anybody (at least not anybody who would tell him...i think...) because i just want to quietly break away. but the whole thing is rather excruciating to think about, because i know how much i am going to miss him. i honestly love him so much, and i'm not sure what i'm gonna do without him next year. maybe things will change. but probably not, and that means that i'll probably have to be best-friend-less again next year. but that's ok. i feel like this is something that God is calling me to do. i just want to do it right this time around. this friendship has been affecting me mentally and spiritually for much too long, and it is time to put an end to all the internal warfare. but i have faith that if God takes him away, He will bring someone/something else along to fill that void. anyways, i have to go to bed, so i'll post more later. goodnight everyone! much love---Cari  

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Yo soy uno, y tu tambien, por eso alabamos al Senor.

so. life is good, and pretty much the same as always. no boys, lots of work, but plenty of Jesus to make up for the things that stink. i just started the coolest devotional that i found in our computer desk. it is truly amazing.

When you know that God doesn't want you to do something, and yet you want it so bad, it makes for a very interesting situation. This boy...gracious. I love him so much, but I love Him more. I know that he is not God's best for me, and I believe that if i am patient, God will bring me someone. (Or He might not bring me anyone, and that's ok, too.) I just have to keep believing that something else will come along, and I tell myself that I can't give in and do what I want. But God has been so faithful to fill up that void for now. And the cool part is, the closer i get to Him, the less i feel as though i need "him". But it still doesn't make it any easier to be around him.

Nayways, other than that, life is peachy. School is almost over, thank goodness, and i have yet to fail chemistry, so that's a plus. I made an 84 out of 90 on my Free Response (i'm thinkin only APUSH kids know what i'm talking about), and things are, as i said, peachy.

but on a more depressing note, i really miss Bruce lately. I just can't believe how much i've grown up since he died, and i often find myself wondering what he'd be like if he had grown up with us. i miss his friendship, and how he was always there for me. I miss our deep conversations, and i miss him telling me about his walk with Christ. It's been a long time since i've had a conversation with a friend about that. i wish that William and I actually agreed about anything. but we don't, and that's ok for now. the arguing just makes things hard. i swear, if people didn't know us they would think that we were married because of how much we fight. it's a bit ridiculous. anyways. i'll stop boring anyone who actually reads this. much love to you all---Cari

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One Nation Under Whom?

so, i have been meaning to post this for forever...i wrote this at the beginning of the year for English class, and though there are some rough spots, i really liked it. i hope you all will read it, though it is a bit long. let me know your opinions! thanks  and much love to you all!!!--Cari

                               One Nation Under Whom?

       Throughout the ages, religion has been an essential part of the human race. It gives us hope and a sense of purpose. Even if one does not identify with any sort of conventional religion, in the United States, he or she is not penalized for or prevented from practicing (or not practicing) it. In this country especially, religion is an integral part of our history. To exclude it from our lives and culture would truly be a tragedy.

               Most people, excepting sociopaths, have a conscience. This conscience tells one what is right and what is not, and also helps to define those situations which are not so black and white. Was this conscience created only to be left alone to its own devices? I think not. This instinctive moral code is found in almost every religion, especially Christianity, which was the impetus that compelled the English separatists to settle this nation, and the foundation from which it drew its ideas and system of government.

               The tenets of almost every religion emphasize doing right, i.e. the Ten Commandments and the Jewish Talmud, therefore it is ridiculous to say that including and/or incorporating religion into schools, government, or anywhere else is dangerous. Granted, there will always be those who use their religion as an excuse to hate, and even to enact violence on others who do not agree with their beliefs. But those actions of small sects of radicals do not justify the complete removal of a pillar of our society.

                In response to a critic, Thomas Jefferson once said, "Among the most inestimable of our blessings, also, is that…of liberty to worship our Creator in the way we think most agreeable to His will; a liberty deemed by other countries incompatible with good government and yet proved by our experience to be its best support." This statement was reflected in the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which provides citizens with freedom of religion, among other freedoms. This country was formed on the foundation of Christianity, a religion highly compatible with the ideals of democratic government, as it values sacrifice, selflessness, peace, and high moral character, among other such noble qualities. Christianity also respects free will, and, while it doesn't accept other religions as absolute truth, does not advocate the persecution, coercing, or killing of those who do not agree with its theology. How does one consider a religion which urges one to "turn the other cheek" to be violent and threatening?

                If anything, incorporating religion into schools and government strengthens tolerance. It is when one is shut off from learning about other beliefs that intolerance is bred. By telling our nation's children that they are not free to practice their beliefs, people are creating within their highly impressionable minds confusion and eventually contempt, which in turn could result in a downward spiral, leading to the downfall of this country. I am by no means advocating a theocracy, because many leaders have used theocracy as a weapon. As the saying goes, absolute power corrupts absolutely. But a line must be drawn somewhere. The American government, as well as the American people, seems to have developed a phobia of offending others. If the Whigs had not "offended" King George III and Parliament, there would not be a United States of America as we know it. It also seems as though it is acceptable to offend certain groups, while tip-toeing around others, an example being Christians. People complain that they are offended by the inclusion of the words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, and millions speak out in agreement and angrily protest. And yet, last week, when I was called "ignorant and small-minded" because of some of my beliefs, I heard no rallying cry of support. No one stood up and came to my defense. This person was considered "brave" for calling me out on my intolerance, while, in truth, only showing their own. When did such hypocrisy become an admired quality? The day that we become what we claim to hate most is the day when we lose our souls. America has truly become the prodigal son.

                Some have also complained that they have had religion shoved down their throats and argue, therefore, that an absence of religion would be the best solution for America. But this idea itself is backward and utterly hypocritical. For one thing, a complete and total absence of religious belief/the belief that there is no God is a religion called atheism. Secondly, imposing this religion on those who are otherwise affiliated would be equally as unjust. Thirdly, the opinions of the loudest mouths are not necessarily the consensus view. We should not allow ourselves to be bullied by a whiny minority. In a time where the fool speaks loudest, it is utterly wrong to not stand up and fight for what is right. Some of the main problems with this nation are the lack of accountability and the lack of bold men and women who will stand up and speak out against what they know to be incorrect. What is going to have to happen before we realize how far we have fallen? The people of our nation are actually listening to quixotic babblers who have nothing aside from their own interests in mind. How is that people have become so milquetoast in their pursuit for truth and justice? In the words of William Butler Yeats, "The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity."

              I do not fear, because I believe that this world, this nation belongs to the One who is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. However, I will not insult people's intelligence with some Panglossian fluff. History is cyclical, and if we do not learn from it, it is destined to repeat itself. There are those who are slowly but surely trying to expel God from every facet of this nation, and the day that they succeed is not a day that I will want to see. Nowhere is it written that America is invincible or that our present way of life is permanent. Our nation is frighteningly comparable with ancient Rome, with our increasing appetite for violence, the overwhelming sensuality and perversity, and the pervasive materialism. I hope that this nation will learn from Rome's rejection of God and never forget, "For heathen heart that puts her trust in reeking tube and iron shard--- All valiant dust that builds on dust, And guarding calls not Thee to guard. For frantic boast and foolish word, Thy Mercy on Thy People, Lord!" (Rudyard Kipling).

              In conclusion, I do believe that all of this was well summarized by Ralph Waldo Emerson when he said, "A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming."  

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i don't know what it is...

so guys. how ya'll is? life is good as usual! i am currently babysitting my favorite kids in all the world! the thompson 4 are so unbelieveably amazing!

tomorrow is formal!!!!!!! woohoo! i can't wait.. michael and i are going to look so cute!

lemme tell ya...some times people make it hard for me not to like them. but that's ok. i'll never tell him again because i don't want our friendship to go the way that it did last time. i know it sounds funny, but it's like i love him too much to tell him so. but man....if he decided to be Baptist, ooh girl....we would be gettin married!!! ha. j/k. well, Clayton's screaming at me, so i guess i better go! much love--Cari

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