Don't Forget to Look Up.

November 09, 2006

A while back I wrote (on facebook) that I hadn’t found good sushi in New York yet, and I guess somewhere in the back on my mind I didn’t want to find good sushi.  You see, I love sushi in Murfreesboro.  I love going to Sakura with my dad and my sister (and sometimes Bethany and Jonathan and Matt) and getting the Las Vegas and Yum Yum Rolls.  I love the good conversation and the familiarity.  Good sushi = home and comfort; bad sushi = not home and discomfort. So I’ve only half-heartedly looked.

The last few weeks - months if I'm really honest- of my life have been a series of uncertainties mixed with a heavy dose of discontentment.  I have realized (again) how terrible I am at committing myself to anything for longer than a year.  It almost killed me just to get through college, and the last 2 years I traveled around most of the southeast just to escape.  And then I moved to China and then I moved back home and taught 8^th grade and then moved here.  One day a friend called me and asked me what exactly I was running from.  I’m sure I made up some excuse or probably attempted to justify my actions, but she was right.  I was running.

I guess, in a way, I’ve always been running.  I’m not sure what from – I’ve got a great family, the world’s best friends, a fantastic home church, etc.  To some girls (especially single 25-year-old girls) settling down is crucial.  And yes, one day soon I’ll probably want that.  But I’ll be the first to admit, the idea of doing the same thing every day for the rest of my life scares me.  And that’s not to say that owning a house and having a career and (yikes!) getting married means the adventures stop – I know this is totally untrue.  I just think I have a fear of monotony. I am a classic escapist.

I’ve known this for a long time, but haven’t really known what to do about it.  I’ve always been one to focus on what’s next, what adventure God’s going to bring me (or send me on) after this one.  While that’s not inherently bad, I forget to enjoy the moment.  I focus on the future so I don't have to think about the present. Some days I get so consumed with my job and my life (that’s surprisingly monotonous – oh, the irony) that I forget where I am.  I forget to look up.  I forget to be grateful that I got exactly what I asked for and I need to enjoy my stay in New York City while it lasts.

This morning I woke up and felt something was different – I was happy to be alive and happy to go to work.  I walked up the stairs from the subway and I just stopped.  Surrounded by metal and tall buildings and hordes of people with their own agendas, I was overjoyed.

 

“Be here now,” He whispered.

 

Today at work we ordered sushi for lunch.  And it was incredible.

Untitled

September 09, 2006My best friend is getting married today.             

small update...

July 28, 20061.  I got a job.  Actually, I got 2 jobs.  I'll be a Sales Assistant at HGTV, and (if I don't quit) I'll be working part time (weekends) at Banana Republic!

2.  I'm going home this weekend!  I am so excited!  Not that I don't love it here, but HOME!  Hopefully I'll see some of you at church.

3.  I really love Jesus.  Not an update, but I just wanted you to know.        

hey, Youth...

July 03, 2006who's coming up here next week?        

They don't call it the Big Apple...it's "THE CITY"

June 23, 2006This is the email i sent out earlier today:

So several people have asked if I was planning on doing updates from
NYC like I did when I was in China...i really hadn't thought about it,
but figured it would be a good idea.  if you don't want to read them,
let me know...but i can assure you they won't be sent too often, so ya
might as well, right?  Right.


Anyway, this past week has been good.  I need a job, for
survival reasons of course, but more so because I'm bored.  I'm not
skilled at sitting around the house.  Free time hasn't been this easy
to find in a long time.  I think I've read 6 books...maybe 10...I've
lost count!


I'm living on the upper west side (sounds swanky, huh?!) with
my friends maria and ellie, but this is just a temporary situation.  at
the end of july maria is moving out, ellie is moving to back to TN, and
i...don't know yet.  i've heard that you shouldn't start looking for an
apartment until 2 weeks before you need it because they go so fast
here...so i'm trying not to jump the gun. 

As far as a job...i had an interview this morning and i think
it went well, but you never know.  it was for an administrative
position assisting the president and the general manager of a company
that makes documentary films on education issues...mostly k-12 schools.
sounds like a good job for me...but again, we'll see.  i'll keep you
posted.


last weekend i got to play tourist (because i still feel like
one) and we went to the east village, soho, and noho.  i really like
that area.  last night a friend and i went to the upright citizen's
brigade theatre to see a show called "we used to go out" which was
hilarious.  it was a fun night in the city, and i was (still am)
grateful to be here.


the next few weeks will consist of diligently searching for a job and learning my way around this giant place! 

prayer is needed and much appreciated...here are some specifics:
- job and apartment (obviously)

- current living situation - 3 people in a 2 bedroom can be
difficult - it isn't yet, but there's always the possibility, so let's
pray that we will be wise with our words and actions.
- The Gallery
Church, the church where maria and ellie work and i am now attending -
it's a chuch plant.  pray that people will get and stay involved, that
the staff/team there will be encourged, and for the 7 (SEVEN!) interns
from all over the country who are here until the end of July.


...and i think that's it.  thanks for reading!



P.S. After i wrote and sent this, I got a job interview with HGTV and I'm REALLY excited!  Keep me in your prayers on Tuesday!