elizabeth duncan

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Don't Forget to Look Up.

November 09 2006

A while back I wrote (on facebook) that I hadn’t found good sushi in New York yet, and I guess somewhere in the back on my mind I didn’t want to find good sushi.  You see, I love sushi in Murfreesboro.  I love going to Sakura with my dad and my sister (and sometimes Bethany and Jonathan and Matt) and getting the Las Vegas and Yum Yum Rolls.  I love the good conversation and the familiarity.  Good sushi = home and comfort; bad sushi = not home and discomfort. So I’ve only half-heartedly looked.


The last few weeks - months if I'm really honest- of my life have been a series of uncertainties mixed with a heavy dose of discontentment.  I have realized (again) how terrible I am at committing myself to anything for longer than a year.  It almost killed me just to get through college, and the last 2 years I traveled around most of the southeast just to escape.  And then I moved to China and then I moved back home and taught 8th grade and then moved here.  One day a friend called me and asked me what exactly I was running from.  I’m sure I made up some excuse or probably attempted to justify my actions, but she was right.  I was running.



I guess, in a way, I’ve always been running.  I’m not sure what from – I’ve got a great family, the world’s best friends, a fantastic home church, etc.  To some girls (especially single 25-year-old girls) settling down is crucial.  And yes, one day soon I’ll probably want that.  But I’ll be the first to admit, the idea of doing the same thing every day for the rest of my life scares me.  And that’s not to say that owning a house and having a career and (yikes!) getting married means the adventures stop – I know this is totally untrue.  I just think I have a fear of monotony. I am a classic escapist.



I’ve known this for a long time, but haven’t really known what to do about it.  I’ve always been one to focus on what’s next, what adventure God’s going to bring me (or send me on) after this one.  While that’s not inherently bad, I forget to enjoy the moment.  I focus on the future so I don't have to think about the present. Some days I get so consumed with my job and my life (that’s surprisingly monotonous – oh, the irony) that I forget where I am.  I forget to look up.  I forget to be grateful that I got exactly what I asked for and I need to enjoy my stay in New York City while it lasts.


This morning I woke up and felt something was different – I was happy to be alive and happy to go to work.  I walked up the stairs from the subway and I just stopped.  Surrounded by metal and tall buildings and hordes of people with their own agendas, I was overjoyed.



 


“Be here now,” He whispered.



 


Today at work we ordered sushi for lunch.  And it was incredible.


Ben Moser

November 09 2006
Elizabeth Duncan I love you! I love self-realization posts!

the brian king kenobi

November 09 2006
i really needed to read this . . . i think we are similar in many respects. :)

Amy

November 09 2006
Such good thoughts - thanks for sharing!

Nathan Moore

November 09 2006
yes... great post... and I know how you feel.

Rachael Moore

November 09 2006
awesome. i love how God works... and how your life and your search for good sushi can come together. i miss you

Sarah

November 10 2006
that's an awesome post. it sounds like something you could read in a magazine or something. anyway, i miss you friend and i'm glad to hear you're doing well!

Christina

November 11 2006
Iron deficiancy due to blood loss from a bad cut I got, I think. Really good post, by the way!

the brian king kenobi

November 18 2006
i was in the front on the floor, maybe 5 feet away from the stage.

Garrett Haynes

January 15 2007
everybody has told me red rocks. so what's red rocks?

Christina

January 31 2007
Me too, it's so much fun!

the brian king kenobi

February 11 2007
i suppose we could be friends. it would give you a chance to finally get me my pizza. ;)

Amy

March 02 2007
Thanks Elizabeth; see you in a few days!

Ben Moser

March 19 2007
LIZ. I'm sad we didn't get to hang out. I hope you have a very positive and eventful day tomorrow!

Garrett Haynes

December 15 2007
amazing isn't it? I recently just wrote a paper about those same issues, using that article as my primary source.