Holy Cow why does everything have to be confusing, complicated, and turn out all wierd and junk? And why can't I just be normal and find a guy in this state who will actually tell me what's going on? Why do I chicken out every time I go to tell him how I feel?

I can't sleep, too confused. Look like hell, cause I don't sleep. I'm going crazy, and I hate it. And it's all your fault. ~points to a guy in a different state, who shall remain nameless~ But then I can't really blame you at all, well maybe just a little bit. The blame rests with me cause I am a moron sometimes and a big fat chicken.

It hurts to feel like this. It drives me out of my mind. If I could just close my eyes and open them and you'd be here, then I'd feel better. I'd be happy. But I can't. If I could just see your face, not in the pictures, but really see you. Maybe then I'd be o.k. If I could just be there with you or have you here, then I'd be alright again. I miss you more and more each day.

You left so many questions unanswered, that's why I'm confused. We parted with a kiss and a promise not to lose touch and that it wasn't forever. What were we then? What are we now? What's going on between us? Do we pick up where we left off or have things changed? Do you know how I feel or have you forgotten? Are we just friends or is there something more?

Odd how I write these things as if I'm talking to him, but it's just an entry in my blog. Crazy cause I can't say things but I can write them.

Forever yours, Lucky

Well my Rho Sigma just called me and I got dropped by both of the sororities I had left. I know it sounds dumb to be upset, but I spent $35, and missed doing something with my friends on my birthday, all so they could decide they didn't want me. It sucks. It was fun getting to know the girls from my group, but I feel like it was a waste. I was so excited and so hopeful and getting that call was a big let down. It shouldn't be a big deal, but it still irks me that that I wasted my time. I'm not rushing next year, there's no point. I'll just stick to mock trial and theatre, and anything else I can do.

Forever yours, Lucky

Was o.k. The morning rocked cause breakfast with the other half of my brain is always fun. Besides that her present was amazing. I'll get a picture of it up as soon as I can. Recruitment was not as much fun cause I missed most of it. Today should be better.

Forever yours, Lucky

If that title made any sense then you are one of the people who really knows me.

Because you are not around I can't bring myself to put the shiny pants on and wear them out in public. I can't even look at them without thinking about you. I put them on and I become the attractive me, the less shy me, but I take them off because it hurts to know that you cannot see them. They were your favorite pants for me to wear and now you are over 1400 miles away. I hurts to think about the fact that you are not around.

You gave me roses for Prom and won both my heart and the approval of most of my family. They made me smile because they were a gift from you. You brought me roses that bloomed out bigger than my fist for graduation and ran away with my heart. I took so many pictures of those roses that it wasn't funny because I didn't want to forget what they looked like. And though the flowers wilted eventually the happiness and pictures never does.

You gave me a bear at Prom and made me laugh, not much, but a little. It had been a long time since anyone had done something like that. You gave me one just randomly that you came to my house to give. You gave me a bear for graduation you even sprayed it with Kilo cause I told you that you smelled good, and so I'd have it to remember you by when you moved. That bear is the most special and when ever I feel lost or miss you, though the smell has faded, I can hug that bear and remember.

But better than the roses and better than the bear are the other gifts you gave me. You made Prom amazing, with out you it wouldn't have been the same. You made me smile and laugh even when I was crying. You made me feel like I was special. The happiness you gave me was one in a million and the best gift in the world.

Forever yours, Lucky

Yayness I'm 18.

Forever yours, Lucky

"Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you." Baby, Dirty Dancing.

I love this quote cause I love that movie. It means something to me cause I'm scared like that too. Especially that last part. There are people who will know what I mean and people who won't. I'm tired and I'm going to bed.

One day till my birthday.

Forever yours, Lucky

This is me and my cousin. We used to be almost sisters, but things are really wierd right now. Family issues suck. ~sigh~ I'm not going there either. Just thought I'd do a little explaining of my pictures.

Forever yours, Lucky

This is me and a bear that my best guy friend in the whole world gave me. Well maybe more than friend, but I'm not going there right now. ~shrugs~ It used to smell like him cause he sprayed it with Kilo, but I hug it when I miss him and the smell has faded.

Forever yours, Lucky

Hey look I joined Phusebox. Jenna mentioned it and I thought it looked cool and so now in addition to being Lucky_charm_girl on xanga I am Lucky_charm here. Whoot.

Well I'm bored and thought that I'd make a start. I guess since I can't think of much to write(type) I'll do an about me entry for those of you who don't know me, but might or have run across my blog, and for those of you who think you know me. LOL. I'm also doing this to remind myself of who I really am. Because sometimes in the mix of things you forget.

Name: Laura Nicole Roehrich
What people call me: Nicole, Laura, Chick, Love, Darling, Lucky, that one girl from class, that one girl that was in that one play, other random stuff.
Age: I'll be eighteen in one day
What I look like: This is a matter of opinion. Some people think I'm attractive and some people think I'm ugly. I'll give you what I see when I look in the mirror. Beware I'm not the kind of girl who thinks she's pretty. When I look in the mirror I see a girl who is not quite tall but not quite short. I'm chunky and sort of heavily built, that is to say I'm not slender. I have hazel eyes and short brownish, blondish, reddish hair. I look like the country farm girl I pretty much am. I'm not what most guys call pretty or attractive, I'm sort of plain except when I wear the shiny pants.
What I sound like: I've got a really bad southern country accent, which, in the interest of people understanding me, I try to curb.
What I'm Like: I'm sort of quiet and keep to myself, except when I'm with great friends. I can be loud and slightly nuts. I hide a slightly corrupted sense of humor and personality behind as innocent country girl. Occasionally I can get sort of giggly and can be an idiot.
What I like: I love chocolate, cheesy romantic love songs, dancing, music, manga, anime, books, the smell of a new script when you first open it, chocolate chip cookies, cheesecake, writing poetry, acting, movies, the smell of Kilo (but only when a certain person is wearing it), singing (I'm not great but I don't care), a million other things.
What I don't like and things that get on my nerves: People who talk about things they don't know anything about, people who judge others by the way they look or talk, too many commercials in my movies and on the radio, when they cut the best lines out of movies, when they cut off the ending of my favorite songs on the radio with a commercial, when they cover up the awesome song in the credits of a movie with info on the next one. There's other stuff, but that's enough about unpleasant things.
The whole point of this was: to remind myself of who I was, but it didn't work really.

There are times when I stand in front of my mirror and wonder who the heck am I. It's like the girl I see can't be me because I wouldn't think like this. I wouldn't worry like this, but I do. Sometimes I just forget that there's another part of me.

Forever Yours, Lucky