Since I couldn't be with him, I sent him an email and ate chocolate in his honor. Hey I broke my diet and everything.

So anyway Happy Birthday to the one I love.

"Secrets make friends, so we're keeping this one." Nick Lee
"Yes but secrets also make timekeepers, Nicole." Jason Walker

Nick made a joke about Jason at Dr. Viles Saturday night and I laughed. But then Jason wanted to know and I wouldn't tell him so he threatened to make me timekeeper. Mean Jason.

"Duckets" Nick Lee

I find the word duckets rather funny. Nick kept saying it and getting everyone else to say it, just so that I would giggle.

I've been talkin' to Mindy, who does my hair at Tangerine, and I'm thinking of going even redder hair color wise. My hair has a natural red cast to it, and so it will eventually go totally red. Blame it on my Irish roots. Mindy has found a really good color that is close to my natural coppery red. So what do y'all think?

 

For those of you who haven't heard about this, I'll explain. John Kerry made the following remark in a speech he was giving to a group of students in California: "You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

"I'm Santa Claus." Patrick Chinnery, one of the Mock Trial coaches.

I was in Kroger tonight getting some stuff for dinner and... well... I came rather close to tackling a guy I thought was someone I knew. OK to be honest I almost tackled this guy because I thought he was Kenny. I totally forgot that Kenny is in VA and not here. First let me say that I had reasons that make sense to a slight degree. I was in the chip aisle, and I suddenly smelled Kilo, like the way he smells when he wears Kilo. Jenna will so tell you how I am about Kilo. Anyway that smell caused me to start looking around to find where it was coming from. The I spotted this guy who from the back looked a lot like Kenny, I mean he was wearing this awful green Vols hat that looked like the one I hate that Kenny wears. Again ask Jenna about how much I hate that ugly hat. This was compounded by the fact I was in Kroger. So being the goofy idiot I am I decide I'll tackle him and see what happens. Needless to say it was a good thing something reminded me that Kenny is in VA at the moment and that the guy started to talk, I knew immediately without looking he wasn't Kenny when he opened his mouth. And so I walked away feeling really dumb and wondering just what is wrong with me sometimes.

So we were cleaning out our garage and putting all my dad's transmissions, cases, crankshafts, etc on racks that a friend gave us and I came across this bumper sticker that is ridiculously true in our family. It said "We interrupt this marraige to bring you racing season." Which pretty much means that during racing season my dad is off at the track with the Nitroplate Team just about every weekend. Second thing that happened was later when I was carrying the transmission cases in from the driveway and I wasn't paying attention. I was wearing flip flops because I wasn't anticipating having to work on the garage and I kicked a Flowmaster. There was a muffler laying on the ground next to the cases and I wound up kicking the end that connects to the exhaust pipe. Needless to say it hurt. My father proclaimed that I should have angereed it by making it an orphan because I have the other Flowmaster in my Blazer. So now my toes hurt like crazy and I've learned a lesson.

Kicking Flowmasters is a bad idea.

Here's to all the nice girls who became the friends instead girlfriends.

Here's to all the nice guys who got overlooked because we girls were off chasing the jerks.

Here's to that guy friend we all have. The one who doesn't have a shot, but we compare every guy we meet to.

Here's to the wonderful people we are too blind to see, though they are waving their arms at us.

Here's to the one screaming "I love you" to our deaf ears while we are too wrapped up in the ones who don't really love us.

Here's to the one that got away because we were afraid.

Here's to the people who are willing to risk a broken heart </3 for the chance of a complete one <3.

Here's to the friend who tells us the truth when we need to hear it.

Here's to the friends who stands beside us instead of behind us.

Just because everything around you seems different, doesn't mean that everything around you changed. Perhaps it was you who changed and the world just stayed the same. Maybe you grew up, maybe you learned something. Perhaps it's that you have opened your eyes, heart, and mind.

But that is not the point. The point is the following random thoughts.

We do not love someone because they are beautiful. They are beautiful because we love them.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Getting older means nothing other than you have lived on this little planet another year longer. Becoming mature is what means the most.

There is nothing more important in this world than love and faith, without them you cannot hope to survive.

Quote of the Day: "Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." Mother Theresa

Current Mood: Bored, Tired, Busy

Current Read: Still John Grisham Novels

Current Projects: Mock Trial, Halloween Costume {possibly}, Making bold attempts on getting more of my writing done.

Current Countdowns: EKU Mock Trial Tournament 19 days

Current Crazy hope/wish/idea/thought: I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night at eleven o'clock to my phone ringing. And the voice on the other end is going to tell me to look out my window, and when I ask why he'll say just do it. I keep thinking that I'm going to look out my window and he'll drive by in the Mazda, like he used to. But at the moment I know it's impossible.

Currently annoyed by: People who tell me to find someone is this state, people who tell me I'm crazy for going through something this ridiculous.

Current quote to respond with: "I'm a fan of ridiculous" ~Alan Shore, Boston Legal

Current Mood: Amused, Tired

Current Read: John Grisham Novels

Current Projects: Mock Trial work, Halloween Costume (possibly)

Current Countdowns: EKU Mock Trial Tournament 22 days

Most Recent Lesson: Saturn sound scary. I mean it literally makes frightening sounds.

Argument of the day: We know that it was one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles who assualted Shredder, because Shredder was karate-chopped by a reptile, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello, and Raphael - are the only reptiles who practice karate. Shredder's assailant could not have been Michelangelo, Leonardo, or Donatello because they were all in a newsmaker interview with April O'Neill at the time of the assault. Therefore Raphael must have assaulted Shredder. (Logic and Critical Thinking text book)

Quote of the Day: "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" ~Stephen Wright

Question of the day: Why do we spend so much time worrying about tommorrow when we should be living today?

Today's Theme Song: I Want to Live ~Josh Gracin

I happen to like this pink. It isn't entirely girly and frou frou. Yes I dare use that word.

If you don't eat your vegetables and go to bed, the Ebu Gogo will get you.

For some reason it is more convenient to have a baby on a Tuesday.

Many babies are born in August because it is cold in the winter time and there is nothing to do.

Contrary to popular belief, lunar gravity does not affect births. The moon's gravity does not pull the baby out any faster.

Maybe I will have more to add later.

So I watched The Princess Bride the other day because it is one of my absolute favorites and I now think I know why. Maybe it's because it is a really cool love story/action flick/fairytale sort of thing. It's just a really great story about true love and adventure, I guess. Anyway here are some of the quotes that I really absolutely love.

"I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?" "Well... you were dead." "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while." "I will never doubt again." "There will never be a need." ~The conversation when Buttercup realizes that the Dread Pirate Roberts is really Westley, who is alive. I think actually think this may be my favorite quote because I want a love like that.

"Hear this now: I will always come for you." "But how can you be sure?" "This is true love - you think this happens every day." ~The conversation when Westley is leaving Buttercup to seek his fortune so that he can marry her.

"That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back." The funny thing is that sometimes we can really be dense.

 I love this one.
I think this something many of us think at times.
 Sometimes I feel this way
.I felt this way for a long time.
Good question.
 This was one of my favorites.

that I watch him walk away again.

OK so Kenny showed up yesterday because he's moving to VA and passing through TN on his way through. And I tried to smile and tell him how happy I am to see him, but I know he's leaving in the morning and I won't see him again for a while. It takes all the strength I've got just to keep from crying. I must seem like the biggest wimp in the world but sometimes I have to just get by the best I can, and run to hide before he sees the tears. I love him so much it's not funny, and it's so hard to watch him go. Part of me wants to scream for him to come back, just to stay with me, and part of me, the smart part I guess, knows better. I've learned over the past six months that in order for this to work I'm going to have to be very strong and have a lot of faith.

I was happy to see him, thrilled really, but it didn't show the way I wanted it to. Instead I was sad, and once again thinking too far ahead and not living in the moment, I kept seeing him leaving. I wish I weren't like that, I really do. Because I'm going to miss so much if I don't. And I don't want to miss anything anymore. I want to be able to say that I lived life to the fullest, no matter what that means. I want to enjoy the time I get to spend with him, instead of thinking about what will happen next. I want to be the person that I should be.

Yeah I know, two of "those posts" is a bit much, but I'm just in one of those moods.

on my new computer. I'm excited, but there really is no point to this post other than that small announcement. Better post coming soon.

So yesterday was an interesting day, to say the least. Life is like a rollercoaster, it has it's ups and downs, and yesterday had both.

So I'm sitting in the BAS after taking my first economics test, just killing time between classes, when I get a phone call that promptly sends my nerves haywire for no apparant reason. Wednesday night instead of sleeping or studying I stayed up talking to Kenny. And he was asking what time I got out of class Thursday so that he could call me. Well anyway back to the BAS. I'm sitting there and I get the phone call informing me that Kenny would be in TN, possibly the Boro in an hour. So my nerves go into overdrive and my hands are shakin and everything, for no apparant reason I suddenly get nervous. Annoying? Yes very much so.

So I go to my next class, managing to get through it only checking my watch about three or four times.Then I hung out with Jenna until about one, and he still wasn't here. I argued with poor Jenna because she said she knew things that he made her promise not to tell me, and that annoyed me. Sorry buddy. But anyway he gets to the KUC about three and we hung out for a while before he headed off to find his roommate, who is moving to VA with him, and then go meet his sister. And I leave to go drop off something that needed sent back to the computer store. Then I came back and hung around campus for a while since I have no life and parking sucks during thursday football games, and waited for Mock Trial to begin.

I didn't do as well as I had hoped last night. I need to review my rules and revamp my opening. I really should have had a better cross prepared, but I was having some issues with it. That was not a pleasant round, and in truth, as bad as it seems, I really just wanted to get out of there because Kenny is leaving today, and we were going to try and do something together before hand.

That plan worked out brilliantly. I didn't leave campus until ten, but before that he called me and said he had a present for me. One that it was very important that he give me before he left. It turned out to be my MTSU hoodie that I had left in Jenna's car in July after we went to FL. Funny thing is my hoodie smells sort of like him. Bizzarre? Yes I know it is.But anyway we decide to meet at the Steak n Shake, however the Steak n Shake was full of people, so we would up standing in the parking lot in front of Toys 'R' Us. Random, I know. And we just sort of stood there and talked, and he tried to convince me to come to VA with him, and I tried to explain that I belong in TN where I fit. Apparantly I'm stubborn, because I want to stay here. But hey, that's life, and things may change.

We finally had to go our separate ways again, meaning he left me here in TN again. And I'm going to miss him so much it's not funny. But he's closer now, and that makes it a bit better at least. It just one of those things I guess.

So I know that no one is going to want to read this cause it's my official 9/11 blog entry and it won't be a positive or happy entry. But here goes anyway.

I remember it all so clearly, its one of those things that never blurs out of focus. I don't I'll ever get that  image of planes crashing, buildings falling, and fire out of my head. I was a freshman in high school and that morning we were taking the final test on The Giver. A teacher came hurrying in and began talking to my english teacher, and finally my english teacher asked the class if it was alright to turn of the TV. She turned it on just in time to see the second plane hit. I remember thinking that it was impossible, that no one would dare attack the US on our turf. We were America, Land of the Free, we were invincible and impenetrable. I was so scared, and so freaked out. I spent the whole day trying to wake up from the nightmare and shaking. People all around me were leaving school to be with family, and there were tears and pale fear stricken faces. I kept thinking that maybe if I close my eyes and open them again it will go away. That it would never have happened.

This morning I woke up, put my clothes on and ate some breakfast, just like I do everyday. I brushed my teeth, pulled my hair up, and made sure my little brother was ready for school before getting in my Blazer to head out to face a new day. I turned on my radio and sang along to "Have You Forgotten" as I dropped J.C. off at Siegel Middle and dropped a letter off for my dad. And then as I headed towards campus I took a deep breath and sighed. I silenced my radio and held a private moment of silence for those lost, those fighting, the ones left to carry on. All the heros of that day and forward.

As I climbed out of my blazer, and I pulled out my things, I paused. The wind blew across the parking lot, and I bowed my head in prayer. I know I don't do it enough, but I try especially on days like today. I remembered 9/11 and those who died in New York, D.C., and in that Pennsylvania field. Sometimes I think that people forget. Maybe because it's too painful, and too ugly to remember. Maybe they hope that if they forget it will go away. But I know better. And I have not forgotten.