God is in control...

As my mom and I were looking at a car that served as a very strong possibility for me, my dad got a flat tire on the way to work.

His car is pretty old and he's pretty sick of it anyways. I know a flat tire has nothing to do with a car falling to pieces, but I'm sure this doesn't make him feel any better about it.

So my dad's car needs a new tire.

And he also needs a cell phone.

And a car.

And I need a car.

Whew.

Craziness.

But life could be a lot worse.

School was awesome today. I thoroughly enjoyed English class. We had a great discussion that Garrett and I agreed was good because no one tried to read too deeply in the stories we discussed, and also that we did not feel stupid when we contributed something. It's gonna be a good class.

Oh... and I switched out my lab so I have a much easier professor... go me! I was going to switch into Lindsey Kittel's lab, but alas, it was full, so I switched to another lab with the professor she has, since she's supposed to be super easy. Yay... I don't have to take the test of doom after all!

First off, it's Garrett's birthday! Be sure to wish him a happy one!

So yesterday, Theatre Appreciation was good, Understanding Mass Media absolutely rocked, and English was fine.

Dr. Spires teaches my UMM class, and I love him almost as much as I love the class itself. Already, even just one day into it, I can tell that it's going to be my favorite. Right away, I felt very comfortable in there. The seating arrangement is in a U shape, which is a very good arrangement for a class with all the discussions we are going to have. We had to introduce ourselves to everyone, and it's the only class so far that I am totally comfortable speaking up in already.

I have a good English teacher, but I'm going to have to work hard. It sounds like she's going to expect a lot out of the papers we are writing, but she is going to give us a couple of chances to revise our stuff, so that's good. There was also a notice on the syllabus that some of the stuff we'll be reading about we probably won't be comfortable with, but I think I need to stick with it, because this is just another part of growing up. I can't live in a bubble forever.

Lab this morning was alright. We had to feel, smell, scratch rocks... ha ha... seriously! I never would have imagined! Anyhow, my teacher's nice, but I am concerned about our first test next Wednesday. We have to be able to identify rocks... and I could hardly identify them with the lab book in front of my face... much less from memory! I'm really hoping I don't fail...

Geology was good. I got there in plenty of time today, and Lindsey and I sat together in the second row.

Lastly, math. My teacher is VERY Russian, but thankfully he is not psychotic! I have to strain sometimes to understand him, but it's all good. He's pretty funny, and it's gonna be a real easy class. Like... insult my intelligence easy! We learned about scientific notation today. Whoo...

Ok, obviously I was misinterpruted by several people yesterday. I didn't mean that my honors classes were my interesting classes because they were honors, I meant they were my interesting classes because those were the classes I was interested in. Because these are classes I am interested in, I was willing to sign up for honors. I am not interested in geology and math because they are geology and math, not because they are not honors. I am not like that. And I'm not dropping Math 1010, and even though I think rocks are boring I have a good geology teacher and Lindsey's in that class with me. Yesterday was just overwhelming for me. I was late to geology, and I hate being late, and the class is pretty large... probably about 80 people, and it's pretty intimidating to walk into a class like that on your first day of college late and have to stand in the back of the room.

Anyhow, I just wanted to clear that up.

So I am currently in the MTSU library with Ashley Orman. We ran into each other and discovered that neither one of us have another class until 11:20, so why don't we hang out? We're having fun. My theatre appreciation class was great this morning. Dr. Hansen seems so nice and awesome, and I think I'm really going to enjoy his class and do well. I met two girls from my class afterwards and they were both really nice. One of them was from North Carolina and she's majoring in RIM. My next class is Understanding Mass Media, which is the class I am probably the most excited about, and then English. Today is much better... but I think MWF will be ok too. As Graham told me yesterday, a lot of it is about attitude.

Frustration upon frustration upon frustration...

Yeah... what a way to start college.

I don't even know why I got so frustrated. It was stupid stuff. If I snapped at you in even the slighest bit, I am so sorry. It was so nice to see so many familar faces today. Without y'all, I would have been so completely and utterly lost.

Tomorrow will be better because all my classes are honors, which means 1.) I'm actually interested in them, 2.) they're so much smaller, 3.) the students will be more serious, and 4.) Garrett's in two of them with me.

My geology class seems alright, as long as I get there in time for a seat, but my math class has a few loonies, and my teacher is a psychotic Russian. Actually, I'm not really sure if he's psycho, because I only found one MTSU review on his class, but that's what the rumor is. I'm thinking I might try to see if I can switch out, but if I can't, I don't think it'll be the end of the world.

It's not the end of the world/ It's just another day/ Depending on grace...

Yeah... it'll get better. God is good... all the time!

My day started with Sunday school this morning, as most of my Sundays do. It was kinda neat to see all the extra people there that had not been there over the summer. Then there was the church service, and then there was the lunch, but I skipped it to eat a real quick lunch at my house right before I rushed out of the house for convocation.

I had been told it would be terribly boring, and it was kinda boring, but I am soooo glad I went. First off, I had a blast sitting with Anna. We just laughed about everything! And the band did an amazing job doing their Olympic music 4 1/2 times... ha ha... and Aron Ralston was a good speaker. It was cool to see his prosthetic arm and wild hair. Also, it just felt like the official beginning of college, kinda like how graduation is the official end.

Afterwards was sooooo awesome! Anna, her cousin Nathan, Renfroe and I walked forever to get to the picnic, where we are greeted by a band singing "I like big butts..." (at this point we are telling Anna to cover her eleven year old cousin's ears) and then it started to pour. Thankfully, I had my umbrella, and we spent much of our time waiting for food huddled together under my umbrella along with Alex Rader and two random girls he knew. Let me tell you, I totally regretted not having my camera with me... it was definitely a Kodak moment of our first big college experience! I saw Miss Ashley Orman and Allison DeBlois with the Armark people and talked with them briefly.

So while tromping through puddles to get back to our cars, Garrett calls me and invites me to come with his family to TGI Friday's to celebrate his birthday (which is Wednesday). Well, I looked like a drowned rat at the moment, but why not? So I went home, and was amazed and relieved to discover that my wet hair had magically dried in a beautifully wavy way. I thanked God for that as I changed clothes and got ready.



photo from SingAHappySong

So Friday's was fun. Garrett's mom sneakily whispered to the waitress that it was Garrett's birthday, so he was quite surprised when a whole crew of waiters and waitresses start clapping and singing! So all in all, I had a pretty busy, and pretty terrific day. I'm a little nervous about tomorrow, but mostly excited, especially after convocation and the picnic. I really believe that these next four years just really may blow away my expectations...

I gave into the trend:
My name supposedly means...
Your natural charisma and charm makes you an influential figure able to inspire confidence in others. Material abundance and emotional contentment are seemingly drawn to you and satisfy your dreams of success. However being humanitarian you find that applying your talents and creative prowess to a worthwhile purpose is far more satisfying than material gain. Your courage, adaptability and determination overcome any obstacles.

The car search continues. I saw an adorable red Ford Escort coupe that looked good, until I sat inside and saw how dirty it was. The dude at the place said that there was a cleaner one that's exactly the same only maroon, and we should be able to check that out in a couple of days. Let me tell you, in general, I don't like Fords, but Escorts are reliable and the sport coupes are just so cute!

The AO party Thursday night was so fun. I'm so glad I went. It was great meeting more AO people, and it eased some of my nerves about college, which is nearly here... will be here the day after tomorrow.

Siegel won their first home game last night. Woot.

Oh yes, and it's my dad's birthday. This is the card I got him:



photo from SingAHappySong

Well, "work" is over. They didn't need us anymore after yesterday... they ran out of things for us to do... ha ha... plus the guidance office secretary is out of town today and tomorrow. So at least I earned a few extra dollars. So this cracked me up yesterday even more than the living room quote:

Rebecca (looking out the window of the guidance office, observing a girl talking to a guy): That guy looks scared!
*Someone opens the door to the office and we can hear the guy in the hallway*
Guy: Why do you keep talking to me? Get away from me! I don't know you!

Scary...

So who's going to the AO party tonight? I think I might be. Who's doing We-Haul? I haven't decided yet. Who's ready for college to just hurry up and start so we can get the beginning of the year over with? I definitely am! I'm just ready to be settled into college... but facing this new beginning will just make me stronger. God is showing more and more to not be afraid, and the importance of being brave.

Oh yes, and another question... is anyone free after 12:25 on MWF? We can hang out and eat lunch together! Let me know!

Oh, and I'm still waiting for that video camera and the group of folks to show up at my house...

I want to make music videos. TODAY. I want a group of you to show up at my house with a video camera and ready to go. NOW.

"Work" has been going well. I've been seeing some old friends which is cool. I helped Kelly with some of her guidance office grunt work stuffing mailboxes... fun times! I seriously need to take a picture of the closet room that we have been spending most of our time filing stuff. It's INSANE.

Well... sorry I have nothing real worthwhile to say. Just don't forget about the video camera... ha ha...

Quote of the day:
*Student walks in guidance office*
"They don't have a clock in the living room."
*We all stare at him*
"I mean... cafeteria."

So this evening on CNN they did a special on "Hollywood and Religion". It seems I missed the bit they did on Mel Gibson, but I saw Kirk Cameron (actor: Growing Pains, Left Behind) and Ralph Winter (producer: X-Men). They both seem very solid, and it is so awesome to see that in Hollywood. It's very refreshing to know that there are Christians in Hollywood surviving and thriving and making God known.

I'm so glad that AO is splitting up into different Sunday school classes... maybe this will make it more personal and less overwhelming, especially for the new students coming in. I'm definitely interested in the world religions class.

So, is it just me or is Phusebox slowing down? Is it because school is back, or does everyone else just have more of a life than I do? I just haven't received as many comments, and I'm noticing the same with the other daily users, and those seem to be decreasing as well.

That's about all I have to say here... I'm going to post an old journal entry about Bruce on my other Phusebox so check it out! I've decided to use it for old journal entries I want to share and devotions. I hope everyone has a marvelous day! I'm a working woman tomorrow! Whoo hoo!

From the game last night:



photo from SingAHappySong

Ah... being at a high school football game... it doesn't feel the same when you're not in high school anymore. I don't know it felt different. Maybe it felt different because Garrett was sitting with me instead of with the band. Maybe it felt different because... well I don't even know. Maybe it was just the new stadium. It was fun... but not the same. But that's a good thing. I don't want to go back. I want to move forward. Which is good... since that's my only option!

Anna and I did decide last night, however, that we should have been in band. It just looks like fun...

So I went to Starbucks with Aimee and Anna, and randomly ran into Lauren and Emily. That was pretty cool. I used my Starbucks coupon from the Bronx, so I got to drink a free grande java chip frappucino. That was nice.

Shopping is fun... if you're a girl that has trouble finding jeans, you may want to check out the new "curvy" (or "straight" if that describes you better) jeans at Gap. They fit me PERFECTLY and that's amazing. They're also super cute! If you try on a pair you get a free iTunes song... I'm trying to decide which song I want... oh the many choices...

One year without Bruce... it seems longer to me... it seems like a very distant memory...

Let me tell you... God truly rocks...

God has been teaching me for... well... YEARS to trust Him. He's been trying to tell me for a long time to not worry about my life; that He is in control. He's been teaching me that I just need to rely on Him, and He will handle it.

Well, guess who has a temp job next week, and wasn't even looking for it?!

So next week, I am returning to the hallways of Riverdale for a week of getting paid for filing. Just to think... I did that an hour everyday for a semester for free! Well, I did get credit and a 100... which is better than nothing! Anyhow, so I'm kinda excited about the chance to make some extra money. It'll feel weird going back to the school though...

So God's also been teaching me this: to not be afraid. I'm afraid of college, afraid I may be doing something wrong but not even be aware of it... and I just need to stop! If God could protect me in the Bronx at 1:00 AM, He can take care of me anywhere, anytime! He always does, even when I am not aware of it.

I also have no reason to fear other people- because they're just people. And also, I need to not be afraid to stand up for what I believe. Someone may persecute me for it, but that does not matter.

I heard the song "Brave" (by Nichole Nordeman) on the radio the other day, and it was the first time I really listened to the lryics. I won't post all of them, because I know it can be annoying to read out a whole song, but just consider the following lines:

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave

God is calling me to be brave... no matter what.

He was trying to speak to me, I just know it!

Have you ever been in a room with someone that was talking to a group of people, and though they're speaking English, you feel like they're actually speaking another language entirely, because what they are talking about is so foreign to you? You understand a few of their "foreign" words, like you may pick up bits and pieces of a Spanish conversation, but you're still not entirely sure what's going on? Yeah, I experienced that with the InDesign workshop today (the one that was supposed to happen on Monday).

And then, have you ever...

Been so emotionally attacked by Satan out of the blue and it just made you wonder, "where did that come from?" Have you ever just had a day where the smallest things just triggered you to tears? And yet you know that all that matters is God and what He wants, but that doesn't change your emotions? That happened yesterday, at least twice.

Have you ever...

Just felt so stuck, like nothing is moving forward, yet knowing that in just a week and a half, your whole life is going to change?

Hmmm...

Yay.

Garrett and I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It made me hungry for chocolate of course... ha ha... I loved it again, and Garrett enjoyed it as well.

Nothing else to say. We've been looking at a lot of cars, but the right one hasn't come along yet...

"I want to ask you about school... if you're late for the first day of school, will they kill you?" -Sally to Charlie Brown in a Peanuts cartoon

Well, while many of you returned to high school for your first full day of the new year, I actually went to my new school, though it has not started back yet. This semester I will be working with the Honors College's literary magazine staff, so I went to MTSU for an InDesign worskshop. I ate lunch with Mom at the KUC and got some books at Phillip's. (I didn't see Garrett or Robert, but I did see Justin.)

But anyhow, the guy who was supposed to be showing us how to use InDesign did not show up... go figure! But it was still neat to be at the university. I know some kids go to MTSU because that's their only choice, but that's not the case with me. I chose to go there, and I like it, and I can feel how right it is whenever I'm on campus.

I have had some concerns like Sally, however, like what if I'm late to a class because I have trouble finding it? But I know that God is in control, and it's all going to work out for His glory.

photo from SingAHappySong

Yesterday Garrett's dad turned 50, and I went to his birthday party last night. It was pretty fun. It was the first time I had played a real game of pool. I played against Hannah McKnight, who had also never played before. I lost because I sunk the 8 ball too soon. Oops. I stunk pretty bad at first but thankfully improved throughout the game. I'm definitely not that great though... Garrett's Uncle Ham nailed Chuck (Garrett's dad) in five minutes... Well I guess we'll see how well he does when HE'S the one turning 50... ha ha... ok, so 50's really not THAT old...

And just to think, sometimes I think 18 going on 19 is old. Well, not really old, but sometimes I feel like I've let the best years of my life slip past me. Wasn't high school supposed to totally rock? Well, I had a pretty good three years (I hated freshman year) but I think it's going to get better (but probably also harder) as God works through my life more and more.

And speaking of age... have you ever found yourself having to console someone older than you? It's a strange feeling. It makes you realize that growing up doesn't mean you'll always be confident or have all the answers. So that means that even on that first day of college when I feel oh so timid and not confident... that doesn't make me any less of a young woman... HOWEVER, I should rely on God, because He will take care of me!

So where are some good tennis shoes? I decided I wanted to take the Reeboks back... they're not my style... and I took back the pair of tennis shoes I had bought before those... I'm having a serious shoe crisis! I've been having a hard time finding shoes that fit me lately... odd... my old shoes still fit fine... so it can't be my feet... I don't think...

I went to Emily's bridal shower for a little while. That was kinda neat. I had never been to a bridal shower before today. It's the most I've gotten to talk to Sarah B. since she came home.

And last but not least, I have a theology bit for the day. Yes indeed... so my dad was talking about the sermon this morning and was saying something to me about how we can't come to God unless He calls to us, because we really can't come to Him on our own. So for a moment I was confused, but then I realized that this is very true. I'm not a Calvinist, but I believe in predestination. I also believe in free will. Contradiction? I don't think so. The Bible has verses about both. God predestines those He foreknew. Meaning, God knows who's going to believe in Him, and those He predestines. And those are the ones He calls to Him and accepts. We have the choice, but He knows how we will respond.

I clicked on the "what does your name mean" link on Drew's Phusebox and tried it out myself. The box was being stupid so I decided to just type it out what it said. I think it's quite hillarious:

AMY
A is Adventurous
M is for Mysterious
Y is for Yummy

To my PTT peeps... I got the Shawn McDonald CD! Now I can "na na" all the time!!!

I love to write. When I can write without stopping for quite a while, it's a good feeling for me. Now what can stink about writing, however, is that you can spend a long time doing it and by the end of it you realize that what you just finished pouring yourself into is a piece of crap that should be burned and never spoken of again. That was yesterday.

And then there's today. That's when you write a while, dream and plan of what you may write in the future, and realize that's it's pretty good. It's being inspired and seeing a vision in your mind. The only thing that stinks about today's writing is that I am totally ripping off Little Women and making it modern day and giving characters new names. I can't help it though. I truley believe that Little Women is the single greatest novel ever about young women and what they should be.

But I don't just want to write the story. I want to make it a movie

That, my friends, is one of many reasons why I am majoring in media production and minoring in English.

I get to see the greatest high school marching band in Tennessee perform tonight... at least they better still be the greatest! ;-)

It's so weird to read everyone's entries about going back to school today... It sounds like it went well for everyone. I hope I can say the same about my first day of college in appox. 18 days (too lazy to check my math). A girl I met at Customs from Chattanooga is moving here in 9 days for MTSU band camp, and I realize that many people are making this transition. And I have it pretty easy compared to most. I'm staying home this first year, and will have the convenience of being with my parents and having them here to help me.

In some ways... however... it makes me feel less grown up. But I know I'm doing the right thing, and sometimes as a grown up, you have to do what you know is right, even when it doesn't seem right.

I have all my books for school minus English now...

Since everyone's posting their school schedule, I decided I would post mine as well since I never did:

MWF:
Intro to Earth Science
Math for General Studies
W:
Intro to Earth Science lab
TR:
Theatre Appreciation Honors
Experience of Literature Honors
Understanding Mass Media Honors

I'm excited...

*EDIT*
Quote of the day: "Mmmm... trans fat."

"Everything you love is what makes a life worth living. Take a moment, set down the book, and make a list of all the things you love... Simply think of all the things you love."

I made a list. I'll share just a few things with you:
~Sunsets
~Photography
~Laughing
~Music
~Chocolate
~Autumn
~Daydreaming
~My friends and family
~God's love

"The heart is you. The deepest, truest you."

I am rereading Waking the Dead by John Eldrdge (where the quotes are from) and it is blowing me away once again. When you realize the reality of your life, that God wants you to live fully and radiate His glory... it's amazing. It's the same way when you realize that God wants to capture your heart, that it is the wellspring of your life, from where your desires and dreams flow... it's incredible.

"His [the Enemy's] plan from the beginning was to assault the heart... Of course your heart would be the object of a great and fierce battle. It is your most precious possession. Without your heart you cannot have God... without your heart you cannot have life."

I won't be at church tonight. I'm going with Garrett and his family to his Grandparents'. See y'all later...

Ok, I can never live in a house with stairs ever again. Either that, or I just need to learn how to walk.