Looking Back and Looking Forward

January 02 2006
So I definitely just tried to sit down with my journals and remember what this year was like, but I got tired with that because I wrote a whole lot. So I'll tell y'all what I remember.

January-May: I anxiously awaited graduation and college. I was stressed out often, but I also had a lot of fun. Both proms were great. Other senior activities were great. I was pretty mature, but as I look back, I was pretty darn immature compared to who I am now. (Not to say I'm always mature now, but a semester in college does a lot to a person). I grew closer to people at Riverdale, oddly enough. I loved being on yearbook staff, as crazy as it was at times. In May I finally graduated.

June: Big Stuf was good. A couple weeks later, however, a big dip in the road occured. It was one of the toughest internal struggles I've faced, but it made me a better and stronger person. I really sought God and He taught me a lot.

July: I went to Paint the Town, and it was an amazing experience. I think I was a different person afterwards. God showed me a lot through putting me in uncomfortable situations, painting for long hours, and getting lost in the Bronx at 2 AM.

August: I don't remember anything about it except starting college. I hated my first day of school but enjoyed the second. I began to grow nervous about the new expectations that would be placed on me.

September: I tried to adjust to college life. It wasn't always easy. I met a ton of people in AO and it finally began to feel like home. I instantly fell in love with my J-group.

October: I can't remember specifics, but I guess this was when I began to thrive in school and in friendships.

November: My goodness! The semester is almost over! Where has the time gone? Will I ever make an A on a paper in Dr. Therrien's class? And she's really gotten me to think a lot about my identity and who I am, about thinking for myself and not letting others tell me what to think. I realize that what I am learning in her class and in my Understanding Mass Media class is not just trivial knowledge, but lessons about life. And I decide that is why college is way better than high school.

December: School wraps up, and I'm sad to see some classes go and so happy about the others ending. I realize what I am capapble of when I see that I ended up with an A in Dr. Hardcore Therrien's class and end my first semester with a 4.0. I see God blessing me in so many ways and I finally seem to grasp the silliness of worrying. I also notice the continous struggles that I deal with over and over again, and pray and ask God to help me. I end the year realizing that I really and truly have a long way to go before I am "complete in maturity, not lacking anything". I end the year feeling happy and blessed, and wanting desperately to live a life for others and not myself. I also met Michael W. Smith the last day of the year, and that was pretty cool.

I must also say that after ninteen months with Garrett, we've both grown a lot as individuals and in our relationship. It indeed has been a blessing.



Looking forward...

This new year I want to love God first and foremost, more than anything or anyone. I want to passionately pursue Him and see His glory and live His glory.

I also want to love people with a zealous, selfless love.

I decided last night that I also want to finish (really finish it and be satisfied with) my novel (that I have been writing and rewriting and rewriting and rewriting since I was about 14) by the end of this year.

See Below Entry for Explanation

January 01 2006

Happy 2006! I know 2005 was a good year for me!

One of the Most Adventerous Days I've Ever Had...

December 31 2005
Whoo boy what a day.

Who would have thunk it?

So last night, I went to Jessica Layne's wedding. I actually don't know her, but Garrett's family does so I was his wedding date. Anyhow, the wedding was so beautiful and nice and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I went to another wedding today. Since Garrett went to Knoxville this morning, it was just Mom and me. The wedding was for an old co-worker of Mom's from Houston, who also happened to move to TN a few years ago. He and his newlywed work in the Cool Springs Lifeway now. Anyhow, so the wedding was in Columbia. And in case you've never been to Columbia, let me tell you, this place is IN THE STICKS! Seriously... it was podunk. We only found the church (and on time) by the grace of God alone!

So, here we are, at this random country wedding in Columbia in this old, small church with wooden pews. The ceremony is simple and not quite as nice as the one from yesterday. So who would think that of all the people in the universe that MICHAEL W. SMITH would be doing the benediction? Yeah. Apparently they're buddies with him. Go figure, right? *FAINTS*

Anyhow, so I was like freaking out during the whole service. "I'm at a wedding with Michael W. Smith. I'm in the same room as Michael W. Smith." Holy Moley. I wouldn't get starstruck with very many movie stars I don't think, but he's a legend in Christian music. He's an icon. Who cares if I don't even listen to his music all that much?

So yeah, I got my picture taken at the reception. Thanks to mom. Ha ha. I couldn't bring myself to talk to him without my mom saying something. But he was standing behind us in the cake line (he likes chocolate cake in case you were wondering) and Mom was like so hey... can we get a picture? So when the photo uploading comes back, I will definitely post the picture. It was really funny though. He shook my hand and was like, "I'm Michael." And I was like, "I know who you are!" Craziness.

So after that...

We went to the Cool Springs Galleria because I wanted a new outfit for tonight. So we arrived at Parisian at 5, saw an adorable black party dress, and suddenly here, "the store is closing NOW." What the heck?! Party poopers. Then we realize that the rest of the mall is closing at 6. Grrreat. If you've never tried to buy a complete outfit in one hour, you should some time. It's an experience. But we did it. Minus shoes that we got at the Boro's Target. If you've ever seen the Look for Less on Style network, what Mom and I experienced was a whole lot like that show!

So anyhow...

*Big breath*

How was your last day of the year?

Adieu, 2005... it's been a pretty good year...

PHUSEBOX IS BACK!

December 30 2005
Wow... so I have like 12 days to update on. Well, my haircut turned out ok. Nobody even seemed to notice it... I can easily make the short layers blend in with the rest of my hair so it looks pretty much the same.

I got a Panasonic GS150 for Christmas (it's mini-DV format, Anna). For those of you who don't know, that's a video camera. Anyhow, I took some very exciting footage of trees and stuff in Mississippi when I was down there and I started editing it together last night and I have forty seconds so far! And it's a GOOD forty seconds!

So Anna and some other people are going to have to help me out here and film more stuff with me. I want some people in there so it'll be more interesting, and so I can have a storyline. The background music is Lifehouse's "Walking Away." It goes really well with what I have now. And then after I finish this video (which is called "A Journey" by the way), I want to do a music video that is really geared towards the story in the song. Anyhow, I'm pretty excited! I still have to buy a DVD burner though, and some more memory, and a microphone...

The trip to MS was kinda hard because my granddaddy's really gone downhill with his Alheizmer's (sp?).

Oh, and in case you didn't read it on Xanga... I ended up with a 4.0 after all! *Beam*

A Good Movie and a Bad Haircut

December 17 2005
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is officially the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Phantom Shmantom... Aslan's the man- errr- lion.

And I have concluded I am never going to try to get the same trendy haircut as some model ever again.

And Garrett, Zach, and I are going to the Siegel play tonight if anyone else wants to join us! We're gonna have a good old time with the Peanuts gang! Yay for Charlie Brown!

My Pre-Geology & English GPA is...

December 15 2005

4.0!


So now... I just have to wait for English to come in and DESTROY it! The beautiful, sweet sound of the perfect GPA that is then crushed to the ground by the teacher who was amazing and yet... aggrivating. I don't know what's taking Abolins so long to post my grade... the final was on a scantron... did we all fail? Is he curving them? Maybe I should be happy he's curving them because I didn't think I did too horribly. But maybe I did... oh horrors... I had a 97 though, so how badly would I have to do on the final to be worried? He said it was just like another test grade, and we had so many other assignments to make tests not too huge of a deal. Well, I don't think I'm going to worry about it. I've learned at least 22,347,825 times that worrying is ridiculous!

I saw Lauren and Dr. Spires today. Dr. Spires said I did a good job. That makes me happy, because he is the head of the EMC department.

It Is Finished!

December 13 2005
I am finally finished for the semester! And I survived!
Here's what I wish I could do to my geology book:

Quote

December 11 2005
"To be great is to be misunderstood."

I don't remember who said it, but I sure hope they were right.

I just found out I have a 97 in geology minus my final tomorrow, so that's comforting. Yay for extra credit. I've been studying all day today and all yesterday evening for this test, so hopefully I'll do well.

What I Will And Will NOT Miss About This Semester...

December 08 2005
I will miss hanging out with Lindsey and Page in geology.
But I will NOT miss geology class!

I will miss having a Russian teacher with random, funny stories.
I will NOT miss math!

I will miss theatre appreciation.
I will NOT be sad to move on to other aspects of theatre.

I will miss Dr. Spires.
I will NOT miss Dr. Spires' tests.

I will miss discussions in Dr. Therrien's class.
I will NOT miss Dr. Therrien's grading scale.

I will miss having two classes with Garrett.
I will NOT miss him messing with my M&M's!

I will miss helping Ms. C during scholarship work.
I will NOT miss driving off campus to go help her.

Five finals, one Friday, one Monday, and three Tuesday. Yes, three. Fun times. Pray for all of them, especially geology on Monday!

The Impossible HAS Happened!

December 06 2005
I finally got an A- on an English paper graded by Dr. Therrien! It's a miracle!

Never thought I would be happy about an A-...

I got asked today if I was ever in marching band because of the way I walk... yeah Anna... apparently I really should have been in band!

And if your heart desires, you can feel free to switch into either my psych class or computer class...

Christians' Influence in the Arts

December 04 2005
So I'm doing research for an essay I have to write for my final grade in my Understanding Mass Media class, and I ran across this great entry dated December 13, 2004. It is apparent that the blogger is a Christian and he said some cool things that made me happy. He was talking about our fascination with entertainment.

First off, I liked this: "I have often thought that the real you (or me!) is the 'you' that exists in your
daydreams.  The things that dominate your daydreams tell the real story of what
you value and desire the most.  Similarly, it seems to me that the real values
of a people, nation or culture, could be defined by wha they do in their
leisure. "

Then his conclusion was good as well: "Christians need to be involved in the arts and entertainment spheres, and not
just in alternative Christian arts and entertainments.  My impression is that,
for too long, evangelicals have believed that serious Christians would devote
their lives to witnessing, studying the bible and doing church work. "Serious
Christians" wouldn't waste their time with all of that artsy-fartsy stuff. Yet, we still want to influence the world. Napoleon understood something we
haven't - if you want to influence the world, influence the arts."

That has been the desire of my heart for so long...

And when I was listening to the sermon this morning I was just thinking... how often do I really talk to those around me about Jesus?

While I am studying how to be an influence in the arts through production and writing, I still have a responsibilty to reach out to non-Christians in my daily life.

Send us with fire to go love the world...

Now That Brian Has Turned 18...

December 03 2005

...he can be a princess!

Good, Then Bad, Then Okay...

November 29 2005

Well, there are lots of errors on Phusebox right now but others seem to be
posting ok, so maybe I can too...



So my day was... odd...



It started out great. I nearly had a heart attack as I watched my theatre appreciation
teacher put the grades (from our latest test) up on the board... there was
a 100, 97.5, 90, and then the next grade was a C! No B's! And the lowest grade
was a 37.5! I was just thinking "man, I thought I did good" but it
made me so nervous! Well, I was the one who made the
100! What a relief! And how awesome! I've never made 100 on one of his tests,
though I always do well. It's especially nice since that is the test that
counts the most (minus the final).



Then later in the day, I talked to my English teacher about my last paper
and showed her my rough draft. Well, she thought it was great! I was so
excited! She just ade a couple of suggestions to make it better, but I am so
glad that there is a potentional A in sight for that class!



Then I went to the work, and let's say I had a couple of complicated issues
with a couple different hole punches. I didn't realize that punching holes
could be so difficult! I got a stack of paper stuck in both the manual and the
automatic hole punchers! Agh!



But anyhow, after that
everything was fine. I guess a day like mine just goes to show that we all have
great potential, and yet we will never be perfect and we will always make
mistakes!



My friend Jolene's in my EMC class next semester, so now I have
a friend in two of my classes...  

My First Day at my First Job...

November 28 2005
...was pretty good! I'm so thankful that I get to work with Amy Bonin and several other nice people!

Hmmm... I need to work on my English paper and theatre appreciation oral report...

Sarah Branscom is in my history class for next semester! Finally! Someone I know!

I bought the Aly & AJ CD on Friday... ahhhh I love it... I know it's music for pre-teens but I don't care! They're Christians but Disney promotes them. Their music's good stuff.

Quote of the day (though it was said on Saturday night):
"So at the fall retreat, the speaker was asking what one trait of God we would like to have. Everyone was giving Sunday school answers like, 'love', but I was thinking 'all-powerful'!" -Brian King (happy birthday and ungrounding eve!)

Plans for Tonight!

November 26 2005
Starbucks at 7!!!


Charlie Brown is the Coolest...

November 24 2005
Well Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I had dinner with my aunt, two first
cousins, one cousin's wife, two second cousins, one step-second cousin,
my mamaw, papaw, and parents, and it was good. I sat at the kiddy
table... I haven't done that in forever! But it was neat because it was
the first time I've seen my step cousin in YEARS, and she's the only
one on my dad's side anywhere near my age (two years younger than me)
and it was cool to talk to her.

Anyhow,
I just watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, and so I must share some
great words of wisdom about Thanksgiving from Charlie Brown and his
friends...

*Charlie Brown is disappointed that there is nothing in the mailbox for him*
Sally: "What were you expecting?! A turkey card?"

Sally to Linus: "We can hold hands under the table!"

Sally to Charlie Brown: "It's your own fault because you're so wishy washy!"

Charlie Brown: "I can't cook a Thanksgiving meal! All I can make is toast!"

And... also Charlie Brown...
"I think I'm losing control of the whole world!"
When did he have control over the whole world?!

And if you go to Charlie Brown's for Thanksgiving, you can expect some toast, popcorn, pretzels, and jellybeans...

My Worries Were In Vain!

November 23 2005
"The things that happen do not happen by chance, they are entirely in the decree of God. God is working out his purposes." -Oswald Chambers

I don't know how many millions of times God is going to have to teach me to chill out, but I am so happy, relieved, and THANKFUL that my schedule worked out really well! I was actually planning on taking three of the classes, two of them just turned out to be with different teachers at different times. I still got Intro to EMC Honors... which was a biggie. And I have an elective... so that's cool. Anyhow, I won't keep y'all waiting because I know you're just so anxious to find out! Hee hee! And if anyone wants to get in my psych class, there is probably plenty of room still avaliable!

MWF
Computer Science Orientation
General Psychology

MW
Intro to Electric Media Communication

TR
Fundamentals of Acting
Survey of United States History II

Avaliable for lunch after 12:45 on TR and between 11:15 and 12:40 on MWF

I Need A Hug...

November 22 2005
I want to cry. I don't think I'm going to have a decent schedule next semester. Hardly any of the classes I need are avaliable at a decent hour with a decent teacher. Is that so much to ask? I want to hurt someone... very badly... mainly whoever decided I should register on the last day.

"Cookies Make Everything Better"

November 21 2005
...temporarily at least.

Ok, first this weekend, since Carla is itching to know! My J-group went and saw the world premiere of Surrender Road at the Nashville Opera on Friday nightl. It was quite different than I expected. For one, we were definitely overdressed, but it was still fun! But secondly, it was set in America and everything was in English. So it wasn't your sterotypical opera, but because every line was sung, it was an opera. It was pretty cool though. The first act was good, but the ending was a letdown. It was kinda fun to make fun of it afterwards, I mean really, who really thinks their destiny is just to die?! I know we all die, but we're supposed to live before we die, and just when you think the characters have realized what it means to live, they allow themselves to fall off the Brooklyn Bridge! Talk about depressing!



Then we went to IHOP in our dresses, and we saw Marcus Tallman. He gave us funny looks... ha ha... but we explained it to him! Anyhow, IHOP was fun too! The waiter didn't charge Jolene for her food and told her not to worry about it... mhmm... yeah he was pretty flirty. And I went to high school with him... so that was kinda weird to me for some reason.

Saturday was my date with Garrett and of course that was good. Outback knows how to load a potato. Mmm...

Then yesterday was the Titans game. Garrett and I went on the General Jackson tailgate cruise which is pretty cool. When we got back I saw this really eerie scene with the house and so I had to take a picture:



Today was kinda stressful. I don't like Monday mornings. Especially cold, rainy ones. Ok, no one told me it was supposed to be 40 degrees and rainy! I did have my umbrella and a jacket, but Mom said 50 something degrees and drizzling. Big difference! Needless to say, I was cold! I'll be better prepared tomorrow!

My brain could not seem to function at lab this morning, so afterwords, I bought myself a big chocolate chip cookie to make me happy. And it did for a moment. Yummy...

My test went fine minus the last five totally obscure and random questions. I am NOT giving my geology professor a good evaluation. That was uncalled for in a general ed class.

My math teacher cancelled Wednesday's class... yay!

I saw my advisor. We talked about things I already knew.

I found out that Astronomy honors is filled. Boo. The joy of being a freshman.

An Even Busier Weekend...

November 20 2005
No I'm not dead! I've just been way busy! I'll fill y'all in with the details tomorrow!

Friday: Opera. I love dressing up! Even when it's like 30 degrees!



Saturday: Lots of studying for geology. 18 month date with Garrett at Outback. Yum. We also watched The Empire Strikes Back and The Phantom of the Opera.

Today: Went to the Titans game. So they lost... but it was still fun!



More pictures tomorrow as well. Right now I have to study for my geology test of doom. Feel free to pray for that!