So, I've been sick this weekend, and anytime I'm sick, mom is always sure that we have popsicles handy to make me feel better. And for those who have not enjoyed a popsicle in a while, remember the jokes on the sticks? Well I've encountered several lame ones these past couple of days, like...

Q: What has spots and rides on a fire truck?
A: A fireman with the measles.

Q: What did the dentist give the marching band?
A: A tuba toothpaste.

Q: Where do bees go on their day off?
A: The wax museum.

I think you have agonized enough now...

The point is, anyone above the age of seven cannnot help but roll their eyes over these lame jokes. Whoever writes these jokes needs to be FIRED. Or forced  to listen to country music. Anyhow, that's just my thought for the day.

Tonight we mourn even greater than weeks previous for the elmination of another America Idol contestant. The best one this season. Period, and unquestionably. Simon knew she was the best, but obviously America didn't. Personally, I had picked out Melinda Doolittle as a favorite since her audition. Week after week, she consistently gave the most solid performances, period. Blake can't even sing. Jordin's incredible (her rendition of "I Who Have Nothing" pretty much gave me chill bumps), but she is not as consistently solid.

Some people have criticized Melinda for her "false" humility and her shy countenance, but if you've really watched the show, then you would have seen the transformation of this woman from a timid background vocalist to a bright star. Was anyone else wowed by how she rocked the mic last night?! She owned that stage! She was all over it and having a blast!

Despite what some say, I can see that she is a genuinely humble girl with a sweet spirit, and I know she will is going to go far. Melinda, you better believe I'm going to buy your CD the minute it hits shelves!

So, I've noticed that I'm not shy at all about showing off my videos (speaking of which, check out And The Rocks Cried Out, now viewing on MySpace and Facebook), but I don't like to talk to people about my stories that I write. When I wrote the script for The Case of the African Tsetse Fly, I had no problems with writing the script and then throwing it out there for my talent to see. But then today at work, when my co-workers asked me what I was writing on my computer, I suddenly didn't want them to see or know about them. Why is that? I wonder if the novels and other stories I work on just seem more personal than a script or a video...?

I'm sure most of you have seen the Disney movie "The Kid", where Bruce Willis' character meets his younger self, played by Spencer Breslin. Well, there is a scene where Bruce is talking to an aquaintance about the fact that's he met his younger self, which the woman surprisingly seems to believe. She then tells him that if she younger self were to come visit her, the one thing she would tell her is that everything is going to be ok.

Have you ever thought about what you would say to your younger self if you met him/her? I was just thinking about how God has really given me a burden to reach out younger students, especially those in junior high. I have to admit that have somewhat pushed this aside. Now granted, I do not think nor or even later is the time for to be fully devoted to ministering to these students, but I do believe it is supposed to be a part of my life. And I have noticed that I have been pushing away those thoughts about the way life used to be for me... back when I was in junior high...

Junior high was tough for me. Some how, some way, I was able to withstand many of the temptation and pressures thrown my way during that critical age. I had to cling on so tightly to God... that was when I finally began to understand what a relationship with God was. I had some really high standards for myself that others my age did not have, and that was only by the grace of God.

So as I reflect and remember on those painful times, I wonder what I would say to the twelve or thirteen year old version of myself if she was to fnd her way to modern-day Murfreesboro. And like that woman in "The Kid" I would assure myself that everything would be ok and that it would work out. But I would have to go further that...

I would have to encourage young Amy that to stick with our convictions and standards, but to always seek God above all else, because He will surprise her. I would tell her that high school and college aren't a cakewalk, but they are definitely better than junior high. I would have to tell her that God is going to take her to some great places. I would assure that she will make some strong Christian friends. I would tell her life will consist of many stories that will one day encourage her as a twenty-year old college student that still doubts sometimes that God is there for her. I would tell her to keep journaling, because one day she will look back, realizing the importance of remembering what it was like so that she could more effectively minister to others.

Stay strong, Amy, is what I would tell her. And if thirty-year old Amy came to me today, I'm sure she would share those same words with me. I may not know what the next several years will bring me, or heck, even the next several months, weeks, or days, but I know that if I stay strong and look to God, it will all work out just fine... probably much different than I expected... but all things do indeed work together for the good of those who love Him...

I got all A's this semester! Woot!

Roger Clemens is going back to the Yankees. What a jerk.

I still haven't seen Spider-man 3.

I still haven't been to Disney World either.

It feels really nice to not worry about school, even though I was really enjoying my semester.

I've decided to not do the TobyMac contest. I really wasn't getting inspired. So now I need to write a screenplay for either my soap opera or my parody...

I went to the dentist this morning, and she definitely pulled on my retainer and causeed the glue on one end to come undone. So now I have to go to an orthodontist to either have him glue it back down or take it off.

So how are you???

Tonight we mourn the elimination of a great man... Phil Stacey... tears were shed tonight on the American Idol stage by three ladies that had grown to love this man, inevitably bonded by the Christian faith they all shared. Phil may have not been the best singer, but I could see something in him that is much truer or deeper than talent, and that is faith and devotion to God. And that is an awesome testimony that will surpass this season of American Idol.

So whenever I log into Yahoo to check my e-mail, I always notice the news feed on the home page. It seems like everytime there is something about the Democrats pressing for getting the troops home and ending the war and Bush vetoing it. Am I just imagining things or is this really happening like all the time?!

Apparently neither the Dems nor Bush under social psychological methods of persuasion. If they would meet the opposing viewpoint almost to their extreme, and then slowly but surely progressed closer and closer to what they actually want, they would be much more successful. Neither Bush nor the House/Senate is going to want to meet on middle ground (and in a case of ending a war, I can imagine it would be sorta hard to find a middle ground) so someone just needs to be lure someone in somehow someway. Or just find middle ground and get over it. When I discovered that both the House and Senate were going to be Democrat-majority, my biggest fear was that nothing would be accomplished for this very reason.

But oh well, I guess worse things could be happening...

If only we could all just sit around and sort through things. I have to admit, as a supporter of Bush, that he did not approach the Iraqi situation in an ideal manner, but his stance now is what he believes is the best way to solve the problem. I have no idea whether or not it really is the best way; I just don't think that suddenly pulling the troops out is the answer. The Democrats want a timetable (I think, I don't really keep up with it that much so you can correct me if I'm wrong), which isn't really all that... well it's just difficult. You can't predict what's going to be happening over there in one year. So... I guess I wish the Republicans and Democrats would just spend an afternoon at Starbucks together and say ok, how can we get them out soon, without a certain time set but maybe set goals as to how this war can be ended sooner without immediate withdrawl or surrender?

Anyhow, this was not an angry post, so in return, I ask for you to not leave angry comments.

And on a different note, say a prayer for my TV Production final of doom if you don't mind. My teacher barely taught the material and the terms on the study guide really aren't in the book so... yeah... fun times... bleeeeeeeeeeeeeh... NOT!

So in case you haven't already guessd, I'm a sucker for video contests, even though I've only entered one... but I'm always wanting to enter one but don't normally have the time.

Well TobyMac has turned things around for me. He is hosting a music video contest, and I am definitely going to have to enter this one. The prize isn't nearly as impressive as a MacBookPro (that was the prize for the other one I had entered) but it will still be a good experience if nothing else. Anyhow, I think the song I'm going to do is "I'm For You". I think I can do a lot with it. So I may have to put the Facebook soap opera on hold and do this first, or do the two simultaneously... ooh wouldn't that be something? Two projects at once like a pro... Anyhow, as always, let me know if you want to help!

Tragedy does something to me. It just turns on a switch inside me and allows me to connect a different side of myself. It's easier for me to write when tragedy has striked. This is not to say that I wish for tragedy to happen often so I can write, because that would be horrible. Besides, there are other instances that I find inspirational.

But this morning I realized just how fortunate we are everyday.

I was going my usual way to campus this morning, but I didn't go very far because I was blocked by a school bus and emergency vehicles. I called my mom, who had left shortly before me, just to make sure she wasn't involed with the incident. Thankfully she had not. And I thought about it. Today is the eighth anniversary of Columbine. A similar tragedy struck Virginia just Monday. A wreck happened less than a mile down from where I live. Anyone could have been involved. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. Anyone I know can go at any time.

And they have. Ellen Dent left us on January 9, 2004, and Bruce Gilley left us August 20 of that same year. I didn't know either of them extremely well, but what interaction I had with them was meaningful, and their passings grieved me. I don't know anyone near VA Tech, but I mourn for them. I empathize with them. Shortly after Columbine I read books about a couple of the different victims and felt a connection with one of them that made me feel as if she was a long lost friend.

I hope each and every one of you knows that I love you. And I mean it. With all my heart. Maybe one day I will take the time to tell you how much and what about you specifically. But today just know that you are loved.

I don't know how much longer it's going to take me to write my novel. But I am very inspired now. I hope it continues. But without tragedy. Instead I would like a constant reminder running through my head, how very fortunate we all are to be here today.

School violence is something that has really stuck with me since Columbine. Not too long after the instance I begin to write a novel about a high school shooting that I am still struggling with as I try to give the message of the story justice (although I am resorting to writing a screenplay since I find that much easier and would rather make a movie). Now, it seems more personal because I am a college student just like these kids that just died. I know many of you feel the same way, so let's just continue to lift them up in our prayers.

I thought I disliked directing and liked editing.

I have changed my mind.

If I am truly passionate about a project and feel confident about it, I think directing and I could get along.

Meanwhile... editing is tough... ha ha... I still like to a degree, I mean, it's really neat to put everything together, but it sure is super frustrating. So maybe that isn't the direction I want to head.

I'm starting to think the writing/producing thing is really for me, and possibly some directing... but not so much editing... I just have these stories in my head that I want to share...

But then again, I do like the control... hmm... well I guess I have some time to figure it all out. I might turn a couple of my summer projects to other people for editing and see how that works out for me.

Speaking of summer projects, I think the first one I'll be working on is a soap opera based on the drama of Facebook. The second will probably be a spoof of various movies. After that or between those two I might try a serious music video.

Oh yeah, and does anyone know a super flexible place I could work at for a second job (for the summer only)? I would want to work only like 10 to 15 hours this week, want a few weeks in the summer off, never/rarely ever work weekends, and avoid food and retail at all costs. Yes, I am asking for the impossible. So do have any ideas...?

Happy Easter, everyone!

I must admit, I'm not in much of a mood for deep or reflective thought, but I have to say that I have never, ever been moved by the music in a Sunday morning service as I have today. EVER. In fact, I honestly have a really hard time focusing on the music at all on Sunday mornings. Does anyone else have this problem? Why is it easier to worship on Wednesday nights at AO than Sunday mornings at church? Is it because on Sunday mornings I don't feel as free? Is it because at AO I am among my peers, and thus feel more comfortable? Is it because I just don't like the music as much?

Well anyhow, it was just awesome this morning... it was a great reminder of the reason for this holiday that I take for granted after 20.5 years in church and almost 14 years as a Christian.

So on a completely different note, I have my schedule for fall (as long as I don't change my mind, which is entirely possible). Here are my classes (excluding Single Camera Directing and Producing, which I am still waiting to get approval for):

MW:
-Principles of Marketing
-Social Psychology of Close Relationships
-Abnormal Psychology

TR:
-Media and Messages
(And hopefully Single Cam!)

F:
-Principles of Marketing

On MW I am avaliable at 11 for lunch, TR are still up in the air, and on Fridays I am good either before or after Marketing class.

Here's a list of video projects I would like to work on this summer. Quality is more important to me than quantity, so I don't plan on getting them all done, but if you're interested in helping out, especially with acting but also with behind-the-scenes crew work just let me know and I will love you forever. I really want to make more movies and get more experience before my class next semester, which is supposed to be more challenging than what I am used to...

-A murder mystery (a script I have been working on)
-A spoof of EVERYTHING (Lord of the Rings, Phantom of the Opera, Star Wars, and pretty much everything else)
-A movie based on the book Rebecca (I did this in tenth grade and really want to do it again with my improved movie making skills and editing techniques)
-Star Trek spoof (showing the nerdy side)
-Any other original script I can think of to write...
-And music videos, including but not limited to the songs "Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne and "You're Beautiful" by Paul Wright

Good call, Ryan...

Too bad though it just gives the kid more attention.

This is my first time to follow American Idol, and quite frankly, I am not too happy about it these days. While people were concerned about Simon's ultra mean remarks to the crazies at auditions, I didn't care. And when Brandon, whom I loved dearly and expected to see in the Top 5 was kicked off, I tried not to care. And then week after that... but now, it's gone too far. First Brandon, then Stephanie, and now CHRIS SLIGH?! You've GOT to be kidding me, America. With Phil Stacey, the best male vocalist in the competition in the bottom three, and there's Sanjaya looking on? No way...

I've never been into network television, but because this is potentially the field I am entering, however, I am trying to give it a shot. American Idol seemed to be the best thing on. But man, the voting's jacked up... I didn't want to be one of those fans who felt they had to vote, but now I think I'm going to have to start voting just to keep anyone good on the show!

So here's my deal with the whole Sanjaya thing... the kid's getting a ton pf publicity. He's still on the show because people ARE making a big deal about him. And people are making a big deal because "awww, he's so cute and Simon's so mean to him", and "wow, did you see that new do?!". Seriously, that kid has got to have a publicist now that must be telling him to do these things to get attention. And it's working. Too well.

Simon may be a jerk, but he's right sometimes, and American Idol is a singing competition. But it's turning into a popularity contest, which is sad. But it's just like everything else in life I suppose...

And that's frustrating to me. Sometimes it seems like talent doesn't even matter. Sometimes personality doesn't even matter. It's just status. If someone is somehow popular, then they're golden, and all eyes are on them. It's just ridiculous...

So yeah, why am I surprised by this whole American Idol gimmick? I've seen it present everywhere. It's how the Homecoming Queen gets chosen. It's how the class president gets chosen. Everything's a popularity contest. Is that the way it's going to be in the "real world" when I'm graduating college and trying to get a job? I sure hope not. I hope people actually evaluate me for my ability, my personality, and my ability to get along with others, and not for meeting some status quo.

But anyhow, I don't everyone to think that I'm bitter about anything, and I especially don't want anyone to think that I don't like popular people at all, or that every single election or contest turns in favor of the most popular person, but it's there a lot... and I'm just rambling... But anyhow, if you watch American Idol at all, and if you ever vote, just think about who actually deserves to win.

-The fact that friends that are two years younger than me are still in high school, and that other friends that are two (or even less) years older than me (or heck, maybe even younger than me) are married. Just an observation I made while on Facebook...
-And Disney World. I've never been there (I'm not lying, and you should take me!) but we watched a video about its inner-workings in one of my classes and it made me want to go so much more badly! I don't think I even realized that it consisted of four seperate theme parks. And all that it entails... wow... it just blows my mind... I want to go!

P.S. I think my second minor is going to be in marketing... The fact that I suddenly have an interest in it also blows my mind...

-I heard a Christmas song on the radio yesterday.
-There might be a film major at MTSU soon.
-I have NO idea what to take next semester other than Single Camera Directing and Producing (which should be good - woot!).
-I have no idea what to with the two million electives I am forced to take because my major requires so little (since, mind you, these potential film classes probably won't count, since that would make too much sense).
-I have to file my upper-division form this semester... and as you can tell from the previous points, (minus the thing about the Christmas song) I'm unsure of what to do besides minor in psychology...

Uh... help?

So I typed out most of what I wanted to share with y'all about New York in a Word document, and then I sort of stopped because I was tired of it. And then I never got back to it. And then the longer ago the trip was the less I cared about finishing it. And then I remembered that it was boring and journalistic anyhow (what I wrote, not the trip of course)! So in a nutshell...

It was great fun, freezing cold, challenging, and engaging. Ipassed out a lot of flyers and assembled a lot of Easter eggs. I talked to a Roman Catholic who believes that most any way to heaven is a good way. I talked to a guy who says that the Germans are the most decent and good people on earth and that mathematics holds the answers to the universe. I prayed earnestly over the city as God opened my eyes to the lonliness and pain there.

I survived on a diet of true NY style pizza, various forms of chicken (everything from strips to quesadillas to burritos), a tough cookie, bitter pasta, an amazing chocolate sundae, Airheads, a Subway meatball sandwich (I'm not a fan of Subway.. just for the record), chocolate muffins, water, Starbucks' white chocolate mocha, breakfast bars, and I think about one or two pieces of fruit. I walked five flights of stairs and a few miles every day, and stood for hours that week in various subways and subway stations.

I stayed in a cramped room with five other girls and orange walls. I dodged a leaking sink every morning and night. I broke a shower door. I slept in the JFK airport at 3 AM in the morning.

I endured freezing wind chills and snow.

I experienced paintings by Picasso. I browsed Tiffany's. I saw Phantom of the Opera.

I had an absolute blast... it's definitely in my Top 3 for mission experiences (you have to realize how many mission trips I've been on for that to sound pretty elite... just know that it is). But most importantly, what did I learn from my experience?

I must confess, I stopped having spiritual highs for every trip/retreat/camp/etc. that I went to a few years ago. I got to the point where those didn't really cut it anymore. Only an earth-shattering experience with Him unlike any other is going to give me that feeling of elation.

All that being said, I never experienced a high from this trip. I knew that God was using me but I didn't feel useful. I knew that I was potentially reaching people, but it didn't seem like it. And to me, more than passing out flyers or talking to people on the street or anything else, I felt the most engaged in reaching New York City when praying for the people there... which I can do right here! And not only can I pray for the people there here, but I can also pray for those here who need Him, and those elsewhere who need Him, in places I may never see.

This past Friday night, Garrett took me out to Red Robin. While we were sitting there waiting for our food, I saw a friend of mine from high school (he's younger though and is a senior this year) working there. I called his name and we spoke briefly. He didn't give me many details, but he told me that he had read The Case for Faith (the student edition), a book I had presented to because he seemed willing to read about any religion except Christianity, and said that he found it "informative". That in itself gave me joy and encouragement. Ever since I left that classroom, I've been praying for this guy. Not everyday, but whenever I think of him I pray for him. And it seems that now he is one step closer than he was the last time I saw him.

I can't believe how many times I've dismissed the power of prayer. And I'm so excited to witness a glimmer of how God is working through me in others' lives! If my only reason for living was to reach out to this guy, that would be fine. If that was all God had in His grand plan, it would be ok. And yes, I am pretty much just saying that, with hope that it isn't true, but I also sincerely believe that whatever I am living for, regardless of whether it seems big or small to me or others, is good enough for God, because He created me with a purpose in mind.

All that being said, I am seeing how God might want to use me here. There's that girl in one of my classes that really needs to experience His love. There's the final project in TV Production I am doing with John, Jolene, and Sully, that's going to be about a missionary. There's the documentary I feel like I'm supposed to make next summer for my honors thesis. There's my daily life I am to live for His glory in every way possible, even if it doesn't seem like much.

That's the challenge I have taken from New York. That's the part that matters: living as one who is sent in my daily life. I'm working on praying more, being a better witness, and listening...  listening to where God wants me to go. I don't want to fret anymore about tomorrow... He's got a handle on it. He's been taking care of me.

Speaking of which, in case you haven't heard the news, my dad got a new job! My family is so incredibly excited! It feels like we're finally getting settled here. So anyhow, now he's going to be working at MTSU, so we're also all centralized in one location, which is really neat!

One last word... if you're somewhere in life where you feel defeated by your circumstances, just look up. God's working behind the scenes for you... I promise. I've waited YEARS to see my dad get a job like this, and God has chosen this time to bless my family. And I know that His time is the best time. Waiting for the best is worth it... period.

A novel about my New York experience... there's so much to tell...

Monday night I realized just how dry and stale my spirtual life has been lately. Even during One Weekend as I lead I could sense that there was something missing there that I wasn't completely getting. I haven't been focused on God lately. I had a busy week, and that was my excuse for not spending time in His Word.

Justifying my actions doesn't make them right.

I wasn't focused on God as I should have been, and that was wrong. I'm not going to lie and say I have it all together tonight either. But I'm walking towards the right direction once again.

I really have trivialized the power and importance of prayer. How could I possibly dismiss prayer after the exprience I had the summer after my sophomore year of high school, when I felt so compelled to pray for a boy I did not know and yet I could feel spiritual warfare waging over his soul one night at church camp?

Monday night I came to God half-heartedly... please bless the trip I'm about to go on... blah blah blah... but then I felt a little prick. And it increased throughout the night. First I was convicted about witnessing in my everyday life, and then I was convicted of my lack of zeal as I heard passionate praises around me from others. Where had I gone wrong? Why wasn't I feeling this way?

I had simply taken my eyes off Him.

My latest video project, which I did with John (Dunahoo) and Jolene, is due tomorrow. Just yesterday I was stressed over it. And even though I actually haven't seen the final result, I feel a peace about it, that it's alright and that we have is going to work out, even though we had to cut it up for length and such.

I have another video project coming up right after Spring Break. It's a studio project and I feel anything but prepared, but I know God will get me through it.

Last night I met with a few friends, and we were all able to open up to one another in a way that I know was ordained by God. It was incredible. If we all actually shared with one another and prayed for one another on a regular basis... wow... our lives would be changed... it's incredible to fellowship with believers on that level.

New York is around the corner. I'm not prepared. I'm not ready. But I love God and I love that city, so I will keep my focus on Him and I know that He will guide me through it all.

I've known all the answers for a while now. I can talk predestination, purity, and Paul with you all day long... but I need to get back to the basics in a sense... I just need to get back to loving God. Period. Everything else will flow out of that, and thank goodness it does. I've tried doing things in my own strength for a while, and it doesn't work. But God's always got a handle on it. Thank goodness for that!