Monday night I realized just how dry and stale my spirtual life has been lately. Even during One Weekend as I lead I could sense that there was something missing there that I wasn't completely getting. I haven't been focused on God lately. I had a busy week, and that was my excuse for not spending time in His Word.

Justifying my actions doesn't make them right.

I wasn't focused on God as I should have been, and that was wrong. I'm not going to lie and say I have it all together tonight either. But I'm walking towards the right direction once again.

I really have trivialized the power and importance of prayer. How could I possibly dismiss prayer after the exprience I had the summer after my sophomore year of high school, when I felt so compelled to pray for a boy I did not know and yet I could feel spiritual warfare waging over his soul one night at church camp?

Monday night I came to God half-heartedly... please bless the trip I'm about to go on... blah blah blah... but then I felt a little prick. And it increased throughout the night. First I was convicted about witnessing in my everyday life, and then I was convicted of my lack of zeal as I heard passionate praises around me from others. Where had I gone wrong? Why wasn't I feeling this way?

I had simply taken my eyes off Him.

My latest video project, which I did with John (Dunahoo) and Jolene, is due tomorrow. Just yesterday I was stressed over it. And even though I actually haven't seen the final result, I feel a peace about it, that it's alright and that we have is going to work out, even though we had to cut it up for length and such.

I have another video project coming up right after Spring Break. It's a studio project and I feel anything but prepared, but I know God will get me through it.

Last night I met with a few friends, and we were all able to open up to one another in a way that I know was ordained by God. It was incredible. If we all actually shared with one another and prayed for one another on a regular basis... wow... our lives would be changed... it's incredible to fellowship with believers on that level.

New York is around the corner. I'm not prepared. I'm not ready. But I love God and I love that city, so I will keep my focus on Him and I know that He will guide me through it all.

I've known all the answers for a while now. I can talk predestination, purity, and Paul with you all day long... but I need to get back to the basics in a sense... I just need to get back to loving God. Period. Everything else will flow out of that, and thank goodness it does. I've tried doing things in my own strength for a while, and it doesn't work. But God's always got a handle on it. Thank goodness for that!