i have the awesomest boyfriend ever. and a great new best freind!

well wow.

life's crazy.

i don't even know.

but i'm happy. in general.

so don't worry about me.

well... i want to say to everyone that i'm sorry.

i'm sorry for anything i've ever said that made you feel insignifigant, hurt your feelings, or made me seem like an asshole.
sometimes i don't even realize i'm doing it, and i'm trying to think about things more before i say them, and think about how i'm saying them.

i'm sorry for ever being selfish or only thinking about me. for expecting people to do things for me, like it's my right.

and i'm sorry for ever seeimg or being ungreatful or unthankful. for not thanking you when you did something nice for me.
i'm gonna try to start thinking about thanking people more and not assuming they'll know i'm thankful.

and i'm saying this to everyone.

you've all got Kohry to thank for this revelation. he's amazing. he sits me down, and makes me see me the way i am. and it tears me up. but he knows just how to build me back up to feel better about myself and be a better person.
i'm so naked around him. sometimes it's scary... but i'm so thankful for him.

i love you all so much.

-stephen-

so it's another weekend.

up until a little while ago, i wasn't going to get to see Kohry. but now there's a chance he might come up.

so it's a maybe.

he didn't have a good day.  -_-  i wish i could be there for him.

i'm seeing BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN tomorrow!! or, i'm supposed to. you know how plans never really work out exactly the way you plan them. but still...

^_^

i really miss Kohry.

i really miss my friends.

and i want school to be over so that Kohry can come live here.

and i want my friends to meet him.

it'll happen. i just have to be less selfish and more patient.

peace out bi-atches.

best weekend ever.

it's too much to go inot detail about... but it was amazing.

maybe tomorrow when i'm more awake, i'll give an outline.

love is amazing.

and Korhy is the most amazing thing ever.

well i ended up spending the night shopping with my sister. it was so fun. she got me a cool camo blazer in Hot Topic... and i got most of my family shopping done.

uhm...

i sang her the emo kid song. and she laughed really hard.

Asia and Natalie and some kids came and saw me at work! they are so amazing. really fun people.

omg... i work five days this week. not cool. at least i'll have a ton of money. that's always a plus.

kay. i'monna go make a list of boys i like.

xoxo

so school's almost over.

and the only chirstmas shopping i have left is for family and three frineds.

work today from 2 to 7. at least i don't have to close.

then i'monna show up at Cory Drake's party... cause Carly and Abby want me to.

xoxo

got my phone fixed. or rather, replaced.

hopefully tomorrow is better.

i'm so hung up on "Hung Up"   <3   LOVE IT!!

yup.

ugh. nothing is going right this mroning. my phone keeps turning off, and my car is screwed, and my mom won't come get me for lunch, and i don't want to make another sandwich... cause i'm sick of them, and my dad won't come fix my car till later, and i don't have any plans today.

boo.

but i just discovered Gwen Steafni's new clothing line - Harijuku Lovers. i have mixed feelings about it. on one hand it is CHO KAWAII and i want some of the shirts, but they're cut for girls, and i don't really do that anymore. but i love it. on the other hand... it's what i wrote about a while ago about Jpop becoming popular and how i don't like it cause it's my thing. ah, well... it was at Urban Outfitters, so it's deff a good thing.

<3

kay so i was sitting here watching this Duran Duran DVD that i have... and i'm pretty sure they have the weirdest fucking videos i've EVER seen. ever.

but it was funny.

then i was watching figure skating, and i'm pretty sure Johnny Weir is one of the hottest things to hit the ice.  ::sizzle::  i'm in love with him

i have to work tonight... and i worked till 11 last night. >_<  but i saw my 2nd grade teacher and my elementry school gym coach last night. pretty awesome.

mens' figure skating is by far the BESTsport. ever.

FUN night!!!!

i took Josef to Cafe Coco! i hadn't been since like September. i had my vanilla mocha thingy, and my hummice. ^_^ Jo said he really liked it.

i got to see ALAN and LIBBY!! it was great.

omg, and huge coincindence, Rachel Pearl was there singing! it was so epic. i didn't even know she was gonna be there.

i definetly missed that place.

<3

so Brokeback Mountain isn't playing at our theater. so either, i can't see it tonight, or i have to go to Nashville...

arg.

but i have to work on Carly's late bday present.

{edit} it only opened in NY, LA, and SanFran today...

and now a VERY happy birthday to CARI JENNINGS!

we went to Starbucks for her bday. (i know, i'm there ALL the time!) and saw Nathan Moore and Rebecca St. James! way crazy. and of course a TON of amazing people from school! i'm pretty sure Cari had the best birthday ever. and i'm glad we could give it to her.

i have to admit though, i'm in that funk again where i'm not good enough for myself. and it BLOWS. i feel like i'm just not mature and -college- and coffee-housey enough. and for some reason i feel a little inferior (right word?) about my style, even though i know it's cool and that i like it.

so to me - whatever, stephen.

tons of love

so okay... i felt like it was thrusday all day today. and i was really disapointed when i remembered it was tuesday...

bummer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLY!!!  she's growin up on me. ::tear::

teehee. xoxo

i've been a little bit depressed all weekend. don't know why.

and i have to work a whole lot in the next 3 or 4 weeks. arg.

and then... eh, i'll just say, sometimes, people make me sad.

yup. three lines, all the same length - or so. about how crappy i am lately.

peace out guys.

well, i'll close with a good thing.

i'm pretty sure i've found someone.

traffic sucks.

but... i got Memoirs of a Geisha today. i'm really excited about reading it. and of course, i'monna see the movie  too!

Brokeback Mountain comes out next Friday! very excited about that!

hehehe.

i need a new picture...

i have been SO busy lately... had court today, tons of homework over the week, things to do almost every day, i have to stay after school to redo a test for three days...................... it's so crazy!! i will definetly appreciate this weekend.

<3

so i think i'm going to start spending a lot more time on... ME!

my skin, my hair, my body (inside and out) and my mentality/spirituality.

which means i'll be on the computer a lot less. but i'll still make a point to get on at least once every day.

i'm gonna start really buckling down on my diet. watch what goes into my mouth. this'll help with my skin, as well as my inner body. i'm also gonna have to buy lots of different products - scrubs, toners, lotions, etc. but i think it's way worth it. i think i'll ither A)look into fitness classes at a club or B)buy some tapes to do at home.

and i'm gonna start really practicing my French. i don't exactly know how to go about this, but i recently met a French major at MTSU. ::winkwink:: i just really wanna get it down pat. become fluent. not that i expect to achive this in the near future, but i definetly need to work on it. which leads to focusing more on school too. not a TON more, but more than i am.

all this and a social life too. i'll work on myself around my work and friend schedule, don't worry. beautification will take place mainly in the mornings and evenings. which means going to bed/getting up earlier.

i think it'll produce and happier, even more beautiful me! ^_^ and i know how much you guys love that.

<3 this was mainly for my sake - i just felt like sharing it with friends.

Daddy DJ, please take me to the party
And let me dance along, until the lights are on

You leave me once again home alone
The fridge is full but my heart is achin'
You think I can make it on my own
Just a kiss and you are gone

Another night like a million before
Another party where I'm not invited
As always you'll heat the dance floor
In front of your turntables going mad

Why don't you keep me close to you
I'm not anymore the kid you knew
Why should I stay deep in the blue
I wanna move my body too

Daddy DJ, please take me to the party
And let me dance along, until the lights are on
Daddy DJ, please take me to the party
And let the music play, until the break of day

We've been aside since I meant to be
A part of you that was just awaking
My life with you is a fantasy
I am your prince and you are my king

You say your thing drives sometimes you insane
You think you're no good father and so you're ashamed
But all I want is to share your pain
Clubbin' the night along and having fun

Why don't you keep me close to you
I'm not anymore the kid you knew
I wanna feel this part of you
I wanna move my body too

Daddy DJ, please take me to the party
And let me dance along, until the lights are on
Daddy DJ, please take me to the party
And let the music play, until the break of day

Daddy DJ
Daddy DJ
Daddy DJ

Daddy DJ, please take me to the party
And let me dance along, until the lights are on

saw Rent last night.... or part of it. it wasn't as good as i expected.

i decided that i'm definetly glad that i'm not like most gay guys. they're.... interesting. especially when they're drunk. omg. i laughed.

but yeah. Cody - is this guy in Buckle. i'm not sure if we're talking? but like, he's funny.

yup.

nothing new though. just work-n-stuff.

<3