i wish some of my friends would believe in my dreams a little more.  i know that my biggest one right now probably won't happen, but i have faith that it could.  And just because something happens the same way the first few times, it doesnt mean it will never work.  i mean look at Abraham Lincoln.  he failed more than a lot of us ever have.  and he was one of the greatest presidents ever elected.  so right now i'm hoping and praying and wishing and dreaming that this one time this one dream will work out in the end.  because my wishes might come true.  i believe it.

 

this is my third post OF THE DAY...but i like these quotes

"If you love somebody let them know, don't go off doing stupid things and letting them go."
"Never question if you are in love or not, because if you were you wouldn't need to ask."
"The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt."
"If I love you this much, and I'm not the one for you, then the one for you will be everything I am; and everything I'm not."
"You and her that's what you want. You and me that's what I dream."
"You know when you're truly in love, when all you can do is just be speechless and stare at nothing 'cause you're just amazed that you just found this incredible person."
"I'll surrender my world to you if that is the only way I could become a part of yours."
"I may not be your first, but to be your last would be perfect!"
"Don't let false love fool you, but don't let real love pass you by."
"If you want me to fall for you, you have to give me something worth tripping over."
"You fail to see the one who loves you standing right in front as does she fail to see you love her in turn. Don't wait to tell her, because it might be too late then."

okay GRACE now are you happy GRACE you are now my friend GRACE along with other people GRACE!  i have friends now GRACE, ya happy?.....GRACE

hahaha

okay there you go

so, i'm pretty excited about today...i get to spend the night with a friend tonight...woo.  and we have mime.  and it's rainy!  sorta.  i know, that's weird, but I love the rain.  I love sunshine, too.  but rain is pretty.  i just got this new cereal...yum.  it's special k chocolatey something or a nother.  i can't remember.  but it's good!  lol.  i had a great dream lastnight.  i wish dreams came true ; ).  i want a car...and a phone.  i went swimming yesterday.  it was really cold and then my cousin dropped her phone in the pool!!!  it was bad...she was absolutely hysterical.  *YIKES*  i don't want to start reading for high school...it's the summer!  but i have to.  I decided that in high school i'm really going to try.  maybe i won't end up with a bad grade in science!  i'm excited because my aunt is starting this store and for her fall line, i get to be a model!!  woo...i've always wanted that. k bye

so, i haven't done like, an "update" post in a while...so i think i will.  my life has been sorta cooky lately.  i'm having some disagreements with some people.  i'm tired.  i'm bored.  and so on!  So, what's up with you people?  I'm really excited about saturday...i get to see my friends *one of whom i haven't seen since summer started ;)* that doesnt seem like that long...but when you are at home...with nothing to do, it really is!  I'm learning some awesome new songs on the piano

1) "Desperado" by the Eagles

2) "Amazed" by Lonestar (such a sweet song)

3) "It's Your Love" by Tim and Faith

4) "Set Me Free" by Casting Crowns (is that right?)

5) "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith...AAAH I LOVE THAT SONG

something I discovered this week is that the lead singer for aerosmith is really REALLY ugly.  and old.  So yeah, how's your summer been?

~carmen loves austin~

(and if you have a problem with it, please don't talk about me.  thanks)

 

you know, i've felt pain FOR someone...but never felt it WITH someone...until now.  It hurts when you see someone you love hurting.  I really don't know what else to say except that I don't understand

Funny Videosoh my gosh this is hilarious!!!  they spelled "rhapsody" wrong though.  i think this guy's got some problems...

okay wow.

is it possible to be in love at 13?  because if it is i really honestly think i am

i know i sound stupid and all but...i dont know what else to do.  well lets just say i'm in LIKE.  a lot.  a whole lot.  i get nervous when i think about the person i get butterflies when i'm around them...it's getting hard to talk to them...AAAAAAAAAH.  i think i'm going crazy.  but right now i'm just really happy...happyful.  woo.  thanks for listening to me ramble

TIME FOR SOME POETRY (I wrote it!)  ick maybe don't read it...it's all sappy. that's what i do on bad days

So softly and gently do the tears fall, as I sit here with thoughts of him gracing my memory. I wish that he was forever mine to hold...to say "I love you" to and to worry about...but he's not. She's perfect, that girl he's crazy for...and so is he. So, I guess they are a match made in Heaven. But I don't want to believe that. Not now, and not later. He doesn't know how bad I want him, and he really doesn't know how badly I need him...my heart longs for him; it's uncontrollable. His words chase away my sanity, day by day...his smile makes me melt and when he says my name...my heart stops. Slowly but surely, as the sun rises and sets, my love for him and carelessness for others is growing. For only when he is mine will I be satisfied with my heart. The heart that cries constantly for him to grace my presence one last time. I want him to hear my last words...I want him to be my last words...I want me to be his last words...

============whaddya think============

this is one i wrote quite a while back.  well not really that long.  no, it doesn't have any significance

oh who am i kidding??  of course it has significance...hehe

=======time to apologize=======

Well, I want to apologize to nathan.  I’m sorry if I offended (is that the right word?) you in any way.  I know that some of the comments I made about the new version were a bit harsh and for that I’m sorry.  It’s just, people like me get confused really easily.  And its not that bad.  I know you worked (and are still working) VERY hard on this and for that, I thank you!

 

omg this sounds like me

hey that rhymes

i collect dimes

ok i'm gonna stop now

your face looks like a cow

okay bye

don't try to fly

cuz it doesnt work

you'll just get hurt

okay good bye for real

don't slip on a banana peel

okay i'm confused.  i don't want to say why because i don't want this person to know how i STILL feel about them...even though that SO gave it away.  so could you guys please pray.  i feel over burdened.  does that make sense?  but yeah, it's still there.

I really felt like i was supposed to put this on here...i think some people could use it right about now. 

"Happy is the person whose sins are forgiven, whose wrongs are pardoned.  Happy is the person whom the Lord does not consider guilty and in whom there is nothing false.  When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me.  I moaned all day long.  Day and night you punished me.  My strength was gone as in the summer heat.  Then I confessed my sins to you and didn't hide my guilt.  I said, 'I will confess my sins to the Lord,' and you forgave my guilt.  For this reason, all who obey you should pray to you while they still can.  When troubles rise like a flood, they will not reach them.  You are my hiding place.  Yo protect me from my troubles and fill me with songs of salvation.  The Lord says,'I will make you wise and show you where to go.  I will guide you and watch over you.  So don't be like a horse or donkey, that doesn't understand.  They must be lead with bits and reins, or they will not come near you.'  Wicked people have many troubles, but the Lord's love surrounds those who trust him.  Good people, rejoice and be happy in the Lord.  Sing all you whose hearts are right." Psalm 32 (NCV)

Right now, I'm kinda thinking that maybe the reason God doesn't help us sometimes is because we are too 'high and mighty' to let someone else help us out.  we are prideful.  well maybe it's time to step off of our throne and let the real King help us out.

"Pride will ruin people, but those who are humble will be honored.  Partners of thieves are their own worst enemies.  If they have to testify in court, they are afraid to say anything.  Being afraid of people can get you into trouble, but if you trust in the Lord, you will be safe.  Maybe people want to speak to a ruler, but justice comes only from the Lord.  Good people hate those who are dishonest, and the wicked hate those who are honest." Proverbs 29:23-27 (NCV)

"A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.  The accomplice of a thief is his own enemy; he is put under oath and dare not testify.  Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.  Many seek an audience with a ruler, but it is from the Lord that man gets justice.  The righteous detest the dishonest;the wicked detest the upright." Proverbs 29:23-27 (NIV)

I like that word detest.  The Lord DETESTS pride.  He hates it.  Sometimes we let our pride get to us...and we don't let GO and let GOD.  God will be there, day and night, year after year, sometimes we just don't see him standing right in front of us.  It's as simple as saying, "God, I'm sorry.  I've sinned, been prideful, and I didn't give everything to you.  I know I can't hide anything from you, so here it is!"...That's all there is to it.  LET GO AND LET GOD.

"Whomever the Son sets free, he will be free indeed!" John 8:36

LOVE YOU ALL

i asked him to prom today!  he said he wasn't going.  oh well, at least i didn't get rejected.  maybe he will go...oh just shut up self.  (i converse with myself occasionally...lol)  not really.  i took pictures of my prom dress...i'm gonna put them on here.  oh my goodness when megan asked him for me...he was with joseph and austin was like, "What?"  in this really high pitched voice...and then joseph was like, "=hilarious silly gasp noise= you're going to prom with carmen!!!"  it was hilarious.  i think he likes me...even though i'm told otherwise.  i don't think i care what anyone thinks.

LUV YA LOTS

+macchiato+

if you really knew me, you'd know...

1.  I am NOT comfortable with myself

2.  I hide my pain with a smile...sometimes a laugh or two

3.  Just because I don't make straight A's does not mean that I am not gifted because i am and i know it

4.  I am dreading prom

5.  I also like a guy who will never like me back (I thought he did...)

6.  I'm smarter and stronger than people think

7.  My whole life I've wondered what love is and thought i figured it out a few times...but i still havent.

8.  I've also wondered what makes people popular and why can't i have those attributes

9.  When you lie to me once, it's VERY hard to gain my trust back.

10.  I've been used. (partially)

11.  I don't like criticism...unless its constructive.  but even still, i have a very hard time accepting it.

12.  I might be asking someone to prom.  But i doubt myself...i have low self-esteem issues

13.  I have a phobia of new people

14.  I don't understand why the heck some people are such jerks to me when i didn't do a single flippin' thing in the world to them.  I don't understand how people can be so unfeeling.  Some people are two-faced and don't see it...but others do. 

15.  I am very hurt at the moment

i dont know anymore.  i don't want to do anything...with my "friends".  i just want to sit home and cry.  i put on a happy face because i don't want people to worry about me...but i don't guess it really matters.  i'm not asking for attention here, i'm asking for prayer because i need it!  I am begging you!  I don't like this...i want to be happy...again.  so, pray for me and grace...please.  sometimes i'm really super happy but then i'm just not...and i want to cry and sit at home...please pray.

THANKS

oh my flippin gosh

i told him.  he is happy.  i is happy.  we is happy.  we is not dating.  dang.  carmen likes austin.  yup yup yup.  austin likes carmen.  probably probably probably.  this is what i hear, anyways.  you know, for me to be so flippin excited, you could never tell by my creative use of punctuation

okay, i dont know what to do.  i really like him, but i dont know.  I want him to know, but then again, i dont.  i haven't told him yet.  NEW PERSONAL RECORD!  lol.  i've heard a lot of stuff...but i don't want to like really think he likes me and then get my "heart broken" because it was just my friends trying to make me feel better.  He acts like it, but i can't figure out if i'm leading myself on or not.  that's like really the reason i want him to know.  he's cool, but i dont want to freak him out.  i am so stuck.  this is crazy but i dont know what to do.  i know this won't last forever...but whatever.

my day was kinda stinky.  we were doing something in literature where you had to circle a problem you thought was big in our school.  i circled rejection.  i put my signature smiley face with it.  (keep in mind it's just a smiley face on an eraser board.)  someone said something about it...and the teacher was like, "Who did that?"  well, i raised my hand..."honesty pays off"...sure.  so, she says, "FOLLOW THE RULES!"  i thought that was so stupid...i was just messing around...that's not something to get mad about.  it was so embarrassing because all my friends and stuff are in that class...i was mad.  then, in mr. cochran's class, he got mad at me for answering someone's question.  AUSTIN said,"You had a bad day...that's okay it will be better tomorrow..."  so sweet!  then he patted me on the back...he does that quite frequently.  (i'm telling you megan!  just watch him!)  Then, i heard that the literature teacher wrote me up...but she didn't, thankfully.  And I forgot...we are reading this stupid book (if you could even call it such) in English...(homeroom) and it's so stupid.  it's gruesome and it makes me like uncomfortable and i don't see the point in it.  i could read a chapter in my social studies book and get the same thing.  The teacher said that she was going to stop reading because it was almost time to leave...the class said, "NO!"  I said, "It's okay, you can stop!"  She kinda got mad...then she read my journal because i told her that i wrote about what i really thought in the journal...she probably hates me now.  but when i have an opinion on something, it's going to be spoken, heard, and listened to.  I'm a pretty strong-willed person when it comes to some things.  I had a bad day, but not so bad...tehe.  I'm just lucky to have Jesus on my side.  I'm also lucky to have as many friends as I do...especially THAT ONE!!! lol.  Well, I hope you had a good day.  I just thought I would let it all go.  i'm physically and mentally exhausted.

I'm a sucker for...

1. guitar players 2. Tenors 3. Smart guys 4. Animal lovers 5. Blondes 6. Blue-eyed hunks...lol 7. A GOD-SERVING GUY 8. Tall guys (but not too tall!) and last, but not least...SANTA!!!!

remember, i heart guys that heart music...lol

hi people.  i'm enjoying life, you could say.  i don't think i'm going to post any more of my story, but i might.  if i'm going to get it published, i don't want everyone to read it first!  Then, when (if) they get the book, it spoils the surprise...but i probably will post a little more.  when i write more, that is!  Anyways,

carmen likes someone!  duh.  i also just got some new songs for my iPod!  i need ideas, though.  I can't decide (or think of) which songs to put on there.  I hate science fair experiments.  i REALLY don't like them at all.  for like the first time in my life, i'm looking forward to school tomorrow.  woo school.  sometimes i don't understand...i wish i did.  i'm really confused right now.  I like Leeland.  They're purty dang cool.  Oh, durn.  I'm not looking forward to school tomorrow...nevermind.  We are staying in algebra all stinkin' day to prep for Gateway.  Why do they test us so much?  I HATE IT.  But, i get to spend all day with my friends...cool!  i'm quite bored.  bored out of the mind i don't have.

i went to a baseball game on wednesday with neely...it was fun!  i didn't know austin was the pitcher.  i think it's funny to watch people pitch.  okay...hi...tata

t.t.y.l.a.y.w.p.t.i.l.a.a.b.

n.r.c.i.d.e.k.s.o.y.b.a.b.i.g.w.n.r.

b.i.n.l.j.n.w.a.