Amber: "you're the warrior that i've been waiting for!!! you're my defender!" :o)

Mom : "Man, he's got his motorcycle PiMpEd out."
Me: (laughs hysterically)

*hmm... guess i don't have that much to say... my daddy went to the hospital this morning... i slept through it all... my cousin called earlier to tell me he can take me to work if i need him to... so he told me about it... something about my dad hurt his back... so i dunno... but i think he'll be okay..

*yesterday me and mom went shopping for another formal... i found a pretty one that goes great w/ the shrugg mom made for the othe formal. yay!!! i'm set!!! it was fun just to spend some time w/ mum... i know that this whole college thing is hard on her... but i know she'll be okay... she told a friend of ours that when we were all kids she told herself that we were all "visitors"... haha... i got the biggest kick out of it! how did she know my brother was really an alien?! i mean... i took me a few year to catch on to that one. lol ;) anyways... i need to shut up and go.. love you guys! ~Hope

yup... that's umm... let me get a calculator... hmmm... 3x7+2=23days! i can't believe that i leave for school in 23 days! that's just madness! i don't think it will really set in until the last week before college. i can't wait to see what God's got instore... i know that this is going to be a time to draw closer to Him. i know college isn't going to be the cake walk that high school was... i mean... you're talking to the girl who didn't try and got B's all the time... i'm sure i'll have to work for C's! that's going to kill me! but i'll be good. anyways... i know that was so random... but that's what's really on my mind lately. lol. ~Hope

ohhh the bliss! lol. i came over to shelby's house... we "watched" Million Dollar Baby. ewe both actually fell asleep. hehe. anyways... we had pizza for lunch and then we headed to the mall. i got a pillow thing for my bed at schoo. heck yes!! anyways... i'll talk to you guys later. ilu. oh... and comments are appreciated. ;) ~Hopes

so there's been a friend from work who i've been praying for for... over a year now. as far as i know... she doesn't know Christ. like... i can't tell you the burden that God has given me for her. and like... i dunno... sometimes i just feel so helpless... b/c i dunno... i just hurts sometimes. tonight she got a call that her grandmother has cancer... she was so upset (i would be too i'm sure)... but my GM grabbed me and Amber... and asked us to lead in prayer. so we got to pray over her... and i know you're saying..."so what? you prayed over her... you've done that for other people." and yeah... maybe that's true... but she's never allowed us to do that. that's huge to me! i really just want to ask you guys to pray for her.. pray for her grammy... and pray for her.. that this would draw her to Christ... and not push her away from Him.. pray that she'd see her need for Him. pray that i would be a testimony and encouragement to her. thank you, guys. i love you all...

-Third Day
Who is this King of Glory that persues me with his love
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words
My conscience, a reminder of forgiveness that I need
Who is this King of Glory who offers it to me

Who is this King of angels, O blessed Prince of Peace
Revealing things of Heaven and all its mysteries
My spirit’s ever longing for His grace in which to stand
Who's this King of glory, Son of God and son of man

His name is Jesus, precious Jesus
The Lord Almighty, the King of my heart
The King of glory

Who is this King of Glory with strength and majesty
And wisdom beyond measure, the graceous King of kings
the Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
Who is this King of Glory, He's everything to me

The Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
He is the King of glory, He's everything to me

**1 Chron. 29:11 "Thine, O Lord, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine, thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted above all."

just 11 days until i hit the 10 month mark of not dating. (which mean i just have 2 months an 11 days left!!!) it's so amazing. in one way it feels like this year has flown... and at the same time... it feels like it's been a long time. i'm so glad that God has totally changed my focus... and yeah... somedays are still major struggles... i'm still a girl... i still have a desire to grow up and get married.. but i want to wait on God's timing... i want to use the time i have as a single to reach out in other ministries... experience some of the things i won't get a chance to later. it's crazy... b/c it feels like marriage is just around the corner... and yet... it feels like it'll take an eternity. but i know that the wait will be so worth it. one day i'm going to look back on all the tears and struggles (maybe even mistakes)... and be overjoyed everything that God did through it all. i hope that my story only point to His goodness and glory. i can't wait to see what He's got instore for this next semester!!! i'm pumped!

1 Chron. 16:10 "Glory ye in His holy name: let the heart of them that rejoice the seek the Lord."

1 Chron. 29:11 "Thine, O Lord, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine, thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted above all."

I call, You hear me
I've lost it all
And it's more then I can bear
I feel so empty

Your strong, I'm weary
I'm holding on
But I feel like giving in
But still You're with me

(Pre-chorus and Chorus)
And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Who's love will comfort me
And when my hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me

I know I'm broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
Your always with me

And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Who's love will comfort me
And when my hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me
He will carry me

(Bridge)
And even though I feel so lonely
Like I have never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said You'd see me through the storm

And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Who's love will comfort me
And when my hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me
He will carry me
He will carry me

*so for the past few days i've had the most random verse running trhrough my head.

*Proverbs 12:15 "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that harkeneth to counsel is wise."

** and it hits me... how many times do i follow my own way and think i'm just doing great? wow... i'm such a fool. i think God's trying to remind me that i like to take God w/ me... insted of going w/ God. and yeah it may seem like a good idea. but i forget that i serve a God who knows more than i do... in human terms i may seem intelegent... but when was the last time i created an entire universe? when was the last time that i breathed life into someone's lungs? when was the last time i gave my own life for the eternity of millions? and my answer is never. i forget that i'm really "as dumb as a box of rocks" (as Am says). and i forget that it's better to trust God than to be confident in myself. i forget that God sees over, around, underneath, and through my sitaution. b/c sometimes i can't see the forest for the trees. God sees the big picture... i just the see the puzzle peice. anyways... i just thought i'd share that. i know it was random. hehe

* hey guys, not too much new going on...

*yesterday i ran into my former best friend (who i still consider one of my best friends)... who i haven't really hung out w/ in a year... i mean i've tried to call her... and she was always busy w/ dance practice and play practice during the school year... so i wrote her a note and she wrote one back saying that we needed to get together... i went to her play... and called her after that... haven't heard from her since. but we decided to hang out on Wed. i'm so nervous. you guys have no idea the way i feel about her... she's like my sister... and even tho we aren't as close... not a day goes by the i don't remember our times together. and i'm finding out that she feels the same way. it's crazy. i really can't wait to just sit down and talk to her... see what God's doing in her life... see what all's going on. i can't wait :o)

*so i'm beginning to learn more about myself as a girl... you know... i'm not one to sit down and explain or think about how i feel about love.... like.. i dunno... i'll talk about what i'm looking for in a man... and what i think love really is... but i've never really thought about what i as a girl need... or feel i need. guys need respect from love... the kind of respect that isn't always deserved... i mean.. guy don't need to be told that they're jerks.. most of them already know that... but they need for their woman to stand behind them. to cheer them on. girls need to be adored... that's a desire that each one is looking for... we just want someone to be captivated by our beauty... inward and outward. we want our men to just be absolulety satisfied and overjoyed that we are theirs and theirs alone. we want to have their full attention. men need to be praised for their accomplishments and character... and even tho we do too... we want to be praised as mothers and wifes.. we want to be praised for looking pretty or smelling good. we jus want to be considered beautiful. and i know that so many of us don't believe that we are when guys to compliment us... and guys, you have to be understanding... b/c so many of us have been lied to about it... we've been hurt by people who knew how to use our desires for their own gain... who loved themselves more than us. . we've been sweet talked too many times to count. there's girls out there that have lost the one thing most precious to them... the one thing that's really theirs b/c some boy said he loved her. we doubt that anyone can ever really love us for who we are and how God made us. we've built up walls trying to protect our hearts...

**but you know what girls, it's time for us to let God heal us... it's time for us to let HIM think we're beautiful. it's time for us to let God have all our fears of being played again... of being rejected again. it's time for us to trust Him w/ our love stories. it's time to let Him show us that there are godly guys out there that want to love us like Jesus loves the Church. girls, don't forget to wait for God's timing... Rachael is always telling me "God is faithful when i am faithless." Amen, sister. Amen.

*so today i went w/ Whitney to somewhere in AL to a family get together. i really enjoyed it. even tho i really didn't know any of their family... it felt like home... they pretty much welcomed my w/ open arms. i loved it.

*we played wiffle ball... i'm not quite as bad as i thought i was (*key word* quite)... one of the guys smacked into a tree limb and it took a chunk out from under his eye... it was not good. but they took him to the hospital and he didn't need stiches so that's a blessing.

*today was a blessing to just get away... and not think about much of anything but enjoying everyone's company.

*so things are going great... God's laid a few names of people who to the best of my knowledge... don't know Christ... it's exciting tho... b/c i feel like God's begining to give me a burden for people who don't know Christ... like... for a while i knew that i should be witnessing but that really wasn't a main concern of mine... and i think God's beginning to change my heart.

*i need you guys to pray for a friend of mine... i feel like God's placed something on my heart to say to this person... but He's closed the door the last 3 times i've planned to talk to this person. i still believe that i'm supposed to talk to this friend... but i think maybe God's preparing this friend's heart to hear me. so please just pray for my friend please. i'm really concerned.

*anyways... you guys have a great week. i love you all... and i'll post more later.

*Mikey's home!!! me and Amber got to go w/ his mommy to the airport :) on the way there we saw a guy eating his boogers... it was nasty... and umm... yeah... Mike is dark... and umm.... i'm happy he's home :) fUn TiMeS.

*since last night was kid's night Smitty the clown was there... i still don't like clowns but i find myself just watching him... he doesn't seem very happy.... and i mean... he muct love being a clown... b/c you don't become a clown for the money. lol... but no... really... i wonder if he knows Jesus... i might talk to him some time... if i can get past the scary wig, that is.

*some kid took a poo in the play place last night... guess who got to clean it up? lol... we had to close the play place for the rest of the night... oh darn.. lol.

*today i finally found my last peice for my flute audition when i get to school. i'm so happy! one less thing to stress over... and umm.. it's my favorite classical peice too!

*i'm making some of my Christmas presents now... i've decided that i don't want to spend much money at Christmas b/c i'm a "poor college student". lol. i know i'll be usuing that excuse for the next 4 years. tihe

*yeah... i know this post is silly and random.... but my life is really random right now... it switches between school and work and friends... and God's in the mix there too... it's just so crazy right now... i can't wait for it to settle down. lol... not that i don't like the excitement... it just makes me tired.

"but it takes a man of true strength to be gentle and be able to set it down w/ care"

*Amber's post reminded me of that... it's something that one of our CIT (camper in training) speakers said last year. and it's really stuck w/ me. any fool can snort and stomp and yell and demand respect... but a true man of strength is going to be more gentle... he's going to care about the people around him... he's going to protect the women... he's going to serve others above himself. and i'm so glad that i've gotten a chance to know some men like that. i consider that so attractive. i mean... i know some cute boys and whatnot... but i love to be around true men . that's who God created guys to be. and men like that don't have to demand respect... people just natuarally do. people natuarally follow a man like that. because they trust him. anyways... i know that's totally random...

*"And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me in the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none." -Ez. 22:30

**this passage just really sobers my thoughts because it just puzzles me... of all the men and women of God, He found no one. and it brakes my heart... a city was destroyed because no one had the guts to "stand in the gap" to tell everyone that destruction was ahead if they didn't repent and turn from their sin. and then it hits me... i haven't been standing in the gap either. i've prayed that God would help me be a light... and yeah... maybe i have a good reputation and testimony... but i really haven't told anyone that "hey, destruction's coming if you don't repent and turn to Christ" i think that sometimes i don't stress to myself enough tha hell is really real... i forget that if i don't tell the people around me (even some of my so called "friends"). and it brakes my heart.

Lord, i pray that you would change my heart. that i would stop thinking about me and fearing rejection... or not being willing to be "uncomfortable" inorder to tell others about your Holiness and Justice and Love. help me not to forget the consiquences of sin. help me to remember that you paid for my life and my eternity. help me to be passionate enough about that to open my mouth. God, save my friends... help my not to fear what they'll think of me... help them to see you through me. God, i want to stand in the gap. i want to blow the trumpet that danger is coming. God, once again... help my friends to know you... and find a deeper love than they've ever known. in Christ. amen

hey guys... so i went to the ranch tonight... it was great. i can't tell you how much i love to be there... i mean... just to be around so many people that love God and want to serve Him... just a visit is almost like being a camper again. lately i've been kind of descouraged b/c i work w/ friends that are Christians... but i work w/ a lot of people who aren't Christians... not to say i don't like or love those people... it's just very trying on one's spirit. i feel like i haven't been myself lately. last night i got voted the meanest leader... that really hurt... i know that they were joking... but i also know that i can be mean... it's hard... and i know that this pride that i've been holding affects it. tonight the speaker preached about witnessing... but he talked about it in a way that i have never heard before... he spoke on Ez. 33:7-11... and how God has placed you and me as watch over the spiritual lives of those around us... and how we're the ones who sound the trumpet b/c of the danger of sin... and the punishment of sin... and how we're supposed to tell others about sin... and about forgiveness and eternal life. and God didn't say "play an impressive song" He says "sound the trumpet... so they know about the danger"... just blow that puppy... don't worry about what it sounded like... and don't worry about how people will react... just do what you were placed there to do. and it just really convicted me b/c... yeah.. people know that i'm a Christian... but do i tell them about Christ? i really don't... do i tell them that the "wages of sin is death?" or that the "gift of God is eternal life?" no! i don't... i hold it in. i may be "shinning my light" but i'm not "blowing my trumpet"... so yeah... i really got a lot out of the message... anyways... i need to go to bed... i have to work in the morning... night all. ~Hope

today was pretty good. i saw an old friend at work. he used to come to my old youth group... he was surprised that i remembered him. lol. it was cool... hmmm... he may be applying at Chick-fil-A... so yeah... ummm... not too much going on... hmmm.... i'm looking for something meaningful to say... but i'm just not finding anything. i'm just emotionally spent i guess... tomorrow night i'm visiting the Bill Rice Ranch for service... so hopefully that will be good.. and then i'm sure i'll hang out w/ my brother and all his friends over there. i like it when my brother includes me :) hehe hmmm.... errrr.... hmmm... i guess that's all i got... i know it stinks... but oh well... night... ~Hope

"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." -Phil. 2:2 hmmm... i've got a lot to learn. word.

God never moves without purpose or plan.
When trying His servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the Lord though your testing seems long;
In darkness He giveth a song.

O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

I could not see through the shadows ahead;
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead,
I bowed to the will of the Master that day;
Then peace came and tears fled away.

O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

Now I can see testing comes from above,
God strengthens His children and purges in love.
My Father knows best, and I trust in His care;
Through purging more fruit I will bear.

O rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

hmmm... not too much to say. life is pretty good. i'm getting ready for school. it's about 5 1/2 weeks away :) umm... yeah... i feel so loved when people tell me all about missing me. i'm going to miss so many people. i can't even begin. i'm so blessed w/ family and friends... i have so many friends... the list is countless. God has really blessed me w/ that. and i'm excited to make new friends. i am who i am because of the influence that each person has made... not matter what amount of time they were in my life. :) anyways... umm... God's amazing! and i know that there's so much to experience ahead! ~Hope

*wow... i can hardly believe that i only have three months left. it's crazy b/c it feels like yesterday i made the commitment. the other night i went through and wrote down everything that i've learned so far. it's so amazing. God has changed me in so many ways. the hard thing is that he never really changed my desire... He just changed my focus... but somedays are harder to focus on Him than others. i've learned that the days that i don't spend time in His word are the hardest. i know that God is writing my love story... and i'm just going to wait.

*on another note in church tonight i came across these awesome verses...

"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and every sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of God." -Isaiah 53:4-5

the thing that stuck out the most to me was that Christ endured the cross because He saw joy ahead... do know what that joy was? you and me coming into a true relationship w/ Him. is that not amazing? He saw that as joy! the kind that makes you happy to be around that person... the kind that makes you smile as you look back on memories of that person... the kind that goes hand in hand w/ a love that puts the other person before self. Proverbs 8:30 says that i'm daily His delight. man... i just can't praise Him enough for it.. b/c that's something that i've longed for... just to be thought of all the time... just to be remembered... just to be important to someone... just to be delighted in... just to be constantly loved. and i'm ashamed that i haven't seen that i already had that in Christ. food for thought.

*last night at work was crazy insane anyways... but as i was opening the back door to get rid of a box i heard a crash behind me. when i turned around to see what happened my General Manager ,Jeff, was laying on the floor right outside the freezer. he had been getting fry boxes out and he had on the wrong shoes so he slipped and fell and hit his head on something. he was bleeding. so me and Kevin (who was incharge) got him some ice. Jeff was walking around the kitchen saying that he felt light headed... one of the girls told him to sit down. Kevin and I found the phone and i called 911 while Cassie put pressure on his head. it wasn't his wond that i was worried about... i was worried about him going into shock... we would have had a hard time if he passed out on us. the paramedics arrived and took him. i think he's okay. we had prayer after he left. that was nice. yeah... last night ended well i'd say... the hard thing was that after a day of stress everyone was just drained... hehe... but i know i slept well :) it just really made me appreciate the people who do emergency stuff and all... and it made me grateful for the fact that i've never had to call 911 before... and i'm glad that it wasn't worse b/c it could have been.

*things are still going well...

*i'm getting more and more excited about college. last night one of my favorite guy friends asked me to stay and go to MTSU insted... he said that he really didn't want me to go so i asked him why.. and he told me that he'd miss me... and it nearly broke my heart, but i know that God wants me to go to PCC. there have been too many confermations... (besides the fact that i really don't like MTSU)... but yeah... it's hard. the thing that i hate most is that everything is going to change while i'm gone and i'm not going to be here to experience it all. i'll come back and everything and everyone will be completely different. it also hurts that almost everyone has a negetive oppinion toward Pensacola Christian. i know that they are strict... but if i don't have a problem w/ abiding by their rules i don't understand why everyone else cares about it. they're not going there... i am. i just wish they could be happy that i'm in God's will. i wish that they could be happy that i want to serve God. but there's no pleasing some people. it just hurts when those people are people that i love and respect. it just hurts. but i won't let it stop me. i'll never let it stop me. and it really makes me appreciate the people who do stand behind me. who respect my decision. i'm especially grateful for Amber whose actually excited for me. Amber, you don't know what that means. i feel like you're my cheerleader... and i hope that i can do the same for you and others :) "the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away"

*on a happier note... we bought my pattern for my shrugg to go over my formal... it's going to be cute and we also bought a pattern for my khaki shirt since i can't find one that doesn't stop half way up my thigh. lol. yay! i'm learning to sew! haha.. this should be interesting

photo from beautiful_letdown7

^ that's me and Amber last night at Kids castle :)

*me, Amber, and Racheal all went swimming last night. yes! we had a great time :D tihe

*i watched "Hide and Seek" for the first time w/ Amber and her parents last night. her dad feel asleep and started snoring. lol. but other than that i like the movie. but it wasn't as scary as i excpected.

*Amber and John are going out now.. it's craziness i tell ya. :)

*anyways.. today was *great*

*and i'm learning to be open w/ people about how i really feel about things and not be afriad of them getting upset w/ me. i learning that i don't have to feel trapped. i'm learning that people listen. and they do care. anyways.... this was a random post... night guys! love God and follow Christ! ~Hope