* hey guys, not too much new going on...

*yesterday i ran into my former best friend (who i still consider one of my best friends)... who i haven't really hung out w/ in a year... i mean i've tried to call her... and she was always busy w/ dance practice and play practice during the school year... so i wrote her a note and she wrote one back saying that we needed to get together... i went to her play... and called her after that... haven't heard from her since. but we decided to hang out on Wed. i'm so nervous. you guys have no idea the way i feel about her... she's like my sister... and even tho we aren't as close... not a day goes by the i don't remember our times together. and i'm finding out that she feels the same way. it's crazy. i really can't wait to just sit down and talk to her... see what God's doing in her life... see what all's going on. i can't wait :o)

*so i'm beginning to learn more about myself as a girl... you know... i'm not one to sit down and explain or think about how i feel about love.... like.. i dunno... i'll talk about what i'm looking for in a man... and what i think love really is... but i've never really thought about what i as a girl need... or feel i need. guys need respect from love... the kind of respect that isn't always deserved... i mean.. guy don't need to be told that they're jerks.. most of them already know that... but they need for their woman to stand behind them. to cheer them on. girls need to be adored... that's a desire that each one is looking for... we just want someone to be captivated by our beauty... inward and outward. we want our men to just be absolulety satisfied and overjoyed that we are theirs and theirs alone. we want to have their full attention. men need to be praised for their accomplishments and character... and even tho we do too... we want to be praised as mothers and wifes.. we want to be praised for looking pretty or smelling good. we jus want to be considered beautiful. and i know that so many of us don't believe that we are when guys to compliment us... and guys, you have to be understanding... b/c so many of us have been lied to about it... we've been hurt by people who knew how to use our desires for their own gain... who loved themselves more than us. . we've been sweet talked too many times to count. there's girls out there that have lost the one thing most precious to them... the one thing that's really theirs b/c some boy said he loved her. we doubt that anyone can ever really love us for who we are and how God made us. we've built up walls trying to protect our hearts...

**but you know what girls, it's time for us to let God heal us... it's time for us to let HIM think we're beautiful. it's time for us to let God have all our fears of being played again... of being rejected again. it's time for us to trust Him w/ our love stories. it's time to let Him show us that there are godly guys out there that want to love us like Jesus loves the Church. girls, don't forget to wait for God's timing... Rachael is always telling me "God is faithful when i am faithless." Amen, sister. Amen.