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November 02, 2007

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holding my hand i willnot fear any more

holding your hand i won't fear tomorrow
评论(0)发表时间:2007年3月16日 21时20分

vacations are over, and the teacher's not the student's.
Winter is coming also to an end, and the spring is at hand.
something is changing, and something is not. something is may not be what you want. something is not may be,although, life is going on its own way,not being stopped by anyone.

walking on the path, something like music feeling around. something lost, and something gained. it's a kind like ... , o, Lord, your hand. YEAH!HOLD YOUR HAND, I WON'T FEAR TOMORROW, HERE I STAND, I WILL NOT BE ALONE.

we can give up everything, or we can forget everything, however, Lord, you are the meaning of my life.

i was not a kind to do anything great, but i just need to be myself. but could i? life sometimes will play a joke on you that you just could control something. ok. if i could, i also pray for day that the weapon becomes plough, and under the trees all the people will be hand in hand. but, God, could that really satisfy human's desire? could that really be the end of sadness? could that really stop the evil desire?

sometimes the sunshine is high on the smiling faces, however, still hides the lonely hearts somewhere; sometimes cheers are all around the crowds, still strugging the certain weeping, maybe even could not have the strengh to weep. o, God, i do pray that the world will be peaceful and colourful, but why something still exists to make one cry? i do pray that one day, there will be not flood, earthquake, war, but who could stop the fear of the lonely hearts?

YOU HOLD MY HAND, AND I WONT FEAR TOMORROW, LORD. yeah, only your hand, not anyone else.

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something to meditate

a new leaf of the life has been turned to, i just could not help myself in too many things. love life and worshipping God, i just began to find myself hard to adjust to this new life. Recalling back the life one year ago, i was free, totally free, just could do anything i want. some people said that the moment we lost something, we are gaining something. sometimes i am asking, why am i now? why do i have to come to this point? is it because God doesn't love me any more? is it because God wants me to learn another lesson? or, is it because God has already forsaken me? i dont know. there is something i just could not understand, and i am very clear that i am changing, better or worse. who knows. i have told to God that i am willing to devoted myself to HIM, but i just could not touch HIM anymore. where are U, my Lord? have u left me? have u forgotten me? or , have u forsaken me?  God, i am a sinner, i am totally no better than anyone else, please, please, please, dont forsake me..................

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that's life

when coming close to the age of 30, looking back, i found that life has its own patterns.

as  little kids, we harbour ambious dreams which make life more colourful because they are the expecting hopes in our deep hearts; when growing up, life becomes a little grey due to more and more failures are encountered. looking back those beatiful dreams, someone may sneer while some may continue to look for the traces of hopes.

in my life, i did face some failures which had made me discouraged and nearly destroyed my dreams. luckily, before i totally surrender before life, life gives me hopes by endowing me some good friends who have enouraged me and strengthened me during those dark days. life, sometimes we feel so weak and helpless before its inscrutable characters and immovable might. almost every step we need strength and help. who could be the source of help and strength? all the friends will leave you. someone say that summer is the time for saying goodbye. It is true. when finished college, i began to learn what is goodbye by seeing my dear teacher Flight off in the airport. No tears when he hugged me until i saw his plane was flying in the sky. i was really so young at that time that i didn't realize that he is old and this may be the last time i could see him. Still arguing with him that i will see him again in his hometown soon by taking TOFEL but failed then to know that his efforts to come to fuzhou again was stopped due to his severe sickness. Flight, he had gone forever! See u in the heaven. Almost 10 ten years passed, i still could remember the days with him, especially when encountering difficulties, when trying to seek for some advice. Now Grace, Flight all had left our English Bible Study, leaving me there, facing all kinds of different new comers, i began to grow up gradually. no more indulgence because they are not there. but life still goes on. new younths like me came here, but no patience like Grace or wisdom like Flight any more, even i tried to recover their spirit in our Fellowship.

Life sometimes could be very cruel. sometimes you see something you like and in the distance, trying to seize it, catch it, but realize that something in the life has prevented u doing so. every one has the same span of life, lasting for 70 or 80 years, which warns us that we could not seize everything in the life. Sometimes we have to learn to lose or abnegate even though it represents some sacfrices or pains;while sometimes fortunately we will gain something, giving praise to God, because it is a gift from HIM.

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there are some people in my life i would like to mention. G,G, and P.

    all of them are sisters, unmarried sisters. The two Gs has sacrificed themselves to God, and P still looking for one. But that is not the case to measure one's piety anyway. They are all great, having a kind of strain that could not be found in some others.

    P is a totally different life viewer, cause she knows best what is to be cherished in the life due to her experiences with so many disabled persons. that's why she could surrender something in a much more easily way to see that she is not the worthy one to own all she has now.

   G 1 and G 2 are the two ladies who has made up their minds to marry God, however, in a rather different way, both showing their value and love, and have become a great blessing to the ones around them.

   yeah, now the question remained is, are we ourselves have been a blessing to the people close to us? or, just day by day, eating, sleeping has occupied all of the time in our life? or even, sometimes, have been a burden or curse? just say to ourselves, and pray to God to help us, hoping we are the ones living in this world to constitute a  scenery rather than to destroy it.
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ok, going ahead to post this one is after my call to sister Patient.

she then told me that we should think about what we have rather than what we don't have. anyway, she reminded me of my devotion of my voice to God already, so i should keep in mind that God will take the responsibility now not me any more. i have been worrying so much is due to my own arrangement for God, thinking that how could i be a good preacher if lost my voice? how could i be a good teacher if i lost my voice? ok, now i know God knows all this, and HE will watch this.

thanks be to God.


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