ok, going ahead to post this one is after my call to sister Patient.

she then told me that we should think about what we have rather than what we don't have. anyway, she reminded me of my devotion of my voice to God already, so i should keep in mind that God will take the responsibility now not me any more. i have been worrying so much is due to my own arrangement for God, thinking that how could i be a good preacher if lost my voice? how could i be a good teacher if i lost my voice? ok, now i know God knows all this, and HE will watch this.

thanks be to God.

Halleluja!