Well I have made my half of the descision... My dad approached me with a request a little while back, that I would consider homeschooling my two youngest brothers. At the time I believed that this would mean dropping either completely from college for the next year or moving to part-time. Both of these would be detrimental to my scholarships. I had a day of of work and I stayed with my little brothers and did a lot of investigating on different class options and tried many different compilations of items.... I really want to be there to help my little brothers. I also want, however, to keep moving toward my goals. So with these things in mind I actually came up with a schedule that would allow me to do both :-). Granted it will be trying to fit everything in together and to balance, but I believe that I can do it. Now dad has to finish looking into private schools to determine what really is the best option,  but at least my side of the descision is made. I can do it. I am willing. I love my lil' brothers :-)

So I was going to watch a movie with my dad tonight. I borrowed a movie and came home because he said he wanted to watch something with me.... well I got here and he has already gone to bed so I am supposing that that means that we will not be watching a movie tonight... ::sighs::

Other thoughts ::beware of ramblings::
          I am beginning to think that if I gave away some of the things that I feel responsible for that maybe it would actually be easier on everyone else... that sounds strange... but right now I don't have time to do all of the things that need to be done... so I don't ever get "caught up," this causes me to stress and also to constantly ask favors of everyone else... I have learned to ask for help but only when there is absolutely no way that I can do it myself... If I turned some things over to others, then 1. I wouldn't be so stressed (which would make others happier to be around me or at least it more tolarable) 2. Things might actually get done besides what absolutely HAS to be done RIGHT NOW (which would make dad hapier and everyone else not feeling so guilty). 3. I wouldn't constantly be asking others to do things for me and they would be able to say 'look at all that I have to do' in that brag/complain manner that I wouold willingly pawn off. 4. I would be able to have a more clearly defined list of things I need to do so tha maybe I could be more efficent. 5. It would set things up so that thigs will run more smoothly even when I am not here. 6. I would be able to get things done that others need me to do for them.  hmmmm....

    Pray for me that I will know what I am supposed to be doing this next year. 

    Worked with Russ today...

To Russ: high five man it was cool. (and you're sign is the best one they've had)

        I've decided... I am a people person... I am the only person at DQ (of the people I have worked with) who actually likes working the window... Everyone else says they don't like dealing with people... on the other hand... I don't like working with people who don't do as well as they could and should at their job... I don't like having to sit there and watch someone do something that I know that I could do better... they can do better... they just don't and that annoys me... so does that make me difficult to work with?... Anyway... if you want to see me at DQ come through drive-through when we are really slow (then I can stop and chat at the window).

Until we... blog... again?

        Immortal

    So certain events and people have gotten me thinking about photography again... I haven't done any in a while simply because of the cost of film.. however... I have an idea... what I really like doing is to do those photo shoots that everyone always wants of themselves but they will never actually do for themselves... you know... the ones that are punk or that are country.... black and white or in somethign specific... the ones out in a field or in a park... laughing or not smiling... high contrast or glowy... but like I said I can't afford to... so here is my solution... if there is anyone who wants to have fun with pictures I will do them of you if you can pay for the film... that way I get the fun and experience of helping you get what you want and you get pictures of yourself and I don't dip into my college savings... anyway... anyone who has ever wanted to do this kind of thing let me know... :-) talk to you all later

    The mind.... Which is more real... our perception, or "reality".... I guess were our perception more true than perception itself would be reality? There are things I know to be true and logical.... and then the things that I feel.

    Well I haven't posted in quite some time. Mostly because nothing eventful has happened that is quality sharing material, then again, I suppose that has never before stopped me. I would like to say felicitations (I became weary of the incessant "congradulations") to all those who have now graduated.
    In other news DQ proved itself to be as I had expected - easy. Though I suppose that I didn't take the job simply for the fun of it so shouldn't expect much from it. I am unaccustomed to wasting so much time. I realize that for me every minute I am on the clock, I recieve pay. However, there are many points where there is aboslutely nothing that can be done. There really isn't even much more that I can clean. I was thinking the other day that there must be a more efficient system. So many people stand around and do nothing. I am also convinced that if they had people who were competent, that, in most cases, they could get by easily with about one third of the people which they have on the clock at any given time.
    hmmm.... that is enough rambling about that.... I slept almost 7 hours last night. I suppose that is newsworthy. Oh, another thing of note; I actually splurged and bought canvas! I also bought medium -yay! I spent nearly $40 at Hobby Lobby. Yes I know... a bit extravagant to just spend on yourself for no reason but I couldn't start my art again until I did :-) I actually don't feel badly about it.  I am going to start my art again. It was hard not to want to get more and more quality oils and more canvas... I was looking through a catalog the other day at linen canvas and new brushes and palette knives (mine is really really awful). I don't care what debates artists have had; linen is incontrovertibly better then cotton... then of course it is more expensive, so for now I will use cotton.
    For those few of you who are still reading, please excuse my verbosity. This post is quite lengthy for the amount to which it actually pertains. I wish you all a great day. Stop by and see me :-)

    So today was my first day... and it was really easy... but hey it's money.... I am working every day this week so we'll see how it goes. I apologize to Chris and Becca who stopped by to see me... thank you very much, it was nice to see you... but at the moment I couldn't talk even though I didn't have much to do... anyway I appreciated you two coming in :-)... Y'all are great :-)... I'll be there from 10-5 all week so you can stop in and see me. Have a great week everyone.

    So I am supposed to dress up as a pirate... actually a guy pirate... interesting... actually it's kinda fun trying to find stuff to do... it's like the opposite of what I usually try to do... I'm trying to find ways to make it look like have thicker eyebrows (usually I thin them out) make it look like I don't have as much of a waist (usually I try to make this look smaller not larger trying to figure out how to give myself facial hair (yea not a normal occurance).... basically tring to make myself look dumb... I mean ::ahem::.... masculine.... yea so it should be interesting

I'm really trying not to... I have an Exam in Theater!!! and I have my papers due tomorrow!!! Which (I'm trying really hard) I think I'm not going to write the extra credit essay... and no I'm not just  saying it this time... I really don't think I'm going to... really... I mean it... I have to much to do...

    So for my short sermon I stumbled a little but for the most part was able to say what I had written. I changed some things while I was up there, added a scripture that wasn't in my notes... The thing is when I practice by myself I could say the whole thing without flaw... and the minute it's with others my voice fails... I hate that... Anyway I did it in 4:20. This is much improved from my original time... Thank you to everyone who supported me!

    Human video... the first thing I'm supposed to be laying down on the edge of three chairs... the chairs that they provided were extremely slick, and they slanted steeply back. As I tried ot position myself I kept sliding so that I had to hold myself in postion. As I am doing this they are getting ready to start the music and I am thinking "this is really bad!" So the music starts and I am supposed to sit up. The problem is that I usually sit up to where I am sitting half and half on two of the chairs, but as I did this, those two chairs began sliding apart so I was sitting up with nothing under me! AHH.... so I grab the chairs trying to correct myself while staying with my character... apparantly I made it... later chris said "Nice catch!!" what a relief!.... I missed one cue, but was told that I did the mask pulls ok. That is harder than it looks... pulling a mask off, changing your facial expressions at the moment your hand comes over your face... hmmm....
Special thanks to Marcus!!! He helped soooo much!!
There are still some things that I think should have advanced which didn't.... I think our group performed great even if the judges didn't advance some things.
I now get to go write as much as I can in my about 25 some odd pages that need to be done :-p
y'all have a great day

             I advanced in both my human video solo and my short sermon.... God is great, because there is no way I should have been able to pull those off. He has blessed me in the people who supprt me, believe in me, and help me.

    Oh the irony...so I've gone through my short sermon a couple of times and then decided to time it. 5 minutes and 40 seconds!!!!!! NOOOOO!!...So I took out all the extraneous parts and was left with...5 mintues and 6 seconds. Deja vu. NOOOO!!!! I'm just so long winded it's not fair. They should make an exception for me. Why me? Why me? I don't mean to, it's just the way I do it. NOOOOOOOO!!! ::sighs:: I guess I should go try to cut out some more. Wish me luck. See you all tonight. 

        Nothing like waiting until the last minute... I wrote my short sermon last night... you know, decided to get it done early, since competition is tonight I figured there was no sense putting it off until today and stuff... yeesh... I had been telling myself that I wasn't going to do it so I didn't feel guilty about not having it written (but someone said I should... and I could tell my dad wanted me to.) So yea... hope all goes well tonight.. I'd like to be able to do my human video today and my short sermon tomorrow, but we'll se. (my luck my short sermon will be the first entry.)

    Good luck to all who are competing.

I am sooooo NOT ready for tonight!!!!

I have to preform my solo tonight... ick... before that I have to bake for the fund-raiser and possibly do service hours (and practice my human video)...

Isn't she a beautiful girl? She is a wonderful friend as well... I have good friends :-)