Oh and dads and little brothers who clean your room to surprise you are INCREDIBLE!!!!

    ::sigh:: how nice to walk in at night (not in the best of moods) to find that your room is completely clean and even vacumed!!


(Bethy worked on folding clothes in attempt to help my room the other day as well)

FAMILY ROCKS

(even family + additional kinda family who you get in water fights with)

Unfortunate news; I have a whole lot of homework to do;
                                 A research paper due
                                 An Exam in theater
                                 A health presentation
                                 Possibly another long history essay
                              My fine arts stuff isn't ready
                                  I have a solo human video and a short sermon that aren't near ready (just really started actually)

Great news; Right now a lot of things have turned out well;
                              The english paper that I worked on all easter got an A (note this english teacher does not give A's believe me this was my final full out attempt before declaring him completely unpleasable, I did everything he has mentioned that I could do better on previous papers)
                                The History essay that I was so worriedd about with the book that I lost, that I pulled another all-nighter for got a 95 (this was really hard as well)
                                 The history notebook that I put so much trouble into and spent hours at the library for plus an all-nighter got 15/15 (which counts for 30% of my grade)
                                  And I have GREAT friends!!
                                  And I have an awsome dad
(note that the good is longer than the bad)

... and not stop...

i want school to be out. this week has been Pretty much full of just everythIng. Nothing seems to want to just stay calm. nothinG will just stay even... life is full of ups and downs... but there is one who stays the same.. that helps.

I posted a few random photos that I have taken... I'll post more later but I couldn't get the others to load just now...

    yea so school... ick... I have seven pages written so far... I have a lot more reading and a lot more writing to do... I dont' think that I will go to bed tonight... I haven't pulled an all nighter in a while, which is good... but I really don't feel in the mood to do that.. oh well I guess that's life huh? We don't always get what we want ;-).... yuck... I really am not in a good state of mind to be writing a paper like this :-p.... wish me luck.

I haev realized that...

       I have the absolute bestest daddy in the entire universe...

       I have amazing friends...

       I have a TON of homework to do in these next few weeks and I am going to have NO life for that period...

       It is starting to feel like summer and I really really need to start working out again...

       Even if slowly, I am gettign somewhere...

       I have things pertty good :-)

Enough randomness... I have to go wrok on my paper :-p

    I wish things didn't take so much time...

Another thing... weird how when you keep track of how many times something happens, you find out it is more than you would have thought at all... Thinking back you would have said 3 a week... but then marking every time you come up with like 7 or something...

"A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view."
~ Wilma Askinas ~

"A friend knows the song of my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails."
~ Author Unknown ~

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."
~ Bernard Meltzer ~

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
~ Author Unknown ~

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."
~ G. Randolf ~

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
~ Walter Winchell ~

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost"
~ Charles Caleb Colton ~

"Friendship is a sheltering tree."
~ S. Taylor-Coleridge ~

"Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens adversity by dividing and sharing it."
~ Cicero (44 B.C.) ~

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch swing with, never saying a word, and then walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had."
~ Unknown ~

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that gives value to survival."
~ C.S. Lewis ~

"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is a last drop that makes it run over; so in series of kindnesses, there is a last one that makes the heart run over."
~ James Boswell ~

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

"What is a friend? I will tell you. It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with him. He seems to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. He does not want you to be better or worse. When you are with him, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you. He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With him you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meannesses and absurdities and, in opening them up to him, they are lost, dissolved on the white ocean of his loyality. He understands. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him. Best of all, you can keep still with him. It makes no matter. He likes you. He is like fire that purges to the bone. He understands. You can weep with him, sin with him, laugh with him, pray with him. Through it all - and underneath - he sees, knows and loves you.
A friend? What is a friend?
Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself."
~ C. Raymond Beran ~

I want to just feel like this.

You know, the fun, confident, carefree person who always gets it right and is always upbeat.

Do people see the problems as who I am?
I want the smile to be permanant. Or at least predominate...

Happy
...Fear stuck its foot out and I tripped on the same lie

That voice screaming into my head

Pushing me to play dead

Saying "don't you even try"

But how can I claime to be free

When I carry more chains the world when they see me?

I don't wanna be the fool who stays

Down, down, down, down down


I should be happy

I should be happy

I should be living up these days

Just like I know who runs this place

Now that you found me

I should be happy


Now I'm not talking 'bout a smile so fake

While the world takes pictures 24/7

I just want my faith to be a little more real

What you see is what you get

What you see is how I feel


I should be happy...
you get the picture.... Happy....

The lightning is beautiful tonight.


Romans 1:20  For since the
creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and
divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has
been made, so that men are without excuse.


Peace comes from knowing and trusting in God....

John
14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to
you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not
be afraid.


Colossians 3:15  Let the peace of Christ rule in your
hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be
thankful.

16  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you
teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms,
hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God...

Alright I'm doing it again...

Casting crowns
 "Set Me Free"


It hasn't always been this way

I remember brighter days

Before the dark ones came

Stole my mind

Wrapped my soul in chains


Now I live among the dead

Fighting voices in my head

Hoping someone hears me crying in the night

And carries me away


Set me free of the chains holding me

Is anybody out there hearing me?

Set me free


Morning breaks another day

Finds me crying in the rain

All alone with my demons I am

Who is this man that comes my way?

The dark ones shriek

They scream His name

Is this the One they say will set the captives free?

Jesus, rescue me


As the God man passes by

He looks straight through my eyes

And darkness cannot hide


Do you want to be free?

Lift your chains

I hold the key

All power on Heav'n and Earth belong to me


You are free

You are free

You are free

    Alright, I posted some pictures of me after the wedding... I wanted ones of everyone else, but they had changed before I got home... I really need to fix the red eye, but I lost the programs I used to use when the computer crashed... ah well... if anyone can help with the red eye it would be appreciated :-).

        So I got my hair trimmed today instead of cutting it. Then I left it down and curled for the wedding. I took some pictures tonight. Just before I got inot somethign comfortable I was like - wait I don't ever get this dressed up and I like the way my hair looks right now.. - yea now I have pics... maybe I'll post some later... maybe I won't... Some of the pics I like.

Jeff's wedding was really beautiful and besides me almost setting the table on fire it went well (I saw the candle before anything caught so no one noticed until I said something.) I have some really great ideas for the piece they want me to do. Everyone showed up on time everyone did very well (chris was a great escort!! He walked slowly and calmly.) Jeff and Anady cried all the way through it. They looked very  good together. Everything seemed so chaotic before the wedding but it all came together. :-)

If anyone has interesting ideas to add to the collage type peice I am doing for Jeff and Anady let me know.

Y'all have a great night!

So Jeff is getting married tomorrow... WOW! that seems so strange.

Don't they look cute together?

Before the wedding:

Today I am supposed to go and help them decorate the church after I get out of class.Then I have to get some things cleaned up at the house for company, staying in for the wedding. Bethy, Zay, Joshua and Jonathan did almost all of it so I don't have much to do.  Tomorrow before the wedding, I am going to go get my hair cut. I've been thinking about getting it shorter... what do you all think? Then again maybe I'll just get a trim for tomorrow. I don't know... is it getting too long? Anyway... The weddin is tomorrow at 6.. So close!... I'm supposed to sketch during the service trying to pust stuff together for a painting they want me to do... That's definitely something I've never done... I guess I should go to class now :-p

          I'm in class and very bored... I should work on hw for my next class but I set aside a chunk of time to do that later so I'm not really motivated at the moment. School has been so much better since I dropped design. I still have work, but it is much more managable. Other things are going well. I love my group at fwc. You guys rock!! If anyone has any suggestions for a new name, we happen to be looking. Two people in my group said that they wanted to be the flibbertiggets. When I thought it only meant silly I was cool with that, but now I read the def. and part of the def. is "Given to excessive and often trivial or rambling talk; tiresomely talkative"... I don't think that that should be our aspiration... anyway suggestions of somthign fun are welcome.

          Just because I don't tell you, doesn't mean I don't hurt. And just because I don't respond doesn't mean I didn't hear your words. Just because I don't scream doesn't mean that your words did not pierce. Just because I smile doesn't mean that I'm fine. Do you want me to scream to lose it and lash out? Why should I give the satisfaction of giving you control over my response, the satisfaction of seeing the daggers hit the mark and take root?

          Someone once told the story of a man who was provoked and mocked... when the antagonist left, the man was asked by an onlooking individual why he did not lash out... his response was simple... "that man doesn't control me"

          Hurt exists, whether or not you see it. Be careful of what you say to others because even if they don't display it for the world to see, your words and actions can hurt those around you.