"& if I'm flying solo at least I'm flying free!"

April 14 2006

"So if you care to find me
look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Everyone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
at least I'm flying free!

To those who'd ground me
take a message back from me.
Tell them how I am
defying gravity.
I'm flying high
defying gravity.
& soon I'll match them in renown
& nobody in all of Oz,
No Wizard that there is or was
is ever gonna bring me down!"

"tomorrow tomorrow I love yah tomorrow.. you're only a day away."

March 29 2006

tomorrow's gonna be freakin amazing.

i'm exccccciiiiiited!

If I were....

March 26 2006

I were a month, I'd be: May
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Friday
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 7:00 pm
If I were a planet, I'd be: Earth
If I were an animal, I'd be: a cat
If I were a direction, I'd be: Right
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: a big comfy chair
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: hmm..
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Diet Coke
If I were a tree, I'd be: a big shade tree
If I were a bird, I'd be: a bluebird
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: a daisy
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: sunny with a slight wind
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: hmm...
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: a piano
If I were a wild animal, I'd be: hmm..
If I were a color, I'd be: greeeen!
If I were an emotion, I'd be : complete & total happiness
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: a tomato
If I were a sound, I'd be: birds chirping
If I were a car, I'd be: hmm..
If I were a song, I'd be: "The End" Matthew West
If I were a movie, I'd be: Never Been Kissed 
If I were a book, I'd be: Every Young Woman's Battle
If I were a food, I'd be: cucumbers & ranch
If I were a place, I'd be: hmm.. 
If I were a material, I'd be: cotton
If I were a scent, I'd be: strawberries & champagne from victoria's secret
If I were an object, I'd be: a computer 
If I were a body part, I'd be: a mouth
If I were a facial expression, i'd be: a smile
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: history
If I were a shape, I'd be: a circle
If I were a number, I'd be: 16
If I were an article of clothing, I'd be: a flowy, fluffy, spring skirt hah
If i were a pizza toping, I'd be: pepperoni
If i were a steet sign name, I'd be: uhm?
If i were a painting, I'd be: Starry Night
If i were a pleasure, I'd be: happiness

yeah that was fun..

Oakland Varsity Cheerleading 2006-2007

March 22 2006

yayay! I MADE IT! =D

My bestest & I at tryouts today!

"the list"! congrats to everyone! <33

NEW hair!

March 10 2006



yes... its SHORT..  & i LIKE it!


March 07 2006

I REEEEEALLLLY want to cut off my hair. I don't want it tooo short but I'm thinking a little above my shoulders. What do you guys think?!


February 22 2006


would you guys mind doing this for me?
it only takes a minute
& i'm curious to see what you all think!

a new perspective on Valentine's Day

February 14 2006

so.. I think I've finally gotten over the fact that I've never actually had a Valentine. & I think I've gotten over the "I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY WITH A PASSION!" phase. Because today I realized that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be just about boyfriends & girlfriends & mushy gifts & what not (even though all that would be VERY nice). Valentine's Day is about giving to others & making someone else feel loved. It's about telling your FRIENDS how much they mean to you & letting them know how special they are.

So, as of 2/14/2006.. Valentine's Day is now my favorite holiday. hah, just because I get to make other people feel special & do nice things for others. Which is what I LOVE to do.

THANK YOU! to all my wonderful friends & cheerleaders for all the sweet Valentines & candy! It was all awesome & you made my Valentine's day great.

Well, I'm going to bed. Once again, thanks guys!
(oh & I tried out for The Wizard of Oz today after school.. mmhmm, it went pretty darn well. I find out Thursday what part I get so, keep your fingers crossed!)

goodnight guys! Happy Valentine's Day!

God is ALWAYS there

February 07 2006

so.. I was totally prepared to come straight home.. log on to phusebox & rant & rave & yell & scream about how upset I was about how everytime I turn around someone is "in love" or "they have the most amazing boyfriend ever"..... but.... like my title says.... God is ALWAYS there..
as I was logging into phusebox I read the "recently posted" blogs.. which I usually do not do... but I did this time... & this is what one of them said

"Satan has set against every woman from the day of her birth. It's the emotional and spiritual equivalent of leaving a little girl by the side of the road to die. And to every woman he has whispered, You are alone, or, When they see who you really are, you will be alone, or, No one will ever truly come for you...He plays upon a woman's worst fear: abandonmet. He arranges for her to be adandoned, and he puts his spin on everything he can to make it seem like abandonment...
Much of what he allows in your life is not for you to simply accept, but to get you to rise up! God wants you to know how to wield the weapons of warfare, how to take a stand, and how to fight...
And so, dear heart, it is time for your restoration. For there is One greater than your Enemy. One who has sought you out from the beginning of time. He has come to heal your broken heart and restore your feminine soul. Let us now turn to him." -Captivating

& that totally just reassured me & comforted me & took all my doubts awat.... I know THE guy I'm supposed to be with will come eventually.. God hasn't kept me waiting these 2 & 1/2 years for nothing...

something good will happen as long as I keep my trust in God =D

gangsta paradise, yo

January 31 2006

hah.. gangsta pardises & free lunches
couldnt have been a better night.. well if the outcome had turned out differently... BUT

i <3 my gangsta paradise, free lunches (& dinners too!), ghetto school!

& we're still number 1.. we just have another team to share it with.. we're nice.. we dont mind sharing!

& its finally good

January 24 2006

MAN does it feel good to FINALLY be happy from the inside?!
i mean true joy that ONLY God can give you?!
i'm experiencing that right now & this is probably the BEST i've ever felt...

i know its hard.. i mean gosh it took me 15 years hah... but if you trully, really, whole-heartedly with everything you have give your life to God.. HE WILL DO AMAZING THINGS! & i'd known that all my life... i just never believed it... & then... all of a sudden things just fell into place & here i am! following God & putting ALLLL my faith into Him... because if he doesn't know what He's doing.. then none of us do... so i think i'm letting God take control of my life for once

& i never really understood the definition of faith & until you trully understand something you can never really put it into practice. but a couple months ago someone gave me this definition of faith & its probably the BEST definition ive ever heard--

FAITH--putting trust into something that you have no idea how the end will turn out

& thats basically what you do when you give your life to God... i mean i have NOOOO clue how my life or what i'm going through right now is going to turn out... but no way am i concerned with that! i'm not worrying, stressing, or upset about any of it! like i said,God's going to handle it & do an amazing job!

well.. i just thought i'd share with you my new found joy.. even though its not new found.. its been there for about.. 2 years... it just took a little break... but its definitely back now!

"I won't worry my life away."

my first wreck...

January 15 2006

so i know i updated just a few days ago... BUT.. i thought i should update on my wreck i had today...

sooooo.. i was on manchester hwy. turning left onto irby ln. to go to my house & i was stopped because traffic was pretty heavy & out of no where i look in my rearview mirror & i see this old grandma with 2 children & 2 other old women in the car & shes going like.. 40...  & she doesnt look like shes going to stop anytime soon... so i yell "DON'T HIT MEEEEE!" & then  she hits me.... going 40.. she didnt even attempt to slow down! AHH i was SO mad.. because it was in MYYYYYY car.. the car i got just 3 months ago... & its mine & i was SO mad... so the police came & i was crying & it was just bad.... & not to mention in the car with me was my dad & sister & storey.. oh goodness it was scary though... & then the old lady didnt even say sorry or anything! she didnt even ask if we were okay! ugh.. & now my car needs a whole new license plate ( you cant even make out what mine says anymore) & the light that goes above the license plate.... & there are some pretty noticeable scratches on my bumper....

ugghhhh.. but anyway... i just thought you would all like to know about my first wreck while i was driving.. haha.. even though it was just a fenderbender.. nothing serious.. it was still scary... & i'm not hurt or anything.. just extremely tired & my back hurts a little... but nothing serious..

anyway! everyone enjoy their day off tomorrow!

Storey & I

smiles =D

January 12 2006

4 months 4 months 4 months!
thats right! 4 months until my 16th birthday!

i'm definitely excited =D =D =D

&& this week has been soooo awesome so far!
God's really taking care of me.... thank goodness because last week wasnt good at all...

we play Riverdale tomorrow night at Riverdale!

haha.. everyone have a great weekend! <3

UNDEFEATED *clap clap clapclapclap*

January 07 2006

to anybody i offended with this entry.. i'm sorry...
i've edited out all the mean parts....
just last night was CRAZY..
& us oakland fans just wanted our respect...
for beating yall...  & not any of this "oh the refs won it for yall" stuff..
so if we get our respect.. then i'll be happy to give it to yall..
but again, i'm sorry...

okay so-- NO words could EVER describe how i feel right now.. & i dont think i'm going to even try...

for anyone who doesn't know... but i'm pretty sure everyone already does--


& to everyone who is saying "oh the refs won it for yall-- they blew all the calls" freakin bull crap.. Oakland won that game FAIR & SQUARE.. we put up solid defense in the 2nd half that just basically shut siegel down.. we came back & won because WE wanted it that bad.. that's TRUE spirit... thats a TRUE nation...

& to top this amazing night off... beating siegel means that...
ahhhhhh! it feels SO good to be on top!

hahaha picture shawn made for me.... & the part about "Were the refs looking at ______ butt?! is an inside joke.. haha & i had to cover up the name

Retardedme4eva: they dont suckk..its just..they will never step to our level..even if we lose we are always winners and thats why they are so jealous

Kate & I before the game at her house


December 30 2005
yayaya phusebox! i missed youuuuu! <3

5 months 5 months 5 months =D

December 12 2005

...and my guard goes back up.

today is december 12th.. which means 5 months til my sweet sixteen!!!!!!

(yes... i'm just a little bit excited hah)


December 09 2005

okay.. since i know not many people read this thing.. i feel like i can be way more personal & let alot more things out on here than i could on xanga.... so here goes

ever feel like you just dont fit into your "group" anymore? like.. you were just an add-in? and no one really wants you there....
man thats a freakin crappy feeling to have....
like... i know i have friends.... but i just dont feel like i'm completely wanted anymore... & that they have a good time without me.. & i realize that maybe i havent treated them the best lately..... which is probably a big reason why this is going on... i mean who wants to hang out with someone who is mean all the time?! i dont know... today was just... BAD ...
like... nothing really bad went on... i just felt left out.. unwanted.... not needed.... unloved... forgotten..... & those feelings all stink realllllly bad.. and it doesnt help much when people pile on to your bad day by saying very mean things that were completely uncalled for....... yeah i'm talking to you....

but anyway.. i just felt the need to get all that out....
thanks for reading it if you read this far....

by the way.... i'm definitely NOT looking for sympathy & i'm not trying to sound all depressed & suicidial & emo- like..... thats not me AT ALL... i just wanted to get some stuff out so i would feel better

everyone have a great weekend!

& i freakin love my sister... no matter how many times she takes my clothes without asking or steals the phone... ill still always love her... shes always there & i dont know what id do without her..... i love you shawniebonnie.... you're my favorite <3

so i thought all these insecurities & doubting myself was over with.. i thought i had conquered my fear & i was finally happy with myself and left all that horrible, horrible stuff back in the summer where it belongs... but sitting here thinking about it..... i know i am over it.... its just.. something about today brought that feeling back again... it just came rushing in like a flood.... & i definitely dont want it here.. i really shouldnt let what "people" say affect me.......... but i guess its an old habit coming back.... Lord PLEASE help me overcome this fear again & keep it away for good.... dont let satan come back & release this fear into my life.. theres no reason to doubt or be insecure... i know i have Jesus in my heart and i know HE'S with me & would never say ANYTHING bad about me.... and thats all that matters

long overdue update

December 04 2005

sorry guys.. ive been extremely busy =D
busy is fun though.. id rather feel productive

sooo.. uhm.. thanksgiving was awesome..
BREAK was awesome!
hung out with some amazing people...

mmhmm.. LOADS of fun

& then my madre & i decorated the house for Christmas & got the tree out... awww i LOVE Christams.. its my absolute favorite season ever

and i've been cheering alot.. for freakin BASKETBALL now! yayayayay! basketball is DEFINITELY my favorite

& our boys are pretty stinkin good... we're.... 3-1 now i think? & our girls.. well haha.. 0-4... BUT its definitely a rebuilding year since our whole team was made up of seniors last year

and we play BLACKMAN TUESDAY NIGHT at HOME... ahhhhhhhhh! talk about F-U-N =D ..I am SOOOOOOOO excited

but anyway.. i think thats all i wanted to say.. if you read it all.. good job! hah.. you get a gold star

everyone have a great week!

some people just plain stink

November 15 2005

title describes my day.. hah

some people will NEVER grow up..

"Pile your troubles on GOD's shoulders--
He'll carry your load,
He'll help you out.
He'll never let good people topple into ruin."
--Psalm 55:22 (The Message)

"Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."
--Romans 12:2 (The Message)

good thing i always have a friend in Jesus..
i dont know what in the world id do without him..

"once you have a great relationship with God.. everything else will just fall into place" --heather (my sunday school teacher)


i freakin LOVE this girl.. she's so amazing...


November 06 2005

i've decided this weekendthat things change.. & people change.. & what you want.. changes

so you shouldnt base ANYTHING on your emotions.. & what you feel right then.. because a week later.. you will feel totally different..

i guess its just part of being a girl.. haha
we can never make up our minds

"Let every detail in your lives--
words, actions, whatever--
be done in the name of the
Master, JESUS,
thank God the Father
every step of the way"
--Colossians 3:17 (The Message)