photo from kimkmcil


I may be the last Alias fan on this planet but maybe there is one person out there feeling my pain.

They did it... They killed of the man who will one day be my husband. THey killed off Vaughn, the soon to be dad of little Isabelle Bristow Vaughn. Ok so I don't think he's really dead... but if he is... then I will seriously be heart broken... of course that does free up Micheal Vartan to move to NYC and meet me.

Is it possible for a head to literally explode? Can we say overwhelmed? I went from CRAZY busy to nothing for 3 weeks. I complained those 3 weeks about being so dang bored... yeah well... never again will I complain about nothing to do. I am so overwhelmed right now with everything...i can barely breath. ITs not really about not having time, but about organizing the lives and activities of hundreds of people... yes i said hundreds...and in most incidents its not groups of people but individuals. I can't even organize my single life... how the h*** can i organize everyone elses... and if i hear one more excuse I might scream... sorry to vent but like Laura... i had to for me...not so much for you... i am just literally about to explode... of course the constant headaches don't help.

WHere is Calgon? DO they even still exist cause I need them to take me away.

Not all girls are like me but I am that girl... the one who gets giddy when she gets flowers. It doesn't even have to be from a boy... I get just as excited when my girlfriends bring me flowers.

THis mornign was a perfect example. This weekend was a tad stressful. This morning was to be one of the hardest services for me to get through... add on that we had a vision service last night so I lost a good bit planning time... I was just a little stressed...;) Anyway, my friend, Brooke, brought me a daisy this morning because she knew how hard today was going to be... I think it was a Gurber diasy I am not sure its real name but it was beautiful. YOu would have thought she just gave me a million dollars. It totally made me smile. Everytime I turned around this morning I saw that yellowsh daisy sitting right there smiling back at me. Looking at it in my apt right now still brings a smile to my face. I love flowers...

SO If you are like me and you like getting flowers... I hope someone brings you one this week... IF you aren't like me and something else makes you smile... My prayer is that osmeone showers you with whatever that is.

God is so good.

PS - This morning went amazingly well... See stressing does have its bonuses.

YOu ever have one of those days where you seriously wonder if you are in some alternate universe.

First - I was on the subway this morning and the train was coming to a fast stop so I was holding onto the bars... that are put there to keep us standing... and this man literally picked my hand off the bar so he could get clsoser to the door. I had my laptop on my shoulder which added to the gravity of the train stopping. I came really close to flying.

Second- THis man fussed at me on the elevator because the elevator stopped to pick me up... apparently he thought it should go straight down... no stops.

Third- THe cleaning lady in our new offices fussed at me for reading Harry Potter because THat is for the devil and we shouldn't be involved with the devil's work... Seriously... her words.

I can laugh at the situations above because they were really out of my control... but at the time I was thinking... is this really happening... especially the subway guy. He literally moved my hand off the bar...

But all in all it was a good day. I love being in my new office. I stayed late... which means I am busy... which I LOVE... then i got some Rice Bowl...and then got a call from my accountability partner. SHe is awesome. God is so good...

I hope you are having a good day.

I read the best quote the other day... and yes it came from Harry Potter... i know ... i am a nerd... but this is such a true statement i am learning lately...

"you see Dumbledore?" said Phineas Nigellus slyly. "Never try to understand the students. They hate it. THey would rather be tragically misunderstood, wallow in self-pity, stew in their own---"

God is for us far more, at times, than we would prefer. He is committed to removing all vestigages of sin from our soul when we wish He'd be satisfied with a clean new outfit. His interest in us far exceeds our concerns. Our perspective is usually limited to achieving a better life, and His desire for us is radical conformity to His Son's perfect character. No wonder He seems like an enemy when His discipline begins to grind off our arrogance in order to perfect his Beauty.
Dan B. Allender

Hosea 14:8-9
O Ephraim, what more have I to do with idols?
It is I who answer and look after you
I am like a luxuriant cypress;
From Me comes your fruit.
Whoever is wise, let him understand these things;
Whoever is discerning, let him know them
For the ways of the LORD are right,
And the righteous will walk in them,
But transgressors will stumble in them.

How we praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we belong to Christ. Long ago, even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us because we belong to his dearly loved Son. He is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

God's secret plan has now been revealed to us; it is a plan centered on Christ, designed long ago according to his good pleasure. And this is his plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ--everything in heaven and on earth.

Furthermore, because of Christ, we have received an inheritance from God,[a] for he chose us from the beginning, and all things happen just as he decided long ago. God's purpose was that we who were the first to trust in Christ should praise our glorious God. And now you also have heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God's guarantee that he will give us everything he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. This is just one more reason for us to praise our glorious God.
Ephesians 1:3-14

I got to play mom and aunt this weekend. Just thinking about it makes me smile. I got to get my neice and nephew ready for school on Friday as well as put them on the bus. I also got to take them off the bus. I got to put a T-Rex together out of legos with my nephew. I know I get to see them once a month... but I still can't get enough of them. I can't imagine what I will be like if i am ever a parent because there is nothing i wouldn't do for those two. It was nice to fix them lunch and put them on the bus... I loved asking them how their day was... I loved watching my neice beem over her homework... which funny enough was to play... I loved going to soccer practice with my nephew and being the proud aunt on the side taking pictures...Makes me smile all over again.



photo from kimkmcil



photo from kimkmcil

Luke 13:34- O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!

My take away: If God has all of this love to show and give us but our selfish, week hearts can’t allow him to … then can you imagine the power behind the love once we let it in??? His love is evident even when we ignore it… what would it look and feel like if we allowed it in our lives. What would it look like if we trusted him… if we gave our sacrifices to him and not to things of the world… I just can’t imagine

Today was moving day for us at Mosaic. We finally after 7 long months moved into offices. I am so happy. Today was long and I have some bruises and cuts to prove it but I am just happy we have offices.

Just wanted to brag a little. I was nominated to drive the 14 foot truck back to the dealer tonight... I've done it before but that's in the gridded area... this was in Lower manhattan where streets don't make sense. Luckily Sid and KEvin tagged along and made it fun. THey were great passengers. At one point when i was about to run a red light Sid said "hey kim the lights red" in the most calm subtle voice but still got my attention... where most people would have screamed in some way or fashion.. THen I almost ran over two pedestrians in Union Square. I laughed so hard that I honked (not the car horn but a luagh) and the guys I almost hit laughed at me cause I honked and they heard it.

It was fun. THen the guys and I went to Utopia where I had coffee and french toast at 10pm... I haven't been there since the summer crew left. It was nice to walk in and the waiter just brought me coffee without asking. I love being a regular. Makes me happy.

Well enjoy the pics. I want you guys to see Lane in his truest form.



photo from kimkmcil



photo from kimkmcil

I think I had the most interesting evening I've had in a long time. After set up I met up with some friends at a Bar to watch the Georgia/South Carolina game (I'm an ALabama Fan). DOn't ask me why I just did. SO I spent a couple of hours in a bar with 200 GA fans.

THen after we ate dinner we made our way to a friend of mine who was having a party on her room. Ok there was 200 people at least on this roof. THat's a lot of people. My friend said it felt like a meat market... which it was... THis is where I met Jonathan the Chef and Derrick the dealer. Jonathan the Chef was a VERY failed attempt of a friend to set me up. At first my friend sid was with me... Sid compared Joanathan to dull scissors. They will do the job but its a long painful job getting there. He was a great guy. Don't get me wrong but oh my... it was torture. At first sid was there and sid can talk to a tree. He's a very social person but even sid got bored and abandoned me. GRRR. so I was left alone. I don't hold conversations really well especially when I ahve no help from the other side.

Ok then there was Derrick the Dealer. THis was the highlight of the night. IF anyone wants to know my natuaral hair color. its blonde. We were standing there and this guy comes up. Obviously a little... ok alot drunk. We are trying to make conversation and ask him what he does. He says "I am Amelia's Dealer" I laugh knowing that AMelia isn't the kind of girl to have a "dealer" so I ask what that means. I said I know its not about drugs so what do you deal... Yeah well finally after everyone stopped laughing at me and told me to shut up I realized he really was a dealer. Yeah. I am not the naive little country girl... but I played her really well tonight.

THen we made it to Cold stone for some dang good ice cream.

I hope this made you laugh because its 1:30 now and I still ahve work to do and i am still laughing at the night. WOW...



photo from kimkmcil

Hey guys. I know you all have so much going on in your life right now but could you please pray for a dear friend of mine. She had been diagnosed with Breast cancer about 5 years ago when I first got to Seminary and had been cancer free for the last 4years but She had to undergo an emergency surgery that lasted 12 hours to remove a cancerous brain tumor. She's now in ICU at a hospital in Texas & will start radiation treatments soon. Then she'll need a PET scan to see if she needs to do chemo therapy or not.

As you can imagine, SHe and her family are unsettled especially due to the sudden nature of all this.

Please pray for them in this time, for the doctors to make wise decisions, and for those family members caring for her to get rest in spite of the long hours at the hospital.

Thank you guys

Have any of you guys read any of the following books? If so, do you recommend any of them?

Come Thirsty: No Heart Too Dry for His Touch
Max Lucado

Blue Like Jazz: Non-Religious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality
By: Donald Miller (YEs, Lane I know this is your favorite)

The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God
By: Brent Curtis & John Eldredge

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World: Finding Intimacy With God in the Busyness of Life
By: Joanna Weaver

HEy guys. I have a huge favor to ask. I am doing a little topical/self-study on Jesus, the man. I was wondering if any of you had any resources you can recommned on some of the topics below. I am also looking for biblical references for these areas. I have many in mind which is where the ideas came from but I want what you think of when you think of these aspects of Jesus... how you'd approach these areas. I have no expectations just want what you have to offer. DOn't assume I've heard your idea... I want to hear them all.. the more redundant the better. THanks all.

Jesus- THe Man

Jesus the friend, Jesus the Son, Jesus the healer, Jesus the Judge, Jesus the brother, Jesus the Leader, Jesus the Pastor, Jesus the forgiver, Jesus the betrayed, Jesus the Guest, Jesus the accused, Jesus the Prayer, Jesus the tempted, Jesus the suffering, Jesus the teacher, Jesus the rejected, Jesus the Lover

PS- podcasts and sermons count.

PRAISE GOD. We finally have offices. after 7 months. The joys of church planting in the city.

THis is the inspiration for one of Bethany DIllons new songs. Her writing is so close to the way I write... the style that is... i wish i were as eloqant as her... but still. I love her vulnerability here.
--------------------------------------------------------
My Love Hasn't Grown Cold
Inspiration for the Song

“‘But then I will lead her back once again. I will lead her out into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.

“‘In that coming day,’ says the Lord, ‘you will call me “my husband” instead of “my master.”’” (Hosea 2:14-16)

I’m always so afraid to return to God… afraid that He’ll bring up all of my mistakes… afraid that He’ll be tired of being kind and compassionate. I just can’t fathom that God could look past all of my flaws and see the object of His affection completely covered in grace.

“You could steal away in the middle of the night/And hide in the light of day/While you cloak yourself in the darkest lies/But oh, my love swims in the deepest oceans of fear/And as soon as you lower your head/I am here…”

During the season that I wrote this, I was so ashamed of how much I was struggling—embarrassed that I needed so much forgiveness. Passages like this one from Hosea always paint a vivid picture of love in brokenness for me. I love that about Him; that the only reason I love Him is because He first loved me. It’s the eternal mystery of God… that His love for us could never change.
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First- If you live in NYC... you MUST go to this exhibit. It will blow your mind. Its not for the light hearted though.



photo from kimkmcil

It runs August 29 – September 8 at the Metropolitan Pavilion Gallery:

123 West 18th St, 4th floor). Between 6th and 7th

Gallery hours: 11AM – 10PM.

(http://www.mercynewyork.com/exhibition.html)

Second,
Happy Birthday to Josh
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to Jooooosh
Happy Birthday to You.



photo from kimkmcil

so sorry i missed it. It was soooooo good to hear your voice tonight. I miss you terribly. Hope you had a good birthday. Love you buddy

Ok third... and least important... we may get offices. Gregg called me today to tell me he's meeting with a building guy tomorrow to finalze stuff. Yeah.

Got to go the US Open yesterday. Wasn't a huge Tennis fan but I had so much fun. I learned alot. GOt to see Agassi play and win. ALso Jim Carey was there...



photo from kimkmcil

Jim Carey being Jim Carey



photo from kimkmcil

The pre-game show



photo from kimkmcil

Lauren, Anne and myself. THe man that took this picture sacrificed his life for us... it was rather funny. WHich is why we are smiling so big.



photo from kimkmcil

Agasi acting like it was tough...

+ Movies in the park
+ Diversity. in race, style, etc... its just so beautiful
+ Subways. Yes I love the subways. IN the summer they are tough but so fun... you get to see some very interesting people
+ Mosaic Manhattan Church- the best little church plant ever.
+ small manhattan apartments- i know its weird but i like it... adds color
+ having friends that are nothing alike...
+ Diners... i love diners...
+ walking... except when people are out... ;)
+ THe fact that you can walk outside your front door and find 20-30 different place to eat within 4-5 blocks...
+ Having a 3 x 12 mile mall at your disposal.
+ Starbucks or some coffee shop on every dang corner
+ Upper west side
+ Riverside Park (THe boat BAsin is the best)
+ Sheeps MEddow on a 70 degree weather day
+ being 30-45 minutes from a beach but still being in the city
+ BEing able to visit a million countries in one afternoon
+ KNowing the fashions before the rest of the world.
+ BEing able to movies before the rest of the nation (40 year old virgin & prime)
+ Going to dinner with people you barely know and leaving with new great friends
+ Christmas in NYC
+ Fall in NYC
+ Broadway shows
+ Toys R US
I could go on but i will stop here. Please make additions.

A friend of mine reminded me of this song last night. Oh so beautiful.

Yearn by Shane and Shane

Holy design
This place and time
That I might seek and find my God
My God
Lord I want to yearn for you
I want to burn with passion
Over you
And only you
Lord I wanna yearn for you
I wanna burn with passion
Over you
And only you
Lord I wanna yearn

Your joy is mine
Yet why am I fine
With all my singing and bringing grain
In light of him
I wanna yearn for you
I wanna burn with passion
Over you
And only you
Lord I wanna yearn for you
I wanna burn with passion
Over you
And only you

Oh you give life and grace
In you will live and move
That’s why I sing
Lord I wanna yearn for you
I wanna burn with passion
Over you
And only you
Lord I wanna yearn for you
I wanna burn with Passion
Over you
And only you
Lord I wanna yearn

WHy do people insist on having VERY personal phone conversations in public places... THis guy is having a conversation with someone and is basically letting Starbucks know about it... by speaking in a VERY audible voice... I just don't get it...

YOu know you are a regular when the people you recognize are the ones who are either crazy (legally) or homeless. I've spent probably a total of 20 hours in the last week at Starbucks trying to get work done since Mosaic doesn't have offices... and the people i see there as much as me are literally the crazy ones... What does that say about me? I promise I wouldn't be here nearly as much if we had offices... Gregg swears to me we will be in a place by September 1... a week... I laughed out loud when he said that... Context for those who don't know... we've been looking for space since FEbruary 1.... DOn't see us finding space in a week... FOr those 5th floor peeps... look for me when you come in... i might be hiding in some corner... check to make sure i am not rocking back and forth... My perfume can be labeled... O' de Cafe. ;)

I read this this morning... you ever find it funny/ironic... when you are in something and you think you just can't go on... no relief seems to come your way and just as you are at your end... you are flooded by GOd's grace and blessings... THis is just the last of those blessings... God is so good and I am glad he knows my heart better then i do... I just can't imagine life without him.--

Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen By Elizabeth Elliot.

When we begin to imagine that our own problems are so deep, so insoluble, or so unusual that no one really understands us, we delude ourselves. It is one of the many delusions of pride, for Scripture tells us not only that our High Priest, Christ, has been tempted in every way as we are, but that no temptation has ever come our way that is not common to man. There are no more new temptations than there are new sins. Our story, whatever it is, is an old one, and He who has walked the human road has entered fully into our experiences of sorrow and pain and has overcome them. He has comforted others in our situation, gone with them into the same furnaces and lions' dens, has brought them out without smell of fire or mark of tooth.

It is a bad thing to take refuge in difficulties, thus excusing ourselves from responsibility to others because we think our situation is unique. If we are willing to receive help, our Helper is standing by--sometimes in the form of another human being sent by Him, qualified by Him to help us. It may be a case of our not receiving help because we were too proud to receive the kind God sent. Sometimes we really prefer to wallow.

"Ours is not a high priest unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who, because of his likeness to us, has been tested every way, only without sin. Let us therefore boldly approach the throne of our gracious God, where we may receive mercy and in his grace find timely help" (Heb 4:15, 16 NEB).

I got the privilege tonight to spend an evening just worshipping with 5 beautiful women... was able to soak in their wisdom and weaknesses as well as being allowed to be a vulnerable little girl and share what God is or isn't doing with me... it was just so precious... God is so good. He knows what we need when we need it and how we need it... Then on the train I was listening to my CD player (my ipod is still dead) and this song that I have listened to a thousand times in the last week finally soaked in... It totally hit to the core of what I am dealing with.

All I know- Matt Wertz

I don't know how the stars hang
Or how there is night and there is day
I don't know you spoke into the black
and made it all obey

All I know is the bleeding in my heart
and the healing your touch
all I know is that you gave everything
so let that be enough
This is all I know
Its all I know

I don't know how your love works
How you cover me in grace
I don't know how you swallow all I am
When I can't stand my taste

All I know is the bleeding in my heart
and the healing your touch
all I know is that you gave everything
so let that be enough
This is all I know

I can't explain your mystery
But I know the answer
Its all I know

You know something I just realized... I want to be IN LOVE with God... I know sounds so dang cleche... but i do. YOu know when you are interested in someone how every thought every emotion every piece of energy is consumed by that person. YOu always wonder what they are thinking, how they are feelings, what drives them, all of it... well i want that with God.

When did that stop or was it ever really there... I want to be excited by God, driven to please him, that "I can't sit still, can't breath, can't think about anything but who He is and what he wants"... I want to serve him and his people with a passion I can't imagine... I want to remember the excitement of seeing people get Him, of people desiring his promises... I want to be reminded why I am here... I just need to know how to get from here... to there... one small step at a time huh...

Ezekial 16:
15"But you thought you could get along without me, so you trusted instead in your fame and beauty. You gave yourself as a prostitute to every man who came along. Your beauty was theirs for the asking! 16You used the lovely things I gave you to make shrines for idols, where you carried out your acts of prostitution. Unbelievable! How could such a thing ever happen? 17You took the very jewels and gold and silver ornaments I had given you and made statues of men and worshiped them, which is adultery against me. 18You used the beautifully embroidered clothes I gave you to cover your idols. Then you used my oil and incense to worship them. 19Imagine it! You set before them as a lovely sacrifice the fine flour and oil and honey I had given you, says the Sovereign LORD.