THis is the inspiration for one of Bethany DIllons new songs. Her writing is so close to the way I write... the style that is... i wish i were as eloqant as her... but still. I love her vulnerability here.
--------------------------------------------------------
My Love Hasn't Grown Cold
Inspiration for the Song

“‘But then I will lead her back once again. I will lead her out into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.

“‘In that coming day,’ says the Lord, ‘you will call me “my husband” instead of “my master.”’” (Hosea 2:14-16)

I’m always so afraid to return to God… afraid that He’ll bring up all of my mistakes… afraid that He’ll be tired of being kind and compassionate. I just can’t fathom that God could look past all of my flaws and see the object of His affection completely covered in grace.

“You could steal away in the middle of the night/And hide in the light of day/While you cloak yourself in the darkest lies/But oh, my love swims in the deepest oceans of fear/And as soon as you lower your head/I am here…”

During the season that I wrote this, I was so ashamed of how much I was struggling—embarrassed that I needed so much forgiveness. Passages like this one from Hosea always paint a vivid picture of love in brokenness for me. I love that about Him; that the only reason I love Him is because He first loved me. It’s the eternal mystery of God… that His love for us could never change.
-------------------------------------------------------------