yesterday was awful....

period.

so yesterday i went to symrna to get my car fixed and pick up my prom dress (: and well we went back to pick up my car after driving all over the place and when we got back to Matt's house my car still wasn't finished and it would be a couple of more hours. so we left again to go eat at chef wangs and he would call when the car was ready to be picked up.

so it was pitch black when we left his house and well we took a few wrong turns, drive for a long while and then landed in Nolensville.

OMG!!!

that was not cool and i never ever want to get lost again. dun dun dun... i was freaking out... i called James continuously and at one point i cussed him about there not being a road where he said there was a road. well we turned down some other road which leaded to some other road and blah... we somehow ended in Murfressboro an hour later....

i got to watch Grey's Anatomy that Justin bought me, but not all of it which was depressing.

im not working today... i have to go pick up my car and most likely get lost again. :-(

so last night i went with sam and rocky to the drug test place so sam could get a urine drug test. well it had just started like really storming and this guy with sleeve tattoos and a woman with him walked in and sat down across from us. and we were talkin about something and he was fuck man....

and he started talkin about tennesse drivers and stuff and how he cant believe them and sayin he was doin like 85 down the interstate and this old lady speeded past him doin like 95 and flipped him off.

ohmigosh i was crackin up. but he kept telling us about his life and i was like wow! cause he was talkin about living up in new york and ridin his bike over the snow and his worst accident ever was in '92 and he was tellin us about that and one time he was standing next to a tree and lightning hit it and it flew him back 60 yrds and into another tree and broke all of his ribs and dislocated both of his hips. i was sitting there like holy shit!!

but we were talkin to him and he kept telling us storys about him and then this guy had tried to beat the shit out of him and busted his skull with a baseball bat and larry got up and stabbed an ice pick in the guys neck and that he was in the hospital and died 5 times on the table and came back each time and was in a coma for 6 months and woke up and said damn that was a nice nap. They told him he was in a coma and he was like, 'Well then that was a hellova nice nap!'

but the whole time we were there we were all talking shit about people and stories about us and him. and we had a good time. lol. i don't think i'll ever forget that guy. he was like the most interesting person i've ever met.

(:

nothing to say today....

so yesterday i had to go get dog food for brandi and yeah.. im 18 now and i can buy a lizard! ive always wanted a lizard or snake or whatever. (: so i got one and it was great. i named him Cheader Bob Rolando lol don't ask. i already had a tank and stuff so it was all good. I just need a screen top so that it breaths more. i'm worried that ill cook him like i boiled my fish.

I can't wait till tomorrow. i go to get my dress fitting. i gotta go to symrna at 430 to try it on and get it on the way to any alterations. im so excited. i gotta wear my strapless bra. :P

Sam tell Bobby dogs are for kids. (y'know- trix are for kids) :D

Do I look snazzy today?? (: or just cute?

So lately... I've just had the urge to dress super nice and cool i guess... i don't know... yesterday i got some strange looks and others gave me nice compliments... but... i don't know. its just not enough.

...today im going job searching. the goal is to hace another job by Friday and to quit McDonald's on friday when they have their F.O.R. because that's what our managers deserve. because they are on a giant power trip and they need to be set back. and you know. if they don't respect their employees then they wont have anybody, and since everyone at our store is pretty much like: "if you quit, we all quit." 

and you know... im suppose to be already certified as a shift manager by this month.. well im not. im doing everything i should be as a manager... but they refuse to order a shirt for me... they refuse to do anything further to advance me. and when someone asks them about it they push it away or squash the question like a bug and say its none of your business or something like that.

im sorry but i have pretty much given up on them. they have pissed me off and im not going to work my butt off for them anymore until i get the shirt and the pay for the work i do. grr... it just makes me mad.

anyways.. ill do what i need to i suppse. :

ahhhahahahaha!!!

ohmigosh! i heard this on the radio this morning and they were saying that Paul Wall has a new site and says that he is promoting making ever'body grills and that you can order him to make you one. And the cheapest thing you can buy is a single gold tooth for $50 :D

if you want to check it out (coughcough*sam*coughcough) the website is www.grillsbypaulwall.com and if you go to it and you're in class make sure the volume is either off or way down because the intro is music. BUT you need to watch the intro cause if you're like me you'll think its funny. :D

anybody watch the oscar's last night? :P

THIS.... is my dress!! I ordered it yesterday. and its yellow and its poofy. I got a ball gown and i love it. I feel like Belle in Beauty and the Beast. :D But I did find a dress that looked exactly like Belle's but! it didn't come in yellow so i didn't get it (: I have to have a yellow dress. I just had to. (: its close to $400 dollars. yeah i know. :D

Sam is excited now. Cause he can wear black and yellow. :P

kay! work today not really excited about it. : but hey ill live. (:

i love you sam. have a good day at school. (: and don't get pulled over again. :P

so yesterday was great. i wasn't nervous at all at court. it went very good. i was called up and i decided to plead not guilty and now i have my hearing on march 28th. my officer was a real prick. oh lol! and i got pulled over last night for driving with my headlights off. i cant tell! so hey, but he was real nice about it.

but i did see quite a few people i know. Like Zach, our waiter at Chef Wangs. :D somehow last Thursday court was mentioned and he said he had to go for something stupid. well we finally got him to tell us what he did after we guessed a million times. And when I saw him walk into the room I started to laugh silently. :P

later we went to cracker barrel and i paid for it. so now i only have like 20 dollars and i told sam i had dinner on thursday. and i kinda dont now. (: i can get mine and half of sams though. but if my direct deposit stuff goes in by tomorrow then i will have money. :D so it will be all good. :P that and ill sneek my check on thursday :P lol

Rocky comes back today!!! yay!

work tonight. ill probably do the deposit again (: its all good though.

love you sam. (: be careful.

i don't know....

im super worried anbout a bunch of things going on right now and im really tired... i give blood tomorrow and i go to court tomorrow and i have to most likely pay court costs which i really dont have the money for... so if i can borrow 40 from my g-ma and maybe 40 from sam or somebody.... well ill be okay cause i got 70..

omgosh.... im just really stressing!!!

 ):

ohmigosh....

my car sucks!!

okay so today after school i gotta go to the bank and get my business done there. so i can get all of that good stuff ready..

later ima go home and change into pants most likely and then go eat at chef whangs with the gang and play dinos later (:

im excited. :D

i need to start planning my budget... that and apply to some other jobs maybe... : i dunno

sam is willing to pay everything for me and i really dont want him to do that.. but its things i really need done (i.e. my car! - its barely running...)

and sam's a computer genius so hes gonna upgrade my computer, etc. and whatever else he wants to do. (:

my new cellphone # is 615-785-3314 if you love me text me :D

so yesterday was valentines day (:

i had fun. (:

sam got me a balloon with wings (sparrows) and it was heart shape and said love on it. (:

i also got chocolates, a dozen of yellow roses (:

and....

a giant puppy dog thats soft and its sitting in my car. (:

we also had reservations to outback for 7:26 and we got there 30 minutes early. but we still sat there until 8:30 and still hadn't been seated. so i got pissed and complained and kinda cussed the hostess out a little bit and so i told sam that we were leaving. so we sat in the car talkin about where we were going to eat. And i was like y'know what? picked up my cellphone and dialed outback's number placed a togo order and pulled up in the drive through and was out of there in 15 minutes. :D

then i texted ben and he hooked us up in the mcdonald's orientation room and it was so sweet because he got us a rose and some candles and chocolates and was our waitor if we needed him and yes we tipped him. it was so sweet i felt so special. :D

it was a great night and i enjoyed it.  (:

i love you sam.

so when every kid (or almost every) when they turn 18 the first impulse is to rebel and go against what their parents like or do like. i.e. tattoos, peircings... cigarettes... and i guess some people porn.

and hey! i want a tatoo or two and i want to get my tongue peirced but i think if i want that i have to find a place to live.. :( yeah my mom called me a whore for wanting one and a whore if you have one, etc. and said i wouldn't be living under her roof with one. so... tat will have to wait a while... (:

so here are some tattoo choices and there will probably more to come until i decide. :D

so i super-duper really like this one. took ideas and made it my own. i like it alot. it would be placed on my right shoulder blade. so yes it would be shown in any dress that shows back. but i like it and thats where i want it. nobody steal please. :D

another one i might consider is this one :)

yep. i changed the tail on this one. i thought it was nice though. (: i like it. :P

well those are my two choices so far. as to the DEFINITE tattoos that i am positively getting. i may have to wait a while until i get my car fixed which will take a couple hundred i don't have to spend on a tatoo :D so

im gonna go soak and lick my wounds (feelings) in the shower... :

my dog was up and about this morning! :D she was sweet. i think she was back to sleep before i left because i didn't see her when i rushed out the door..

sam called me this morning.. made fun of my noises. (: he said i sounded like godzilla's kid or something that i was callin for godzilla. :D that and i can't make the sparrow call. ): he was like prrr-gurglegurgle-prrrr-gurgle-prrr-choke!-coughlaugh. it was great. that and i was almost late.. :(  though, i did discover I can leave 10 til 8 and still make it before the bell. :D

i had a real problem with what i wanted to wear today.. and i have to say that i don't match and i probably look stupid rather than cute.. :

but hey.. (:

So today... (the 5th since it is passed midnight) is my 18th birthday and Superbowl Sunday! I had some good fun. Sam threw me a party and spent alot of money on food for me. It was a really party. About 10 people were there and two gave me cards with money (thanks meggie and b reb :D) and Sam's mom and her boyfriend got me a card. It was really sweet and I really appreciated it..

ive been really upset for the last couple of days and today was just what i needed to be with friends and have a day of relaxtion. ive had a lot of stress and i just need a break. my car has been messing up and my best friend probably wont ever talk to me again and i don't have a phone so that if my car stalls on me i cant get in touch with anyone easily without walking miles... ): and im just scared and worried.. that and my mom cant get me a birthday gift or wont...

but i hope that everything will work out for me. on tuesday, i'm going to set up my own banking account and get what i want without the signature of my mom! :) I filed my income tax return papers etc.. and so in about 4 weeks i will get a nice check in the mail and i'll be able to get my phone if i can. :)

i'm really in love with sam. he is so great to me and he cares for me so much. i know people might think it is too soon for two people to just love each other so much but we have such a connection. i eventually want to move out and if i did and if we are still together which im sure we will, i would like to share one with him. it would be easier for our relationship and we would be able to see each other more. (: i would like that. i love him bunches and we've been together a long time. *** 9 mnths on the 18th!! ***

anyways.. im super tired and im gonna hit the hay sack. sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite. :D

So last night I went to the Oakland vs. Seigel game. It was a good game. Both teams played hard and there was alot of team spirit. But all in all I saw a bunch of my friends there.

I went to the game with my boyfriend (who graduated from Oakland--and particularly didnt want to sit on Oakland's side from bad experiences in the past related to Oakland--) and we went with friends from work who went to Seigel so to us it didn't matter we were going to enjoy the game. Then i get to school and I get caled a traitor. It wasn't very nice... And I had good reason. Sure I had friends on the other side but i personally wanted to be with sam.

I was the only kid over there surrounded by Seigel Nation and wearing an Oakland shirt! and no i didn't cheer for Seigel. Its just stupid that I get called a traitor (when part of the people were just joking with me) and hey! bite me! I can sit on the side I want.

but i didn't appreciate it and i don't think you would either. but it was a good night (:

i got my car fixed so i can now drive once again. :D

anyways... back to art class to work on my design for my new project. Its going to be a collage and my quote is from an Evanesence song.

"In my field of paper flowers,
and candy clouds of lullaby.
I lie inside my self for hours,
and watch my purple sky fly over me."

yes... just let it sink in. :D

so today i get to starve... no lunch money :( im broke. but it is friday and i get a paycheck..

...and ill finish this later... :D appreciate the above art work!

I'm so tired of everyone talking about this stupid fight at school. Josh Purrington got his ass beat. yes, we know!! But if anyone wants to know his condition-- he went home today and is remembering who he is and stuff, etc..

Me and my boyfriend have had this discussion before. 'What discussion?' are you asking? Its the one whether it is right for black people to say the "n" word to each other like its their name or something. I mean 'HELLO!' its a frickin racial-slur and its annoying. I've seriously asked my boyfriend to stop saying it and i will ask people why they say it.

my boyfriend says it is a way to turn the negative to a positive so that they don't focus on the past. but if a fricin white guys wants to go up to some black guy and fit in thinking it my be a friendly term since it is thrown around so much think 'hey i can use it if they are!" well that turns out to be a negative- since you are either beaten to death or get shot. ):

i feel that it should not be used a'tall in any circumstance. it is a derogatory term used in the south back in civil war slave times. It was used as a put down and it is considered profanity.
i dont think anyone should use the word under any circumstances period! And its other forms created to stereotype others like whigger and cracker and others are jsut as bad! Black people need to get over the slave days or i don't know... go back to africa! no offense but its just stupid to use that term and think nothing about it.

but since im white -- i obviously know nothing about the subject. grrr... it makes me so mad when people say it I just want to walk up to them, kick them in the shin and embarrass them in front of everyone....

>:| grr.

on to other subjects :D i have chinese food tonight. it was a good night. my mom is having a rough time, but i will be 18 in eactly 9 days.. how frickin great is that!! then i get a new phone. :P
oh and sam bought me some earrings. They are super cute!

so last night i was out driving with my boyfriend and well we went to Stonetrace McDonald's and filled out applications so we can be re-hired out there at Ariane's store.. well so we were leaving and we were sitting at the red light and i saw flashing lights and i turned around and there is a motorcycle cop.

and i thought well crap... so i pulled over on the shoulder and waited for him to come up to my door. And he asked for my stupid liscense and registration. so i gave them to me and he asked me if i knew why i was stopped and i said i didn't have a clue and he was like "The noise" and i said what?! and he was like your sterio... and i said but sir i don't have bass speakers and my radio wasn't turned up that loud. It was the car next to me. He said okay and did his thing at his little motorcycle.. ):

So i'm sitting there patiently, y'know, calling him all names under the sun... and well he comes back and says "so can you get a parent to come to court with you?" i said well... yeah... sure. he said "okay. well im not going to write a price on here so just go to court the judge usually dismisses them anyways!"

plus while all this is going on.. some dude driving down the road yells to the cop and says "officer - they was a wreck down yonder!!" and the cop starts mumbling that the guy is gonna cause a wreck.. it was just annoying! completely annoying.

so after i had left and gotten back to micky d's i looked closer at my "ticket" and the fricking dork didn't even write down my violation. >:| so in other words hes hoping i have to pay court costs so that he can fill his QUOTA! grr.... ):

but... at least he didn't write me anything that will go on my permanent record or anything. :D

well i've just concluded that cops are pricks.. and i dislike them all. (sorry rachael and amanda b's dads) but hey.. :) i was innocent!

im looking to get my new phone this weekend.. ill keep you posted mon' capitan!! <--which hey, today was hat day and i wore a sailor hat. :D lovely.