so... today is my last day on here... yea, yea go have a party. no more rambling from me, and no more apathy from you.

 well. its been real. its been good.its been really good!

 last thing i wanna leave you with something....

" you cant take back what you said , and sometimes it will never be forgotten, you cant take it back, but you can control what you will say next.

:) smile.

   alot of time the reason someone appears to hate you is because they are jealous, bitter, or not happy with themselves, so dont loose any sleep over it.

 its okay to be HAPPY. "

 well, thats it.

see ya Punks ;]

“We all when it comes down to it, would rather be loved than to love.”

Yes we all… so you say that’s not true about you well.. then I say you’re either a liar,

or you are lying! :) see that’s where the problem is ...we would rather be loved, right? Well, if you choose to love  you meet other’s needs, and if  we all met others needs everybody’s needs would be met. Kinda  sad because the world doesn’t work that way, though, right? We are to focused on ourselves. I highly recommend that on your new years resolution list you put down help a person everyday…. You don’t know the impact it makes & it might take you’re focus off you for a minute or two.

thanks..

 earlier yesterday i got a little upset about something ive never been concerned with until it actually happened i found myself feeling a bit what the phrase slapped in the face , & i shouldnt have felt like that at all, Im over it now, but whats weird is before it happened i had the exact same deja vous. pretty frickin' weird.

 & speaking of yesterday i went shopping , i really need to get out more half the time i was making people crack up by singing, and dancing & making corny jokes & half the time i was spassing out because people were EVERYWHERE.

 & now today will be prolly be the best day i will have in awhile , christmas play, then.... well thats for me to know, & then i'll prolly spend the night at my best friend's!

:)

so i kinda been thinking.....

    ive had enough of phusebox, i mean you guys are great but its time I realized this isnt doing me much good, i m still on email & still on myspace & i'll prolly find me another blogging website,too. well, starting on january 1st ill be off for good, love you thow.

 

 

so I didn't sleep last night or today for that matter, I'm sick .... well, not sick its more flat out not well, because nothing is really wrong with me like a virus, just pain & I hate it that something can irritate the snot outta me like that.... I got very light headed, & just laying there in bed all night listen to my sister breathe is enough torture for one night.

     so realizing I wasn't gonna get any sleep I turned on the radio & listened for awhile I made like 5 trips to the bathroom just because I was bored, I read the whole book of Ecclesiastes, and Read some of a devotion book, made some coffee & toast & I watched the sun come up except there were clouds so i really didn't see to much besides a pink painted sky, but it was worth it. But Anyways, pray for me to be able to sleep tonight & not be bothered by little irritations! thanks... oh hey I prayed for you guys last night . __ __

i was just thinking about this .....

 this is a lesson on speaking to soon, & its funny so i thought i'd share it ....

 So Austin & I were playing the game of life & he wanted me to tell him something & i wouldnt.

so i spin & land on Baby boy & Austin's like

"haha.. thats what you get for not telling me!"

then he spins & gets twins.... haha.

Im still laughing.... :)

The person who risk nothing, does nothing, has nothing , and is nothing. To laugh is to risk being a fool. To cry is to appear sentimental. To reach out  to others is to risk getting involved. To love is to risk not being loved in return. The person who risks nothing may avoid  suffering and sorrow , but he simply cannot know, feel , change, grow , live or love.

-Leo Buscaglia

did you know that Every minute of everyday theres a baby being born to a teen mother!!!

 this is really sad to me.

I have something to say.... its very unimportant , but on the contrary its something i feel like saying: tonight i went playing in the rain ,there's something wonderful about having wet clothes stick to me & my hair just soaking & flat.... I ran to a very special place to me, there was something special about being there, a lot of memories come flying in my head on that balcony... even though i probably looked like dirt i felt so pretty. & i thought about all the things that happened in the last week, & ya know there s a time for everything . the Lord will give & he'll take away. that really hit me tonight.

When life don’t make too much sense,

& I realize my sense won’t get me to the place I long for,

 But you’re not sure where that place really is anyways,

So I wander aimlessly enjoying every breath I take,

 Not sure about where I‘ll be tomorrow

But knowing I’m falling up is a good feeling,

& knowing I’m going somewhere is beyond comprehension,

 Doing cartwheels when nobody is around,

Turning on the music to actually listen & not fill empty thoughts,

It puts a smile on my face.

Losing should give us a chance to gain,

& having everything I want would just make me miserable,

 Not giving you all but enough is enough for you,

But everything I do give I’ll give my best.

 You can see passion written in my eyes,

My determination is a solid foundation

I’m never near perfect,

but Perfect is never my goal,

My house was built with calluses

achieving all of the some I planned to do is way

better, than some of the all.

I am content, and it’s hungering!

But you’re not sure where that place really is anyways,

& I realize my sense won’t get me to the place I long for

When life don’t make too much sense.

Haha.. these are gonna make some people mad,

but im just joking so don’t flip out!

I found these verses, & I want yall to know I believe God has a sense of humor many times we think hes some boring old man sitting on a throne looking down at us, but hes really not!  Well. … some are sorta gay….

 1 Cor. 13:10“For when perfection comes , the imperfect disappears.”

That means when I enter a room, you are to LEAVE!

James 1:15“then after the desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; & sin when it id full grown gives birth to death.”And that’s how Hitler was born… 1 Cor. 7:9“ but if they can not control themselves, they should marry because its better to marry than to burn with with passion.”

This should be our schools mission statement!

1 Corinthians 13:11“ when I was a child , I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put Childish ways behind me.”

& when I become a MAN ill stop being a little girl!

2 cor.11:19 “you gladly put up with fools since you are so wise.”

Yes, i gladly put up with you!

1 corinthians 7:4 “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also her husband...”So when I get married: on my husbands birthday im gonna buy me some clothes, and wrap them & give them to him, and be like happy birthday ….. ;)Philippians  2:14“do everything without complaining or arguing.”

What..?, Aw Man. Do I have to? This stinks….

Philippians 4:13“ I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

So upon seeing someone jumping off a ten story building, assume they were Christians, this is their favorite verse & they were trying to fly!

1 timothy 6:7“ for we brought nothing in the world & we can take nothing out of it.”

Haha. You ignorant Egyptians …..

Jeremiah 15:16“when your words came I ate them: they were my joy & my delight.”

I think its weird They had alphabet soup back then

 Proverbs 27:14“if a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning it will be taken as a curse.”

Well.Duh,if you wake any of my neighbors up you’d be sure to get cursed, that or egged!

Psalm 40:1“I waited patiently on the Lord,he turned to me & heard my cry.”

& after that I went hoarse for 2 weeks.

Psalm 119Blessed are those whose walk is blameless, & who walk according to the law of the Lord!”

i bet their in shape ,too.good now lets see them run!

Proverbs 16:30

“He who winks with his eye is plotting perversity..”

You know don’t even let anyone blink at you….

 Songs of Solomon 4:1…” your hair is like a flock of goats..”

Ya know that’s why we should be thankful for our hair

 

 what can be good can be BAD if at the wrong time!

 

            Just because something is good DOESNT mean its good now!

 

 

So not many people listen to my blogs anyways, so im just gonna ramble….I don’t really expect anyone to read all this… im really just writing for the heck of it & because it will improve my typing skills, and I might as well write about whats been on my mind…       So one of the girls on the mime team has really been an great personal example to me… I cant explain my feelings towards her I mean maybe jealousy(but not the Cain-killed-Abel-kind) and admiration for sure,uhm…  a desire to be close friends with her! & she has a phusebox , but she doesn’t get on a lot…. Introducing miss Savannah Wheeler! She is amazing, and she has been so sweet to everyone. she is hilarious when she has a question just the way she asks it, It makes me laugh. When I got carsick going to .. Columbia,she was right there by my side making sure I was okay! & she even offered me water from her green jug! J she showed me kindness when she didn’t have to. I can’t explain the desire I have to be a better person…. just because of that girl. So  Thanks a lot look alikey! Next topic I know it seems I have no life right now , so today I guess I wont even though there are plenty of things I need to be doing… but sometimes I think i should just need to stop and look at things… ever feel like your kinda just watching life? Like watching yourself do things, you can be the biggest motivation in your life! Its true you know how to threaten yourself, and how to reward yourself.. the only problem with what I just said is enforcing it! A lot of people say I m to hard on myself, that is funny to me because I am capable of a lot more than anything that looks hard to me.  True I am not physically strong, but i have worked as hard as almost any boy my age & when the days finish I had blisters on my hand & My hair thrown every-which-way ive been there….        also, I am concerned about my future I am, but to be honest I am more concerned with the present ,because that will soon be your past, and you have to start living right now to lead up to where you wanna be right later. Besides you can’t do certain things when your 25 you can do when you’re my age… even though I will still have sleepovers when I am old! I am just saying I will not spend every waking minute wishing I was married and being on my own, because those things are great,but no there will be more problems then than now…  I cant pass one part of life dreaming about the next. 1 Tim 4:12 My next topic with my babbling is about these last few months… I have learned a lot… the hard way!! I wouldn’t take back one day that I had a hard day, because of my failure,and mistakes I made I persevered to do whats right,and it took me awhile but im finally where I am way better than was before my life went chaotic… most people don’t have a clue what im talking about awhile back I got depressed,and found myself being lazy, and rude ,and doing stupid things. If you know some of the things I said & I did it wouldn’t make you to happy! But I think it was more of an attitude. it took some time but I found where I should be,and got right again. & with God I am out of that…& im better than I can remember which means something even though I couldn’t remember what I had for breakfast… but its FINE!     Well, Austin & I have been together a little over 3 months,and its funny we ve been through problem after problem,but we worked through them… there were some times when I didn’t feel totally crazy about something he would say or do, but I can accept him for those things, because I knew his reasoning ,and his motives were right well most of the time they were, and when they weren’t I told him how I felt about it.and I know I annoy the heck out of him with things I do,and say too.. he lets me know, most of the time anyways…. & that’s really what I think a relationship is about working through difficulties, seeing other points of views, learning how to relate, and love! We made this promise to each other that we would always be honest, & I hope we always stand on that! Many times ,in the dating scene problems are swept under the rug or not worked out it’s a training ground for divorce not eventually marriage…I know my relationship isn’t perfect for sure,but knowing Austin has patience with me,and things can be worked out is a good thing and brings a good feeling too.  just knowing we made it this far is wonderful, Its amazing how different we are in things… we are both stubborn & hardheaded that is for sure. But we are a lot alike too. What if Austin & I wont last more than a few months well…I would miss him a lot but I would be happy for having those months because he taught me a lot & at least we tried, but I never want to end a relationship because of an argument or misunderstanding.   Next topic this could take awhile you know?I am going to be a Hawaiian girl with a few girls I have selected for a wedding next Saturday, my dad is the preacher & he has to be Elvis. but anyways, I have to watch hawaiian dancer movies , choreograph something & teach it to the girls good enough, to perform for a wedding…. The girls involved are spending the night at my house next Friday .. this will be a blast. If any of you (Carmen Grace, or Tamara would like to get involved especially Carmen because you went to Hawaii & I think you would be good for this) just have one of those Hawaiian dresses you can use , and let me know & ill give you details , it will be great to have any of you in this, & it will be fun!      Oh yeah, I didn’t get my truth & peace stuff I wanted so bad to be in- in time, I will apply for it next year, but Im really upset, because it would’ve been really good for me… it was due in October & I didn’t have it done in time but I have a friend that’s applied for it , & im rooting for him, and I hope he gets in… since I cant anyways, I hope he can!!! Truth & peace i pretty sure I would’ve been in it, too. Thank you Jarred for recommending me :) it meant a lot. By now im positive no one is reading this … Good! It taken me like 25 minutes to lose your attention..Okay so I don’t understand how anyone could hate Christmas!!!(Austin). I mean to me, Christmas is amazing! sure everyone has this fake merry joy happiness to the world & I love you because its Christmas attitude I don’t like that, because its so cliché & put on …but I mean we are supposed to be giving & remembering Christ’s birth,but we shouldn’t just do things because its Christmas, that’s just silly you know! I like Christmas because one it represents the day jesus was born. Two seeing the little kids excited about everything, three Erin comes over & we celebrate the year of being best friends by roasting marshmallows over an open CANDLE!lol.I love Erin! & four its just the lights, and food & ppl being silly.Hmm. This is getting pretty insane right about now… Last night I talked to Angela … we haven’t talked that long in forever! We talked about EVERYTHING…. We talked about high school & how retarded guys are,& how I need to get Austin to bring a friend with him & we can all go to the movies or something. and we talked about Taylor swift songs, and the 8^th grade .. goodness those were the best times ever, about when I did a toe touch and kicked her in the eye, and how we cracked up in science class everyday OVER SILLY things , one time I was texting with a sub in the class and I told him my head hurt, and he is like ahh I see ,and i put my head on the table while texting, and angela is like Elizabeth & I was like not now im texting, and the sub is like oh I see he was standing right behind me! Oh & when I kissed her on the cheek because she won most friendly, & I won most talented… lol. Ahh.. I love Angela Fay!it feels good to catch up! I miss all my school friends everyday at school was a blast! You guys hold on to your best friends okay?      So I really want to go by Erin , but that’s my other best friends name , but I don’t know, I just love  that name & I love it when people call me that, Especially when Austin calls asking for erin, or Jarred sends emails  Saying hey Erin! Or when I get a comment saying hey miss erin! I love it.. I love the name .. hmm… I also love the name Naybe skylar.. but some ppl think it’s a black kids name…ahem.I just really like it, oh what about Jillian fay .. that’s pretty . or Austin Cayson or Brett lacole? Those are so pretty to me… my baby sister named her baby doll after me isn’t that sweet? Well. Kinda .. I mean the Baby is a Boy!!! But it’s the thought that matters anyways!   I think typing is a lot of fun! I think I have an addiction to it.. no seriously. Not like you don’t believe me after seeing all this … but I mean its awesome. Anyways…You know what bugs me …. When ill be crying & someone asks me what wrong it makes me cry harder not sure why. Im like don’t ask me that… I hate it, I hate crying altogether although it does make feel better a lot. I haven’t cried in like 2 weeks, and even then it was just my eyes getting watery nothing serious, and that was at mime practice ,and I felt like an idiot for even doing that….. but I don’t know I deal with teardrops from a lot of ppl & when they do it its okay they can do it,and I don’t think they are being babies or anything! its just me doing it that gets me… when I was in 5^th & 6^th grade there wasn’t a day I prolly hadn’t cried… but tears are serious to me & when you are hurt so bad you cant cry oh that’s the worst! So. Yall remember your not a baby if you cry, and no one is to tough to cry…..

 I think that’s about it. Thank you even though im pretty sure no one read all of this,and if you did & understood it congratulations! You just lost 20 minutes of your life!

-ERIN

so when drawing this picture i was inspired by a beautiful mime...& i tried to draw her in her exactness( i drew this about a year ago) , & put it on the fridge at my house.... Hannah walks up & says to me "why does tyler have Really dark hair like that, Elizabeth are you colorblind? or you could you not find a yellow crayon?" i was like its not Tyler. then my sister courtney walks up,"Hey Erin! thats a great picture you drew of yourself except you dont have bangs like the picture!" i was like its not me its....then my mom walks in the room.. "oh Elizabeth this is a wonderful picture of Abe!!! you are so talented!"."AH its not Abe its Mckenna!" a few days later then Erin comes over hey Elizabeth is that Levi?or Austin??omg.yeah, i was in bedrest for like 2 weeks after that....lol. just goes to show that its all in the eye of the beholder...
photo from  

 guys Please stop this drama!

If someone does something you dont like , im not trying to be all perfect, but JUST PRAY FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!! thats all you really need to anyways! :( im sorry guys this will happen many times in life!please stop it! stop yelling at each other we're  on the SAME TEAM!! its making me sad, & i dont like sad!

Psalm 139:15-16 "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Thats my favorite Bible verse , & i know that this a little elementary, But there is no other Me! & thats COOL.same goes for you!

 I like it ,  & i love it! :)

 

I am thankful for you guys.. i am on my way up to illinois ... love yall im still on internet thow. MUAH! bye children, be good & dont roll my house!

:)

Okay.. proofing my point ...

even though you guys didnt quite gimme the answer Elizabeth wanted.. i was looking for what matters TO YOU.

 What matters to Kaelynn , might not matter to me,

& what matters to me might not matter to Carmen,

& what matters to Carmen might not matter to Jacob!

 But somewhere we cross the line in what matters , and things that are important to you today prolly dont matter tomorrow.

 But whats gonna matter when your old , and you finished the race? those things should be the ultimate goal, the

ULTIMATE MATTER!

    IF we were talking science any thing that occupies space ... is matter .. so THAT MEANS EVERYTHING SHOULD MATTER .. right?

From a society perspective ...

Money, fame, popularity, love/lust- all that matters ??

 from a biblical perspective ....

Philipians 4:8

  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.

  WHAT is it that matters?

whose perspective are you looking at anyways?

 

 

 

Why should it matter?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD3xPzmRkx0

You have to listen to this, i know this song has an alternate meaning to it ,to which i dont prefer but i like the innocent meaning to itjust the lyrics itself, this song is amazing! especially with the chipmunks singing it!

Well. It was great coming home again….by home I mean camp. sweet as hershey kisses! I came up there with a headache but I managed to deal with it, it was really great coming there , seeing a few friends. My testimony wasn’t hard doing at all, and I got a little nervous, But it was cool, getting away from around here…. So last night was good. We went to our cabins, and tlked awhile, when some mysterious person texted ellen , and said something about murdering us , and being in the cabin with us , and that we forgot to lock the back door, we got a little scared…. So me & Ellen slept on the same bed… well. It turns out im still alive so.. that’s pretty cool . We went to mcds in our pjs got a lot of stares, but hey its alright.

    This was an awesome experience , im soo happy ( but tired right now)!!!

    So…..with the camp atmosphere I remember the camp stories! I forgot about this but when I was about 12 I had this Hershey’s shirt, & This guy David nicknamed me Hershey’s, and the entire camp called me that. Theres a really good story with that but I wont bore you. & year after year that’s what they called me, soon it stopped, but now its sorta back up again. I saw David last night ( might I add he’s getting pretty tall) He Said Hey Hersheys I couldn’t help but Smile….. Hersheys & the good old days, When life was all about Living! :) I realized I wanna be Hersheys again…

so i was thinking about all my different passwords i have.....

& it turns out it tells a very interesting story.....

 i like that, when you can make passwords tells something about you :)

im very sentimental i suppose!hey im female! but like anybody cares.....

 ill be gone in a hour, i need to be focused on wat im gonna say , but there are too many distractions on my mind right now.... im pretty excited though, i get to see some ppl i havent seen in forever.. some people im not sure i want to , but Its all good. Love you!

so here it is...

Heres the ketchup!

 1- I am in the christmas play we are having dec 16, and i have a fairly big role in that if you end up coming look for Betsy (thatd be me.) Alex(erin), Mackenna(sarah)!

2- I am going back to school in January, but between now & then i am being pressed to finish my books... not fun!

3- friday night thru saturday i will be out at camp, waitressing & giving my camp testimony on that! ( BIG HONOR)

4-Monday im also giving my testimony!

5- I LOVE YOU guys!

6- next week from wednesday i will be gone for thanksgiving til sunday!

7- went to work today

8-i am actually doing okay, sickish been like that for awhile,like 2 weeks but good . i am reaLLY GLAD Jarreds back. thats about it i guess... yeah, so now i need some fries,& prayer with that!

well. yeah...

 

 

 

haha. j'ai perdu ma tête

my eyes fill with tears when i see a person fall....

down at that alter,they heard my dear Lord call.

i wonder why i cry when someones on their knees,

maybe it cause i know it should ve been me.

 (Chorus)

i have  so much to live for,

 just living for my death,

boys an cars really dont matter

when i dont know my Last breath.

when im just sitting there thinking

of things good for me,

im sick of doing that now

when a person gave his life for me.

 

cryin' over a silly boy not my idea of fun,

 when life gets harder than before

 i realized the strong dont run,

when i get into some drama

all i need to do, is tell you that im sorry

take me back you do, cuzzz...

(chorus)

i wont live in the past

thats not what im looking towards,

my eyes are in heaven Gods who I live for,

 i made a lot of mistakes,

 but i learn from them you see,

I give you lots mercy like my God gave me

 

 

It's just a matter of time a few days ago
I saw you, you were fine
Remembering what you said
About the book you read
The one I got you
The Beginning of the End
Oh how we'd talk
For hours upon end
What I would give
Just to do it again
But you're lying there
In this hospital bed
Won't you open your eyes
And let's talk once again....
If you fly away tonight
I want to tell you that I love you
I hope that you can hear me
I hope that you can feel me
If you fly away tonight
I want to tell you that I'm sorry
That I never told you
When we were face to face
Well I've been here all night
And I'm watching you
Breathe in and breathe out
Is it really you
Or just a machine
That's giving you life
And it's making it seem
That there could be hope
I could say to your face
If it weren't for you
That there would be no grace
That's covered my life
You took the time
To speak into my mind
And my heart
Words of life
So goodbye for now
And I'll see you again
Some way, somehow
When it's my time to go
to the other side
I'll hold you again
And melt at your smile
Now all I have
Are the ones that I'm with
And you taught me not
To take for granted
The time that we have
To show that we care
Speak into their minds
And their hearts
While they're here
And say I love you

                                       so i heard this song tonite , and its what i need to say right now.....  its called things left unsaid!