Phusebox

the longest blog ever written in the history of yours,mine & our blogging!!!

November 30 2007

So not many people listen to my blogs anyways, so im just gonna ramble….I don’t really expect anyone to read all this… im really just writing for the heck of it & because it will improve my typing skills, and I might as well write about whats been on my mind… So one of the girls on the mime team has really been an great personal example to me… I cant explain my feelings towards her I mean maybe jealousy(but not the Cain-killed-Abel-kind) and admiration for sure,uhm… a desire to be close friends with her! & she has a phusebox , but she doesn’t get on a lot…. Introducing miss Savannah Wheeler! She is amazing, and she has been so sweet to everyone. she is hilarious when she has a question just the way she asks it, It makes me laugh. When I got carsick going to .. Columbia,she was right there by my side making sure I was okay! & she even offered me water from her green jug! J she showed me kindness when she didn’t have to. I can’t explain the desire I have to be a better person…. just because of that girl. So Thanks a lot look alikey! Next topic I know it seems I have no life right now , so today I guess I wont even though there are plenty of things I need to be doing… but sometimes I think i should just need to stop and look at things… ever feel like your kinda just watching life? Like watching yourself do things, you can be the biggest motivation in your life! Its true you know how to threaten yourself, and how to reward yourself.. the only problem with what I just said is enforcing it! A lot of people say I m to hard on myself, that is funny to me because I am capable of a lot more than anything that looks hard to me. True I am not physically strong, but i have worked as hard as almost any boy my age & when the days finish I had blisters on my hand & My hair thrown every-which-way ive been there…. also, I am concerned about my future I am, but to be honest I am more concerned with the present ,because that will soon be your past, and you have to start living right now to lead up to where you wanna be right later. Besides you can’t do certain things when your 25 you can do when you’re my age… even though I will still have sleepovers when I am old! I am just saying I will not spend every waking minute wishing I was married and being on my own, because those things are great,but no there will be more problems then than now… I cant pass one part of life dreaming about the next. 1 Tim 4:12 My next topic with my babbling is about these last few months… I have learned a lot… the hard way!! I wouldn’t take back one day that I had a hard day, because of my failure,and mistakes I made I persevered to do whats right,and it took me awhile but im finally where I am way better than was before my life went chaotic… most people don’t have a clue what im talking about awhile back I got depressed,and found myself being lazy, and rude ,and doing stupid things. If you know some of the things I said & I did it wouldn’t make you to happy! But I think it was more of an attitude. it took some time but I found where I should be,and got right again. & with God I am out of that…& im better than I can remember which means something even though I couldn’t remember what I had for breakfast… but its FINE! Well, Austin & I have been together a little over 3 months,and its funny we ve been through problem after problem,but we worked through them… there were some times when I didn’t feel totally crazy about something he would say or do, but I can accept him for those things, because I knew his reasoning ,and his motives were right well most of the time they were, and when they weren’t I told him how I felt about it.and I know I annoy the heck out of him with things I do,and say too.. he lets me know, most of the time anyways…. & that’s really what I think a relationship is about working through difficulties, seeing other points of views, learning how to relate, and love! We made this promise to each other that we would always be honest, & I hope we always stand on that! Many times ,in the dating scene problems are swept under the rug or not worked out it’s a training ground for divorce not eventually marriage…I know my relationship isn’t perfect for sure,but knowing Austin has patience with me,and things can be worked out is a good thing and brings a good feeling too. just knowing we made it this far is wonderful, Its amazing how different we are in things… we are both stubborn & hardheaded that is for sure. But we are a lot alike too. What if Austin & I wont last more than a few months well…I would miss him a lot but I would be happy for having those months because he taught me a lot & at least we tried, but I never want to end a relationship because of an argument or misunderstanding. Next topic this could take awhile you know?I am going to be a Hawaiian girl with a few girls I have selected for a wedding next Saturday, my dad is the preacher & he has to be Elvis. but anyways, I have to watch hawaiian dancer movies , choreograph something & teach it to the girls good enough, to perform for a wedding…. The girls involved are spending the night at my house next Friday .. this will be a blast. If any of you (Carmen Grace, or Tamara would like to get involved especially Carmen because you went to Hawaii & I think you would be good for this) just have one of those Hawaiian dresses you can use , and let me know & ill give you details , it will be great to have any of you in this, & it will be fun! Oh yeah, I didn’t get my truth & peace stuff I wanted so bad to be in- in time, I will apply for it next year, but Im really upset, because it would’ve been really good for me… it was due in October & I didn’t have it done in time but I have a friend that’s applied for it , & im rooting for him, and I hope he gets in… since I cant anyways, I hope he can!!! Truth & peace i pretty sure I would’ve been in it, too. Thank you Jarred for recommending me :) it meant a lot. By now im positive no one is reading this … Good! It taken me like 25 minutes to lose your attention..Okay so I don’t understand how anyone could hate Christmas!!!(Austin). I mean to me, Christmas is amazing! sure everyone has this fake merry joy happiness to the world & I love you because its Christmas attitude I don’t like that, because its so cliché & put on …but I mean we are supposed to be giving & remembering Christ’s birth,but we shouldn’t just do things because its Christmas, that’s just silly you know! I like Christmas because one it represents the day jesus was born. Two seeing the little kids excited about everything, three Erin comes over & we celebrate the year of being best friends by roasting marshmallows over an open CANDLE!lol.I love Erin! & four its just the lights, and food & ppl being silly.Hmm. This is getting pretty insane right about now… Last night I talked to Angela … we haven’t talked that long in forever! We talked about EVERYTHING…. We talked about high school & how retarded guys are,& how I need to get Austin to bring a friend with him & we can all go to the movies or something. and we talked about Taylor swift songs, and the 8^th grade .. goodness those were the best times ever, about when I did a toe touch and kicked her in the eye, and how we cracked up in science class everyday OVER SILLY things , one time I was texting with a sub in the class and I told him my head hurt, and he is like ahh I see ,and i put my head on the table while texting, and angela is like Elizabeth & I was like not now im texting, and the sub is like oh I see he was standing right behind me! Oh & when I kissed her on the cheek because she won most friendly, & I won most talented… lol. Ahh.. I love Angela Fay!it feels good to catch up! I miss all my school friends everyday at school was a blast! You guys hold on to your best friends okay? So I really want to go by Erin , but that’s my other best friends name , but I don’t know, I just love that name & I love it when people call me that, Especially when Austin calls asking for erin, or Jarred sends emails Saying hey Erin! Or when I get a comment saying hey miss erin! I love it.. I love the name .. hmm… I also love the name Naybe skylar.. but some ppl think it’s a black kids name…ahem.I just really like it, oh what about Jillian fay .. that’s pretty . or Austin Cayson or Brett lacole? Those are so pretty to me… my baby sister named her baby doll after me isn’t that sweet? Well. Kinda .. I mean the Baby is a Boy!!! But it’s the thought that matters anyways! I think typing is a lot of fun! I think I have an addiction to it.. no seriously. Not like you don’t believe me after seeing all this … but I mean its awesome. Anyways…You know what bugs me …. When ill be crying & someone asks me what wrong it makes me cry harder not sure why. Im like don’t ask me that… I hate it, I hate crying altogether although it does make feel better a lot. I haven’t cried in like 2 weeks, and even then it was just my eyes getting watery nothing serious, and that was at mime practice ,and I felt like an idiot for even doing that….. but I don’t know I deal with teardrops from a lot of ppl & when they do it its okay they can do it,and I don’t think they are being babies or anything! its just me doing it that gets me… when I was in 5^th & 6^th grade there wasn’t a day I prolly hadn’t cried… but tears are serious to me & when you are hurt so bad you cant cry oh that’s the worst! So. Yall remember your not a baby if you cry, and no one is to tough to cry…..

I think that’s about it. Thank you even though im pretty sure no one read all of this,and if you did & understood it congratulations! You just lost 20 minutes of your life!

-ERIN

&hearts;...blue eyes...&hearts;

December 01 2007

well...that was random. um...give me more info about the wedding. sounds fun. i really like the name faryn delancy...weird i know. i pick out a bunch of other ones. that's what i do when i'm bored :P! and our pastor's wife did this thing called sister to sister and she spoke on tears. it was amazing!!! the main verse was Psalm 56:8! you should read it. it makes me feel better