well, i would have posted sooner, but my mom grounded me from the computer for something off-the-wall...oh well...so now i'm at mtsu with her and i persuaded her to let me on...i'm so happy...

don't know how much longer it will be till i can get back on here more regularly, but know this for now...

i love you all!!
mucho love,
[becca]

nothing to say.

leave amazing remarks and i will post again...

mucho love!!
[::me::]

i need meds or something...

one random thing about me:

i'm obsessed with black and white photos...
(if that wasn't already evident enough)

it only hurts when i breathe...

IN THE BEGINNING OF 2005...



Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? nope
How old were you? 14
What was your outlook on the world? it was horrible
How were you doing at school/your job? horribly
What did you most look forward to? Wednesday nights
Did you make New Year's Resolutions? yes
What was your biggest worry? that i would screw up my life
Who was your best friend? Chris Morgan
What did you do with your spare time? got online
What did you do for fun? nothing


IN THE MIDDLE OF 2005: SUMMER

Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no
Had your outlook on the world changed? no
What things happened during summer? bad
Did you get a tan? nope
Who'd you hang out with? uhh...not many people...just the close ones...
Did you go visit anywhere? Denver, CO
What was your biggest worry? that i was going to lose one of my best friends
What was the most fun event that happened? going to denver

AND AS THE YEAR DRAWS TO AN END...

How old are you? 15
What major changes have happened since the year began? changing churches
Is your life any different from when it started this year? heck yes
What thing that happened stands out in your mind? losing a friend
Did You Fall in Love? no
How have you changed? in too many ways
Are you happy with how the year went? not really

FOR 2006...

Do you think it'll be better or worse than this year? who knows
What do you plan to do next year? i don't know
What are your New Year's resolutions? didn't make any, and i won't
Who are you spending New Year's Eve with? i spent it with gabi, my family, and stephen slate (well, part of it)

AND TO WRAP IT UP...

What one thing would you like to say as the year is almost done?
 i just want 2005 to be in the past...i hated that year in so many ways...

so......

met a boy today...

had a great christmas...

phusebox is back up and running...

so, therefore, life is good...

life is...well, chaotic at the moment..

too many people hate me for reasons unknown to me. probably something they made up in their tiny little brain...

[becca]

...this sucks...

my days have been so normal lately...it's kind of like i've memorized my lines and i'm going through the day just doing what i've memorized...not a real life...a scripted one...i keep waiting for someone to yell, "cut! now let's take it back and try this scene over..." but it's not happening...



maybe church will help a little...

just found out i was mentioned in the dnj on thursday for bowling. go me!!

go here to see it!!


i am so proud of myself...haha...

mucho love!!
[becca]

i want my camera back. i took it to denver, and now i can't find it.

maybe i can get my dad to let me borrow his for a while..

i'm in a picture-taking mood...
i take that back...i'm always in a picture-taking mood...

i have an announcement to make:

randy rodden is my new best friend.

this time it happened, it's the worst so far.

pray harder than you ever have...

----------------------------------------------------------------
even though so many bad things have happened today with me and my brother, while i was waiting for my mom to pick me up at the school after lunch, i saw none other than, nathan moore...yeah, the guy who started all of this...i was upset and all (still crying at this point), and he was there to see his sister, so i kept quiet...but it was still amazing...

that was the only thing positive that happened today...the ONLY thing...

pretty sure bowling rocks my face off!! yeah, we won today...again...haha...my bowling girls mean the world to me, and i wouldn't have been able to accomplish any of this without josh...bowling is basically my life...haha...those of you who know me know that's the truth!

well, i think i'm gonna go...thanks meag and jess for your comments, hopefully i will see you tonight at church...

mucho love!!
[becca]

01. Sleep with or without clothes on? on...duh
02. Prefer black or blue pens? black
03. Dress up on Halloween? no
04. Like to travel? of course
05. Like someone? definately
06. Do they know? most likely...
07. Who sleeps with you every night? my teddy bear that i made in denver!
08. Think you're attractive? definately not.
09. Want to get married? heck yeah!
10. To? a boy...
11. Are you a good student? depends on what class you're talking about! lol...
12. Are you currently happy? extremely
13. Have you ever cheated on someone? never had anyone to cheat on...
14. Birthplace? Nashville, TN
15. Christmas or Halloween? definately christmas
16. Colored or black-and-white photos? black-and-white
17. Do long distance relationships work? nope
18. Do you believe in astrology? not really
19. Do you believe in love at first sight? nope
20. Favorite CD? Voices of Lee
21. Do you consider yourself the life of the party? not really
22. Do you drink? nope
23. Do you make fun of people? uhh...lol...
24. Do you think dreams eventually come true? some of them
25. Favorite fictional character? don't know
26. Go to the movies or rent? movies, definately
27. Have you ever moved in your entire life? yeah, like 8 times
28.
Have you ever stolen anything? yeah...
29. How's the weather right now? cool, but awesome
30. Hug or kiss? hugs
31. Last person you talked to on the phone? my mommy
32. Last person who told you they love you? uhh...candace
33. Loud or Soft Music? depends on the mood i'm in
34. McDonalds or Burger King? DEFINATELY mcdonalds
35. Night or day? night
36. Number of Pillows? as many as possible...lol...
37. Piano or guitar? guitar
38. Future job? photographer/teacher/missionary...don't know yet
39. Current job? i need one...
40. Current love? god
41. Current longing? feeling loved
42. Current disappointment? my grade in science (failing!! ahh!)
43. Current annoyance? my brother yelling in my ear
44. Last thing you ate? peanut butter sandwhich
45. Last thing you bought? 2 mountain dews
46. Most recent thing you are looking forward to? christmas
47. What are you wearing right now? jeans, bowling shirt, socks, shoes...the normal...
48. Plans for this weekend? uhh...nothing?
49. What did you do today? went to school, then bowling
50. Pick a song lyric: "Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye.."

why do i always feel like a failure?

no matter what i do, i always seem to fail in some way....

he wasn't at bowling this morning...i wish i could have seen him to straighten all of this out...

the last thing i want to end up happening is losing another valuable person in my life....gah...

today sucked...
that's it for now...
mucho love!
[becca]

*edit*
maybe going to see the messiah with my mom at mtsu might help me a little...depends on how much it is to get in...hmm...

a friend told him that i was obsessed with him...

dang this sucks.

i guess i should tell him soon how i feel about him...
how he makes me laugh when i'm having the worst day.
how i can only be happy around him.
how my life wouldn't be as great as it is without him.
how i wouldn't be me if it weren't for him.

but i can't...
i can't take the risk of losing another amazing friendship...unlike so many i've already ruined..

i think that battle of the bands is tonight...hahaha...it's going to be amazing...

i need something to cheer me up...something's been bogging down my mind lately...i'm so out of order...