right now it is 12:16am... therefore, it is the 19th! I DID IT!!! yay! *dances* God is so awesome! i can't believe a year ago God told, right after i woke up by the way, that he wanted me to take a year off from dating. and now, a year later, i can say i did it. and tell you for hours what God did in my heart and in my life. i will definitely post more on this later today, but it is 12 something in the morning...and sleep sounds good. and not only is today great because of that, but i am going to 722!!! yay!

amber was so kind to go with me to take pictures today! it was a lot of fun...that is until we had some complications. and i will leave it at that. but a word of warning to people that enjoy photography: some people just don't understand art...and some people don't like young people, and some people don't like you being in their town unless you are from there. just a warning...



photo from rachael

but i did get some pictures...check them out in my photo box if you want.

oh and i must say that the message today really just slapped me in the face. if you read my previous post and realized the underlying emotion in it then perhaps you would understand why i loved and needed to hear the this morning. i just laugh at my foolishness sometimes. i am extremely thankful that even when i am faithless, God is faithful.

but i am going to be meeting up with my lovely friend lauren in a little bit. but i hope everyone is having a great day!

i think sometimes that i forget that i have POWER in Christ. and when i am getting attacked by satan, with the power through Jesus, i can overcome that. i can't wait until the day when i can boldy say this is me...this is where i came from, this is my life...this is what God did in it. i can't wait until i can find my security in God. i want to stand firm, nothing moving me... i want to realize that God alone can meet and go beyond any expectations that i do so foolishly make... he will NEVER disappoint me... i want to really, really, for sure, realize that God loves ME. that i am truly treasured by someone... i hate being an emotional mess, so i guess in cari terms i am having an "emo day"... and i hate how those days can flow over into your relationships with people...and make everything all blah. so sorry to anyone that i may of made upset due to my emo-ness. and i am tired...full of thoughts and emotions... a tad sad, a tad lonely, and most of all just plain confused. oh well, that is life. and God is faithful and loving enough, that despite who i am , he will rise me up. so that should give me great hope, eh? sorry that i am all sad and down and crap...and crying, which you can't exactly see...but shhhhhh, so sorry for the "emo" post...and i am gonna stop now because the tears are totally making it so i can't see the stupid keyboard...haha that made me laugh. i hope everyone has a super great day! please remember that God loves you!!!

I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and it is frowned upon in most societies."

wow. that my friends would be from charlie and the chocolate factory. i went to see it at midnight at the imax. pretty sure that is one of my new favorite movies! bascially i laughed the entire time, it was GREAT!!! i really want to see it again! yay for us cool kids (bj, monica, justin, and jonathan) that went to see it last night!!! i recommend all you fellow readers go see it as well. yes, that means YOU.

okay, so something pretty big hit me last night. well, you see this massive fish just kinda fell from the sky and pounded me right on my head during that storm last night...ok, so that really didn't happen, but it kinda feels that way when God shows you something... one thing i need to remember when i am going through anything, is who God is. remember his character. he IS loving, compassionate, secure, in control, forgiving, kind, ridiculously generous, full of grace...he is I AM. and knowing who he is can surely help you along your journey. just a thought. okay, well i gotta get ready to go to the world of slobber and dirty diapers. yay for me!!! i hope everyone has a great day!!!

photo from rachael

fun times tonight! we are shaking our hair! we had a little party going on at our super "fab" table. and the best part was when bj was talking about texas...."everything's big in texas.....oooo!!! maybe i'll grow!!!" hahahaha!!! love it!

jonathan got me the best little bird! i named him pe-pe



photo from rachael

if you like to see pe-pe on his many adventures check out my photo box

well kids that is about it. tonight was great fun! i hope everyone has a great day!!!

God has blessed me with great friends.

a WEEK. just a week. crazy. yep, tis true, i only have a week left in my commitment! God has brought me sooooo far.

...and i really don't have anything to special to say. except that i really love strawberry cupcakes/cake. now that makes me happy. have a great night!!!

well i decided that i needed to clear my head, and one of the best ways for me to do this is go somewhere random and take pictures. well, i drove and drove... and drove some more. i saw this one road, but passed it...so turned on this one road to turn around. well, as i was driving, i noticed that this was a pretty cool little road. and then as i approached a stop signed i looked to my right at this great little town. i felt like i was on a movie set. i was most definitely in picture heaven...



photo from rachael



photo from rachael



photo from rachael

so there's a few pictures... i wanted to take more, but there were two men looking at me strangely... perhaps they don't see many "city" girls come and take pictures...who knows...but i gotta go on another drive...to woodbury! have a great day!

so last night a group of us went to the drive-in. i have been trying to do this for a while now, but every time it just didn't work out...but!!! finally it did!



photo from rachael

it was a great experience! and tons of people were there... and we made the people behind us mad because the truck was bigger than theirs...but oh well...



photo from rachael

yeah, that was a lot of people to fit in one truck bed and watch two movies, but it worked out. yay for funnel cakes, drive-ins, and fun people. and also for great scenery. the drive-up there was great, i do believe i will have to go back up there with my camera one day. and the stars look amazing!!! and also yay for when they finally cut country music off and we listened to matt wertz! j/k guys, your country isn't too terrible...

i guess i am going to go have my lazy saturday! watching movies is my thing to do! and thank you sarah and amy for your comments on that previous post. i am sorry that i had to be so negative, but then again, that is just human to be hurt and show emotion. but thank you! i love you guys! i hope everyone has a great day!!!

let me take like five seconds to be negative and honest; which i don't like to be, but for the sake of getting stuff out at like 2:41am when no one is up...and most likely will delete this in the morning anyhow... right now, i am not okay. i feel super insecure, hurt, and tons of other things that i do not like to feel. feelings that i should not have to feel quite honestly, especially because this situation is not even okay. not even. but i will continue to be a prayer warrior. and take rachel's great advice over the situation, and let it hurt for a little bit and then move on and give it to God, and try to remember his promises. he is faithful. even when i can't see it, he is. this really does not feel good at all.....

but!!! i went to a drive-in tonight and it was fun fun! i will post about that later...

hope everyone has a great night!

i really feel like i want to post something, yet i have nothing to say...which if you could take one minute to be like a super hero or something then you could possibly read my mind and tell that i had a lot going on up there...too much thought for me equals no words to express that... at least a lot of the time anyways...

so bj, becca, and i went to marble slab and then to her house to watch 'big fish' tonight. from what i did see of the movie it was good...i missed the last thirty minutes, but oh well. the reasons were worth it and i can just borrow it or rent it.

i really feel God pressing the power of prayer upon my heart. i know i have to be a prayer warrior because that is all i can be and can do sometimes. God is blessing me with such meaningful and healing relationships right now. first, for the past few months i have had an opportuntity to get close to the moore family. i enjoy every moment that i am around them. they each have blessed, encouraged, and inspired me in ways they will never know. it is so refreshing and inspiring to be around a godly family. and especailly nathan, who means more to me than i could ever epxress in words. he has challenged me in huge ways and sets an awesome example of a man of God. i have also had the chance to talk to clint and rachel. both awesome leaders and have given me great advice during the recent 'bumps' i have experienced. also, i have been able to spend time with some of the youth. i love you guys! (and i am not mentioning all the names of youth b/c i am tired and don't want to leave anyone out) that may of seemed off subject, but it all flows together...along with the power of prayer being pressed upon my heart, i feel i am entering a time of healing. healing from insecurities and past hurts. i feel so blessed to have a Father that loves me enough to want to work through all the junk in my heart so that i can be a better tool for him. may it all be for his glory. sometimes i feel sad and lost, but i know i am in his hands. he will never let me out of his sight.

but now that i have rambled away i am going to bed. i hope everyone has a great night!

i am going to be different from a lot of the others on here and post on something other than the 4th of july.

God loves us. He is in control. even if things seem horrible, even in our darkest moments...like your heart being broken into 50 billion pieces, a loved one passing away, family problems, friend problems, depression, and any other trial where you feel helpless, hopeless, abandoned, hurt, betrayed, confused, insecure, broken, shameful, alone, lost... God is holding you in his hands. and you may feel like everything around you is crashing down all around you.... you feel your heart breaking into 50 billion pieces, know, please know, that you are alive and well in His hands. He is taking care of you. HE IS FAITHFUL even when we are faithless (2 tim. 2:13), HE IS GOD, that says a lot guys. hello! come on. HE IS GOD. who else can say that and really mean it??? *for louie giglio lovers (who can say that there name is I AM???)* He is the One who wrote this story, the Creator, the Healer, your Savior, your Father, basically, He is everything. He is in control of everything, He will not let you fall out of His hands. He has a hold of you. He loves you!!! and no matter what may come your way remember Him. remember Him even when the waves feel like they are crashing over you. because if you look beyond all that stuff you will see His hand holding yours.

[i am trying not to look at those waves, i am pressing on through the storm. i am alive in His hands. and i am confident that everything will be okay. unwavering faith is what i must have now.]

i hope that everyone had a great 4th (okay so i mentioned it) and a great day today!

2 Cor. 4:8-12

so today a really cool person came home. sarah and i went to pick him up at the ariport. it was not as scary as i thought it would be. it was actually quite fun. we rode on the moving side walk thing, and ate some breakfast. then we made nathan a sign...



photo from rachael

and luckily we found him. so i have been able to hang out with him today! and that makes me very happy! fun times at both wal-marts and bed,bath, and beyond. that is until i got tired...but because nathan has had very little sleep, it got rather entertaining toward the end.

but! everyone is taking a nap now... so i am just sitting at home waiting around. naps aren't a good idea for me. i hope everyone has a great night and a good 4th!

guess what time i got home last night??? ummm about 5:00 am. l-o-n-g trip, but so worth it. it started out with a large bag of cheese puffs, ok, so it really started out with a lot of rain, but i like the cheese puffs a lot better. cheese puffs, orange soda, and three chocolate bars. yeah, those melted. oh well. anyway, so after we got our food, we were off to ohio. we stopped by bethany's grandparents house to eat lunch. they kept offering us all kinds of food. haha. they were so nice! so hours later we arrived in some city, a little past dayton. some people were smart and sat outside the concert by the fountain. if i lived there, i would so do that. howie day went on first, then gavin went on. it was a pretty good show. i got distracted about 80% of the time, due to the interesting people around us. and on the way back comes the best parts in my opinion. if you starbucks lovers ever wished to yourselves, "man, i wish this place was opened 24 hours...", well i went to one!!! oh yeah, a 24 hour starbucks!!! i heard some angels sing in the back ground. it was pretty great. and then i laughed so hard when elizabeth stuck her head out the window at the mcdonalds drive through because of some smells coming from a gas station sandwich. haha. she rolled my window down too. haha. wow. then we stopped to take pictures of the scariest/funniest Jesus statue i have ever seen.



photo from rachael

i am just glad i am already a christian. that would creep me out a bit if i wasn't. wow.

great conversations, big bags of cheese puffs, good music, a 24 hour "heaven", and a really really really big Jesus statue. that basically sums it up. fun times.

well, kids, i hope you have a terrific day!

photo from rachael

so, yep, we went to see andy davis tonight. before that we saw 'war of the worlds', which was weird, but very intense. but back to andy. it was a great show. he played some new songs... he was behind us at one point, and so was matt wertz. it was a great show, but nothing can compare to the first time i saw him. the one thing that made that time so special was missing...

so tomorrow i am off to another concert. i love going to shows. fun times.

for tonight, as tired as i am, i have far too much on my mind, and far too much junk the devil is throwing at me to sleep very well. please pray for me against the many lies that he keeps telling me. insecurity is a terrible thing... my weakness... and he is using it big time against me. ugh. i hate not feeling okay....

...anyway, it is july (it is 1:09am)! finally! wow. crazyness. so much in july! in 19 days my commitment will be complete! so excited because God has brought me soooo far, and i get to go to NYC!!! whoo hoo! i hope everyone has a great day!

laser quest was so much fun! it was my first time, so i didn't to so well, but that is ok because i had fun!

i am super excited about tomorrow night!!! i am going to see andy davis play!!! whoo hoo! i seriously love andy davis, he is basically my favorite singer. and then friday i am going all the way to ohio to see howie day and gavin degraw. which shall be fun as well! oh oh! and some of us are going to 722 on the 19th! which i am excited about because that is the day that my commitment ends, so it will be a fun way to "celebrate" if you want to call it that.

and i figured out tonight a great mystery. if you have ever been on a school bus and wondered, why do the bus drivers bounce up and down... here is an answer. obviously it has shocks under it, but the purpose you ask. well, apparently it makes the ride smoother. smoother??? no thank you, i prefer to be still while driving, mr. bus driver man.

and now i am off to spen time with God and go to bed!!! i need some rest, that migraine today was a sign for that! ugh. i hope everyone has a great day!!!

wow. that is all i have been able to spit out. such a small word to describe all that God has been doing in my life. he has given me such an excitement about so many things. he is changing my heart. and meeting my desire to be passionate again. i have been feeling my heart long to be passionate and God is meeting that desire head on. i can't wait until i finish typing this so i can go pray about all these things that need prayer. i can't wait because i know that God will work in each and every situation! i am so excited to see him move in each one of those situations and in other people. i have been praying that God's spirit would just flow out of me. and man, is it ever! i am beyond excited! all this for Him! wow. and now i get to go pray to Him! whoo hoo! i hope everyone has a wonderful day! i may see some of you tomorrow! i will be at VBS with my new friend tyler (i love that kid!) and my new found love, my little 3 year old boyfriend, lucas! haha! i love little kids!

some of you may have been told growing up to follow your heart. then somewhere along the line, you are told not to trust your heart. but yet so much is centered around the heart. i am currently reading "the sacred romance". i also read "waking the dead" which deals with some of the same issues. when i read "waking the dead" i felt like my heart was awakened. i knew something was missing, and it was my heart. sometimes we are reminded of the verse that says the heart is deceitful above all things. but then we are also told to guard our hearts because they are the wellspring of life. this leaves much confusion for many people, especially if they hear both sides of all this. i just read the first chapter of "the sacred romance" and i was reminded of the wonderful things God taught me last summer. there IS something more to life. everything can feel so empty if your heart is not in it. passion flows from your heart. love flows from your heart. it truly is the wellspring of life. from your heart, from God's heart, everything flows. "it is in our hearts that we first hear the voice of God and it is in the heart that we come to know him and learn to live in his love." when i read that, all i could think is: wow. God speaks to our hearts, we come to know him through our hearts, we believe in him will all our heart... are you starting to see a pattern here? when Jesus spoke to people, he told stories. stories don't just strike up intelligent thoughts in our heads, they touch our hearts. and think about the great commandments. God said to love Him and others with all your heart. if you ever try to live the christian life just by the rules, and never put your heart into it then you are left feeling empty. that is because God want us to live fully, by loving with all our heart, seeking after him with all our heart, being passionate... "our heart is the KEY to the christian life". it started in your heart when you first believed. don't abandon it. guard your precious gift from God. don't be deceived. let love and passion flow from this wellspring of life. let God speak to you. let Him work in your heart.

wow. that is all i can say about that. God is amazing. let your heart be engaged with Him and let that passion just flow.

now i am really going to bed... with a heart transplant.

did i ever tell you guys i love chocolate milk. well, it is true, i do.

i had my usual saturday... being lazy and watching movies. tonight kristen and i went to eat at lasiesta, which was yummy. then we went to the square to take pictures...ok, so i took pictures and made kristen get in some. but, anyway, then we went to see bewitched with some people from church. i left with a headache, not because the movie was terrible. oh no no. see, i usually leave with a headache. and if someone could tell me an explanation for this, i would be very happy...

and i have realized that i have some cleaning to do tomorrow before my parents come home. that party just trashed my house... there is stuff everywhere, like you know, the usual... dog hair, chewies, socks, dog kibbles, and the blanket, well it is no longer laying flat on the floor, it is in a ball...i had a dog party. just kidding. my dogs are just crazy and made a mess. so i get the lovely job of cleaning it all up. joy.

anywho, i am tired and have been lazy on spending time with God these past couple days. so i want and need to spend time with that cool guy that i know. i know Him, the creator of the universe, my Maker, you know, that really cool guy. and He would like to spend time with you too, just to let you know. yep yep. adios mi amigos. have a great night!

sleepless in seattle is a great movie

and i also love those random summer showers with huge rain drops and the aroma they leave behind...summer evenings and nights are pretty much perfect

kristen and i are going to lasiesta (northfield one) around 6:30 if anyone would like to join us. just give me a call and let me know!

yeah, i know, the title basically explained this post. oh well...

lalalalalalalalala

tonight was fun. after doing the whole birthday thing with my family, i went to see sean mcconnel play. he has an amazing voice. fun times using bottles for facial hair, such as beards, uni-brows, and moustaches



photo from rachael

after all that fun stuff, amy and i went to walmart. crazy lines at the place... so then after amy bought her beloved chapstick we headed to the park. i was extremely disappointed however. i did not get to play! i like to play at the park... oh well... so we went on a walk. elizabeth and i were great leaders i believe. so then it was to steak and shake for us cool kids. sarah joined us in our perilous journey. so yeah... that about sums it all up.

tomorrow night the roosevelts are playing at new vision baptist church. it is at 6:30 and costs 5 dollars ( i think!!!). everyone should go, yes everyone in the world! whaahaha! anyway... oh yes! and this weekend my parents are going out of town, and no this is no invitation to come over and bascially destroy my house, this is merely me being pathetic and telling all you wonderful people that if you wish to hang out i am going to be alone and would love to hang out with great people like you!!! *smiles and batts eyes*

now that somebody's delerium rubbed off on me, i am going to bed... so adios mi amigos! i hope you have a wonderful night/day!