Well, I guess I can't really think of anything too exciting to
say...
Um, yesteray I went back to the boro for the first time
this semester, and it was a blast.  It was so good to take a
weekend I didn't spend entirely in Cleveland, and I guess, just being
able to see all of my friends back home again.  If you didn't see me... sorry? I guess? 
Hooper, Paul, Chris, Kate, Rebecca, and I, along with Mr.Hooper, watched the super bowl at his house, and THE COLTS WON.  Bonus.
YES! PEYTON'S GOT A RING!  Yep, I'm happy.
I guess it's pretty cool that this is my last week of GST, so after
this friday, I'll have one class on Monday's, a cafe and another on
wednesdays, and non on Fridays.  Yeah, it's pretty sweet.
O,and something REALLY cool...
SKIING IN A WEEK AND A HALF!!!
Yep,
I'm going on KCC's ski trip as a youth leader, and after being able
to go down a super tough black diamond last year, I'm pretty psyched
about pretty much skiing as hardcore as I want.  FEB 15-17. 
We leave the 15th at about four PM, five hour drive, get there, rent
our skis, and then ski from like 9AM-10PM on Friday.  Drive back
on Saturday.
SAWWWEEEEETTT!
Okay... there's your update on my
life.
O, and Jentzen Franklin's speaking this coming SUnday night:
I'm pretty pumped, he's probably my favorite speaker I've heard so
far.  he's the only chapel speaker from who I got the CD of his
sermon.

Los comment....os.... right..
Comments?

(Random interjection, my picture is on Lee's homepage!)
The only thing is, it's from behind, and it kind of looks like I'm Hitler, though I'm praising God.
ha, how ironic. Anyway...

Just for anyone who is interested in speaking spanish, and of those who
read this, I think that makes this practical, if you have i-tunes
there's this new pod cast called "spanish coffee break" that started in
October, and it's pretty awesome. There have been 24 episodes so far,
and a new one comes out every week.  And of course, the coolest thing
is that all of it is free, it automatically subscribes you to the pod
cast so that you get the new episode every week.  Yes, it is fairly
basic, but the thing is, it teaches you conversational spanish, and the
teaching method establishes your vocabulary in things you use in
conversation, and I guess the biggest thing is that it hammers into
your memory the conversational words you might have problems
remembering.

Why is poop such a funny word?

Poopity poopity poop poo poo pa choo.
Poo poop poopty poopity poopooty poo.

Yep.

You
always here people say “live a life of worship.” I, myself, had
God tell that to me after prayer once, no more than a couple weeks
ago. And as I walked out of that prayer time, my mentality and
everything was so much.... better. I don't know, there's just
something about constantly having Him on your mind, and to exalt Him
and lift Him up in everything that you do. Living a lifestyle of
worship, all that you do is unto Him.

Well, I
guess I would say this is definitely one of those verses that
encapsulates that.

Psalm
34:1

I will
extol the LORD at all times;
      
his praise will always be on my lips.

His
praise is always on my lips. Now.. I don't really think you can have
any type of productive conversation with other people if you're
constantly saying “Bless Jesus, Blessed be His name, Glory to God!”
I mean, think about it “What's up Adam?” “Blessed be the name
of the Lord, Praised be His name!” “Um.. okay, how was class?”
“Jesus is good, Hallelujah, let His name be exalted!”.. you get
the point. But you can be lifting Him up in every conversation you
have, even when it has nothing to do with God or how good He is or
anything. Living a lifestyle of worship is so much more than
repetitive exaltations to God, at least, in the sense that we
initially think. But no matter what, I should somehow be praising
God in what I'm saying, which makes me think about complaining, about
self pity and loathing, and even about “venting” as we call it.
Is what we're saying praise to God or not? I would say complaining
and self pity really can't ever be, but I would say, however, that we
can vent, and still be lifting God up. What I mean is, I can be
expressing my frustration, weakness, or humanity, to God, but
with this mindset: You're still good, you're still in control, and
I'm letting you know about my problems because You're my abba Father,
you care, and I know you'll help me through this. This, as
opposed to “God, I hate the situation I'm in, and it makes me
think less of You.”

For
instance, if you have the joy of the Lord, you really don't have to
say anything, but you're consistent joyful mentality is an exaltation
to God: because you're letting the world know with your consistent
positive mentality, which is not normal, that God is able to take
typical human cynicism and turn it into joy.
Simply,
if praise to Him is always on my lips, no matter what I say, it is in
some way an attribution to God, His control, His goodness, His
sovereignty, His sustenance,generally speaking, Him, as a good God
who's good no matter what. No matter what.

I'm going to be
honest and say it amazes me how easily a girl can be swayed or
emotionally affected by a guy whenever he does something "sweet,"
in the sense that he says, does, or expresses something complimentary
or just generally speaking, emotional towards the girl.
I can
watch a guy who knows that what he's saying isn't really that
heartfelt or that original say it simply because he knows what a
powerful effect he's going to have on whoever she is, and uses that
to his advantage.
I can also watch how girls melt when they watch
some guy do something "sweet" to any extent and think "O..
he's the man of my dreams!  How I long for such a guy like
that!"
To just be honest, sometimes this makes me sick,
becuase the guy could very well be a jerk with crafty words.
First
thing, I'm not bashing being a sweet, selfless, loving
boyfriend/husband, I totally agree that's how a husband should treat
his wife; that IS the way it should be.
Second thing, I AM saying
that girls can over react to this, and guys use it to their
advantage.

Girls need to understand something: Just because a
guy can write a romantic song, write a romantic poem, or schedule
some romantic date, doesn't mean SQUAT for his character.  To
put it bluntly, this could all just be a well contrived scheme to get
in your pants.  Or, if not to that extreme, to win you over, not
necessarily because he feels the same way about you, but because he's
a guy, and, well, guys want to win the girl. In other words, a guy
doesn't have to feel like he's totally comitted to a girl to write
her a love song, poem, or any of these things, BUT girls tend to
receive such a message: and frequently get their hearts broken. 


Finally, I know this may seem horridly pessimistic.. maybe it
is.  The only thing I'm saying is.. girls, pray and seek God
about guys: just because they can drop a rose at your door, or right
you a cute love song doesn't mean they're the one for you.

I'm going to be
honest and say it amazes me how easily a girl can be swayed or
emotionally affected by a guy whenever he does something "sweet,"
in the sense that he says, does, or expresses something complimentary
or just generally speaking, emotional towards the girl.
I can
watch a guy who knows that what he's saying isn't really that
heartfelt or that original say it simply because he knows what a
powerful effect he's going to have on whoever she is, and uses that
to his advantage.
I can also watch how girls melt when they watch
some guy do something "sweet" to any extent and think "O..
he's the man of my dreams!  How I long for such a guy like
that!"
To just be honest, sometimes this makes me sick,
becuase the guy could very well be a jerk with crafty words.
First
thing, I'm not bashing being a sweet, selfless, loving
boyfriend/husband, I totally agree that's how a husband should treat
his wife; that IS the way it should be.
Second thing, I AM saying
that girls can over react to this, and guys use it to their
advantage.

Girls need to understand something: Just because a
guy can write a romantic song, write a romantic poem, or schedule
some romantic date, doesn't mean SQUAT for his character.  To
put it bluntly, this could all just be a well contrived scheme to get
in your pants.  Or, if not to that extreme, to win you over, not
necessarily because he feels the same way about you, but because he's
a guy, and, well, guys want to win the girl. In other words, a guy
doesn't have to feel like he's totally comitted to a girl to write
her a love song, poem, or any of these things, BUT girls tend to
receive such a message: and frequently get their hearts broken. 


Finally, I know this may seem horridly pessimistic.. maybe it
is.  The only thing I'm saying is.. girls, pray and seek God
about guys: just because they can drop a rose at your door, or right
you a cute love song doesn't mean they're the one for you.

Tonight was the first HYPE, and it went amazingly well.  I was
really surprised how well God helped me bring this thing together. 
He's so awesome!

We had 21 guys show up, besides myself, and
then a 22nd who came midway because he had to be somewhere the first
half, but he brought sandwhiches
The
most we had last semester was 17, and tonight, a night that I was kind
of worried I hadn't announced the first HYPE enough, we had way more
than we've ever had.
Not only that, but man... the discussion, and everything, went so well.

It should be cool to see where HYPE's going to go throughout the rest of this semester.

This semester is good.  God is good.  I love... being here, and seeing what God's going to do with me.
Yep :-)

Wow, I've never really thought of this, I mean, I have, but not in the depth I just did.

John
12: 4But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray
him, objected, 5"Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to
the poor? It was worth a year's wages.^[b]"
6He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was
a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what
was put into it.

We
tend to look at this passage and look so poorly upon Judas, but don't
we do this all the time? Don't we so often look at a situation and spit
out some memorized response, rather than a heartfelt one?

In other words, we frequently handle situations like a church member, rather than like Jesus.

The
point is, Christianity is not about having an instruction manual for
every situation in life, but about a consistent Christ like attitude,
one that's always seeing the world through the passion and love of
Jesus, not through empty, ritualistic approaches mindlessly brought
forward from your denomination's regulations.

Because
if we don't approach situations like this, we'll be the ones looking a
desperate church member in the face asking for money saying "you should
have tithed," looking at a pregnant teenager saying "you should have
been at youth service," or heartlessly telling a heartbroken spouse
that their lost family member "had plenty of chances to come to Christ.

In
other words, if we don't stop ourselves from treating God as teacher
and not Lord, reciting words for religion rather than compassion, it
won't be long before we look ourselves in the mirror and find that we
too, have become, a modern day Judas.

Well, I"m back at Lee, it feels pretty good.  Our retreat thingy for hype was pretty sweet, but what I think was cooler was the meeting I just had with the other floor leader and our chaplain about what we're doing in the dorm this semester for HYPE.  It's going to be awesome.  I definitely believe that my prayers for this semester are going to be answered.

That and classes start tomorrow.  Cool, I guess? 
O, and for spring break I'm going to IRELAND!!!!!!
SAAAAWWEEEEEEEEEET!!
And um... I spent WAY less on books than I thought I'd have to.

I guess that's the important stuff.  God is awesome, looking forward to a year of breakthrough.
Yep :-)

God is getting my attention about something in a manner I don't understand, and quite frankly, it's confusing.
Out
of all the times I've heard people say "I don't understand what God's
doing," or something to that degree, I am experiencing that, probably
to the greatest extent I have in my walk with Him.
It's awesome, sort of, but then again, it's just weird.

God is cool though, because, yeah, He's so big and knows so much more than me!
So even if I'm not hearing Him to well, I still know He knows what He's talking about.

This is one of those that I am the
most satisfied with after having finished... I really feel like I got
across what I was trying to say.  And it's pretty cool, because it came
totally from what a friend of mine is going through.  I don't know, God
is good

Proverbs 19:21

My brokenness is
cracked and bleeding,
My preconceived
plan is fleeting,
All that I knew
before today,
Seems repeatedly
crushed with everything You say.

My open heart is
reeling,
As you're
continually revealing,
A way I won't
foresee until you take my eyes away,
And let them see
that way.

My fragile
thoughts are shattered,
My thoughts ring
with the clatter
Of words against
all that I knew,
Rung with this
plan I only vaguely understand, through You.

My cracked heart
is baking,
In the penetrating
heat of your Son,
I'm done trying to
comprehend your purpose,
For which I've
wrung myself out,
Now I'm undone.
Take my withered
decaying will,
And make it Thine
Own.

So far beyond what I can fathom is the life I'm living now.
Every moment exceeds all paramaters placed around this finite living house In which I'm caved in for now, though with intermittent escape,
Found deep within the eyes of my loving Savior's face.
He gives me insight into a realm not of my own,
And though I can't take full grasp of it now I will  yet take hold
Of the small bits that He offers me today.
Outside of myself, exceeding my restrictions, is His power, in which I find
Remission for all sins, both past and present too, and peace beyond all measure, a truth that's wholly true,
And without such time with Him I know I could not endure,
All the times I spend surrounded by this morally concocted sewer,
And in such place I know that all answers will be found,
As long as You are always my assister, my strengthed fallen crown.
Conquered by none by submitted to o so many,
You are my servant deliverer, my escape for whom I'm ready
To be with forever and ever, abiding by you, I will find my peace,
Beyond what I could fathom.

The other day I had a girl in my class say that "You can't hold that God is
omnipresent and then say that hell would be without the presence of
God."
I guess that kind of makes sense... ish, but I'm pretty sure she's wrong.
What
do you guys think?  I don't agree, and I could argue why I don't, but
I'm interested in what others think on this.  It is quite an
interesting question.  Yes, or no?

I john 3:18

16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life
for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17If
anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has
no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18Dear
children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and
in truth.

Wow.
This seems like one of those verses I just.. missed somehow.  I've read it several times I'm sure.
But man...
Wow.
Let us not love with words, or with our tongue, but with actions, and in truth.

So I had to come back
from thansgiving break early this year, and being here in hughes hall..
and it being quiet is realllllllllly weird.
I'm glad to be occupied with work most of this time. 
So
anyway, bunch of new music I'm listening to, new dead poetic, kids in
the way, new shane and shane, sanctus real, new casting crowns, and new
skillet.
I wuv it!!!!

Yes, I'm coming home for thanksgiving.  Leaving tuesday, coming back to cleveland on Friday to work..
O no no please
Hold your applause.
haha, jk.

I don't understand.  It's so frustrating, depressing, and in the most
sincere manner I convey, I believe it truly hurts me.  To see so many
people, sucked into the chasm, of a size that continually baffles me,
of worthlessness. 

I am so saddened by so many people who simply don't understand the enormous worth in their existence. 

I honestly can't adequately convey it, but the fact is that we are
worth enough, for the Son of God to die for us, and yet we can't seem
to stop giving ourselves away.  Whether it be attaining attention from
guys via clothing that we know is going to get their attention, or
attending parties full of fake people, hoping that these friends we
have will somehow... make us feel accepted.

It kills me to see so many females parading their bodies around to be
captivated by the lustful eye of any passing guy, and even more the
fact that they somehow think that such attention is going to have some
type of pure contingency.

I'm going to be even more honest and say that when I see Christian
girls who don't seem to understand this, and get so lost in
relationships devoid of God and true meaning, I think it hurts me even
more.

To know that I have seen girls who claim to be christians dress more
provocatively than those who don't.... needs some type of attention. 

I just don't understand how someone who apparently knows God.. wouldn't
understand that showing your body for all to see is.. I'm going to use
this.. almost turning your back on God.  Because you're saying that you
want attention from guys who will give you that attention based on your
physique, which is honestly, physical, fleshful, and has nothing to do
with a true love towards marriage.  A guy doesn't go to a girl when he
can see down her shirt thinking "I want to love her and have her for my
wife."  We need not go into what he truly is thinking.

I don't know, maybe i'm being extreme.  Maybe someg girls just aren't
aware of their worth in Christ, though they have in fact encountered
Him.  Well, I want all of you to know

"Christ loves you so much! Don't compromise that.  You're worth more
than thousands of precious jewels in His sight.  Please... don't give
yourself away."

So last night was pretty much AMAZING!
You know why?  Monkey soccer, ladies and gentlemen, monkey soccer, in the rain, full contact.
Last
night a whole bunch of guys in our dorm went to one of the fields at
around midnight, and for two hours we played full contact monkey
soccer, in the cold rain, and it was so FREAKING AWESOME!!!
Basically, you dribble with your hands, and hit people, and slide around in the mud, and have a blast.
Haha, at one point, my RA just out of the blue ( I was nowhere near the ball) just TOOK ME OUT.
I
went flat on the ground, man it was a great hit.  And me, being a guy,
got up and was like "Jessi, that was so awesome!"  and laughed.  Yes,
hitting is.. fun?  It's a guy thing.
One problem: my shoulder is killing me right now.
At
the beginning of the night, I went towards the ball, and as i was, an
athletic black guy on our hall, Marquise, was coming too.  So I lowered
my body and basically tackled him at the knees.   When I did that, he
kind of rolled over on me, and somehow my shoulder got stuck in the
mud, or stretched, or something, but I heard a VERY loud sequence of
pops, kind of like those people you know who can seriously pop their
neck, in my shoulder.
I got up, it hurt, and I had that "my nerves
are tingly numbish, and I know this isn't that good.." I felt to make
sure it wasn't dislocated, it wasn't, otherwise I would have been in
instantaneous agony, so the adrenaline took over, and I went the rest
of the night hitting and being hit, having a blast.
It wasn't until
I took a shower, that the pain started to set in.  At one point last
night, I had A VERY sharp pain in my arm, so that I was like "OWW!" 
Paul can tell you.
and today it's gotten progressively worse.  So
yeah, it kind of sucks, I'll get it checked out, but it WAS SO WORTH
IT!  I hope we play again!
Comments anyone?  On the stupidity of male bravado?  Or just on.. how cool we are!!

It's been forever for me and poetry.  It feels good again...

I want to reach you.
Yet you seem so far away.
I want to reach you,
But my hands are nailed in place.

I want to reach you.
But your words push me aside.
Bound by unbelief,
My sacrifice is tied.
Can I reach you?
Or will you mock my smitten state.
Spit at my hopeless sacrifice.
And curse me to my face.
Can I reach you?
Or will I stay nailed to a tree.
Pierced by your harsh words,
As you constantly deny me.
My life I gave,
With my arms stretched out
And smashed into a cross,
Leaving me broken. Yet without
You I knew I was incomplete,
Lost, without a cause,
And I knew that with every drop, my
blood,
Was worth My loss.
So here I am, paralyzed, in unbelief,
Broken both inside, and out.
Longing to hold you,
But forcibly done without.
Hoping for the healing of a broken
heart,
Though it's thrown in my face,
Begging of you to see my misery,
And remove me from this place.
I've been pinned here too long,
Sealed in agony beyond compare,
Waiting for you to remove me,
And embrace the love I share
For you, and your purpose,
Your empty writhing heart.
If you would just, please, let me reach
you.
We weren't meant to be apart.

Can
I reach you.

Well, fall break was great.. but it's kind of depressing how
pretty much as soon as I got here, things have been going crazy again. 
This past week has been pretty non stop, and right now I'm studying,
hoping to be prepared as much as I can before I go to work tonight and
then study more tonight when I come back. 
Four exams next week.  One shouldn't be that bad, but the other three require a fairly large amount of my time.

Thanksgiving break anyone? haha.