ohmigosh....

my car sucks!!

okay so today after school i gotta go to the bank and get my business done there. so i can get all of that good stuff ready..

later ima go home and change into pants most likely and then go eat at chef whangs with the gang and play dinos later (:

im excited. :D

i need to start planning my budget... that and apply to some other jobs maybe... : i dunno

sam is willing to pay everything for me and i really dont want him to do that.. but its things i really need done (i.e. my car! - its barely running...)

and sam's a computer genius so hes gonna upgrade my computer, etc. and whatever else he wants to do. (:

my new cellphone # is 615-785-3314 if you love me text me :D

so yesterday was valentines day (:

i had fun. (:

sam got me a balloon with wings (sparrows) and it was heart shape and said love on it. (:

i also got chocolates, a dozen of yellow roses (:

and....

a giant puppy dog thats soft and its sitting in my car. (:

we also had reservations to outback for 7:26 and we got there 30 minutes early. but we still sat there until 8:30 and still hadn't been seated. so i got pissed and complained and kinda cussed the hostess out a little bit and so i told sam that we were leaving. so we sat in the car talkin about where we were going to eat. And i was like y'know what? picked up my cellphone and dialed outback's number placed a togo order and pulled up in the drive through and was out of there in 15 minutes. :D

then i texted ben and he hooked us up in the mcdonald's orientation room and it was so sweet because he got us a rose and some candles and chocolates and was our waitor if we needed him and yes we tipped him. it was so sweet i felt so special. :D

it was a great night and i enjoyed it.  (:

i love you sam.

so when every kid (or almost every) when they turn 18 the first impulse is to rebel and go against what their parents like or do like. i.e. tattoos, peircings... cigarettes... and i guess some people porn.

and hey! i want a tatoo or two and i want to get my tongue peirced but i think if i want that i have to find a place to live.. :( yeah my mom called me a whore for wanting one and a whore if you have one, etc. and said i wouldn't be living under her roof with one. so... tat will have to wait a while... (:

so here are some tattoo choices and there will probably more to come until i decide. :D

so i super-duper really like this one. took ideas and made it my own. i like it alot. it would be placed on my right shoulder blade. so yes it would be shown in any dress that shows back. but i like it and thats where i want it. nobody steal please. :D

another one i might consider is this one :)

yep. i changed the tail on this one. i thought it was nice though. (: i like it. :P

well those are my two choices so far. as to the DEFINITE tattoos that i am positively getting. i may have to wait a while until i get my car fixed which will take a couple hundred i don't have to spend on a tatoo :D so

im gonna go soak and lick my wounds (feelings) in the shower... :

my dog was up and about this morning! :D she was sweet. i think she was back to sleep before i left because i didn't see her when i rushed out the door..

sam called me this morning.. made fun of my noises. (: he said i sounded like godzilla's kid or something that i was callin for godzilla. :D that and i can't make the sparrow call. ): he was like prrr-gurglegurgle-prrrr-gurgle-prrr-choke!-coughlaugh. it was great. that and i was almost late.. :(  though, i did discover I can leave 10 til 8 and still make it before the bell. :D

i had a real problem with what i wanted to wear today.. and i have to say that i don't match and i probably look stupid rather than cute.. :

but hey.. (:

So today... (the 5th since it is passed midnight) is my 18th birthday and Superbowl Sunday! I had some good fun. Sam threw me a party and spent alot of money on food for me. It was a really party. About 10 people were there and two gave me cards with money (thanks meggie and b reb :D) and Sam's mom and her boyfriend got me a card. It was really sweet and I really appreciated it..

ive been really upset for the last couple of days and today was just what i needed to be with friends and have a day of relaxtion. ive had a lot of stress and i just need a break. my car has been messing up and my best friend probably wont ever talk to me again and i don't have a phone so that if my car stalls on me i cant get in touch with anyone easily without walking miles... ): and im just scared and worried.. that and my mom cant get me a birthday gift or wont...

but i hope that everything will work out for me. on tuesday, i'm going to set up my own banking account and get what i want without the signature of my mom! :) I filed my income tax return papers etc.. and so in about 4 weeks i will get a nice check in the mail and i'll be able to get my phone if i can. :)

i'm really in love with sam. he is so great to me and he cares for me so much. i know people might think it is too soon for two people to just love each other so much but we have such a connection. i eventually want to move out and if i did and if we are still together which im sure we will, i would like to share one with him. it would be easier for our relationship and we would be able to see each other more. (: i would like that. i love him bunches and we've been together a long time. *** 9 mnths on the 18th!! ***

anyways.. im super tired and im gonna hit the hay sack. sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite. :D

So last night I went to the Oakland vs. Seigel game. It was a good game. Both teams played hard and there was alot of team spirit. But all in all I saw a bunch of my friends there.

I went to the game with my boyfriend (who graduated from Oakland--and particularly didnt want to sit on Oakland's side from bad experiences in the past related to Oakland--) and we went with friends from work who went to Seigel so to us it didn't matter we were going to enjoy the game. Then i get to school and I get caled a traitor. It wasn't very nice... And I had good reason. Sure I had friends on the other side but i personally wanted to be with sam.

I was the only kid over there surrounded by Seigel Nation and wearing an Oakland shirt! and no i didn't cheer for Seigel. Its just stupid that I get called a traitor (when part of the people were just joking with me) and hey! bite me! I can sit on the side I want.

but i didn't appreciate it and i don't think you would either. but it was a good night (:

i got my car fixed so i can now drive once again. :D

anyways... back to art class to work on my design for my new project. Its going to be a collage and my quote is from an Evanesence song.

"In my field of paper flowers,
and candy clouds of lullaby.
I lie inside my self for hours,
and watch my purple sky fly over me."

yes... just let it sink in. :D

so today i get to starve... no lunch money :( im broke. but it is friday and i get a paycheck..

...and ill finish this later... :D appreciate the above art work!

I'm so tired of everyone talking about this stupid fight at school. Josh Purrington got his ass beat. yes, we know!! But if anyone wants to know his condition-- he went home today and is remembering who he is and stuff, etc..

Me and my boyfriend have had this discussion before. 'What discussion?' are you asking? Its the one whether it is right for black people to say the "n" word to each other like its their name or something. I mean 'HELLO!' its a frickin racial-slur and its annoying. I've seriously asked my boyfriend to stop saying it and i will ask people why they say it.

my boyfriend says it is a way to turn the negative to a positive so that they don't focus on the past. but if a fricin white guys wants to go up to some black guy and fit in thinking it my be a friendly term since it is thrown around so much think 'hey i can use it if they are!" well that turns out to be a negative- since you are either beaten to death or get shot. ):

i feel that it should not be used a'tall in any circumstance. it is a derogatory term used in the south back in civil war slave times. It was used as a put down and it is considered profanity.
i dont think anyone should use the word under any circumstances period! And its other forms created to stereotype others like whigger and cracker and others are jsut as bad! Black people need to get over the slave days or i don't know... go back to africa! no offense but its just stupid to use that term and think nothing about it.

but since im white -- i obviously know nothing about the subject. grrr... it makes me so mad when people say it I just want to walk up to them, kick them in the shin and embarrass them in front of everyone....

>:| grr.

on to other subjects :D i have chinese food tonight. it was a good night. my mom is having a rough time, but i will be 18 in eactly 9 days.. how frickin great is that!! then i get a new phone. :P
oh and sam bought me some earrings. They are super cute!

so last night i was out driving with my boyfriend and well we went to Stonetrace McDonald's and filled out applications so we can be re-hired out there at Ariane's store.. well so we were leaving and we were sitting at the red light and i saw flashing lights and i turned around and there is a motorcycle cop.

and i thought well crap... so i pulled over on the shoulder and waited for him to come up to my door. And he asked for my stupid liscense and registration. so i gave them to me and he asked me if i knew why i was stopped and i said i didn't have a clue and he was like "The noise" and i said what?! and he was like your sterio... and i said but sir i don't have bass speakers and my radio wasn't turned up that loud. It was the car next to me. He said okay and did his thing at his little motorcycle.. ):

So i'm sitting there patiently, y'know, calling him all names under the sun... and well he comes back and says "so can you get a parent to come to court with you?" i said well... yeah... sure. he said "okay. well im not going to write a price on here so just go to court the judge usually dismisses them anyways!"

plus while all this is going on.. some dude driving down the road yells to the cop and says "officer - they was a wreck down yonder!!" and the cop starts mumbling that the guy is gonna cause a wreck.. it was just annoying! completely annoying.

so after i had left and gotten back to micky d's i looked closer at my "ticket" and the fricking dork didn't even write down my violation. >:| so in other words hes hoping i have to pay court costs so that he can fill his QUOTA! grr.... ):

but... at least he didn't write me anything that will go on my permanent record or anything. :D

well i've just concluded that cops are pricks.. and i dislike them all. (sorry rachael and amanda b's dads) but hey.. :) i was innocent!

im looking to get my new phone this weekend.. ill keep you posted mon' capitan!! <--which hey, today was hat day and i wore a sailor hat. :D lovely.

so later tonight... a few... seconds before i started this blog i was looking for wanted jobs and i found one at Chuck E. Cheese so I applied online and thought hey thats perfect I already know how to do that kind of job so i should be fine!

no im not quitting McDonald's so soon before i'm a certified manager. I have to get another job.. I need to help with bills that need to be paid off forever!! grr... its bad when the child is trying to fix the parent's bad credit. That and right now my job is not cutting it.. so I need 2...

and that's why he is here!!

on to other things.. school is going particularily well... im helping design the costumes for the play our school is putting on!! Oh, guess what play it is! The Wizard of Oz. How cool man! This could look killer on my rsume and in my portfolio!! SCORE.

:P today im sure everyone either noticed my hickey or pretended they didn't see it. (: I wear them proudly!! like battle paint.... etc. :D

well im off to bed.. work early tomorrow morning and then i go phone shopping. (:

so have you ever had one of those days you just feel like you are the fattest person in the frickin world... well that was pretty much me. ): so im struggling with my "weight problems" which a lot of people say i don't have but im tellin you thats what i think!! grrr.... >:|

i got my dell dj ditty to work again!! :D yes it kinda stopped workin for a lil bit.. it was extremely dead to the world... ): but not anymore! :D

so dinos tonight. i was scorin some major points on that board ;) plus i had some sticky rice nad an egg roll and a half :) it was good stuff. see the guy that we go over to his house to play he is Lao so he always has all this oriental food and it frickin rocks. :D

all you mcdonals folk. i most likely might be transfring to a different one. Because my favorite manager became a stpre manager (she got her own store finally!) so im going to go over there. Even though it is a long way from home.. ill gladly drive that far to work with her an further my manager skills, etc.

i might be lookin for a second job.. i really need the extra money so that i can pay for alot of bills that need to be paid that my mom cant pay.. ): so... yeah.. i wont have any time at all to just hang out with sam or any of my friends... which pretty much sucks.. ): but hey...

i need a lot of things fxed... and paid for. so. :

im about to hit the sack. nice warm comfortable and soft.. (:

good night, sweet dreams, love you (:

hehehe... oakland high school colorguard members!!
remember this? :D

rain.. rain.. and more rain. which really isn't a problem. (:

i skipped school today because frankly... i slept in. not on purpose of course but yeah i slept in. didn't wake up till 930. and then i had breakfast and just stayed home. and it is raining.... :D

in other news my cell phone was cut off...so don't try to call (: but on the good side of that, today i am going to look for cell phones and see what i can afford with a pay as you go plan. (:

that and im going to the bank to get a money order for my yearbook since you know im almost 18 and i have to take on more responsibility than i have been since i was 16.

ive never gotten a money order before. (: first time for everything..

i wish i had one of these sitting in my house. i would grow money on my little tree and never have to worry about anything. (: but i wouldn't go over board with it...

well its time to go. (: see ya lata alligata.

yes.. i got a PhuseBox. maybe i'll write on this one more :D most likely.

ben, i kicked your butt tonight at work-you still hurt my knee. love you too. but...

bri-zheet* (: