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Last Active:February 15, 2009
I've learned a lot in the past year. Things that I didn't necessarily want to learn the way I did but they were things I needed to learn. But, I can't blame the way I learned them on anyone but myself. We all have choices and decisions that we make. Some good and some bad. I've learned that I'm not who I once was. I've come a long way but still have a long way to go. My one problem is that I allow the my past to define who I am. I have found that I truly am my hardest critic. It is so much easier to say that I'm moving on and letting my past be just that my past then to actually walk that out.
I remember very clearly what I chose to do on July 16th last year. I chose to do some things that I have yet to get over. I never want to find myself at that place again. I want this year to be different. I want God to take complete control of me and use me for Him. I want this year to be the point that I totally become all that God wants me to become. I really don't want my past to define me anymore. Pastor Steve was talking about how the battles we face are spiritual battles and how when we have done all that we can just to stand. Reggie Dabbs talked about standing against the "lions" in our lives. Not running from them but chasing them down and killing them. Not being moved. I will not let the choices that I've made to decide what I do from here on out.
"I am a great sinner, but my God is a great Savior." - John Newton
(I like the way they said it at church better.) "I am a great sinner, but my God is a Greater Savior."
I've been reading some very unique books lately. If any of you have read Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights you know what I mean. They make you think it such a....um, unusual way. I really think that the people that wrote them were not right in their head when they did. They have some misconcepts about....well, a lot of things.
I have been reading a book about apologetics. I've realized that I need to know more about things like that. I'm also gonna start reading "The Case for Christ" which seems like it will be really good book. I've already read "Mere Christianity" but didn't like that all that much. I'm starting figure out exactly what I believe and why. I've realized working at Kohl's that the people I'm around will not always agree with what I believe. Which is ok. But, I want to make a mark on their life. I want them to know when they walk away that I'm different. I've always been around people who were "like minded" but now I'm not. It's pushing me to know withut a doubt what I believe kinda like what 1 Peter 3:15-16: "But in your hearts set apart Christ the Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed for their slander." That is my goal.
Revival at DFA has definitely helped that. I'm learning to lean on God more than anything else. Something Pastor Steve said on Sunday night really got me thinking. He said that we need to rend our hearts to open to God. We need to become so desperate for God that we can't live without Him. That's were I totally want to be. And I'm starting to get there. : )
I was going to write a blog yesterday about my Grandmother because it was her birthday and the first year without her on her birthday. But I decided to wait until the 28th to write that blog.
So instead I'm going to write about the Valentine's Day Ball. Here it goes.
Febuary 9, 2008 was a beautiful day. It was clear and a light wind was blowing to make it a crisp day. We got to the Kelley home about 4:15 which was (amazingly) on time for us. Lindsey still wasn't home yet from work so I talked to Grant for a while until he had to get ready for work. Then I played with the little kids which was a lot of fun. Much to Grant's annoyance, we left (late) to meet the Davison's at Home depot. Once we got there we were amptly supplied with coffee and candy. We were soon on our way to the ball in a rather fast fashion. We were soon very close to our destination when we stopped at a near by Shell station to get our hoops on (which is quite interesting). So we actually only got lost once and we weren't lost really. The poor people at the Recreation center probably thought Mrs. Kelley was crazy.
When we got to the right place Grant escorted Lindsey and I into the building were we had to sign in and get our dance cards. Now the purpose of a dance card is to get it filled up with random people to dance with during the night. You aren't suppose to dance with the same guy more than once. I broke that rule. Of course I wasn't comfortable with random guys coming up to me but I soon got over that. I danced with everybody I knew except one guy. But he was a nice fellow so it was ok.
Dancing was quite interesting. I must admit I think I was probably the shortest person there. I'm glad that I went to the Kelley's the night before to learn the dance. There was this one older man who wasn't very nice. I didn't like him.
All and all, it was a very good night. The best dance was the Polka with Mr. Kelley. : )
So, I feel really tired at the moment! I haven't been feeling all that well so it doesn't help not to get enough sleep.
It's seems like it's been forever since I've posted anything on here so I thought I would do an update. Lets see....I was all this past week. I went to some friends house to make a 1861's ball gown. Do you know why? Because for some odd reason I'm going to a Confederate Valentine's day ball. And should I mention that I'm not a confederate? Well, I'm not. But I'm going just for the fun of it. Somehow last Saturday (the 26th) I called some friends to see about sewing a dress for this event and I ended up spending the whole week at their house!!!! I was only suppose to stay until Wednesday but sometimes things don't go as planned. I had a great time though! We did some really random things. But with the Wuest family, you always do random things. Which makes all the more fun. : ) I love that family!!!!!!
I've been thinking a lot about my Grandmother lately. It will be a year on the 28th since she has died. I really miss her right now. I think it's because it's so close to the time that she died that I've been thinking about it so much. I remember going to her funeral. I was fine until that Monday and sitting on the front row of the church with her picture right in front of me. I would have been fine if it wasn't for that. I didn't cry until that day and I haven't cried since. I don't know why but I'm not that emotional. Sometimes I think it would be good if I was one when it comes to things like this. I miss her. I also miss my cousins. Especially Kathleen. Maybe because she is my age. I need to call her. Or maybe she should call me this time. : P