another day of duty w/ a runny nose. i hate being sick. i hate working while i'm sick even more.

nothing new
went to the firing range today. they pulled my M16 and issued me a SAW (squad automatic weapon). i'm not sure why, but i'm not altogether happy about it. more firepower is always a bonus but it's like lugging aroung a sack of bricks. when something happens next i'm sure i'll be glad i got it. qualified sharpshooter at the range if that means anything to anyone reading this. kind of disappointing becuz i've always qualified expert but of course that was w/ a different weapon.
this must be so boring for somebody to read. it's hard not being able to relate to society. i fear any shred of social skills i once had have gone from me completely. now i'm just rambling. after i got back i found out i had 12 hours of guard duty which i just finished so i guess it's normal to ramble some after being up for that long. i'm gonna cut it short here and do us all a favor. i wish all of you the best. i'll wish u double the best if u send me an email. they're few and far between these days.

hmm

it always seems like the people I depend on the most end up letting me down the most. but are they really?
or do i just take more notice of it because they are in fact the ones I depend on the most?

i love fall

i just can't think of anything to say.
i'm achieving the virtue of patience whether i want it or not.

Back in Kuwait...............bummer

i never thought it would be so good to be back in cookeville. turns out i did like it here. came back to an apartment i'd never seen but it's actually pretty nice and not very expensive. it's almost on campus too which is cool. went to alpha omega last night at belle aire. it was pretty cool. may have to hit it up again next wednesday. not looking forward to next thursday. dont' think about it......dont' think about it........

one week into my leave. saw the family and most of my friends so far. keith has disappeared off the face of the earth, and cassie needs to pick up her phone. hanging out w/ gage and cody at greyfriars. i love chattanooga. every time i come here i like it more and more. may just have to stay here for awhile, like a few years. i dread going back more than i've dreaded just about anything in my life. trying not to think about it. mojo burrito is calling my name. gotta go.

I'm so excited, ....i may vomit! well maybe not but i am livid with anticipation.

i'm excited but at the same time i don't think it's really sunken in yet. strange

5 days until i go home!!!
hopefully the sun won't have fried my brain completely by then.
i miss going to church. i've been to church like three times in the past 16 months. army service is a joke. a couple general songs and then catholic communion. not even worth going to. i guess it's really up to me to keep myself right but the encouragement of like believers always helps. the longer i go the more i seem to slip. 3 months or so and i'll be home for good. then i can have all the church i want.
how many things i've taken for granted in my life. my prayer is to not let this happen.

listening to G.Love: The Hustle

life is a strange reality. i'm not sure what to add to that. the more of life i experience the more i realize i couldn't possibly figure it out on my own. i'm glad i have the almighty for a guide.
8 days until i come home!!
the 2 wks is gonna fly by so fast but i'm gonna try not to think about that. i'll worry about it when i get back. fortunately i only have 2 or 3 months to go when i get back. should go by pretty fast.
sometimes i feel like i'm the only one who has any perspective or direction in life and sometimes i feel like everyone but me has perspective and direction in life. unfortunately it's mostly the latter. ever felt like that? i think it tends to change w/ the mood i'm in which prevents me from getting a clear picture of where i'm actually headed. this is a bit much for a friday night. sleep always helps.
keep my granddad in your prayers. he's probably going to have to have a radical surgery in which they actually remove the lung to get the cancer out. doesn't sound like fun. pray for him if you could.

i've written the next paragraph like 5 times and deleted it over and over. i'm not sure what i'm trying to say. forget it. maybe i'll get it out later.

we have these little bag heaters we heat our food in when out on a job. the chemicals reacting w/ the water sounds like the patter of rain on a tin roof. i hope it rains when i'm home. i used to hate rain with a passion, especially when i was working at the depot. we haven't had even a sprinkle since mid-january. i'd love to see some rain right now.

listening to Coldplay: A Rush of Blood to the Head

i am sick as a dog. less than two weeks until i go home and i get sick for the first time since i left. that's just my luck.

finally finished my days of duty at the internet commo center, which just a fancy name for the internete cafe thing. absolutely crazy amounts of people. i feel bad cutting people off after a few minutes since communication w/ their family is minimal. i really lucked out getting in on the internet deal i did. kind of pricy but definitely worth it. the internet lines are insane. the shifts were 12 hours but it flies by since it's so busy. i went on a reading spree in the spare time i had. i read everything i could get my hands on in the room. i finished The Five People You Meet in Heaven, a book i found in a box, an issue of US News cover to cover, also an issue of Time i found, and two week old newspapers. i even read all the papers that people had printed out and left sitting there. I think maybe it was because I thoroughly enjoyed The Five... and I wanted more but there just wasn't anything on hand that would suffice. i'm weird about the way i read books. i'll either sacrifice all the time i have that day to read it entirely through, or i'll read a chapter or so and never pick it up again. i think it's all in whether the beginning captivates me or not. most books have a slower part but the intro needs to be enticing. you gotta sell your product! anyway, enough rambling about books. i hope all of u had a great day. i know schools starting for alot of people right now and i so wish i could join you but that's life. that's all i can think to say. um... take care.

today was a pretty good day for a change. thank God for that. i am exhausted tho. i complain alot compared to some but when the chips aren't down i realize how much i really do love life. maybe not this part of it but the journey is the destination right?

have u ever been tired to the point where nothing bothers u at all? no matter what happens it just all seems hilarious. i've reached that state and quite frankly it works for me. i ended up having to pull another shift right after my last very frustrating day. this propelled me into a state of exhaustion just prior to hallucination. i almost don't wanna go to sleep because this overwhelming state of apathy is the best i have felt in awhile. i'm sure i'll be passed out w/ in 2 minutes tho. i just finished reading The Five People you Meet in Heaven. good book. Mitch Albom's books always capture my interest. he also wrote Tuesday's with Morrie which is a really good book. they read almost like a fiction novel but it's all true. i think that's all for now. my head is getting heavy.

i'm a very easy going person and it's very rare for my temper to reach it's breaking point. but i was so angry today i could've sworn there was blood boiling out of my ears. there's nothing like working your butt off all day in 130+ just to get cussed up and down by a jackass over things that aren't done that he never told u he wanted done. especially while he's been sitting in the ac at the barracks all day. i've never really hated anyone in my life but God help me i hate this man. anyway i look at it i lose simply because of the military's backwards hierarchy. i need to cool down.
pray for me to take the right approach to all this and handle it the way I should.

not much to say. actually i have alot to say i'm just not sure how to express it all right now. maybe i should think this one through some more.
i miss my family and friends like crazy.
that's about it.
listening to Pink Floyd:A Momentary Lapse of Reason

On the Turning Away is by far one of my favorite songs by them, or any band for that matter.
definitely check it out if u haven't heard it.

Long day today, but alot of fun. My company had an MWR day (morale, welfare, and recreation). so basically they force you to spend your free time hanging around all the people that you're tired of working with. they usually stink but today turned out to be great. we went down to the Persian Gulf and did some water survival training w/ our battalions diver team and then we swam in the Gulf for the rest of the day. way too salty, but it felt good to just get a chance to swim after swallowing sand for so llong.


photo from Habas

For lunch i ate a bunch of s'warma which is a local middle eastern dish w/ beef or chicken and a bunch of peppers and spices and stuff.


photo from Habas

very good but so very spicy. love 'em! still can't wait to get back and get me some camino real. now my mouth's watering. and i'm tired. time to hit the sack.