So today is my birthday, and I turned fifteen. I guess it's pretty cool that it snowed on my birthday except it messed things up a little bit. It was fifteen years ago today that I was born...and it was snowing really heavy. I think that's pretty cool. Other than that it just seems like any other day. I don't feel any older. I don't get any presents today. My did get me a brownie cake though which was really tasty. Oh, and Keri and Batey called me and sang Happy Birthday to me which made me happy. I thought everyone had forgot it was birthday today. I remember in sixth grade I did forget it was birthday. I was at Leslie Littleton's birthday party, and I just totally forgot. Sad, I know. Overall, I guess I've had an OK birthday this year. At least I'm here to 'celebrate' it.

 Prayer Requests

My dad

My cousin

My youth group

The guy I wrote about in an earlier thought

All my friends traveling while on Spring Break

Unspoken

That my birthday party works out

 

So right now I'm extremely frustrated. There is not one day that I can have my birthday party where everyone can be there. And even though I know I can't control the weather or other things, I feel like it's my fault. My mom told me that I can't please everyone, but she failed to mention that the birthday girl is not pleased right now. I just wanted one day where all my friends could be there, but that just seems impossible to do. So I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just have my party next week and whoever comes comes. Hopefully things will be fun, but I don't know. :-(

Our youth conference this weekend was so amazing. Probably one of the best ever. During our sermon yesterday, the preacher talked about what has really bothering me the past year. He talked about how so many Christians, me being one of them, are 'empty suits'. We have the appearance of a Chritian, but we aren't living it outside of church.

having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from those people turn away!

2 Timonthy 3:5

 

Last night and well into the early hours of this morning, our room talked about what the sermon meant to us. Two of the guys came to say goodnight and ended up staying in our room until about one in the morning. What started out almost getting us in to trouble, ended up being one of the revivals ever. One of the guys paticular, I really honestly feel like God spoke to him last night, and is going to continue to work on him. We aren't really best friends, but I've known him for a pretty long time. As we were talking about things he's done wrong, he actually began to cry. I felt bad at first because I was practically yelling at him, but now I feel like it made him realize he needs to really surrender his life to the Lord. I just want to ask everyone to pray for him and the rest of my youth group. Last night we found out a lot about some of the people in our youth group, and we really need some help. Just pray that we will all stop being 'empty suits' and really do something. 

 

So something has to be seriously wrong with me. I'm already stressing about next school year. I'm already worried about failing algebra II honors. The only thing is I know as I hadn't taken it that I would have regretted it. I'm still waiting for the regret of taking it. Sometimes I just wish I could be a stupid person and not care about my grades, but then I wouldn't get anywhere life which is definately not good. At this point in time I plan on relearning everything from eighth grade in algebra I this summer to get ready for algebra II, and I'm most likely going to have my head in a book twenty-four seven next year studying. My friends tried to get my to take regular algebra, but my mom really wanted to take honors. She also said the ultimate decision was up to me, but I just didn't want to let her down. Sometimes it feels like its more stressful coming from a dumb family then a long line of super geniuses because I'm the first person to come along that even has a chance of being something important. So if I mess this up, everyone's going to be really dissapointed. Other times though it seems like my parents don't really care how well I do in school. I mean they do, but I guess it feels like they just assume I'm going to make good grades. Which most of the time I usually do, but when I don't do so well I don't know how to tell them. I just wish I could be smart. I mean I know I'm smart, but I mean really smart so I wouldn't have to worry about my grades, but unfortunately I'm not so I have to turn to writing about on here which you guys probably really don't care. So yeah, how has your day been?

Would You Improv for God?

Are you one of the 5 Million + viewers who have checked out the 'Frozen Grand Central Station' You Tube video? If you haven't checked it out- here's the link.

If you have seen it, you probably had some of the same reactions as I did. It's both fascinating and freaky weird as you see 200 improv actors simultaneously freeze in place at one of the busiest places on planet earth. They are 'frozen' in mid-step, picking up papers, and all of them have obviously been trained well to stay as motionless as possible.

I'm sure the stunt brought mixed reviews. You could see that some were annoyed (i.e., those with little to no sense of humor) - and others were probably convinced the aliens had finally landed and commenced with their global body snatching plan (i.e., those with way too much free time).

Would you ever do something like that? I think I might enjoy being part of a harmless public stunt - except of course in Grand Central Station, where I'm pretty sure you'd get your wallet or purse stolen if you froze for even 5 seconds.

It seems to me that most people just go about the daily grind with little outside thought until something creative and radical happens. It also seems to me that this is true in a spiritual sense with your friends who don't know Christ as well. Sure, maybe you've had a few 'talks' about God, but after a while it gets in a rut, and you never seem to get beyond a certain point - right?

Ah - but this video gives me an idea that just might help you in this area. No, freezing in place in a crowded public area is not what I had in mind, but doing something creative and radical for God publicly in front of your friends is one of the best 'rut killers' around. For most people these days, the God talk tends to remain just that...talk...that is until it's backed up with radical action.

And it's not like this is a new plan or anything. It's actually one of the primary strategies that people in the Bible have used for centuries. Here's a short list:

Noah - built a gihugical boat. How is that radical? Well, since it had probably never rained or flooded before, the entire population of the world thought Noah was one French fry short of a Happy Meal. But aren't you glad he went ahead with his public project? Yep, he saved civilization.

Joseph - dared to tell the Pharaoh of Egypt that he could interpret dreams. If he blew it, he'd be toast inside a few seconds. But he went ahead with the triple dog dare, and - oh yes, saved civilization.

Daniel - threw open the shutters of his home and prayed to the God that was despised by the all his neighbors - even though it could bring him the death penalty. And it did. Only instead of death, he gained some new furry friends in the lion's den.

I could go on and on - but do you know who completed the most radical and life changing public act of all time? You guessed it - God Himself. He was so desperate and crazy in love with the people of planet earth that He came down here wrapped in flesh. He lived a perfect public (and private) life, led a miraculous public ministry (can you say feeding 5000 folks from 5 loaves of bread and two sardines?), and of course, He died one of the most cruel - and public- deaths that you could ever imagine. Oh yeah, then He came back from the grave and appeared in public to over 500 people in 40 days.

Talk about a radical and creative way to get people's attention for God!

And it worked. Now it's your turn. Auction off your iPod to give money to the poor, skip a movie and volunteer at a homeless shelter. Start a public blog that does nothing but investigate the claims of Jesus. Pass out pro-life flyers near an abortion clinic. Use your imagination - but keep it completely motivated by this message:

For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

Freezing in Grand Central Station is cool - but even cooler would be to do something that caught the attention of people around you and turned it - not to You Tube...but to the God who wants an eternal relationship with them.

Head: What you need to know about this truth

People who don't have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ need to see radical and creative evidence of vital and authentic Christianity.

Heart: What you need to feel about this truth

Simple question: If you were put on trial for being a Christian, would there be enough physical evidence to convict you? If not - perhaps it's time for a heart check and a lifestyle shift.

Hands: What you need to do about this truth

Write down a few ideas you have about radical and creative ways to show the world that you are a Christian, then get together with your youth leader and youth group to discuss how you could put those ideas into action.

 

© 2008 Dare 2 Share Ministries

Take this quiz and find out how girly you are. (GUYS TOO) Put x's beside each thing that's true. Each x that you put is one percent. Have fun!! erase x's from other people when you are filling it out


[x] my fingernails/toenails are almost always painted
[x] during the summer the only shoes i wear are flip flops
[x] my favorite toys as a child were barbies, Bratz, etc.
[x] my favorite color is pink or purple
[x] I did Gymnastics
[x] I love skirts
[x] Hollister and/or American Eagle are my favorite places to shop
[] tight jeans are the only jeans i will wear
[] I own Victoria's Secret PINK pants
[x] i did ballet as a little girl
Total: 8


[x] my hair is almost always straightened
[] I own a purse from Coach or Prada
[x] I love to hang out at the mall with friends
[] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace or earrings
[x] In the summer i have to have a tan
[x] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes
[] I love reality shows
[x] Bobby pins are my best friend
[] I wear a shower cap
TOTAL: 13


[x] I don't shop at Hot Topic
[X] my cell phone or ipod might as well become a part of me
[] I wear mascara everyday
[x] bathing suits are adorable
[] I don't know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
[x] big sunglasses are hott
[] I have gotten my nails done before
[x] I own over 10 purses
[] MTV is one of my favorite channels
TOTAL: 18


[x] all I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys
[x] I love people doing my hair
[] I give and receive hugs from all my friends
[x] I hate bugs, especially spiders
[] carnivals are so fun
[x] Summer is THE greatest thing ever
[x] my swimsuit has 2 pieces
[x] Im waiting for my knight in shining armor
[] musicians are so hot
TOTAL: 24

[x] i am self-conscious
[x] I cry often
[x] i pick out shampoo and conditioner strictly based on smell
[] I don't like sports
[] I HATE to run
[x] I squeal when i am surprised or angry
[x] i eat fruit as a snack
[x]I love romance novels
[] Drew Barrymore is so cute
TOTAL: 30


[x] I dance a lot.
[x] I only have 5 billion hair products
[x] I love to get dressed up.
[x] every part of my outfit needs to match
[x] I talk on the phone at least once a day
[x] I would love to have a photo shoot
[] I apply lip stuff 50 times a day
[x] I wish I looked like a model
TOTAL: 37


[] I wish I could meet Paris Hilton
[x] I wanted a bra way before i ever needed one
[] i own Birkenstock's
[X] i love music
[] I pop my colla(r)
[x] I like to be the center of attention
[x] guys with mohawks are weird
[x] u gotta love rainbows
[x] I'd rather not pay attention in school
[x] KITTIES are adorable
TOTAL: 44

[] I write my own music
[x] I'd love to visit Hawaii
[x] Valentine's day is cute
[x] I would not be caught in all black
[] My closet is STOCK FULL of clothes
[x] I like to read magazines
TOTAL: 48

[X] I love to talk
[x] I had Lisa Frank folders/posters/notebooks as a kid
[] I love Celine Dion
[x] I have or still do plan ahead for my wedding
[] My friends and I are in a strict group.
[x] I like little kids
[] soda rules
[x] I am or at one point was a vegetarian
[x] love chocolate!
TOTAL: 54

[X] check my myspace/email everyday.
[x] I love life
[] i have a lot of jewelry
[x] I have to shop
[] i show my legs almost every day
[x] I have a friend named maddie (I had, when I was little)
[x] i would never want to be the other sex
[x] Its not what they said it's the way they said it
[] I have more than 3 pillows on my bed
TOTAL: 60

1. Was your last kiss a mistake?
i've never kissed anyone, and i hope that when i do it will never be a mistake

2. When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
the other night, but it wasn't for a usual reason, it was actually for a more happy reason

3. If the world was to end tomorrow, what would you be doing right now?
i have no idea

4. What was the last thing you heard?
something on american idol

5. What is bothering you right now?
loneliness

6. Do you think slavery was wrong?
YES!

7. Have you ever seen somebody get shot?
no, and i hope i never do

8. When was the last time you got into a physical fight?
i've never been in a real fight

9. Who do you tell everything to?
no one, but I know God already knows everything, but just saying things out loud makes it seem real and worse

10. Have you ever taken a picture in a bathroom?
yeah

11. Do you use big words?
yeah, but i sometimes others think they are big words when i don't think they are

12. Have you ever been called a 'slut' or 'manwhore'?
yeah, sadly

13. Where are you?
my bedroom

14. Does your head hurt?
a little actually

15. Favorite number?
31

16. Have you ever rented out a hotel room?
with my family and youth leaders

17. Have you ever injected a drug?
no, i think that's absolutely stupid to do something like that

18. When was the last time you saw your Father?
a few mintues ago

19. Name a lyric from the song you're listening to?
not listening to a song right now

20. Do you use your friends?
no, that's just cruel

22. Do you fight with your parents often?
my dad

23. Where is the shirt you're wearing from?
goalpost

25. Have you ever been in a car accident?
no, and i really hope i never am

26. Do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace?
usually i just end up going home with somebody and call my mom to pick me up sometime

27. The thing that was bothering you before, is it still bothering you?
yeah, i'm still pretty lonely right now

28. How often do you shower?
every day, which i hope most people do, unless they can't or something like that, then i feel bad for those people

29. Do you know anyone with cancer?
my uncle had cancer a while back

30. Do you have any picture frames in your room?
a lot of cheerleading pictures 

31. Where did you spend Christmas?
my house and my and aunt's house and my grandparents

32. Ever smoked a cigarette?
absolutely no, i think they are horribly gross

33. Do you think the whole day is better if you smoke pot?
refer to previous question

34. Has anyone ever saved your life?
Jesus

36. Do you get good grades?
i usually make straight a's but i've made a couple of b's

37. Have you ever been intoxicated twice in one week?
no, alcohol should be banned

38. Do you know a secret about anybody?
yeah, but of course i can't tell you

39. Who cooks dinner in your home?
my dad or mom or sometimes me or my sister

40. Did you ever go to a special learning center?
no

41. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
no, i really don't like piercings

 

42. Does a kiss make you feel better?
i don't know, because i've never had one

43.Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
no

44. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
before, but it would probably be smarter to do it after since i get lots of water on the floor

45. What did you do today?
wake up and go to school and take some test and laugh a lot in first block (i love my first block) then eat and go home and then read and watch tv

46. Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
actually yeah, but i was really rushed so i was multi tasking

47. Have you ever thought about your death?
yeah

49. Have you ever had stitches?
nope

50. How long ago did you hug someone?
i hugged my mom earlier tonight

51. Do you like the Red Sox or Yankees?
i don't really have preference

52. What are you doing this weekend?
a meeting for people to people. fun.

53. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?
yeah

Spiritual 'Rehab'

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no.'
Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know, know, know.
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fin,e
He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go, go, go.

Has anybody ever tried to make you do something that you didn't want to do? It's definitely not fun - and it's definitely the way Amy Winehouse was feeling a while back when she was riding a huge wave of success in her professional life, but crashing and burning in her personal life. And, as with most people, she had friends and family who truly care for and love her. When you see a good friend or relative in a downward spiral, you tend to get very concerned, which is why Amy's circle of friends advised her to check into a rehabilitation center.

Obviously things have changed since she penned those words, because as I write these words, Amy is in rehab - and evidently making great progress at beating the drug and alcohol temptations that threaten to take her down. Here's what her brother said:

Detox was tough, but she did it. She was as bright and vivacious as she had been before her demons took over. It (the night of the Grammys) was without a doubt the greatest night our family has enjoyed in a long, long time.

In my opinion, we all need a rehab of sorts. Of course, just like Amy - we don't want anyone to make us go. But when the people who love us give us straight up talk about the deadly and destructive paths we oftentimes walk down, it's time to listen.

That's what Amy Winehouse did.

That's what we need to do.

So perhaps you're reading this, and you're thinking "Dude - I don't smoke crack cocaine and get drunk all the time. In fact, I don't do any of that stuff - so why would I need rehab?"

Great point - and I agree, if that's you - you don't need a chemical detox - probably most of us don't. But... we ALL have another kind of poison coursing through our spiritual veins - and unfortunately, we are all addicted to this deadly venom.

It's called sin. It comes in all kinds of forms, but here's a list that might help you identify your particular toxins:

Sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these (Galatians 5:19-21).

These are things that need to be taken as seriously as a drug or alcohol addiction, because left unchecked, they *will* kill you. Maybe not physical death, but for sure they will poison your life to the point where you are trapped in an emotional and spiritual death state that sucks out any hope of finding joy and meaning in life. They all stem from what the Bible calls 'the flesh' - which is really the source of all our problems.

So what's 'rehab' for the flesh? Here's God's advice:

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit's leading in every part of our lives (Galatians 5:24-25).

Rehab for our sinful flesh isn't a place, it's a Person. If you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit lives inside you. The power of God is at your disposal 24/7 to "crucify" the poisons and addictions that can and will destroy your life. Seek His help the next time you get the peer pressure to go to the wrong party, or feel the destructive feelings and temptations rising up inside you.

Nope, nobody can 'make you' check into spiritual rehab, but the Person who loves you most - Jesus Christ - pleads with you at this very moment to ask His help in defeating your poisonous flesh. Go to Him right now in prayer and begin the process of spiritual detox. Like Amy, I promise you will find the happiness you probably haven't enjoyed in a long, long time.

Head: What you need to know about this truth

Through the power of Jesus Christ, we can defeat the deadly power of sin and conquer the addictions that threaten to destroy our lives.

Heart: What you need to feel about this truth

It's easy for most to look at Amy Winehouse and feel strongly about her need for rehab - but how often do we take the same attitude with ourselves? Here's a critical verse from the Bible to reflect on this week:

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death. (Proverbs 14:12)

Hands: What you need to do about this truth

Take some time this week and list out the sin 'addictions' that seem to cause you the most trouble. Is it lust? Pride? Anger? These are not 'personality problems' or simple mistakes - these are destructive poisons that will eventually ruin the amazing life God has planned for you.

 

© 2008 Dare 2 Share Ministries

I just found out from Batey and my mom that we don't have to go to school until Tuesday until of NEXT WEEK! Just thought I would let all you guys know. Now I don't have to see everyone get presents from everyone tomorrow when I don't have anyone to get anything from. Sad, but I'm still really happy. So yeah, I'll talk to you cool kids later.

1. How many people have you held hands with within the past month?

none, unless my sis counts
 2. What's your middle name?
lynn, and i hate it

4. Will you have a valentine this year?
not unless my friends count

5. Is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated?
some people

6. Do you have unlimited texting?
yeah, but it's totally pointless since like a whole four of my friend can text

7. Wheres your girlfriend/boyfriend at?
well since i don't have one, i can't answer that now can i

8. Are you on a desktop or laptop?
desktop

9. Do you have fast reflexes?
sometimes

10. Can you make yourself cry?
yeah, when i want my mom to buy me something or let me go somewhere, etc.

11. What are you planning to do today?:
eat and sleep

12. Do you have a crush on someone?
not really

13. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
i used to say i would a lot, but the only reason i would now is to relieve the good times

14. What are your favorite colors?:
orange and purple

15. Have you ever had your nails done?
yeah, and i didn't really like it

16. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing right now?
i don't know

17. Have you ever kissed someone who's named starts with an M?
no

18. Have you ever passed out?
kinda

20. Are you easily confused?:
very

21. Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?:
of course

22. What's your favorite kind of ice cream?
phish food

23. Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
not really

24. Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
yeah

25. What color are your socks?
i don't have socks on right now

26. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it?
lots of times

27. Do you fall for people easily?
yeah, and i wish i didn't

28. Everything happens for a reason?
i try to remember that

29. Have you ever dated someone more than once?
no since i've never dated anyone

30. Who have you texted in the last 24 hours?
keri, sydnee, my mom, and my cousin, oh and some random person that knew my name (freaky)

32. In your last relationship did you break up or were you broken up with?

no since i’ve never had a relationship

33. When is the last time you talked to number 1 on your top friends?
don’t have a top friends list

34. What are you listening to right now?:
the news

35. What does your last incoming text say?
something like i didn’t notice they were flirting

36. What qualities do you like about the person you like?

i really don’t really like anyone right now, but if i did i would like them to be easy to talk to and like me for who i am

 

37. Is there something you wish you could tell someone but can't?
yeah i guess

38. What is your biggest turn off?
rude and really bad grammar

40. Who was the last person to stay in your bed?
my sister

41. Do you prefer being single or taken?
don’t really know

42. Do you love anyone?
yes!

43. Last person of the opposite sex you said I love you to?

my dad

44. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?:
i’ve never kissed anyone so can’t really answer that

45. What is it you truly want right now?

i want things to be like old times and i want my friends back

 

What I Wish Heath Ledger Would have Known

No, this isn't a 'let's exploit any and all things Heath Ledger' article. I really liked Mr. Ledger, and I'm incredibly saddened for his loved ones - and especially his two year old daughter. He was a very talented individual with an extremely promising future.

Yet despite all these facts, there is a cultural fascination and frenzy to find out what reeeeeallly happened - even if it means complete and absolute disrespect for his family and friends. There are leaked videos and speculative allegations about substance abuse and addictions. It seems as though everyone wants to get to the bottom of this apparent mystery.

Is it really such a mystery? It is truly headline and blogosphere news that despite apparently having it 'all', that 'all' is really quite nothing? And even further, are we shocked and awed that people in pain often turn to the way wrong places to temporarily soothe the seething ache and oftentimes agony of this thing called life?

Well, not to me. Not because I'm some super-genius-I-know-everything-about–life person, but because I believe the Person who wrote these facts down in black and white in the world's #1 best seller of all time. These aren't theories or debatable concepts, because what you are about to read are the simple truths from the Author of truth. They are the warning lights on the dashboard of existence...they are the warning labels on the bottle of reality. Read carefully, and you might find the real secret to a meaningful life:

The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? (Jeremiah 17:9)

"Beware! Don't be greedy for what you don't have. Real life is not measured by how much we own." (Luke 12:15)

"Everything is meaningless," says the Teacher, "completely meaningless!"

Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content. (Ecclesiastes 1:2,8)

Don't be misled-you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. (Galatians 6:7-8)

The Bible paints a not-so-subtle picture of life in real and raw terms. The true portrait of existence reveals the wickedness of human nature, the meaninglessness and emptiness of our day to day struggles, and the inevitable consequences when we choose the wrong path. This is what oftentimes drives even the best and the brightest to depression, drugs, and even death. The wicked heart tells the hopeless soul that life will always be meaningless, so why not just live to satisfy our sinful nature?

But there is another way. A way that I wish for Britney and Lindsay and Barry and Owen and Heath and millions of others who feel trapped in a speeding train headed down a dark tunnel.

This way is not a way, it is the only way. Jesus said it Himself:

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)

(Jesus asked) - Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30)

Only Jesus can reveal our wicked and deceptive hearts, give true meaning to life, and keep us off a destructive path. He died to set us free, but to get out of the prison of life we have to look out of our dark pit to see His face, then lift our hands of faith to Him so he can rescue us.

Regrettably, it is too late for many people to find these truths, but if you're reading this it is obviously not too late for you. Take your pain to Christ, put your trust in Him alone for salvation - and you'll find the life you were meant to live!

Head: What you need to know about this truth

God's word promises that the human heart is wicked and deceitful, that life is meaningless without Christ, and that we will reap the consequences of our evil actions. However, through a relationship with Jesus, we can be set free from all these conditions.

Heart: What you need to feel about this truth

Feel incredible joy that the prison door of life has been opened and you can be set free to live the life God intended.

Hands: What you need to do about this truth

People do not end up in a depressive state overnight. They are deceived and discouraged time and time again until they turn the wrong direction. Take some time this week to look where you might be allowing deceit in your life, and take some radical steps to run the other way. Examples of deadly deception might be:

Pornography is harmless.
I can quit anytime.
Pre-marital sex is OK if you're in love.
I just have an addictive personality.
Hatred towards people is OK sometimes.
I don't listen to the words.

 

© 2008 Dare 2 Share Ministries

I'm so excited. So I got the orange enV tonigth, and it's so pretty. It's a whole lot better than my old phone, and if you have seen my old phone you know what I'm talking about. I like it because it's so much easier to text on because of the full key-pad. It also takes better pictures than my old phone which I'm happy about. It's just better all around. So I guess my rants over. Oh yeah, my number changed, so if you had my old number just message me and I'll give you my new one. Talk to your crazy people later. ;-)

I went to my first meeting for People to People today. It was three hours long and I was extremely hungry, so I thought it was never going to end. I had Keri by my side, and I met some potentially cool people, so it wasn't all that bad. I'm even more excited about going to Europe than I was. There is a total of 46 people going. 46! That's a whole lot of people. Keri and I thought we were going to be the only freshman, but we are the only two people from Dickson. Yay, go us! My mom told me that I couldn't spend my whole time talking to Keri though because I need to make new friends. But I can do both at once. There are some really tall people in our group. I felt really short. Everyone seems pretty nice so far, so that's good. So my day was pretty good, how about all of your's?

The past week months I've really realized how much dance is important to me. I mean, I've always known I loved it, but it's the one thing that I could be good at. Some people are great at singing. Others writing, drawing, acting...me dancing. My only down fall is that where I take dance I feel like I'm being held back in the class I'm in. It seems like a lot of the people in the class really don't care. Sure they like hip-hopping, I'll give them that. But I just feel that if that's all you want out of a dance education, then you should just go dance around in the streets. If you take dance classes full time- especially if you participate on a dance TEAM, you should give a darn and at least have an iota of talent. I know that sounds harsh, but you honestly haven't seen some of the people in my dance class. Even though it's totally cliche-ish, dance really does let me express my feelings. It's one of the very few times I can just be myself and not care what others think - well to an extent. Even when I feel totally crappy, I take five minutes to dance, and I can't help but have a huge grin on my face. But back to the whole point of this. I just don't feel like I've learned a whole lot the past three years I've been dancing. I guess I have learned that I can't be shy and that I have to go full-out all the time, but I want to learn technique - lyrical, jazz, ballet, open, contempary. I love hip-hop, but I can't spend my whole dance career shaking by butt. And honestly, I really don't have the money to go to a fancy dance school. So basically my dilemma is that I just want to learn more. Broaden my range of skill. I'm not getting that, and I WANT IT so much.I just don't know how to get it. I really believe I do have tons of potential, and I'm not just trying to sound conceited. I've had to teach myself most of the little technique that I do have by watching dance movies and others dance. So yeah, if you have read all of this, thanks for listening to my rant on dance. Maybe someone will hear me and help me get my dream.

This is a Valentine's truth survey. So dont lie:

1.Do you like anyone?
i guess

2. Are you a flirt?
occasionaly around certain others

3. Are you a player?
no. that's mean.

4. Would you get back together with any of your exes?
i don't know because i've never had anybody to be an ex

5. Have you ever kissed anyone on your top friends?
i've never kissed anyone, nor do i have a top friend list, so i can't really answer that Q.

6. Do you want a valentine?

of course, who doesn't.

7. Have you slept over at the opposite sex's house?
yes.

8. Do you prefer group dates or single ones?
i don't really know, since i've never been on either

10.Small kisses or makeout sessions?
well, i wouldn't really know, now would i, but i would definitely say not makeout sessions because that could lead to not good things.

11. Do you like watching movies?
heck yeah!

12. Any plans for valentines day?
sadly no. probably a present or two from my parents. woo-hoo. some chocolate and flowers maybe. a real party for one!

13.What's the best valentines day present for a girl?
anything that is sweet and that will make them feel special.

14. For a guy?
i'm not a guy, so i don't know. do they even really like gifts?

15. Are you single or taken?
single, sadly...

Have you ever been really happy, but then feel hollow inside at the same time. Like one second you are trying so hard to be happy, and for a little while it works. But then you remember what's been nagging at you all day, and you can't help but break down. For the past couple of days that's how my life has went. All day today, I was on the verge of tears, and then when I got home I couldn't take it anymore. I just completely broke down, and I don't really know why. I guess it's just a mixture of things. It's been building up the past couple of days and I just couldn't let it go anymore. I'm like a robot walking to classes and doing homework and tests. Putting on a happy face, just trying to get through the day. It seems like no one's paying any attention to me. Even though there's lots of people were I sit during lunch, I feel lonlier than ever. I changed table so I could get to sit with both of my two best friends, and now I don't even get to talk to either of them really. That's really my fault though. Hardly of the people talk to me. I guess it's mostly my falt though because I don't say much. I just kind of sit there. But if I do try to talk, I can feel the tears coming on. The only way I can keep from crying is to go into my box and cover myself. I just can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. By the time I got home I just wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep for a month. Maybe then things would be better, and I wouldn't have to constantly tell myself I can make it through the day. Then just to go home and cry myself to sleep. Mostly right now, I just need some prayers. Hoping things will get better. Hopefully......

I just wanted to say that if it rains in the middle of the night and washed all the snow away, I'm going to be very, very upset. It's already up to almost two inches at my house. And the roads are completely covered. We don't get much traffic because I live really far out, so if doesn't rain then we will have the most snow in like five or six years. It's even still snowing pretty hard here. That's probably one of the only things I like about living in the middle of nowhere and having lots of creeks near your house. It's always colder so we get a lot more snow than the people who live in Dickson. Which is good for me. ;-) 

How much do you really know about me? Whether you are my good friend are not, how much have you picked up about me from my thoughts? My best friends probably know a lot of these things (or should).

 

1. I am terribly afraid of the dark. And even though I can't sleep very well with noise and light, and can't sleep at all without it. I can sleep pretty much anywhere but my own house without light. I actually can't sleep anywhere else with light. I still take a running jump onto my bed because I'm always afraid something is in the hallway or underneath my bed.

 

2. The exception for the above is that movies put my right to sleep. I don't really know why, but that's just how it is.

 

3. I love to read. I love love love love it and books.

 

4. My favorite food is chicken. Any kind. Baked, fried, parmesean, soup, strips, nuggets. You name it, and I probably love it. My favorite fruit though is watermelon. I've even eaten a whole watermelon by myself. I didn't feel to well though.

 

5. I cheered for six years, and I tried out both years for the middle school, but sadly didn't make it. I didn't cheer because my made me. I absolutely love it, but I'm hesitant about trying out for school this year because I'm more into competitive cheerleading, and you just don't get that at our school. I wish they did compete.

 

6. I love being in, taking, and looking at pictures. Photography is my thing.

 

7. In third grade, my house blew up from a gas explosion. Ironically, at the time, I wasn't worried about my house. I was worried about all my pageant and cheerleading trophies. Shady, I know.

 

8. When I was little I was the pageant queen of the family. I have tons of trophies from pageants. (I also have lots of cheerleading and random ones.) I actually have two trophies almost as tall as me.

 

9. My blonde/gray/white streak is natural. If you know me well, then you know I don't like it to be mentioned very often. The color actually goes onto the side of my forehead.

 

10. Of course, if you are my friend you should know my birthday - March 8th.

 

11. Even though it's dorky, I love Disney Channel.

 

12. I'm really not as shy as people think. Most of the time, if I don't talk I'm either embarresed, don't like you, or am very mad.

 

13. When I'm mad or sad or embarresed, I look down and cross my arms. If I have my necklace on, I play with it.

 

14. Sadly, I've never had a boyfriend, but right now that really doesn't bother me.

 

15. I love stuffed animals, and I have tons of them in my room.

 

16. My hair is NOT naturally straight or soft. It gets that way from an hour of straightening every day. Sometimes, it's still not straight enough to wear down. That's why my hair is usually in a pony tail. My hair is actually really wavy when it dries.

 

17. I love traveling, and I plan to travel my whole life. I've been to about the same amount of countries outside of ours as I've been to states.

 

18. I wear my heart on my sleave and take everything literally and personally.

 

19. I hate anything with a gritty or squishy texture. I get sick to my stomach by just having ketchup on my hand and having to wipe it off.

 

20. I didn't learn how to swim until I was about nine.

 

21. Even though I don't think I'm very pretty at time, I'm obsessed with mirrors. I can't walk past a mirror without looking into it.

 

22. I'm extremely self-concious about my hands and nose.

 

23. Even if really good at something or I know the answer to a question I won't say I am or do because I don't want people to think I'm a know-it-all. I couldn't stand people saying I was smart or talented in elementary school.

 

24. Although I act like I'm embarresed when teachers pick on me, I really love the attention. I often change how I act to fit into the mold that people think I am.

 

How many things did you know about me? Did you know any of them? What are some things you think your best friends should know about you? You may be surprised to know just how many facts people don't know about you.

 

 

So I went to go see The Bucket List today with Keri, and it was really good. It was kind of sad though because Morgan Freeman's character dies from cancer. But overall the movie was really good with lots of happy, sad, and funny parts. You should really go see it because it will make you want to live every day of your life to the fullest.

So today was a half-and-half day back to school. Two of my classes are really good, and the other two aren't bad, but I don't really have a lot of friends in them. One class only has 18 people, and there's like only freaky people and popular people. Then me. So all the popular people sat in this circle around me, so I just kind of sat there not talking while they had their little conversations. And one of my classes has a lot of my friends in it, but I don't get to sit near them. I really hate alphabetically order seating. Unless of course you have a friends near your name, then it's cool. But otherwise it's not very fun. I know the people I'm sitting by, and they're nice and all, but we just don't have much in common. I wish we could just sit were ever we wanted to. I also thought lunch was going to be fun, because I had a lot of my friends in there, and I thought we could all sit toether like last year, but they obviously don't like me anymore because I'm a loser. So I guess I'll just sit in the front of the cafeteria with my three friends and eat lunch with a bunch of weird people. (A lot of weird people sit in the front dining room.) But oh well, I guess today wasn't all that bad. My classes are pretty easy this time, so maybe I'll actually get to read this semester. Well, I read a lot last semester, but then I never had my homework done. So yeah. How was all you kids day today?

 

Oh and P.S.: I get my braces off in two months - right at my birthday. Which I'm so excited about both. Well if I get my braces off and if people come to my birthday party. Which people seem not like me anymore, so I don't know how many people will be at my birthday party this year. But yeah, I'm still excited because I'm turning fifteen. Yay! I get my permit! Although I'm thinking if nobody wants to come celebrate my day with me, then I'll just pamper myself by going to the spa that's five minutes from my house. So I'm finally done, and if you have read all this, good for you! ;-)