Listen to me, even if you hate or love me, if you have become disappointed or excited about what I have to say. Listen to me, not because of my wisdom, not because of my understanding of all life matters, but because I have thought about these things. Most people listen to people all the time who have no thoughts about what they're saying. If you have the time to listen to such vacuous thoughts, why would you refuse to listen to the worthwhile? Alas, such are the times.

Listen to me: you can't save yourself. Your purpose is not a job. It's not education. It's not the "Sunday School" answers you've been fed thus far. America has lied to you. That attractive person you saw doesn't matter. That party you wanted to attend doesn't matter. Don't bother losing yourself because you haven't tried probably and you probably don't understand what it means. All you alternative kids, you're just as vapid as the preppy kids, so can it.

No matter how hard you try, you can't save yourself. You're not immortal in yourself. Every dime you spend on stuff here will eventually be worthless. But you can save others. Yes, you can save others. Every person in middle class America is concerned with the struggle, but there isn't one. Every Christian is concerned with God's will, but if you were really concerned about God's will, you'd help the people who really needed help. You would witness. You would care for the sick and the needy, and quite frankly, very few of you have scratched the surface of what that means. Neither have I.

I'm the greatest hypocrite among you. Why? I've had everything handed to me from birth with very little bad experience and still managed to totally screw things up. But God, in His infinite wisdom, had a plan. You see, every bad thing you've been through had a purpose. You ask God why, but the answer is a clear as day. You cry at your church that your friends are going to hell, but you haven't done one thing to lift an ounce of suffering from the collective dying. You whine and complain to God that your relationships aren't good enough, that that guy/girl you dated dumped you and that was unfair. WELL, get over it. Yeah, that's right: get over it. I'm mean because I can be. I'm controversial because I have to be to get your attention, and I'm getting your attention because the church is dying. Screw this well my church is gaining more members crap! It's just shifting from church to church because your parents (or you) can't deal with the fact that there are people in the world who get fired for being stupid. The church is dead, and it's been that way for a while.

Wake up. Who is hungry? Who is needy? Wake up, Chris Harrelson. Wake yourself up. You've been sleeping for a long time. Think twice the next time you buy that cd, or that dvd, or that pair of shoes. Think, "Where else could I spend this money?" Think, "Who really needs this?" To whom could you give your time? For whom could you clean? Who could you save?

Save others...because you can not save yourself...

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"Unfortunately High, Ironically Dissatisfied"

September 01, 2007

So far, my schedule's had classes added twice, and I seemed to have done pretty well. Unfortunately, I get this great feeling of being overwhelmed even when I'm not so that I'm stressed out over what is, essentially, unknown and, probably, not as difficult as I think will be. It's learning to balance such ideas as contentment and caution with where I am that's proven so tedious a task after what I've been through the past three years.

But God is so good, and, at moments like the Ramp on Thursday, He reminds me that I'm not alone, that He's gone before me, and that He knows of what I need even before I ask. It's these times that the quiet times are more precious than anything else.

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Lee's Great, But...

August 27, 2007

For the three people who'll actually read this post, the one that comments will probably say something to the effect of "Suck it up, and introduce yourself." However, I'm not necessarily asking for advice, or a critique, but rather for somewhere to be heard. Blogging is probably one of the dumber things for people to do. Most of the time, people gripe about their own problems day and day out, and after dealing with depression, I decided to stay away as much as possible from that kind of thinking/posting.

I just feel that none of the relationships I have have any intimacy--that is, not the physical kind--to the extent I keep looking for relationships to fill the gaps of ones gone by, especially at Lee. But with my scars from depression, I feel I've gained an even more unsightly and ungainly characteristic of added self-consciousness combined with a lack of confidence. Introductions are awkward, and even if they aren't, they're usually followed by my brand of humor in the attempt to entertain someone into liking me. People have noticed the entertainer being successful, but where are those people who've been entertained? I feel lonely most of the time, like I just keep giving and giving without any hope of return, unrequited love for the masses as it were. You might criticize me for my lack of action, but I have tried. I am trying to break in. I just need a way to stay there.

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