In A Relationship
January 15 2006
Is Love Stronger Than Hatred?
â€œThe value of love will always be stronger than the value of hate. Any nation or group of nations which employs hatred eventually is torn to pieces by hatred...â€ Franklin D. Roosevelt
The world around us holds an unseen battle between love and hate, good and evil, right and wrong. Yet we are one in the same. â€œLoving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.â€ Wayne Dyer
Hamlet is the ideal unanswered question of true hate and undying love. Is Hamlet truly mad with hate or is he sane and understanding of everything he does. Is he working through the love of his father to get revenge on his uncle, the new king, or is he working off his own personal anger towards his â€œUncle Dad?â€
In Shakespeareâ€™s famous play Hamlet, Hamlet is completely torn apart by his mothers new marriage to his uncle so soon after his fathers death. I believe Hamletâ€™s love for his father is much greater than any hatred he could ever express towards his uncle. Although he is very angry with his mother, he does not hate her but pities her for her ignorance in his fathers murder.
Hamlet loved his father so much; he honored the very ghost of him. He vowed to take revenge for his fatherâ€™s murder. For Hamlet, hatred truly came when he realized his uncle had unbelievably killed his own brother and married his wife for the throne. His trust and faith in his father was so great that he risked his reputation, his sanity and his entire existence in order to make things right so his fathers ghost could â€œmove on.â€ Hamlet was willing to sacrifice his entire being for his father, which included the love of his life. His actions of insanity, and the irreversible murder of Opheliaâ€™s own father, drove even her to the point of which she questioned her own sanity and in turn went mad.
While Hamlet was away in England with friends who attempt to murder him, Ophelia, having lost her mind, kills herself. When Hamlet returns to find he has lost his one true love forever, he is heart broken. Hamlet remains calm and reasonable and continues to pretend he has in fact lost his mind, which so far has been believable to everyone. Though Hamlets death was dubbed a tragedy, it was all for love. Only the love and compassion he held for his father could have allowed him to create such a well thought out and convincing plan.
If Hamlet had turned straight to hatred and revenge, instead of love and legitimacy, he would have died a painful death on his first attempt to murder is uncle. Hamlet died for a cause. He died for what he believed in. He died for love.
â€œLove is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.â€
January 06 2006
I got an ipod nano for Christmas, and I don't want it.
-let the insults begin...
January 03 2006
...it'll be a day like this one, when the world caves in...
-Switchfoot : Nothing is Sound-
December 31 2005
2005 has been a pretty good year:
-Seniors rox! '06
-I have gotten alot of new friends.
-I work up at the church A LOT, and have tons of responsibilities I love!
-I got a new job at a Christian Book Store.
-I went to San Diego, CA!! *yeah baby*
-My youth minister this year will be the college minister next year.
-My sister had her baby...
-I lost my puppy.
-and few others I won't mention...
Happy New Year!!!
December 15 2005
this started out as a longer poem but didn't quite make it that far...
17 years I waited
For his kind words to touch my face
17 years wasted
Vanished, without a trace.
Why I let myself start to trust him
I still don't understand
17 years on a guessing whim
17 years, I "chat" cannot mend.
Calls are pointless
He tried and he did fail
My heart needs a seemstress
Effort now is as pointless as the mail.
17 years flew by so fast
But the images of hatred still do last.
Inspired by life.
December 11 2005
A mother can replace anyone.
No one can replace a mother.
A girl who has lost her mother told me that. Its odd that people who have gone through horrible things like that seem to have the most faith of all and the least tolerance for wasting life, weither Christian or not.
December 09 2005
I am very tired. I'm working off of about 3hrs of sleep and my day is no where near over. Narnia by the way is awesome! I saw it at 12:01 am this morning. Lots of people I knew were there so it was really cool. Not much else.
The best feeling in the world is when you're driving home at around 2:30 in the morning, and there's nothing around you. It's just you, the noise the heater makes, the music you turned on to cover up the noise the heater makes because it's only like 20 degrees outside, and absolutly nothing around you but darkness. It's awsome, or at least for me it was.
December 01 2005
As I sit here and try to write
I think of all i've done tonight.
I watched t.v and ate my dinner
(If I ate better I could be much thinner.)
I drank my coke and combed my hair
And now I lay here and my eyes just stare.
I took out my contacts and put my glasses on
I laid down and said "demons be gone".
Then I closed my eyes and tried to sleep
But I soon realized my thoughts were to deep.
So I lay in bed and think what to do
Of words to say there are so few.
So in my head, I start to pray
And ask forgiveness for all i've done today.
I woke up and cursed his name
I had tripped over my sisters stupid board game.
As I pulled the monopoly houses out of my feet
The knife in my hand fell and I started to weep.
So then I bled the disgusting dark red
And now here I lay in my cold twin bed
So why can I not sleep tonight?
Well maybe it was that horrible fight.
I fight with my sister and she calls me those names
I bet she planted that silly board game.
I then went to school and defied my beliefs
I am but that first falling leaf
That falls in the winter as it gets deathly cold
I am what I am and I sit on the fold.
As I sat in English and again cursed his name,
I had failed my test yet again, what a shame.
And then I went home and I was in trouble tonight
I was sent to my room though I put up a good fight.
Then I rushed out the door with some rude remark
I sped off in my truck and returned around dark.
I argue and yell and throw big fits
I am better off living with cousin it.
So as I lay in my cold twin bed
I think I should pray and ask God to take back all I said.
I pray for forgiveness for all i've done
Even though I don't regret some.
I pray for strength to carry on
Or else one day I should just be gone.
I pray for patience to deal with life tomorrow
My whole life has been filled with gruesome sorrow.
So I end my prayer with a thank you, Amen
Then I picked up some paper and a dark blue pen.
I could do much worse then writing this and that
I could just eat until I am deathly fat.
I could use drugs or maybe a knife
No wait, I am past trying to end my life.
God granted us this life to live
And I will not spare my opportunity to give.
I have struggled with much and gotten past
But none of you could understand the pain that still lasts.
It stays in my heart and reminds me in my dreams
That everything I know is not what it seems.
As I lay here still. in my cold twin bed
I hope people remember some day what I said.
November 24 2005
It's official, i'm an Aunt. I put up some new pictures of me and baby george. My new profile pic is me and him yesterday. He weighed 6lbs 12oz and was 20in long. He was born at 11:45a.m. on Tuesday the 22nd. He's soooo cute! Happy Turkey Day to everyone.
(pictures to follow:)
November 21 2005
My prayer life struggles, i'll be te first to admit it. I sux at talking to God on a regular basis. God has given me such awesome friends though that I am recently being able to let go of my selfish "i-can-do-it-myself" ego and learn from them. I prayed really hard about a week ago to God and since then I gratefully bow down and pray to Him to thank Him for everything and talk to Him as I did that day. It was awesome. I talked to him as if he was a real peron standing right there in front of me. Except I did all of the talking. If I had said some of those things to another person they probley would have told me off, but some how God stands there, see's my sin, know's how I can't seem to change, and still loves me the same. Which reminds me of an amazing song a friend wrote. Not much else for today so good bye...
How do you stand to see,
My sin's pages?
Why do you hear when I beg for more?
What did you see in me,
That'd you want to complete,
That was worth dying for?
-Aric Harding Band-
November 11 2005
I cut my hair. Alot of it, all gone. about 4-5 inches. It's pretty nice. Maybe i'll put some new pictures up of it all. It feels weird when I go to brush my hair and whatnot. It's cool. Gotta work tonight with a new guy. (I thought I was new but aparently i'm ready to train other newbies... humm, whats wrong with this picture?!?)
Got to go and read now.
The Count of Monte Cristo
-good book, long book, but good so far
November 08 2005
Church on Sunday was awesome.
Wanna know why? Go to my xanga, it's all there.
Question for all:
When was the last time you felt closest to God?
November 02 2005
So at work, they gave me a key.. very exciting! I can now close the store by myself, maybe not completly by myself... but soon. Church tonight should be good, actually it should be really good and heart breaking, emotions shall break and fly. Alrightlly then, not much else. bye
October 31 2005
So, one of my guy friends brought one of his guy friends to church yesterday. This guy thinks i'm "cool" (lets just put it that way) So now he's gonna start coming to church every Sunday. I don't quite understand his feelings for me, seeing as how i wear baggy pants mostly and just plain t-shirts but hey.. whatever. All of this I find out yesterday by my friend at a church meeting. I "made an impression" So now i just figure that he can be ministered to more often if he keeps on coming. He's a pretty cool guy, I don't mind getting to know him.
October 27 2005
Very tired today.
Very stressed out latly.
MY SISTER IS DRIVING ME NUTS...
I cannot wait until they move out again. 1month down, 5 to go. ( if i don't go crazy first)
October 24 2005
The story part of my project is going good. I have 3 outta 5 stories ready to write. The poem part i will work on tonight and the rest is history. Not a very good weekend for me. I got into 3 fights with my sister and got in trouble on sunday for not cleaning my room.(rolls eyes) Today was better, well then again it's only 11:30 and anything can happen. I gotta pick my friend up from this place inlike an hour and i have no idea where it is so that'll be fun. Very tired now so good night, sleepy time, it's computer class, he doesn't care.
October 20 2005
I still keep my last thought but to make matters worse, i just spent the last 40 minutes of my computer class joining groups.. how lame am i? (don't answer that, as if anyone would)
The coolest thing:
I have to write a my own version of The Canterbury Tales! Using my own destination, plot, settings, and people. Sounds boring but i have to write it all in iambic pentameter, which basically is a really long poem type thing with 10 beat lines. Pretty awesome!!
October 19 2005
So, I think that if i got any more boring my site would close itself down.. hmmm, interesting thought. I want to go back to California.....