As I sit here and try to write
I think of all i've done tonight.
I watched t.v and ate my dinner
(If I ate better I could be much thinner.)
I drank my coke and combed my hair
And now I lay here and my eyes just stare.
I took out my contacts and put my glasses on
I laid down and said "demons be gone".
Then I closed my eyes and tried to sleep
But I soon realized my thoughts were to deep.
So I lay in bed and think what to do
Of words to say there are so few.
So in my head, I start to pray
And ask forgiveness for all i've done today.
I woke up and cursed his name
I had tripped over my sisters stupid board game.
As I pulled the monopoly houses out of my feet
The knife in my hand fell and I started to weep.
So then I bled the disgusting dark red
And now here I lay in my cold twin bed
So why can I not sleep tonight?
Well maybe it was that horrible fight.
I fight with my sister and she calls me those names
I bet she planted that silly board game.
I then went to school and defied my beliefs
I am but that first falling leaf
That falls in the winter as it gets deathly cold
I am what I am and I sit on the fold.
As I sat in English and again cursed his name,
I had failed my test yet again, what a shame.
And then I went home and I was in trouble tonight
I was sent to my room though I put up a good fight.
Then I rushed out the door with some rude remark
I sped off in my truck and returned around dark.
I argue and yell and throw big fits
I am better off living with cousin it.
So as I lay in my cold twin bed
I think I should pray and ask God to take back all I said.
I pray for forgiveness for all i've done
Even though I don't regret some.
I pray for strength to carry on
Or else one day I should just be gone.
I pray for patience to deal with life tomorrow
My whole life has been filled with gruesome sorrow.
So I end my prayer with a thank you, Amen
Then I picked up some paper and a dark blue pen.
I could do much worse then writing this and that
I could just eat until I am deathly fat.
I could use drugs or maybe a knife
No wait, I am past trying to end my life.
God granted us this life to live
And I will not spare my opportunity to give.
I have struggled with much and gotten past
But none of you could understand the pain that still lasts.
It stays in my heart and reminds me in my dreams
That everything I know is not what it seems.
As I lay here still. in my cold twin bed
I hope people remember some day what I said.