I need a minute...Just a moment to breathe

August 11 2005
Well it has come to the time to say goodbye.. and you know what sucks.. I dont think he even cares. But Im not going to let it get to me.. Im fed up with feeling the way I feel about worrying and stressing over this. Well on to other things... Derek gets married tomorrow night. Dont know how I truly feel about it. I feel like they rushed it all and I feel unprepared to say the my brother is married to someone. Im extremely happy for them though. So tonight is the rehersal dinner. Hopefully it will be fun... I just feel blah right now oh well enough bout my blahness I hope everyone has a good weekend. Yall should come see me at work saturday night..4-9:30ish lol!!

Tuesday's coming my baby.
I told you Wednesday morning.
It's not to late for us.
My bags aren't out the door, baby.
Don't you know life's a feeling.
But without you it's nothing.
My bags aren't out the door, baby.
Tuesday's coming.
And I'm not gonna leave you hear, darling.

It's a shame you can't hear me.
Scream my lungs out believe me.
The miles burn me up.
I'm living just to watch your fire, darling.
I'm headed out for the road now.
The engines hold me while sleeping.
A road might take me away.
But it's sure enough to bring me home, baby.
Tuesday's coming.
And I'm not going to leave you here, darling.

Walk Away...

August 03 2005
Hmm trying to figure out what to write on here is killer. Ive got so many thoughts running around in my head that they dont even have room to run around they are just stuck in one part of my brain and cant move dur to all the thoughts and worries that are in there. I cant believe that within a lil bit over a week people will be leaving...hmm the bitter sweetness of it all is very hard to take. I am not at all a person that does well with change so literally that is all that is consuming me right now... I hate it. I hate how it makes me feel and how it makes me act. I feel like suc a downer these past couple of weeks. Its scary to know my life and my wonderful and amazing friends are all fixing to change. I know I write alot about this but its like thats all that I can think bout lately. Hmm Derek's wedding is next friday..that will be interesting dont get me wrong Im soo excited bout goin and him getting married but of the one I mean the ONE and ONLY person that could make it all awkard and stuff will be there and will be bringing to other person who can make things extremely hard on me.. but hey you gotta take the good with the bad I guess.. Oh well this entry was pointless and kindof dumb and sad and depressing maybe a happier
one later..we'll see!
I wish I wouldnt let myself get soo emtionally involved......

Don't you get ahead of me
and I won't leave you behind
if you get unhappy
show me a sign

there's no love like lost love
no pain like a broken heart
there's no love like you and me
and no loss like us apart

promises promise is
only a word
and when softly spoken
is never heard

and a heart
is not a stone
and is fragile
when alone

by my side
by my side
won't you be by my side
by my side
by my side
won't you be by my side

my care for you
is from the ground up to the sky
it's over under up above
down below and to the side

no use in pretending
no use in saving face
my love is never ending
you are my saving grace

by my side
by my side
won't you be by my side
by my side
by my side
won't you be by my side


July 26 2005
So in short that one word up there describes my whole entire night!!!! Ahh the sweetness of being under the stars with someone you care for alot...Bliss.... So Ive come to the conclusion that things will be ok and its ALWAYS better when we're together....

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? and where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together

MMM its always better when we're together
Look at the stars when we're together
Its always better when we're together
Yeah, its always better when we're together

And all of these moments
Just might find there way into my dreams tonight
But I know that theyll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
But tomorrow night you see
That theyll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find there way
Into my day to day scene
Ill be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll Sit beneath the mango tree

Its always better when we're together
We're somewhere in between together
Its always better when we're together
Yeah, its always better when we're together

MMmmmm MMMmmmm Mmmmmm
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're Better together.


July 25 2005
I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.

Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though I'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in

I sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives

She says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty

Life of the party
and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say

She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back.

Nothin Ben&Jerrys cant fix...

July 24 2005
So today was like an all around bad day! I hate these kinds of days, its like nothing can go right...like when Charlie Brown walks around with the big thunder cloud over his head! This weekend was ok. I had fun Friday night But Saturday was not so good and today wasnt good at all! But hopefully things will get better...

There's gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
I'm gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I'm looking for
There's gotta be something more

But on the upside.. I will be getting a Yorkie here in the next couple of months!! YAY!


July 22 2005
So Im fixing to head up to UT to see my brother. This is the first time Ive ever been up there so Ive got mixed feelings bout it I want to go up there bc I want to see my brother and all but I feel like I dont have that long with my friends here! So Im like gah I want to stay in town. But alas I must go. So to all that are goin to New York Im praying for ya and have fun! Rach Im goin to miss ya girl! You must call me! Love everyone Ill be back on Sunday or maybe even tomorrow night! Love yall!

It's a heartache...

July 20 2005
As I sit here debating on what to write, or type actually, I am consumed with the feeling of heartache and happiness all at the same time. Music is so powerful, I know random, but it really is the music that I chose to listen to is dependant on my mood. I also love to let people listen to a song with which the words describe the exact way I feel. Tonight as I sat in my car with an extremely close friend of mine listening to music and talkin bout my future I relieze how much I missed and love him. I also reliezed that in just a short amount of time all of my friends that I love will be moving away. We are all about to set on a very real journey of the begining of our lives. And is just me or is anyone else scared out of their mind and extremely consumed with sadness because of the friends moving away. I know Ive strayed away from what I started to talk about in the begining but Im scared that all this wonderful people who have been in my life since I can remeber and have been with me and there for me in soo much that in just a short time will be gone to Knoxville or NC State, Auburn, and even the ones here at MTSU I guess the whole meaning of this entry was to say that I love everyone of yall!!! Every one has a special and there own place in my heart and I wish nothin but love and goodness for everyone as we start this next chapter in our lives!

See, you and me
Have a better time than most can dream
Have it better than the best
And so can pull on through
Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We'll make the Best of What's Around

Bananna Pancakes...

July 14 2005
Wow tonight I went and chilled at Joe Will's house with Willis Andrew Rollie and Layne(Joe's sister) and Cody we watched the ending of Pulp Fiction and then went and sat out in his lil closed in patio and watched it lighting and basically watched/listen to the storm come and talked till bout 10ish and then Layne has the bright idea we should all go play in the rain so we all went in and changed then headed outside and played in the rain Oh my gosh it was soo much fun!! I loved everys minute of it. Its amazing how one simple act can be so much fun! Then round 11ish I headed home and drove like 30 all the way home and just enjoyed drivin in the rain listenin to Jack Johnson and the Eagles a usually 10min drive home took like 25min it was so relaxing thats my fave thing to do is to just drive and listen to music like really listen to the words! Well enough for tonight! Yall enjoy this rain get out in it play, sing, be goofy!!

Wake up slow, yeah wake up slow
You hardly even notice
When I try to show you this
Song is meant to keep ya
From doing what your supposed to
Like waking up too early
Maybe we can sleep in
Ill make you banana pancakes
Pretend like its the weekend now


July 12 2005
Well things are t-totally 100% better Have yall ever seen Dead Poets Society, well if u havent u should bc it has got to be one of my all time favorite movies. It is mainly about a new english teacher(Robin Williams) who teaches at this very set in there ways private all boys schools. The movie focuses on a group of very different yet the all have something in common group of boys. Well Robin Williams is trying to teach them to think for themselves and to see the world in a different way then everyone else and his main statement is Carpe Diem! which means Seize the Day! To make every moment count and the make every day as if its ur last like everyone always heres tomorrow is never promised to anyone so alas my good friends and Carpe Diem!!


July 11 2005
So I feel like my life is slowly crashing into the ground... things seem to be just happening and slipping through my fingers and I dont know how to keep a hold of them but I guess its all for the best I just need to be patient and not try and rush my life along....

When your mind is a mess
So is mine
I cant sleep
Cause it hurts when I think
My thoughts aren't at peace
With the plans that we make
Chances we take
They're, not yours and not mine
There's waves that can break
All the words that we say
And the words that we mean
Words can fall short
Can't see the unseen
Cause the world is awake
For somebody's sake now, please close your eyes woman
Please get some sleep

On Target and late night cops!

July 08 2005
Wow I had soo much fun tonight first time to see Willis since we got home from sewanee, so that was nice. We went and ate at Chillis then headed to that On Target place, where they shoot guns, we met up with Andrew, Cody, Joe Will, Joe's parents and Andrew's dad. That was soo much fun! The first time I ever shot a gun or much less hold one it was soo awesome! I shot a 9mm and a 22 so that was fun, I think thats what they call the guns. Well that was my eventful night at On Target lol tons of laughs! Then Wed night hahaha, Me Rach and Robin went to the Reasturant Raid after church lol, to many laughs goin 70 on the way home from woodbury and swervin like crazy passing a cop in the meadian lol! I serisouly thought we were goin to get pulled over lol I love those girls!


July 05 2005
Wow this weekend was a BLAST I aboslutly loved it! I went to Sewanee with Willis and the boys then Chase came night up a Sunday night and hung with us that night and monday and monday night Ahh I cant even descirbe how beautful and peaceful it was up there I could soo live there hmm... the view was magnificent the pics in my pic box is what I got to look at every day or really every tine I was at Willis's house up there But anyways Im extremely beat so Im headed to bed!

P.S. On the way home we stopped and ate at Manchester then went to the Candy Factory there and Willis got me the biggest bag of Jelly Beans mmm! The pic is over there I dropped the bag in Andrew's car so some fell out and Ive ate some but the bag was full to the prim lol!


June 30 2005
As I sit here and listen to my main man George Strait Im consumer with great memories of this past week and summers before and now. My summers always seem to be consumed of craziness some good some bad but this summer has been filled with some great times. Like this week I hung out with my terrific friends! Yall rock my socks off! But Ive shopped, ate ice cream. gone and shot golf balls, ate at La Siestas yum!, and saw War of the Worlds so my week has been wonderfuly! Tuesday night got kindof rocky but we talked through it and now the end of the summer doesnt look to bad at all This summer is awesome hanging with friends and spendin time with my boyfriend is the best! Well guys im headed to go read some then heit the sack get to go to Cool Springs tomorrow to get some cute outfits for this weekend.. Get to go to Sawanee sunday throught late monday so ill post later with some pics!

Wait a minute

June 24 2005
Last night was fun got to hang with my girls and eat like we always do!! Peanut Butter Oreo ice cream is amazing and now I think is my comfort food which is bad bc it'll make me fat oh well lol! I also had a like kindof big/huge breakdown after I left Rach's which was bad bc of where I broke down and cried at but oh well he sat there and talked to me which was very sweet of him...but after my lil 25min cry I was better Its just been a weird couple of days for me everything seems like it is now all of a sudden just slipping slowly but surely away and I want to just collect it all and hold on tightly but I cant...

Im trying to keep it together...but Im falling apart..

Thoughts in my head...

June 23 2005
Im consumed about thoughts and worries about the future.. I guess you could say this is the one thing I struggle with the most. I worry about everything and even if it shouldnt be worried about in the first place I worry about it anyways. I guess this is what I get for getting up at 7 lol... but yall dont care to hear bout what I worry bout !

So last nigth at church was awesome! We got to hear ppl share about Big Stuf. This Big Stuf was the most special to me not only my last time to go but I let go of alot of things that had been boggin me down, yet I know they will always resurface in my life so please pray for me with these things bc I constantly struggle with them. But on a happier note I had a blast with the seniors on the trip and Im soo glad that we all got a chance to hang out! But last night before church I went and hung out with Jason Justin and Amy at Taco Bell and watched them eat and talk, haha fun times then after church I went to DQ with whit, rach, robin, and alex which was fun sitting out there just laughin and talkin those are always the greatest! This entry was really scattered Im sorry Im just really scattered brained today haha but all for now Love bunches!

Sleeping till 3..

June 20 2005
Well today was interesting to say the least I slept till 3:30 then jumped in the shower then went to Verizon to set up for unlimited texts for 5$ bc my text bill this month was 70$ hahaha now im just sittin on my bum doin nothin lol you gotta love summer hopefully can get out of the house later so if you wanna do anything later give me a call! Love ya!

Insane Neighbors

June 19 2005
Haha today has been insane! I got up and went to church like always tried out the College Sunday School it was different Ill just have to get use to it! Then came home and ate then went shopping got me some tops from GAP and Aero then came back home and did nothin lol! But about the title Ive been sitting here for the past hour or so watchin my NEW neighors haha they are a hoot theirs like a corvette sitting under the trees between our houses and like two trucks and a moving truck and now two more cars they are crazy and about 30min a go they drove the vette around the house i was like hmm very weird lol! But anyways enough bout my crazy day Hope everyne has been enjoying the Lord's day and relaxing! Talk to all later! Love bunches!


June 18 2005
Well this is my first time to write in here Im still tryin to figure out how to put pics up and all that jazz! Tonight was fun hung out with Jason and Chris and did bout nothin lol! But I always have fun with those two! Tomorrow goin to try the college sunday school I hope I like it! Well Im really tired so Im goin to head to bed nighty nighty