Becca Hicks
Relationship Status
Single
Highschool
Siegel High School
College
MTSU
Favorite Music
mostly rock. but i'll listen to almost anything.
life in general...
October 26 2006
life has been....ugh...weird lately.
dunno how to explain it, but i'll try my hardest.
i'verealized lately how much i act and put on this show for everyone. even for myself...and i haven't caught myself until lately.
i went to the judgment, and during the scenes everything hit me hard. i had been covering up this lie for so long...i just started bawling. i don't know what happened...but i cried a good 30 minutes or so afterwards + during the actual thing. it's really hard to explain. when i saw all of the
scenes (which by the way have all happened to me in one way or another) i realized how much i take my life for granted and i do stupid
things...without realizing how much it affects my personal life with christ.
i've fallen so far away...haven't been making much room for my "quiet time"...i've not been picking up my bible, i don't pray as often as i should. i don't know. i felt like i had been faking "happy go lucky christian" all this time and didn't even know the real meaning of having a relationship with jesus christ.
yeah. i screwed up pretty big this time.
i've been hiding and throwing all of my own problems on the
backburner..hoping no one would ever see them. only i would know what was in the back of my mind. and i've been hiding so much for so long. i just needed a pressure valve last night. someone to open it up and let all the steam out. yeah, thanks for being there chris (morgan). i just felt like breaking down in someone's arms. at the moment, i felt so
unloved and unwanted. it just all rushed in at once.
yeah, there's probably no one reading this, but that's okay. i need to get it out of my system.
i hope that if you are though, and i've hurt you in ANY way, shape, or form...i truly appologise. i really haven't been myself lately...and everything triggered anger. and when i say everything, i mean it. i was so vulnerable and satan took advantage of me.
but yeah.
just keep me in your prayers while i'm working everything out with my heavenly father. we need "the talk" again. i need to get some rules set down in my life. bear with me while i'm learning all over again to fall in love with him.
thanks......
[becca]
dunno how to explain it, but i'll try my hardest.
i'verealized lately how much i act and put on this show for everyone. even for myself...and i haven't caught myself until lately.
i went to the judgment, and during the scenes everything hit me hard. i had been covering up this lie for so long...i just started bawling. i don't know what happened...but i cried a good 30 minutes or so afterwards + during the actual thing. it's really hard to explain. when i saw all of the
scenes (which by the way have all happened to me in one way or another) i realized how much i take my life for granted and i do stupid
things...without realizing how much it affects my personal life with christ.
i've fallen so far away...haven't been making much room for my "quiet time"...i've not been picking up my bible, i don't pray as often as i should. i don't know. i felt like i had been faking "happy go lucky christian" all this time and didn't even know the real meaning of having a relationship with jesus christ.
yeah. i screwed up pretty big this time.
i've been hiding and throwing all of my own problems on the
backburner..hoping no one would ever see them. only i would know what was in the back of my mind. and i've been hiding so much for so long. i just needed a pressure valve last night. someone to open it up and let all the steam out. yeah, thanks for being there chris (morgan). i just felt like breaking down in someone's arms. at the moment, i felt so
unloved and unwanted. it just all rushed in at once.
yeah, there's probably no one reading this, but that's okay. i need to get it out of my system.
i hope that if you are though, and i've hurt you in ANY way, shape, or form...i truly appologise. i really haven't been myself lately...and everything triggered anger. and when i say everything, i mean it. i was so vulnerable and satan took advantage of me.
but yeah.
just keep me in your prayers while i'm working everything out with my heavenly father. we need "the talk" again. i need to get some rules set down in my life. bear with me while i'm learning all over again to fall in love with him.
thanks......
[becca]
Randy Lewis
October 26 2006
I read it. I'm sorry you've been going through some "confusing" times. The Holy Spirit never gave up on you. Neither did we. We're here if you need us. Love ya!
Jessica Jo
October 26 2006
I'm here for you Becca. I'm glad that you went to the Judgment. And know that you have people who will always love, support, and pray for you. You might believe you have screwed up but the wonderful thing about Him is....He always loves us enough to take us back. Remember that my Becca and smile knowing that He will always love you.... :-)
Alicia
October 26 2006
I'm glad the Judgement touched your heart, Becca. That's what we've all been praying for, that each scene would open the audience's eyes and God would use us all to do a work in their lives. I'm sorry to hear these things actually happened to you. It breaks my heart, but now you have an aweome testimony of how you either have been or WILL BE saved from all those things and that through it, you became closer to our Heavenly Father who loves us NO MATTER WHAT and always watches over us.
Alicia
October 26 2006
I want to add something...bad things have happened to me, too, but here's how I look at it: God didn't intend for those things to happen, but even the things Satan intends for the bad, God can make something good. I believe that I'm going to be able to minister to someone who's going through the same things I've already been through, and I'll help them like no one else can (except God) cause I know what they're feeling.
