life at the moment is......stressful.......
pretty sure i have like a bajillion knots in my back. =/
and i've pulled three muscles in about two days time. gah. it sucks.

been having these REALLY weird and awkward dreams about the end times. seeing one of my closest friends (or we used to be anyways) turn and go the wrong way...in one dream, he got the mark and tried to get me to get one...the next, he was with the antichrist and was verbally abusing me because i was a "christian" and god was never going to come back for me and the others, and that i was never good enough anyways.

these dreams have been happening every night for about the past week. i've only slept about a total of 3 hours...you know, cat naps basically...i'm extremely low on energy, and sometimes i wonder if i'll make it through the day. today, i was driving in franklin for my mom and i had to let her drive the rest of the day...it was just too much for me at that moment. i also didn't get to see gabri =( almost made me cry!! especially since she's leaving tomorrow....gah, i miss that girl.

then, you know..the family problems arise in the household...you guys don't wanna hear about those...

but everything together has been....almost too much....
can't sleep, hard to eat, and stress is slowly taking over my life.
stupid things tick me off, and i'm on the edge 24/7.
only thing that calms me down is being with meag...i mean, i don't have to worry about anything when i'm hanging out with her. she's amazing, and i dunno what i'd do without her... =/  meag, you're the best.

and, before you ask..don't even get me started on the whole guy situation...after everything that's been going on lately with me and the guy i like...or...liked...i'm so confused at this point....i've been having really bad self image issues and doubting myself. i dunno what triggered it, because i've been rejected more than once. it's horrible. i hate feeling this way......gosh, if only the guys knew what it did to me to just make certain comments or give certain looks. ooh, especially when they rub things in your face *cough, cough*..yeah, you know who you are...it ticks me off REALLY bad. don't do it again...

just keep me in your prayers, please..and my friend..
it means a heck of a lot.
[becca]