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May 07, 2008

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karla likes a boy.

so basically..

life right now is amazing.
i wouldn't change a thing.

so, yeah, when one thing doesn't work out...
maybe its for a good reason.

and i definitely learned that...
and i'm glad it happened, even though, i was hurt...
i'm happy now, and its great.

anyways, today i went shopping..
then i went to greenhills with richard.
davis kidd, starbucks, ruby tuesday.
its so great hanging out with him, b/c there's never a dull moment.
and yeah.
so, thats all i feel like typing for now.


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for some reason,
when i'm in the mood i am now...

i like to make myself miserable.
i like to make myself sick.
i shut myself down from the world.
i isolate myself.
i cry.
i get lazy, and i don't want to do anything.
all i want to do is sleep.
i don't let people help me.
i become mean.
i become a pessimist.
i find something to be unhappy about.

and the sad thing is..
is that as much as i don't want to do these things,
i won't let myself NOT do these things.

i don't understand myself.
but i'm hurt.
and as of now, thats all i know.

i need a change.
i need something that will bring me happiness.

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when you try your best
but you don't succeed.

when you get what you want,
but not what you need.

when you feel so tired but you can't sleep.

stuck in reverse.
and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace.
when you like someone but it goes to waste.
could it be worse?

i feel like LIFE itself is going downhill for me.

i don't understand anything anymore.

and nothing makes sense anymore.

so, what's my purpose?

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its amazing

how his words can make me cry just like that.

he's so wonderful.

having him tell me "karla, i really like you, a lot"
just made my night.
i cried tears of joy/happiness.

and then
"sleep good darling. goodnight beautiful"

thats all  i need.
a guy who will say those sweet things to me.

and, i think i found him.

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my valentine's day.

so yesterday was quite eventful-ish.

first of all, there's this boy... and i like him, a lot.

so, yes, he's my promdate, and he was my valentine. =]

but, anywho.
yesterday i went to go see him,
he had to work though,
and he works at opry mills..

so, i got on I-24 at 5:00..
3 miles later...
stand still rushhour traffic...
and it lasted 30 minutes.
= /
i was about to turn around,
but i was determined to go see him =]

so, i finally got there at 6:30
"/ but its okay.
i got to see him, and i stayed for an hour.

but yeah.

he makes me happy, and its an unexplainable feeling.
i LOVE this feeling.

his morning phone calls put a smile on my face...
as well as after-school phone calls...
and the phonecalls that end my night.

i'm happy.
and this is just what i needed.

so, being patient really paid off.

[thankyou God]

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