lauren cut a bit of my hair off w/o me realizing it.

i threw it at her.

"i want to go home to 18 inches of snow. no i dont. i lied. what are you going to do about it?"

um... yeah. this is how productive la-la-lauren and i are in philosophy w/o the teacher. we talk about elma getting raped up the ass with snow. buffalo is f-ing freezing.

and i have to work tonight.

and i got in my first fight with my boyfriend.

and i got in a fight w/ my mom about college at 7 am.

good job.

but that doesn't change my love for my favorite lauren. <3

i'm so sick of people. i need a new group.

but i'll keep my favorites and my crew bitches cus i love them more than you.

so alleghany w/ the crew bitches and my favorites was fucking awesome. we got totally trashed and i hooked up w/ this super hot kid. fucking irene that was an amazing kiss...

and brendan's in cleveland for college.

i'm soooo tired. noo sleep at all last night cus i was cuddling w/ ppl to stay warm. ick.

and i broke my toe. but w/e that was an amazing time.

so what have i done since... july? mmm, still coming home late, still working at mike's subs (ick), still looking for a boy...

but i did go to warped tour and crowd surf for the first time in my life.

i did realize who i want to keep in touch with through college.

and i'm totally screwed for summer reading and my marine bio assignment... ick.

and jeff is my best friend:

Jeff: actually i dont want you to get a boyfriend cause i mean then you'll spend less time with us.

i love that boy.

yeah... so sat. my friend kal calls me up and wants to know if i want to go swimming at tony's so he, tony and jeff don't look gay. so jeff and kal come all the way from west seneca to pick me up.

long story shortened: didn't get dropped off at home till about 1:30 am.

summer '05 rocks.

my swedish fish left yesterday. i miss her.

and... idk. i'm so confused. i feel like a hypocrite. why does everything feel so RIGHT with that boy? why did it have to at prom? why does it have to now? he chose ang over me and yet... it still feels right.

f-ing a.

ammi leaves on friday. i'm going to cry.

i love my crew bitches. i really really do. they're quite amusing.

and i'm going to miss brendan soooo so so so much. i've know him for 17 years. he's lived next door for 17 years. and now he's going away!!!

idk... i almost just want to rewind back to when he would run around my backyard with a green popsicle screaming, "lemon-lime, lemon-lime!" and to when we would have to shake the chain link fence to get each other to come outside and play.

hmm.

music: jack's mannequin: the mixed tape
mood: :/ ...remembering

yes i am back.

what have i done? well, last night i went to my bro's crew dinner. oh good times. never sit with my crew bitches during an award ceremony... they're... interesting. basically it included everyone at the table snorting and smothering laughter.

and yes i am lusting after a sophomore. if you have a problem with that don't tell me cus i don't care.

2 more exams!!!!

and yes.... regents are pathetically easy and we should not have to take them.

2 days...

then exams....

then i'm free!!!!!!!

is it a bad thing if you can't let go of the past? i try so hard not to but i keep looking over my shoulder...

mmm yeah... i'll update this occasionally but yeah... check out my xanga if you want to read my day-to-day ramblings.

cus you know how amazingly wonderful those are...

ick. i soooo do NOT want to go to church. i'm not even catholic, or even christian for that matter, so why do i even bother? oh yeah... haven't told my parents i've converted yet. grr. this is gonna be harder than i thought...

anyway, kal's going to brendan's grad party so it's all good. kal better tell bren this: "i never told him but hes kept me on the team for the past 2 years. i watched how dedicated he was even though he never got into the top boat and i always wanted to be like that." that is the cutest thing i've heard in my LIFE. brendan... you are seriously a hero.

respect that bitches.

my brother came in fourth at st. kits. and i got some really crappy pictures on a school camera that i don't know how to use. and my shoulders are sunburned cus for some reason, buffalo and canada decided to go up to 82 degrees and sunny.

but on the bright side....

I HAVE 3 SCHOOL DAYS LEFT!!!! and then exams. and then i start at mike's. and then onto getting money and being able to pay for concert tickets!!!!

this makes me very happy....

hmm... brian made me get this. hi brian!!!

so yeah... i feel cool...