*monica looking at the tv*
monica: "hey, is that lance...?"
naima: "yeah, uh...uh...ARMSTRONG!"
carla: "the astronaut?!"
monica: "no, lance..."
carla: "oh! that guy from backstreet boys!!"
*monica looking puzzled*
naima: "no, it is lance armstrong"
monica: "the astronaut is NEIL armstrong...and lance bass is from nsync..."
naima *to me*: blame it on the brain damage!"
carla: "brandon? what does he have anything to do with this?!"

yeah pretty sure i felt like the biggest loser EVER! maybe i'm overdoing myself...

went to wedding shower/bachelorette party #1 for jessica last night....very interesting! i never thought i would be doing what i did with that group of girls! a little uncomfortable at times, to say the least!

then i went and celebrated sparky's birthday! it was a blast! thanks for being born chris! ;) made some friends, made some enemies, ya know tha drill...leave me some love!

woohoo!! i got a 96 on my first biology test in 7 years! AND it's the first biology test i haven't cheated on! :) yay me!

photo from carla

i dedicate this picture to maria because i miss her and i love her so much! this is the picture that i see everyday above my computer...I LOVE YOU MARIA!!!!

ps- you are still the BEST big sis EVER, even if you are hundreds of miles away!

so i ate lunch with my mom today and i realized that i have no clue what i am going to do after college. i have been in such a hurry to get out of school all my life, but i have nothing to do afterwards! i will not have a degree in academics, i will not have a degree with an employable skill (well, if you don't count being a famous singer...), and since i had a stroke at 21, i will most likely not have any insurance unless it is through a job. crap. maybe i should just start all over with this whole college thing and be a nurse like my roommate...

so i have rediscovered how addicting the internet can be! i feel like i'm back in high school again...no offense ;) i am going to pry myself away from the computer now and go read harry potter :)

photo from nathan

nathan is the best...this will hopefully be my home one day!!!

*edit* so i just looked at the Met's season...if i lived in NYC, i don't think i would ever leave that place! the season is going to be fabulous! they are doing Wozzek which is an amazing opera but i've never heard of anybody doing it and Renee Fleming is singing in a couple of them. Wow. just leaves me speechless...

List 5 things you do alone that relax you compeletly. Then tag five people and they have to fill it out and tag 5 more.

So i have been taged by Chris Sparks so i will complete this so that i may fulfill my destiny>>>>>>
1. Staring at the Stars on a clear night
2. Taking a long shower and then going to bed
3. Listening to music
4. Driving down random backroads on a beautiful day with the windows rolled down, blasting music
5. Ironically.....cleaning

SO i am going to pass this on to Sharonthemezzo, blur8ders, countrygirl007, and lastly bouclee.....so you all have fun with this...

(i'm going to make a pass list for phusebox too...L-A, nathan, monica, rachael, and lastly maria :)

has everybody seen the taco bell commercial with the mp3 players (the one about the shell that encases the meet stuff...haha) anyway, does that guy not remind you of chris madison?? "it's good to go" :)

HARRY POTTER COMES OUT IN 5 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!! who's excited!?

in conjunction with the last post, i want to post this because it takes me back to happier, more simpler days. oh how i long for those days!
listen to the song here

here i am
humbled by your majesty
covered by your grace so free
here i am
knowing i'm a sinful man
covered by the blood of the lamb

now i've found
the greatest love of all
is mine
since you laid down your life
the greatest sacrifice

MAJESTY, MAJESTY!
your grace has found me just as i am
empty handed but alive in your hands

here i am
humbled by the love that you give
forgiven so that i can forgive
so here i stand
knowing that i'm your design
sanctified by glory and fire

and now i've found
the greatest love of all
is mine
since you laid down your life
the greatest sacrifice

MAJESTY, MAJESTY!!!
your grace has found me just as i am
empty handed but alive in your hands
MAJESTY, MAJESTY!
forever i am changed by your love
in the presence of your majesty, MAJESTY!

in the past couple of days i have found out information and have been treated like a big piece of poop. i do not like to feel like poop. no, seriously tho - the past 10 months (off and on) i have been caught up in a whirlwind of junk. it all came crashing down around me this week. and it hurts. it hurts bad. i thought that people only acted this scummy in movies...i never once thought a human being could be so harsh. i guess i tend to think the best of people, especially those i love. i always thought it was a good trait to have, but i guess i need to evaluate how far i take it. my utmost for his highest today asked the question: "Do you have even the slightest reliance on anything or anyone other than God?" Yes. i rely on people WAY too much. i rely on them to find my worth, and as i've been shown this past week, that can EASILY backfire on you. easily. i cannot believe i let my feelings blind me to the truth. i was determined not to regret this (pride maybe?) but i have to say i regret this entire year. thank you ben petty for making me feel like a worthless piece of shit. you are truely gifted at it.

Devoted, loving, and sympathetic, your life centers around the well-being of your family and those you love. A happy, harmonious personal life is what you value above all else. You will also find satisfaction in serving those in the outside world, becoming involved in the helping professions, in community service and affairs, or by giving generously of your time and help to your friends. You are protective, responsible, and conscientious towards those who depend upon you, and you are the ideal mother or father in many ways, though you can be too involved in the lives of your loved ones. Learn to allow family members the freedom and room to make their own choices and mistakes.

You respond to beauty, and are gifted in the arts. Creating a beautiful garden or home is very satisfying to you.

i am very saddened. not only because of my situation, but the situation of the others involved. but i am afraid it is out of my hands. i am relinquishing my hold...and if people want things fixed, they are going to have to come to me. i cannot keep running after them. i only have so much stamina. i am here to talk, but i will not try to initiate anymore. oh how i long for them to come to me....

please don't let a misunderstanding ruin what we have

photo from carla

do the fly swat! ;)

yay take a look at my new pictures!

wow...i haven't updated in awhile! well, my friend nick (actually my counselor from governor's school) came into town this weekend and visited me...we had a blast! we just hung out and yesterday we went to nashville to see the fireworks and met up with la and dusty and some of his friends. the fireworks were A-MAZING! i swear, i look like a little kid when i watch fireworks...i clasp my hands in front of my chest and clap when i see something pretty :) anyways! then today i went to lunch with good 'ole nathan and la and nick...that was fun! took some pictures which i can go and pick up in a few minutes...i'll be sure to post them on here! anyways, i must now go back to reality and get ready for work...love you all!

so i went to marble slab again today with olivia and as i was checking out, the guy ringing me up was like "aren't you the girl that brought in the cup of change?" haha! i was like why, yes i am! and as i was paying with a credit card he said "seriously, next time just bring in your change and whatever you don't have, i'll make up for it!" i was like rock on! so zac buddy, be prepared! ;)

my awesome friend mitch wrote this and i think it's beautiful...

I couldn't be with you because it felt too good, and I couldn't be without you because it hurt too much
I lost myself in you and couldn't find my way back out
But finally your night is ending and my dawn is rising

who would have thought that a simple trip to marble slab could turn out to be sooo much fun. let's rewind....i called laura-anne tonight just as she was getting back in town, and the two of us decided that we needed some marble slab in our lives. the only problem is that neither of us have any money. especially not any money to blow on something like ice cream. luckily, we didn't let that stop us. i searched my room and found a few dollars in change to get us started, then i headed over to la's. we put all of my change plus her handfuls of nickels into a cup and hoped for the best. we drive on over to marble slab only to see that it costs $3.59 for just one thing. being slightly discouraged, we went back out to the car to check around for more loose change. we searched all the purses in the car, checked the cupholders that were full of trash, tried the center console, the floor in both the front and back, and even dug through the trunk. every time we found more change we screamed all super loud and got some quite interesting looks from passersby, but it was well worth it because we ended up with $8.43!! unfortuntely, we still had a problem. la may have a knack for math, but that doesn't mean she's flawless. she definitely made an error in figuring out exactly how much we needed so we thought we were still about a quarter short. we had only one option.....the parking lot. we started by just looking near the car, but before long we had covered pretty much the whole parking lot and we'd made our way over to bed, bath, and beyond. needless to say, we really wanted our ice cream. as we made our way back towards marble slab, we began to realize our defeat. but i so brilliantly suggested that we go back inside and see if there was anything cheaper on the menu. we looked and looked with no luck. la had just turned to me and insisted that we didn't have enough money when out of the blue, super nice guy behind the counter asks how much we have. we told him and he assured us that it was enough. we coudn't believe our ears! could we really be on our way to enjoying the yummy goodness that is marble slab?!?! we even had him check it on the register and sure enough, la had made a math error and we did indeed have enough money. so this super nice guy, zac, helped la while some other guy helped me and we ended up with our yummy yummy ice cream. then it was time to pay. each of us only had one unoccupied hand, so zac had to help us count out all of our change. as we're all counting, he makes us feel a bit better by letting us know that he, too, has a change jar that decided whether or not he can make a purchase. there was an instant bond based on the poverty that we all share. la even told him about us searching the parking lot for change for about 10 minutes. he laughed pretty hard at us for that one, but then he let us know that anytime we want some ice cream, he could help us out. he told us to just bring in whatever money we had and he'd make up the difference. yeah, he so thought we were cute. so anyway, we ended up with our ice cream, no more money, and an offer from zac to help us out anytime we're a little too low on cash to afford marble slab. though our little trip to ice cream heaven turned out to take over an hour, it was a fabulous start to a night full of a whole lot of laughs!!!!

I can't run anymore,
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

Constantly ignoring,
The pain consuming me,
But this time it's cut too deep,
I'll never stray again.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love,
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

photo from lalalalala

oh yeah! i knew i was hiding that snowball...:)

photo from lalalalala

what a fun day...:)

So I went to see Dr. Witt today and he informed my mom
and I that I have a very small blood vessel in my
brain where the stroke happened that because of
dehydration and some medicine I was taking the blood
thickened too much to get around anything that could
have been in the way (such as a clot). I am off the
medicine now and he said that as long as I keep myself
hydrated I should be fine! I can return to normal
activities (such as driving and working out) and I
don't have to go on any kind of diet! WOOHOO! I had a
field vision test yesterday that showed that the upper
left corner of both my eyes (imagine your field of
vision being split into 4ths) is damaged to where I
only saw about 8 out of 50 or 60 flashes of light in
that area. He also said that most recovery is done
within the first month so I may not continue to see
improvement in my vision or in my confusion/slow
processing of information. But with God anything is
possible right?! Please just pray that my body will
continue to repair itself and be restored to full
function! Thank you for all of your
prayers during this rough time! I love you all!

photo from bee136

aww yay! friends since the 5th grade rock!! ;)