Vanderbilt Voice Clinic

so i went to the VVC today to get a 2nd opinion on a tonsilectomy and i'm going to go through with it! except, i think i'm going to cancel my appt for here and do it and vandy. they are just set up better for vocalists. like they have a speech pathologist AND a singing coach to go to for therapy after the surgery - which here has neither.  AND they work with lots of famous vocalists (ok, most are country stars, but they still use their voice for $$!) and so they understand to be very careful.

on another note, the doctor (dr. garrett) said i had a lot of tension in my muscles under my jaw and under my chin (back of tongue) and that's why i talk so low and stuff...so i might start going to the speech pathologist and getting some exercises.  but on that same note, it made me very self concious today in my singing and got me really depressed in the way i sounded. hopefully it's just because i'm tired and my voice is tired. hopefully it'll be better in a week and a half for my recital. maybe i'm not getting enough sleep. ugh i dunno! i just want my recital to be perfect! :( so much pressure!!!!!!!!

a few songs that i heard on the radio on my way home that pertain to my life right now...


Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
~Behind These Hazel Eyes kelly clarkson

You think you've got it
Ohh, you think you've got it
But got it just don't get it
Till' there's nothing at all
We get together
Ohh, we get together
But seperate's always better when there's feelings involved
If what they say is "Nothing is forever"
Then what makes love the exception
So why  are we so in denial
When we know we're not happy here
~Hey Ya by outkast



today has been mind blowing.  to cut right to the chase, danielle and i
have made a contract for one another to get our lives back on track.
the right track. no more of this bullshit that now consumes our life. 
and i feel good about it.  we have much of the same issues and so we
can hold each other accountable for them.  i have no one else to turn
to, and so i turned to God.  I feel good about this, and hopefully my
heart will begin to heal.  i take that back, i know it will begin to
heal.  please understand that these changes in my life have to be made
because right now my life is too destructive for me personally.  
please don't try to coerce me out of something "just this once" because
i will most likely fall. and i do not want to. i will be victorious and
i will begin to heal.  i know it.  i love you all and want you to know
that. 

i just ran for a straight 11 and 1/2 minutes!!! i've never done that before in my life! the most i've ever ran is 5 and that was just a few weeks ago! i'm so proud of myself!!!!

soooooooooooooo..........

I FOUND MY RECITAL DRESS!


it didn't take very long - we actually found it at the first store we
looked at! and for me, that's a huge deal! if you're special, you may
get to see it before the big day. if you're not special, then you'll
just have to wait 'til Nov. 20!! hehe

so i don't know if i'm the last person to know this or not (and sorry ami if i am stealing your thunder) but i got an email today from becky haynes saying that at Rick's last CT scan they found no traces of cancer!!!!!!!!!!! PTL!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so happy! congrats to the driver family!!! i love you all dearly and are so happy for you!

A - Age of your first kiss: 20
B - Band you are listening to right now: Damien Rice
C - Crush: i don't know if i have one...
D - Drink you drank last: water
E - Easiest person to talk to: Megan
F - Favorite ice cream: mmm....birthday cake :)
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: worms baby!
H - Height: 5'1"
I - Imaginary friend as a kid: i don't think i had one...
J - Junk food: anything? i live for junkfood!
K- Kindergarten teacher's name: Mrs. Boatwright!
L - Longest car/bus ride: either NYC or Sherman, TX...i think they were about the same!
M - Mom's name: Waldean
N- Nickname: car, carlie, the gremlin ;)
O - One wish:  to make it in opera!
P - Phobia: stinging insects!
Q - Quote: "It was the week of enormous amounts of sex!" ~a KD lady ;)
R - Reason to smile: my friends
S - Some Random Fact:  Long Island Ice Tea has the most calories out of any other mixed drink
T - Talk about: eh?
U
- Unknown fact about me: not much about me is unknown....i like to play
with satin under my fingernails but just about everybody who knows me
knows that!
V - Vegetable: POTATOES! they count right?
W - Worst Habit: did i mention that satin thing?
X - X-rays you've had: umm...lots
Y- Years you have been in church: 15 or 16
Z - Zodiac sign: Aries

way to go matt for your logo!! it's very crafty :)

aww i'm listening to the once on this island soundtrack....good times! it's safe to say i incredibly miss senior year choir! there is nothing else like it...

sooo, i had just found out about the engagement the other night, but had NO idea how soon it was going to take place! it was like bam bam bam! and how did y'all know that's what i was talking about huh?

ok so it wasn't exactly on the way to the forum, but something funny did happen tonight! sadly, i cannot tell what :D lets just say a little slip up was made in the car tonight and some top secret information was shared...hehe!

so, my friend andrew has a phusebox now, and maybe jordan will soon get one, and then it will spread through the music building! i'm so excited for nathan with this taking off like it has! way to go and congrats nathan! i miss you!

welp, today has not been a very good day.  i woke myself up at 9am this
morning with a terrible pain in my left side. and i'm talking TERRIBLE!
so i called my mom and we decided that i needed to go to the ER (i feel
like i practically live there nowadays) so we went and after blood
tests and a cat scan we determined that i had a kidney stone. 3 mm big
but it was almost to my bladder so the worst part was over. MAN let me
tell ya it was one of the worst pains in my life. and after having
pleurisy and a stroke, that's saying a lot. so i have been on drugs all
day long, peeing every 3 minutes except for when i'm asleep. but on the
plus side, as my mom was here taking care of me, she did my laundry and
cleaned my room! you can now see my floor! everybody should come see
this once in a lifetime feat ;) 

yay for greenbox!!!!!

 
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? my hair

2. How much cash do you have on you? a buck

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? guest

4. Favorite planet? umm...the earth?

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? miss amanda king!


6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? hehe - lets get it on!


7. What shirt are you wearing? SAI rush shirt fall '05

8. Do you "label" yourself? DIVA! haha no really, i label myself as a musician

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? how about brand  no shoes

10. Bright or Dark Room? bright

11.
What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
cayce you are awesome! i'm so glad we have become better friends this
year!

12. Ever "spilled the beans"? i don't know what you are talking about... 0=)

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? working on my outline for my vocal lit paper i should be doing right now...

14.
What did the last text message in your cell phone say? "You want to
call me when you get done? Is McCallie ok with you? I am sick of the
KUC. I want something a little healthier. If not, that's ok too!" from
amanda

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? ugh no and
the people that do should be shot b/c they give the banner people hope!

16. What's a saying that you say a lot? that's A-MA-ZING!

17. Who told you they loved you last? my mommy

18. Last furry thing you touched? haha becky's purse :)


19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days? IB Profin and asprin....oh and there was this other one...jk

20.
How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? i'm sure there is
one from like 5 years ago that i still haven't gotten developed...

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 20

22. Your worst enemy? heheheh....

23.
What is your current desktop picture? lake michigan with a lighthouse
in the background...from when i went to visit cassie :)

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? it was good to talk to you...bye!

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? major regret definately

26. Do you love/ like someone? i don't know...


so....something exciting happened while i was filling this out! many of
you might not know him, but seth carico called me when i was on #22!!!
i've talked to him once through email since he graduated and he just
called to say hello and to see how things were going! we talked about
grad schools a little bit and about the awesome program he is in now.
it was good to talk to him. but really, now i must go get started on
this paper! ciao!

i am soooo excited about project greenbox going live this week! you all are in for a real treat!

 i just want everybody to know that cassie just made my day by this:

"If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring: satin "

she remembers things like that. and that makes her special! and makes me feel special! i love you cassie!!!!!

Heres what you do:

Go to google.com and type "(your name) needs" Then pick the 5 funniest ones there.



If your name is James, you would put this in to the search engine: "James needs"



you got the idea

~Carla needs help with health and finance


~Carla needs to pee and encouraged by Kim slips into a small park and
pees on the grass while Kim keeps watch.
~Carla needs to know how precious and lovable she is.

~Carla needs to subtract 42 from 865.

~Carla needs lovin! (just so you know, this came off of a phone sex website! haha!!!)



what do you need??

This is
funny. YOU fill in the blanks about ME and send it back to ME. But
first send a blank one out to all your friends so they can return the
favor to you. Be honest - they're really SCARY to get back.



Your name:


Where did we meet:


Take a stab at my middle name


How long have you known me:


Do I believe in God:


What was your first impression of upon meeting me:


Color of my eyes:


Do I have any siblings:


What's one of my favorite things to do:


Am I funny:


Do you remember one of the first things I said to you:


What's my favorite type of music:


What is the best feature about me:


Am I shy or outgoing:


Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:


Do I have any special talents:


Would you consider me a friend:


If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:


What's your favorite memory of me:


What is my worst habit:


If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring:

so i played poker last night and it was a blast! we've been trying to get together a weekly poker game, but it just hasn't happened since the first week. well last night it did and it was soooo much fun! i think maybe i'm getting the hang of it! i love all my friends...they're the greatest!

I got this from my friend Carla and thought I would post it....oh how I sometimes wish I could go back to those days...


iiTs FuNNy HoW LiiFe GoEs By sOO qUiiCk!

Close your eyes... And go back...

Before the Internet or the AIM

Before semi automatics and weed

Before playstation2 or X-bOX

Before the 5 hours of homework you put off every night...

Before when We got Our Hearts Broken


Way back...


I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.

Red light, Green light.

Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on.

Mother May I?

Red Rover

four square

Hula Hoops

Running through the sprinkler

Happy Meals

Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car



Wait...

Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons

Like Hey Arnold and Doug

Or what about legends of the hidden temple, global guts, double dare, and who, ARE YOU AFFRAID OF THE DARK!

Who could forget Snick

Or the teenage mutant ninja turtles,and Power Rangers,


Christmas morning...

Your first day of school

Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses



Climbing trees

Getting an ice cream off the ice cream truck

A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers

Jumpin' down the steps

Jumpin' on the bed

Pillow fights

Runnin' till you were out of breath

Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt and you almost peed your pants

Being tired from playin' all day

Your first crush...

Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7-Up" in the classroom

Remember that?



I'm not finished yet...

Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer

Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars or spokes

Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school

Class Field Trips

When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.

When getting high was swinging on the swingset

When $5 seemed like a million, and another dollar a Miracle.

When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were so cool.

When Toys r Us overuled the "mall"


I want to go back to the time when...

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"

Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening

It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.

Being old, referred to anyone over 20.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.

Nobody was prettier than Mom

Nobody was cooler than Dad

Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.

Getting an inch of snow was a dream come true.

Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.


If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!



Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life...


i double dog dare you!!

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
Cause I don't know what's safe
Oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find trth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
Though I know nothin's safe
Oh me of little faith

~Nickel Creek

Well it's a lonely road that you have chosen

Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

And it's a long time since your heart was frozen

Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

For a moment your eyes open and you know

All the things I ever wanted you to know

I don't know you, and I don't want to

Till the moment your eyes open and you know


That it's a lonely place that you have run to

Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

And it's a lonely end that you will come to

Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore


For a moment your eyes open and you know

All the things I ever wanted you to know

I don't know you, and I don't want to

Till the moment your eyes open and you know


For a moment your eyes open and you know

All the things I ever wanted you to know

I don't know you, and I don't want to

Till the moment your eyes open and you know

You are a
Social Conservative
(31% permissive)

and an...
Economic Moderate
(41% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Totalitarian

























Link: The Politics Test  on Ok Cupid
You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness. loc

aww one of my sisters in KD just asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding!! that makes me so happy! this is the 3rd wedding i will be in in 1 year (or so) and i've never really been in any until now! (my ex-boss doesn't count b/c i was a backup on the day before) ;)

humm...3 times a bridesmaid, never a bride. sadness....

you know your passionate about opera when you tear up while looking at the metropolitan opera's website! oh, if only i lived in NYC with you guys! if i can find some cheap airplane tickets, i might just be crashing at your place maria!