a few songs that i heard on the radio on my way home that pertain to my life right now...


Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
~Behind These Hazel Eyes kelly clarkson

You think you've got it
Ohh, you think you've got it
But got it just don't get it
Till' there's nothing at all
We get together
Ohh, we get together
But seperate's always better when there's feelings involved
If what they say is "Nothing is forever"
Then what makes love the exception
So why  are we so in denial
When we know we're not happy here
~Hey Ya by outkast



today has been mind blowing.  to cut right to the chase, danielle and i
have made a contract for one another to get our lives back on track.
the right track. no more of this bullshit that now consumes our life. 
and i feel good about it.  we have much of the same issues and so we
can hold each other accountable for them.  i have no one else to turn
to, and so i turned to God.  I feel good about this, and hopefully my
heart will begin to heal.  i take that back, i know it will begin to
heal.  please understand that these changes in my life have to be made
because right now my life is too destructive for me personally.  
please don't try to coerce me out of something "just this once" because
i will most likely fall. and i do not want to. i will be victorious and
i will begin to heal.  i know it.  i love you all and want you to know
that.