in the past couple of days i have found out information and have been treated like a big piece of poop. i do not like to feel like poop. no, seriously tho - the past 10 months (off and on) i have been caught up in a whirlwind of junk. it all came crashing down around me this week. and it hurts. it hurts bad. i thought that people only acted this scummy in movies...i never once thought a human being could be so harsh. i guess i tend to think the best of people, especially those i love. i always thought it was a good trait to have, but i guess i need to evaluate how far i take it. my utmost for his highest today asked the question: "Do you have even the slightest reliance on anything or anyone other than God?" Yes. i rely on people WAY too much. i rely on them to find my worth, and as i've been shown this past week, that can EASILY backfire on you. easily. i cannot believe i let my feelings blind me to the truth. i was determined not to regret this (pride maybe?) but i have to say i regret this entire year. thank you ben petty for making me feel like a worthless piece of shit. you are truely gifted at it.