it's amazing how the world throws curveballs at you. i was really upset about numerous things this morning, almost started crying on the way into class, but Anna and Catherine brightened my mood. and the more i thought about it, the more i knew that it's actually better this way. because i still love him, but more in a brotherly/protective way, and i think that's why i liked him so much to begin with.

i was also very upset about another guy, who obliviously hurt my feelings, but that was in no way his fault. but then i decided that i was just the stepping stone for the relationship he's in now, and i should be proud not hurt.

so as i was thinking to myself in church, "hmm you should just swear off boys for the moment, all they do is bring stress over something you shouldn't even be worrying about anyways." so i was perfectly fine with this resolution, and then who do we spot not 3 rows behind us?? nathan's sister, kristen. the world just threw thoughts of him in my face. i find it really funny, but at the same time cruel....

found a passage i really like for this moment in my life...

1 I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.

2 I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.

3 When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.

4 Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.

5 I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living."

6 Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.

7 Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.

-Psalms 142

i hope this week is sooo awesomely better than this past one

-i hate it when i'm not allowed to like boys.
-i hate immature senior guys who have no life and just continue to make up crap that i did wrong.
-i hate it how they make me want to cry and laugh all at the same time.
-i hate how whoever i like always seems to get a girlfriend when i want them the most.
-i hate it when i get disappointed in them and put our friendship on the rocks.
-i hate how the only ones i can ever talk to, don't ever seem to like me.
-i hate how they are so oblivious to our emotions
-i hate how they smell so darn good...
-i hate how they can be the sweetest greatest boyfriend around their new girlfriend, but aren't when they're mine.

why do i suck? why can i not hold a relationship more than a month? why do i ruin every single relationship (boyfriend or not) with guys?

i need some Jesus....

it's amazing how fast the world can turn on you. one day you're breezin on by, and the next it hates you. we shouldn't be of this world, so i guess it's ok right??

In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. -Psalms 33:21

woohoo for no remarks! yes!

lol so my quest for getting on homecoming court is kinda looking good...

lots of fun... i ate WAY too much and played too much golf. i don't want to see a golf ball or putter ever again.

lots of inside jokes...

check out the pics they are up and if you want to know anything about them just ask!

GOOOOOOO JESUS!!!

so the dreaded game is finally here. i hate playing teams in murfreesboro. too much hate, i swear!

lots of fun today. i don't know it was just slow, but enjoyable :)



photo from blue_lips

heck yes, me as the pink ranger when i was like 5. i SOOO miss those days.

i'm a closet power ranger fan :)

woah i've finally heard smoke on the water!

heehee "what if God was one of us" just came on Jack. lol i was singing that all day :)

man i hope we cream Oakland....

NO SCHOOL

i'm really worried about the people in New Orleans and Mobile. i was reading CNN.com, and it was saying how New Orleans is going to be uninhabitable for weeks perhaps longer. it's crazy to think that one of the most well known cities in our nation could possibly be gone after this storm hits.

another thing to think about is that it'll hit us on monday and tuesday, meaning no practice AGAIN. and i would just love to know what we're gonna do for those 3 hours. personally i wouldn't mind going outside and just marching in the rain, it was the funnest time i had last year. we'll probably go in the gym and work on visuals for the drum solo... again...

i'm getting really excited about this new greenbox thing Nathan is cooking up. i can't wait for it to be unveiled.

new pics up. they are umm... interestingly funny.

kathryn-claire
Very much an individual with a charismatic personality and keen mind you attract many admirers and much affection. You are extremely sociable and build relationships with honesty, trust and a good sense of humour. You have great potential for material success using your intellectual skills possibly in writing or speaking. Your industry, determination and positive mental attitude always win out

it's finally the weekend! even though it won't feel like it, since i have a game tonight, a pancake breakfast and practice for most of the day tomorrow, and i'll have to clean house for Sunday.

anyways i took this really nifty picture today


photo from blue_lips

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE!!

yay phusebox is at schoool. that rocks my socks off.

you guys have an awesome day!!

hey check out the new pics in my album. they're from last year. are you in them? i dunno you'll have to seee!!

this heat needs to go away right now ...

it's amazing what can happen to so many people in such a short time span. there's so many things to be praying for, and it's just the 2nd week of school.



photo from blue_lips

my favorite freshman!!!



photo from blue_lips

i miss San Ant[i]onio.

i hope this upcoming year is as good as the last. i already miss so many people i'm not in classes with anymore, but as in latin amor omnia vincet ...

love you all...

p.s. can someone show me how to do hearts?

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart

3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.


that hit me this morning. it's a definition of who I'm supposed to be with when i grow up. as well as something i should strive to be.

i didn't know Bruce, but somehow I know i would've loved him, as so many of you guys do. i'm sure he was the epitome of Psalm 15.

Rest in Peace Bruce...

wickedly fast day today. Jesus is now in my English class, i've found that i just can't work a paper cutter, i'm more stupid in algebra than i thought i was, and so far i'm totally digging band, but that could change at any given moment. we talked basically the whole time in Chem., and i actually enjoyed latin today, because all we did was write.

band was horrible, it was sooo hot, and the final run was terrible. i'm already getting sick of it, and it's only the 2nd week in.

i really miss some people. the people i don't see or get to talk to the entire day. kim, michael, brittany, etc....

i'm a planner. so naturally at the beginning of every year, i think of the route i will take everyday, but this year, is weird. mostly because i don't have a band hall locker. and it's slowly tearing me apart.

now for the seriousness....

i'm drifting from God, faster than i ever have before. i'm praying with no results, and maybe He's taking His time, perhaps to make me see that i need him more than anything. because at this moment i'm finding other things to fill the void of Him not being there.

God-Shaped Hole- Plumb

Every point of view has another angle
And every angle has its merit
But it all comes down to faith
That's the way I see it

You can say that love is not divine and
You can say that life is not eternal
"All we have is now"
But I don't believe it

Chorus:
There's a God-shaped hole in all of us
And the restless soul is searching
There's a God-shaped hole in all of us
And it's a void only He can fill

Does the world seem grey with empty longing
Wearing every shade of cynical
And do you ever feel that
There is something missing?

Chorus

That's my point of view...

There's a God-shaped hole in all of us
And the restless soul is searching
There's a God-shaped hole in all of us
And it's a void (repeat 2x)

Only he can fill
Only he can fill
Thats my point of view
Thats my point of view, yeah

well i had like the best night i've had in a REALLY long time. Alyssa was home for this weekend i guess, and we went to Pizza Bell, Sonic, Fantastic 4, and Starbucks. i haven't laughed that hard in a while. plus it was with people i don't really get to hang around, so it was even funner.

oh and apparently i'm in a fight with some girls in Tampa, who were being really mean to my friend so i called them sluts and now they're IMing me and commenting on my xanga saying i smoke pot and do shrooms. yeah and they can't spell worth a flip.

i find it kinda amusing...



photo from blue_lips

chels, em, and me



photo from blue_lips
being silly



photo from blue_lips
can't wait!!!



photo from blue_lips
Seanie and Alyssa



photo from blue_lips
mmm Mint Chocolate Chip Frappacino!!!

woot. it's FINALLY over. weird tan lines, hurt knees, headaches, and the never dying thirst are over. for a while anyways.

i have 3 days withOUT band. which is terrific if you ask me. our first "field" run on the football field was so-so, but i think that it'll be AMAZING later on.

and now onto sleep.

school started.

it's going to be an interesting year...