hmm...you're the kind that I thought only existed in the books that I read...the kind that dream of fighting off bedoins, dining with s heiks, sneaking through the jungles of Africa, governing a ship headed for nowhere, and walking the streets of Prague, all while never knowing the right things to say nor saying the things that I want to hear...but reminding me of the dreams that I'd left behind...and telling me in a loud toned voice that nothing is impossible...the type that dosen't exactly sell off the shelves but still contains that adventure and spontaneous character...yes, I've come to find that you're exactly that kind, the kind that I'll ultimately fall in love with.

what can I say?
It was "eventful".

want quotes?
demand them from Brian King!

trust me...it's worth it...you'll want to know.

well there is no need to inform you of who won...because if you don't know already...you should be stuck in the lockeroom with the ever rude zidane...yeah that's right.

In any case...today was splendid.

After persuading Brian King to cross over to the dark side (Italy) simply because one of the players looked liked him (ironically the one who took his pants off after they one the game) the gang made it's way to my house where we enjoyed a private viewing of Dirty Dancing: havanna nights which was followed by a silent film performed by none other than Brian King, Anna Miller, and myself...music provided by "Cameron"...yes he goes by one name...like Cher.

it twas a pleasant day.

oh and if Kelly reads this...once again...you are my new best friends...because italians are really just that hott..

this is my shallow post for the day.

comment.

Well...

Cameron,Anna,Aaron,"Will", and I decided to go on a lovely date to the movie theatre to see "Nacho Libre" and following the thrilling film we jaywalked our way over to the well-known Camino Real located on cason lane.

In any case...although the company was well kept the service was repulsive.

The man made me eat cow.

Now I'll have you know, I have no issue with beef and I generally like it when it is not being shoved in my face by a cow-lover simply because I forgot to request a cheese enchilada after which my comply to change the order was met with a simple,"It's already made."

Fine. I could deal with that.

But then, the man simply ignored the empty cups belonging to my peers (who were desperately trying to get his attention by sipping their straws in an annoying fashion as to signal that their red plastic pottery that was supposed to be filled with the sweet delights of liquid...were infact empty) so therefore his tip consisted of various pennies with various dates in the shape of a smiley face.

Thank you and Goodnight.

Humans, as a species, are constantly, and in every way, comparing themselves to one another, which, given the brief nature of their existance, seems an oddity and, for that matter, a waste. Nevertheless, this is the driving influence behind every human's social development, their emotional health and sense of joy, and, sadly, their greatest tragedies. It is as though something that helped them function and live well has gone missing, and they are pining for that missing thing in all sorts of odd methods, none of which are working. The greater tragedy is that very few people understand they have the disease. This seems strange because it is obvious. To be sure, it is killing them, and yet sustaining their social and economic systems. They are an entirely beautiful people with a terrible problem.
                                               - an excerpt from Donald Miller's
                                               Searching For God Knows What

Have you ever just hated money?

10 Things about Parents that frustrate me:

10. the fact that they are ignorant of teenage reality

9. the way they think we think we know it all

8. the way they think that we have nothing new to offer (especially spiritually)

7. their unwillingess to let go

6. their over-protective nature

5. their habit of misunderstanding

4. their ignorance of what we're really thinking

3. their grasp on our very lives and unwillingness to let us go where we feel the need to go

2. their need of their daily dosage of our time

1. the fact that I love them anyway.

Once upon a time, there lived a boy named Brian King...

...who felt that he needed to go out on his own and experience the world...

like the joys of eating chocolate cake.

So he decided to run away. But he was captured inside a limo, where he was forced an inconceivably disgusting poison down his throat.

Little did naive Brian know, this "poison" was quite the stuff.

He soon came to realize this...

and it was thru this process that he came up with a brilliant idea...he could fake insanity and escape this horrible circumstance...

...his plan was succesful and he proceeded to climb up Mount Starbuck...

...the climb was hard, but when he reached the other side he was pleasantly surprised by a friendly encounter by the Paper Hat People...

and although they were nice...he decided he was ready for another adventure...

...so as he sat with his Napolean inspired thinking cap, he pondered on his next adventure...

...he wished to become a wanderer of the desert destined to be a sheik...

yet he needed something else...

he took some time to meditate on what it was that he needed....and found that what he needed was an arabic sidekick to guide him...

....yet, due to his ignorance, the arabic guide/sidekick...turned him into a flying monkey.

The End...

allow me to be a bit depressing...

so I've gotten to the point where I've chosen to evaluate all of the relationships that I have formed with people...from people I met 10 yrs ago to the ones I met last wk...the majority of them have impacted my life.

what's sad is this...

I don't want to be the person that walks away from these relationships just because I'm beginning my life.

I love them too much.

And chances are...if we're friends....you've most likely made an impact on me....

...and you haven't a clue.

the fact is that I've put you so far in the back of my mind, that even when you're right in front of me...I dont recognize you.

this is what it's come to,

I thought I wanted this.

it's funny, if maybe a month ago she would have told me that when you look at me, it's almost as if you loved me...I might have believed her.

Funny how things work out.

so brian's pregnant...what else is new?

Introduce yourself in one bold, honest paragraph.
My name is Sara Shaban and I am many things. A dreamer, a thinker, and a beginner are among some of those things. I am a growing christian with more than enough questions. I change my mind alot therefore I have a wide variety of goals and dreams. I plan on studying journalism because I want to travel the world and let everyone else in on my adventures. If you were ever to give me a gift make sure it's a book or a giftcard to a place where I could get one.

Tell me what people think about you.
On first impression their reaction is most likely "Weird, but I like her." I like that impression.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
To have the ability to just sit and listen for a while.

Have you ever felt at home with someone?
 Completely besides my mother? not yet.

Describe your appearance.
I'm 5'2. I have long dark brown hair but you might as well call it black. My eyes are brown as well. I have hands the size of a 5 yr olds and an arab looking nose.

Biggest revelation to date?
"Unless you assume a God, the question of life's purpose is meaningless."
and
"It's all about relationships."

Biggest issue weighing you down?
College. Accepting the Future.

Theme song?
"Do you love me now that I can dance?"

Give me some final parting advice.
Form as many relationships with as many diffrent people as you can.

If you were to write a book about your life...what would the title be?

Who do you admire and look up to?

Why?

running to another world
falling in love
fake laughter
alluring eyes
words without weight
figurative speech
deceit
coldness
poetry
lighting candles
beautiful pain
beauty in general

You,
I suspect that you haven't a clue as to what kind of an effect you have on me. I thought this was over and done with, yet somehow you've managed to create an issue all over again. The conversations we have and the diction you choose...what do you expect from me? I've become so vulnerable to you. Something I never wanted and something I never expected. You know that what you want from me is something I can't give and yet you ask for it as if you expect me to give it to you anyway.
It's been almost forever since I've seen you, yet I can still remember the very look in your eyes when I said goodbye.
I'm afraid that I may be persuaded into the very thing I promised myself I wouldn't allow.
This is you.
And I can't fight even if it's not real.
                                                   The one who can't help it.

Have you ever felt...

held back
put in a box
limited
shut in
sheltered...

by a person you expected to support you?

just a thought.
share yours.

what is love?

Here's a few questions for you and I'm anxious to hear your responses:

If people don't believe that the Holy Spirit can dwell inside of them, are they christians?

Do you believe that the holy spirit can dwell inside of a person, but the person can refuse to let the spirit transform them?

Tell me your opinion.

I'd have to say that if there is  one thing that really just botheres me it is this:

when people don't live life to the fullest...

they have so much to experience, so much to see, but they waste the day, the opportunity, the beauty...
they don't embrace it with open arms.

I'll never understand that.

Throwing yourself in the rush.

It's sad because sometimes people don't take the time to form relationships with the people they're surrounded by...no matter where they are.

You'll be surprised what you'll find and what kind of influence you'll have on these people...or what kind of influence they'll have on you.

Forgive me but...

"as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you're making out...and as for me I wish that I was anywhere with anyone..."
                                                                                       - Dashboard Confessional

Sometimes as much as you don't want to...you end up making some dumb typical teenage post about something so unimportant when there are so many others things that are much more vital than this.

it's a mystery.

and i've temporarily sunken to this level.

"if I could find you now things would get better
we could leave this town and run forever"

okay...it's out of my system.
Your intellectual and.... let's face it...the absolute coolest sara is back to her normal self.

the cliche has reached its end.

God is amazing and most definetly evident in my life. I love him so much and I thank him for being my strength because he knows I am not capable of living without him.

I see people everyday, I see their beauty and the mind that they've been blessed with and my heart goes out to them because they are blind to the potential that they have to change the world. They can further God's kingdom in so many ways and yet they are paralyzed.

But then I have to think....am I too blind to the potential I have to further God's kingdom?

I am not done growing and I am looking fwd to the trials and experiences that God has in store for me.

Do you ever have thoughts such as, " I want to forget everything and walk barefoot with a backback and tell Jesus to everyone I meet" ?

Frustration.
Excitement.
Wonder.
Brokeness.
Happiness.

I want to change the world.

I want you to come with me.

sometimes the people you love the most...will never know.

But is that mysterious factor which makes the great love stories?

         And so...

I wonder what it would be like if things were just a bit diffrent. If the timing were earlier and my fears didn't exist.Know what I mean?

I love people. Be my friend.

Jonathan Moore...you're my favorite.

so... the retreat was absolutely amazing. The the theme was "Who Am I?" the age old question. Skid came up and talked to us and it was by far the best lesson I've ever heard from him. God was truly speaking thru him last night and I felt like he was talking directly to me. Lately I've been so confused as to what direction my life is suppose to be going and the brief hours I spent at short mt. were ones I cannot forget. I became aware of my spiritual gifts and what role I must play in God's kingdom. I came to numerous realizations of what I should do with the brief time I have here. Everything I do and I say must reflect my God. I must take this time to form as many relationships as possible. I must act in such a way that everyone around me can't help but see Christ in me. Who am I? I am God's...